This sounds really wanky - but help me with my obsession re. getting a first (think I am a tw*t)

[hmc]

I already have a couple of degrees (don't know why I feel I have to say that, I think I am an intellectual snob and don't want anyone to think this is my first degree because I couldn't cut it at school ...why am I like this???)

Anyways - am currently doing OU History degree (started in Feb) - to keep my mind ticking over and something for me (as a SAHM - because...so easily... you can loose your sense of self)

Have done level 1 module and am awaiting result ...but it is only level 2 and level 3 courses which count toward degree classification. For some reason am obsessed with getting a first (got 2:1 in my first degree). All good so far - first three assignments for my first level 2 course have achieved the required 85%+...but this doesn't come easily, I literally sweat blood to get these marks

So, everybody else on the course forum just wants a pass and I am having kittens over every assignment and forthcoming exam desperate to maintain 85% plus. Next assignment due on 14 August but kids break up from school next Wednesday....am mega stressed as I can see my mark for next assignment suffering (no time - pushy ankle biters). Being mean and intolerant to children atm as I want to study

Help me get some perspective. I keep saying to myself - you are doing this for 'fun' and yet you are making a meal of it...but am still obsessing

Am causing my own pressure. How do I persuade myself that it doesn't matter if I don't get a first?

Sorry a bit pissed and sound like a prat - but genuinely, this issue (as trivial as it may sound) is causing me grief - am not looking forward to school summer holidays because of it

at least you know there are many many scarily anxious and equally needy students - 'twill stop you feeling quite so lonely

now get back to work - the dcs must be in bed - you've got a first to work your butt off for

or maybe just have a nice glass of red...

Why do you feel that you lose your sense of self as a SAHM? What "self" are you finding in your (redundant) OU degree?

You might find yourself if you spent more constructive time bringing up your children!

hmc - your are right, it is flexible - I had already thought of doing it myself, for just that reason, before you lot came along and jumped on the band wagon.

The reason for the link was just to prove that you don't need to put yourself under pressure to get a first to teach with the OU.

However, I doubt it will make much difference to your need to get one for yourself, will it?

BonsoirAnna. I totally get where the OP is coming from.

So the OP is not using her time constructively? Surely showing your children that you place a high value on education is a good thing isn't it?

I'm not sure that my definition of placing a high value on education and hence being a good parent role model would include "being mean and intolerant to children atm as I want to study". Nor would it include redundant degrees.

I think that the OP is running away from herself, not finding herself (as she seems to think) in her current degree.

Christ, there are some rude people on mumsnet. The OP's degree is not 'redundant'. What a ridiculous thing to say.

Very bizarre to suggest the degree is 'redundant' when it is likely to open the door to stimulating and interesting part-time work.

lol, this reminds me of 'avenue q'... 'what do you do with a BA in english?/ it sucks to be me..' repeat ad infinitum.

(erm, yes, i do have a BA in english. dh and mates nearly wet themselves in the theatre )
rhetorical q by the way - have plenty of my list of 'things to do' lol, it's narrowing it down that seems to be the issue...

Goodness - I think I might need to slit my own throat, BonsoirAnna has really shocked me to the core. How will I look my children in the eyes tomorrow. I'm so inadequate (PMSL)

lol, anna, how do you square your advice on this thread to stop 'running away', and face up to our (more constructive) parenting responsibilities, to your advice on the thread yesterday to the 19yo?

why is it ok for that poster to leave her 1yo dd with the child's grandparents for a year or two (at least) so that she can move to cambridge to study, but not ok for us to study whilst we are actually bringing up our children ourselves?...

(apologies for introducing thread about a thread stuff...)

i have no issues either way with the 19yo lol - if i was her i'd have contacted the uni and asked about their nursery facilities and child-friendly accom - it's her decision what she does. i'm just baffled as to why you are adamant that some women with children should not be studying, whilst other women with children are encouraged to leave their kids with someone else and study full time away from 'home'?

genuinely curious. i'm assuming it is some sort of 'standard of care' issue? loving grandparents trump harassed studying mothers?

I agree madwonman, it is baffling that Anna would see fit to comment on what has been an otherwise constructive and supportive thread. As a harassed studying mother myself, I am a heck of a lot better mother than I was when I was depressed and miserable that I had nothing I was working towards and didn't know what to do financially and for my career once the children went to school. As a harassed studying mother, I plan times to study and I plan times to be with my kids with no distractions. Before studying all too often I was pretty directionless, especially in the long school holidays and didn't do nearly as much with the children as I do now.

The bottom line is, if studying for something is giving something to you, self-esteem (which I think is the issue here with a lot of us, myself included), financial benefit, interest, relief from boredom, breadth of knowledge, whatever, then it is beneficial to us and thus beneficial to our family in the long run.