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DS dropping out of uni, now wants to study in Barcelona

26 replies

ser · 28/10/2026 23:05

For a multitude of reasons, DS has decided to drop out of university. He’s in the first term of his first year and officially withdrew on Monday.
In hindsight, he probably should never have gone in the first place. He’d always wanted to take a gap year and travel, and he had clear plans to do so. His decision to take a year out was fully supported. However, one evening during the summer holidays, he suddenly announced that he’d completely changed his mind and was adamant that he wanted to go to university.
Although he’d completed his UCAS application, he’d done so on the assumption that he wouldn’t actually be going, so he hadn’t given much thought to what he really wanted to study. As a result, he ended up applying through Clearing.
He secured a place at a pretty good university, but he’d never visited it or properly researched the course, the city or the halls of residence. (Yes, more fool him — I get it! Hindsight is a wonderful thing.)
He couldn’t get into university accommodation, so he ended up in private halls with no other freshers. There was no shared kitchen and very little opportunity to socialise with the people he was living alongside. He broke up with his girlfriend during his first weekend there, then caught norovirus in his second week and was really ill for several days.
Once he’d recovered, he joined clubs, made friends, signed up at the gym and genuinely tried to make the best of things. However, deep down, he hated it and has thoroughly regretted his decision. His heart just isn’t in it. He hates his accommodation, isn’t particularly enjoying his course and wishes he’d stuck to his original plan of travelling.
He’s now decided to withdraw, get a job, work hard and save as much money as possible. He may then reconsider university next year, but with more research behind him and, hopefully, a much more mature approach to the decision-making process.
That all sounded pretty sensible and realistic. However, he’s now saying that he wants to go to Barcelona next year to study. The course he’s interested in is taught in English, and he understands that he’ll need to prepare for and pass two additional exams, achieving very high marks in both.
My concern is that he could be setting himself up for exactly the same situation all over again. He’d be committing to a university he’d never visited, studying something different, and doing so in a country where he doesn’t even speak the language.
Is he panicking? Is he simply trying to escape his current situation and looking for somewhere else to be? Does he just need some time to mature, reflect and think things through more carefully?
I’d hate to discourage him from pursuing a dream if Barcelona is genuinely what he wants. Equally, I don’t want to see him make another huge decision on impulse, only to find himself in the same position this time next year. At the moment, it feels very much like history repeating itself.
If this were your son, what would you suggest or recommend? Would you encourage him to pursue the Barcelona idea, or would you advise him to take a year out, get some work experience, travel and give himself more time to work out what he really wants?
Many thanks for any advice or insight.

OP posts:
clary · 28/10/2026 23:18

If this were your son, what would you suggest or recommend? Would you encourage him to pursue the Barcelona idea, or would you advise him to take a year out, get some work experience, travel and give himself more time to work out what he really wants?

I mean as I read it, even if he does choose the Barcelona option, he will still take a year out and thus may as well work and travel. That may change his view.

I would interrogate with him the exact detail tho. Studying in Spain as opposed to the UK could mean considerable additional costs in terms of tuition and living costs. What is it he wants to study? Why Barcelona? I take it he has never studied Spanish so it's not a case of wanting to extend his abilities there. In general I think study abroad can be a very enriching and fulfilling experience, but there needs to be research around it for sure. Is it really as sudden a switch as your OP implies?

What was he studying in the UK? Does he want to switch subjects entirely? It sounds to me as though he needs to give it all some careful thought.

SylvanMoon · 28/10/2026 23:21

What's the course he wants to study and what are the reasons he's giving you for wanting to study it? How did he find out about it? How will it be funded? And what's happening with the loss of fees that he's incurred by dropping out of his current university? I'd be wanting to explore with him why he wants to go to university at all and for what long-term aim. If his reasons for now wanting to study in Spain have some semblance of a reasonable plan, then surely he should be using this remaining year preparing for that by learning Spanish and studying for whatever the two additional exams are. I'd also be hoping that he was looking to earn some money to either pay back the student loan he's acquired (or you, if that's who funded him this year).

ser · 28/10/2026 23:30

Yes, his plan is to leave now and spend the next eight months working, studying for his two exams and learning Spanish. He wants to study International Business at the University of Barcelona, and he’s looked into the fees, which are considerably cheaper than in the UK. Leaving now would mean he’d owe around £2,300 in student loan repayments, although his living costs so far have been covered by his savings.
As for “Why Barcelona?”, that’s the bit he’s struggling to come up with a mature answer to, beyond the fact that it’s his favourite city in the world 🤦🏻‍♀️ He’s pretty well travelled, but mainly in a holiday context, and certainly not to the extent that he’s been everywhere!
I just feel he’ll be going from one impulsive decision to another and that’s what’s worrying me most I think.

