Did you/ should you accompany your child to university open days?

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Back in the dark ages, I went on my own or with a friend to various universities. I don’t think I even considered asking my parents to come although they were involved in my life and education.

Now I’m in the position of starting open days with DS and I don’t see why this should change but maybe I’m wrong? He’s bright and capable and we live in a big city so practically there are good transport links. Perhaps if he fancied St Andrews I might have to reconsider although I could explore the town instead.

But obviously if he chooses wrongly, it’s an expensive mistake so I’d welcome opinions.

Also study abroad? He’s doing a MFL for a level so perhaps we could look at this? Where to start 🤯?

There are a couple of different ways to go to the open day as a parent;

• the one you noticed when you were going, where parent and child go round together
• the one you’d never have spotted where both go, but generally have separate itineries. Parent goes to the fees and funding info, a halls tour and a department info session. Student goes to the course info session, a different halls tour and a campus tour. Compare notes on way home.
• the one where the parent goes round a different department, so they’re further away but still picking up info.

I went to my first DC1 university visit and was our local university. DC2 both dh and I went with them to their 2 choice universities mainly for different reasons dh for logistics of getting there, me because it is a subject we share an interest in so we could talk through differences in the courses.

DS I'm not involved with but dh is. As he interested in Computer Sciences//Cyber security which is a completely outside my understanding but is an area where dh works in so he can more advice and compare the different courses so DS can make the right choice.

I work our open days and my job is to speak to parents. We expect them to come along and cater for them.

I too think that the independence is a good thing but having said that we did go with DS to all but 2. One he went to with some friends from Sixth Form and one with DC2.

I do think that if they go without parents these days they’re in a minority and at the Offer Holder Days they even had talks for just the parents.

I didn't attend the offer holder day. By then I felt that DD could go alone. I was needed for transport, so I took her then went for a wander round town.

DD said that she was only one of 2 students whose parents didn't attend.

I went to a couple of my elder DDs and she did a couple with friends. My youngest dd only wanted one and so we went together. I was just guided by them

My Dc both reported there were not lots of details about the courses. Far more on the web sites. They never drilled down enough to compare courses via open days. It was far more general. Overall vibe and enthusiasm was more what dc came away with from subject talks. The year abroad talks are usually more informative but don’t expect every nuance of a 3 or 4 year degree.

When I went with DD I really enjoyed the subject talks.

Hell, I was tempted to sign up myself !! 😆

haha yeah my DD applied for classical civilisation as one of her choices and I loved the talk at the Warwick offer day. I studied classics at school and was really excited about learning Greek! DD less keen lol.

I accompanied both DD and DS as they each visited several universities. They both needed driving there, and they both also wanted my input on what we saw on the day. I didn’t advise them one way or another on which to choose, and they both made their decisions independently.
When I went to look at colleges myself over 50 years ago I took myself around the country alone on the train, as neither of my parents were interested enough to either take me or show any curiosity about where I might go.

We went to two or three with DD, and she went to a couple with her friends.

That was two decades ago, though. And I'd totally understand parents going now, because of the huge financial burden of going to uni these days. If you're going to spend that kind of money, reassurance that the uni that your child is going to will give value for money, is important.

Haha yep I said to dd I wanted to sign up 🙈😂

I didn’t see any kids without parents but if i had id have felt a bit sad for them. My parents didn’t drop me off at uni back at the end of the 90s and I can remember feeling rubbish about that.

My dd is very independent, had a pt job since 16, travelled around Europe and Australia on her own, knows her own mind etc so I don’t think me going along to a uni open day is any reflection on independence.

I went to most with dd and she did a couple with school.
It’s very much the norm to go with a parent. There are finance talks aimed at parents. Seeing accommodation costs set out on a slide is very sobering.
I studied same subject so knew what was looking at, certain universities definitely impressed far more than others.
Year abroad was important to my dd and we went to all year abroad talks at various unis. It was helpful to get an early idea of costs (my dd is going abroad next semester and has received zero Turing funding it’s all on us)
Unis employ marketing tactics. I think it’s good to have someone there to help them focus on what’s important to them.
It was nice to spend time together and have detailed conversations. She initially wanted London but cost reality hit and she changed to wanting a big city. She also changed from straight subject to with another along the way. Useful to have someone else to recall details.
It’s a huge financial investment. If I was spending £60,000 plus on something I’d want someone with me.
I also went to offer day and set up was they went to talks and there were things for parents.
Only one uni said no parents at open day subject talk as it was so oversubscribed (UCL)

@Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers Exeter have had issues with parents hogging talk seats and they have been asked to leave. I did, as a parent, go to a talk at Oxford, (not a popular subject) and DC was very put off by the parents and some very earnest potential students. Imposter syndrome definitely raised its head.

