Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

Flying to USA, 19mo won't have own seat, safety?

58 replies

RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 14:38

We were invited to go to a family wedding in America but couldn't afford to go and were happy to miss it. My parents have now offered pay for the flights but will only pay for 3 seats, one for DH, DD1 (2yr11mo) and I each, so no seat for DD2 who is 19mo so she would have to sit on my lap.

I know its not very safe to have a little one on your knee because in a crash or bad turbulence you can crush them but I'm not sure what to do. We can't afford to buy her her own seat, we can just about cover the costs of food and hotels whilst away, if we go.

We are very safety conscious, in the car we have both girls in rearfacing car seats and intend to have them rearfacing until they grow out of their extended RF seats (~4yrs) so it seems crazy to go on a trip where we are ignoring our safety concerns but at the same time everybody else just thinks we're bonkers and worry too much.

What should we do? As far as I can see my options are:
a) Don't go, graciously thank parents but decline, explaining we don't feel its safe
b) Go with DD2 on my lap and try not to worry
c) Have the two girls both sit in the 3rd seat with the lap belt across both of them for take off, landing and any turbulence we experience.

OP posts:
B52s · 09/05/2011 15:15

You would also be nuts to do a).

StewieGriffinsMom · 09/05/2011 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:18

MarioandLuigi Grin Yes, I'm trying not to think about that! Grin

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 09/05/2011 15:19

God I'm so sorry - getting lbs and kgs mixed up Blush I blame DS who woke me at 5am :(

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:24

Stewie Our seats have tether straps already and can go rear or front facing, will see if we can take one for DD1, won't help for DD2 though without her own seat.

OP posts:
BugsnBites · 09/05/2011 15:24

There are widely diverse views on that harness, so do some research before buying one, as they are pricy.

I understand why you're concerned. We fly a lot and when the DC were smaller I was concerned, too. But once you're on the flight, the chance of your 19-month old getting into a seat and remaining strapped in for a longhaul flight are virtually nil. In case of turbulance you're warned about, of course you can put DD in your lap with infant loop.

But at 19months you will be really uncomfortable for the whole of that flight. I'd get her a seat. Also worth asking your parents, as they may not have considered how uncomfortable and potentially unsafe it would be.

RitaMorgan · 09/05/2011 15:26

Surely she'd be more likely to be injured in the car on the way to the airport than actually on the plane?

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:32

Rita Yes I see that, but I've thought about car travel, decided the safest way to do it is to have them in extended rearfacing seats.

I've found a stockist, had seats properly fitted, paid the extra for that type of seats and know I've done as much as I can to make car travel for my family as safe as possible.

I don't see why I shouldn't give the same thought and consideration to air travel.

Its not like I think they are totally safe as long as we never set foot on a plane, I just want to make a choice which I feel is the best for us.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 09/05/2011 15:33

OK, but you sound a little unusually concerned about risks.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:34

Thats just how I am, I am a big time worrier.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 09/05/2011 15:35

It would be a shame to let your worries stop you from going on such a great trip though.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:36

It would and my parents wouldn't understand at all Sad

Don't even get me started on my worries about the airport transfer to hotel and the car seat situation!

OP posts:
BugsnBites · 09/05/2011 15:46

Rain, it's fair enough to worry, but honestly I can't remember any case of a baby being crushed to death in an emergency landing where (most) of the other passengers survived. It's theoretically possible, but I'm an avid reader of 'plane crash' news articles (worrier + frequent flyer) and I can't remember one. I have read stories of babies/toddlers injured in severe turbulance.

Airport transfer surely no problem? You bring your carseats and strap them into the taxi. I have waived away several taxis at airports before finding one that fit the carseats properly. Grin

BugsnBites · 09/05/2011 15:47

Oh, and be aware that US airlines do not have infant belt loops.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:51

We'll be on Virgin Atlantic probably and because of where the wedding is we should be OK without any domestic flights, so should have the belt loops on both flights.