OP posts:
clary · 28/10/2026 23:32

Tbf if he has dropped out this early he will only have had one initial loan tranche and may well (uni dependent) not be liable for much in the way of tuition or hall fees (tho I see he was in private halls). Mate of DS2's dropped out after about three weeks and had a minimal ££ commitment as a result.

clary · 28/10/2026 23:39

Ah so he has been there? Apologies I took it that it was somewhere he had not been. His favourite city? How many times has he been there and for how long? I love Paris but I have been there many times. I liked Vienna on a visit but wouldn't commit to live there on that basis. And I speak the language as well.

Did he study an MFL at school at all? Are the cheaper fees the main draw – as I would imagine living in Barca won't be cheap?

ser · Yesterday 00:00

He’s only been three times: once with family, once with mates and once with his girlfriend (now ex), but never for longer than four or five days. I love city breaks, so he’s visited lots of places growing up, but Barcelona is the one he keeps returning to.
He studied French at GCSE and, although he’s pretty academic, he definitely doesn’t have an aptitude for languages.
No, the reduced fees aren’t the draw; it’s Barcelona itself. I wonder whether he’d be better off trying to get some seasonal work there first? Although, without Spanish, I doubt that would work at all!
I do know that the course he wants to study is taught entirely in English, but I also know that he loves going out and socialising. With fewer than 13% of students at the University of Barcelona being international, I wonder how easy he’d find it to make friends and settle in.

OP posts:
tomorrowfollowstoday · Yesterday 05:03

If he got onto the course in Barcelona and completed it, would it be a positive or negative?

If a positive, I'd encourage him to have a meaningful year out and see how it goes.

What else can you do? He's an adult.

ETA: although the funding for an overseas course needs investigation.

Also ETA: sometimes young people feel they must have a plan, the more a parent interrogates the more difficult it is for them to admit uncertainty. He was brave to drop out quickly. A year out might be a good option. Treat Barcelona as something to thoroughly investigate and let him work things out?

Motheranddaughter · Yesterday 05:09

I would discuss the options with him if he wants to do that but would not encourage him o the path to take

clamshell24 · Yesterday 05:11

I would try to find out about teaching styles. They may very well be quite different from the engaged, student-focused approach of UK universities.

Adelle5923 · Yesterday 05:30

Surely if this is what he says he wants to do you need to arrange a trip to Barcelona to check out the university etc? Don’t let him go off somewhere where he hasn’t checked that out properly, because that was part of the mistake the first time round. He’s got loads of time to get ready and prepared for this, so make sure he uses that time properly.

I totally get why you’re worried, but if this is what he actually wants there’s no reason it won’t work out. Help him enrol on a Spanish course here so he can start learning the language. I know somebody that decided they wanted to learn Spanish so they went off to the Balearics, had a great time, became fluent in the language, got a job with an airline and now lives in South America. It was one of those random things to do - no connection to Spain or Spanish language but something they decided to do and achieved it. So the fact that your son doesn’t have an ability for languages is neither here nor there - it will be hard but if he wants it, it can be achieved. I also know somebody that dropped out of uni, decided they were going to learn to windsurf and then teach it for a living having never done it before, which is then what they then went on to do. Random, but they achieved it. So I don’t think your son is setting himself up for automatic failure but you should definitely spend some time with him to make sure he has a proper plan in place to get through it all.

DeftGoldHedgehog · Yesterday 05:37

Sounds like he had a plan and then second guessed himself. We're all allowed to do that, especially at this age. I'd encourage him to go to any welcome/introduction events to check its what he wants, but otherwise it sounds like a pretty good and exciting path to choose.

EspanaPorfavor · Yesterday 06:04

I had the draw to move to Spain when young, I’m still here 15 years later.

why not? Barcelona is full of foreigners and when you’re an immigrant it’s very easy to meet other immigrants, usually from where you’re from but at least english speaking. If he has the opportunity to go post brexit i would do it in a heartbeat!