The subject talk from one lecturer really doesn’t tell you much about all lecturers and quality over 3-4 years, or all the options let alone value for money. It’s a marketing snapshot.

A degree only costs £60,000 plus if you pay the loan back or don’t take a loan. For many the loan isn’t paid off and the degree is relatively cheap as it’s based on earnings. Parental money is another matter of course.

I was going (for interviews - they didn't do 'open days' as such back then) at universities in 1975/6 and nobody was accompanied by a parent then. It just wasn't the done thing!

That is fifty years ago, two whole generations, and times have changed a lot.

Mine went alone, we couldn’t get the time of work. Involved a 17 year old driving to the airport, parking, flying getting trains to see a number of uni’s in a few days. We were lucky they could stay with a friend in one Uni city as most hotels would not allow 17 year old to check in alone. I was very proud of their independence but at the end of the day if it wasn’t for work I would have liked to have went. There really is no right or wrong. If they want you to go, go if you can. If you can’t go you can’t go!

I went to uni as an older student and it never occurred to me to ask anyone to go with me. I don't know if they had official open days back then (1980s). I had an interview and an offer at each uni I applied to. So I must have done something right. My main occupation was the quality of the library and I was put off one uni because of the small size. Several of the cities I stayed over night and then went shopping the next day to get a real feel for the vibe. In the end I was offered (at interview) and accepted my first choice which was a city I already knew well.

This was back in the days before the internet so I had done all my research in the local reference library looking at prospectuses hence making it an overnight trip in 3 cases. In effect I treated it like a city break.

No, I didn't. It didn't occur to me. (Gen X). DD organised her own open days, having done the research on where she might like to go. She had repeated Y12 to get better grades, so was actually a year older and already 18 whilst looking.

I do remember my DSis once giving her a lift to the day (Sis lived in that particularly Uni city and DD had got the train there and stayed with her the night before). My sister then phoned me up to say 'I felt a bit guilty as I drove away because everyone else had their Mum and Dad with them - should I have stayed?' which made me feel bad as her actual mother...

When I asked DD 'Did everyone else have parents with them?' she said, 'Yeah'. But when I said, 'Do you want me to come?' she looked bewildered and said, 'No. What for? I liked looking round on my own and chatting to folks' so I just left her to it.

She's always been very independent and prefers to do stuff herself, so I guess it depends on your child and what they would rather.

@Friendlygingercat With due respect, how is that relevant to 2026/27? The dc isn’t a mature student nor, I suspect, the luxury of numerous 3 night stays.

Ds had 2-3 friends applying to the same unis, similar stem courses, cities fairly local (1.5hrs drive max) and they could drive themselves or get the train(s), so he went with them. I didn’t get an invite 😂

Yes, I think it's unusual to not accompany your DC to University open days.. To be there for support, and for company. They're in a strange place where they know no-one, and often many miles away..... I thought it was weird when people turned up on their own with no parents, and I felt sorry for them to be quite honest. (They were very few, and stood out a mile, walking around alone.)

Also, in the majority of cases, it will be much quicker by car than by public transport. Both my DC looked at 5 different Universities between them, and 4 out of the 5 took 3-4 hours to drive to. Would have been 6-7 hours by train, and more costly.

I am really surprised at the amount of posters claiming that they never accompanied their DC to University open days. Everyone I know did, and the vast majority of people at the University open days had parents with them.

And yes, I know they will be on their own when they start University, and won't have their parents with them then 🙄

No

20 years ago I took DS1 and dropped him off and went into the town, got tea, cake and read until he was ready to be picked up. He decided against university as he felt the other students were too infantilised and he had nothing in common. Parents were taking over the talks/ show rounds and their kids standing back, letting parents do the asking. He went straight to working instead. He was a boarder so was used to being independent.

I took the DC to most Open Days. Luckily, I couldn't do one that was quite a distance - six hours there, and ditto back, on public transport. DD realised what a pain that would be for three years of her life and, unsurprisingly, it got struck off the list. Result