OP posts:
wentshopping · 09/05/2011 15:54

Rain - just a thought for your airport transfer - I travel with my disabled dd (age 9, weighs 34 lbs) and always have to use her carseat, as she cannot sit independently. I always say to the driver, "er, I just need a couple of minutes to get her carseat strapped in, ok?" with a smile, and there's never any problem - this is with transfer minibuses, taxis etc. So don't worry - chances are the driver is a parent/grandparent and knows the importance of carseats.
Looking at your link - I have read about this, and I may be wrong, but I think you can only use them in the very back row of the plane - so the strap going around the seat doesn't interfere with the tray table of the person behind.(And so they can't fiddle with the strap, either). I would avoid the back row of a long-haul flight - queues for the loo, constant noise from the galley etc, as you never know, your dd may fall asleep!
We travelled UK/US with all 3 of our dcs before they turned 2 to take advantage of not needing to buy them a seat; you get the bulkhead space and use of fold-down baby seat - which you may only use while you nip to the loo or eat, but gives kiddo a different vantage point. I'd say go for it!

wheresthepimms · 09/05/2011 15:59

Virgin Atlantic won't let them take off, land or experience turbulence without being sat on your lap even if they do have their own seat. Oh and if your DCs are old enough to be forward facing in their car seats (and heavy enough, with head control) you SHOULD swap them forward facing as this is actually a lot safer for them than being to big in a rearward facing seat. It's ok to be a little paranoid about them travelling but seriously you are going a bit OTT and maybe putting them at more risk by doing so.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 16:06

wheresthepimms we'll have to agree to disagree on the RF or FF car seat situation I'm afraid. Our seats are RF to 25kg, approx 3 - 4 years old.

OP posts:
Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 16:09

wheresthepimms Just realised that you think we have kept them in their rearfacing baby seats. They are both in rearfacing toddler seats, as I said in last post, should fit them until they are 25kg which is usually around 3-4 years I believe.

OP posts:
californiaburrito · 09/05/2011 16:10

Sorry if someone has already mentioned this but it worth checking to see what kind of aircraft you are likely to be flying on. If it one with a 3-4-3 set up you will likely get the entire 4 middle seats to yourself as NO ONE will want to sit next to you unless it is the last seat on the plane. Then you just have to manage to charm the gate agent to let you bring the car seat on.

Having travel to the west coast of the US frequently with a small child I think you might be overreacting a little about this, but if you are not comfortable with it than that's your prerogative. God knows there are some things that I am unreasonable about too. But it would be a shame if you decided to go and the whole experience was ruined by a stressful flight, airport transfer, etc....

californiaburrito · 09/05/2011 16:11

Also, pimms is correct you will have to hold the LO on your lap during take off and landing.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 16:15

I know most will think I'm overreacting, but its important to me.

Like you say though, most have something that they are unreasonable about. My friend goes mental if her DD is is the same room as a TV because the DD isn't 2 yet and she can't have TV before she is 2. I think she is a little daft, but it is important to her so I go with it for her. Each to their own.

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 09/05/2011 16:20

I think you'd better not go to be honest. If you're that uncomfortable about it, it really doesn't seem worth it. And tbh, having a child who's nearly 2 sitting on your lap for a long haul flight sounds awful

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 16:23

ChristinedePizan Yes, thats the conclusion I am coming to too, but think I'm over worried and maybe I'll let my DH make the decision. Maybe I'm too worried to see the wood for the trees. Off out now, but will check back later.

OP posts:
gregssausageroll · 09/05/2011 16:44

An aircraft won't take a rear facing seat it has to be forward facing.

If there is going to be an accident (ie on TO or Landing or through turbulence) then your under 2 year old will be on you knee anyway as is law.

Only an over 2 year old can sit in their own seat, without a child seat, for TO, Landing and turbulence. You can still book a seat for an under 2 but they must be on your knee for TO, landing and tubulence.