The night life in Barcelona is amazing - all the big djs and bands go there (often instead of Madrid).

its an expensive city, yes, but you can flat share. There are telegram groups and Facebook groups for “expats” in different cities.

he could also get a tefl while he’s in his year off because that’s an easy way to make extra money and meet other english speaking people.

PeperNotNutsNoten · Yesterday 06:15

Barcelona'sa good city for students although expensive. I think 3 city trips is plenty to know of you like a place. It's enough to get a feel of the vibe which is the most important bit. I've moved internationally multiple times on less and the initial feeling of knowing if I'd be happy somewhere has always been correct.

I would try to check how good the course is and what the prospects are though. A lot of private universities with English courses in Europe aren't much more than money spinners aimed at non-Europeans. Things are improving with more outward-looking Europeans choosing them over the US, and more smart people from elsewhere being denied visas. There are definitely some brilliant courses if you're careful.

Laurmolonlabe · Yesterday 08:59

I would research the courses in Barcelona, it seems very unlikely to me that courses taught in English at a Spanish university- what is the point? Does he have a Spanish girlfriend?
It sounds to me as if he is not really very committed to the idea of university, has no idea what he wants to study , and the Barcelona idea seems more exciting but without any real idea of direction.
He obviously is not that committed to idea of starting work either- so i think he needs to take a step back and look into the loan situation as well.
I think it may be better if he works for a few months to fund a gap year , as he originally planned, but make sure he is not racking up debt because of the student loan.

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · Yesterday 12:42

I think I’d encourage gap year and if he’s still dead set on Barcelona plan encourage him to wait for 2028.
They sometimes get silly notions about being too old or behind curve but it’s very common to have a year or two out.
What is the damage for him dropping out now in terms of the private halls? Is he stuck paying the rest of the contract.
What’s his passport situation - is he EU passport holder?
How will he fund European uni fees if he’s not eligible for a loan.
My DD’s friend au paired for a year in France recently before uni but had EU passport.

ElizaSchuyler · Yesterday 13:21

The fees might be cheaper but he won't get a student loan for them. Has he got enough saved to cover that or is he expecting you to pay?

He also won't get any kind of maintennce loan to study in Spain.

Seagulldancing · Yesterday 13:31

Are you paying for his Spanish fees and living costs? Visa and the right to work also need to be considered too. You don't want him getting deported! The course maybe in English but engaging with the university will need fairly good Spanish, and European universities don't do pastoral care like UK ones will. He'll be expected to be way more independent.
Euramus is back from Jan, would he consider a uk university and a year in Spain that way?

Flipperthepriest · Yesterday 13:35

Yy re visas. Does he have any EU nationality at all, or could acquire it?

EdgyHiker · Yesterday 13:40

If that were my son, I would encourage him to do a lot of research into the degree in Barcelona checking course content, fees and housing options. And go and visit by himself. I would also encourage him to apply for similar courses at UK universities such as the International Business and ab initio Spanish degree at Exeter in case he changes his mind. These type of degrees would give him the year living in Spain with a lot more support than going to a Spanish university. The UK has recently announced it is rejoining the Erasmus scheme which gives students a grant for their year abroad too.

bumblebee1000 · Yesterday 13:48

I spent 2 years in Barcelona and Bilbao, studying for an MA [ spanish and tourism ] Barcelona was extremely hard to find accomodation, i spent months in cheap hostels, shared flats were very hard to find, pay 6 months in advance etc... and had to learn quite a lot of catalan to be accepted. I didnt enjoy my time there much at all. Bilbao was totally different, i made friends fast and its lots cheaper and the people seemed so much nicer.

clary · Yesterday 13:58

Yes I agree with others, a course in the UK in business and Spanish might be a better bet. Spanish ab initio is certainly offered at UK unis though it's a shame he didn't take French A level as that would show commitment.

Uni of York is another university offering a likely looking course and in fact doesn't specify any subject at A level. What was he studying before?

ser · Yesterday 18:19

Thanks for all your responses, there’s certainly a lot to think about, I think maybe keeping Barcelona in his head, but thinking of other options too would most likely be the best bet, I think I’ll encourage him to email Exeter, York, Loughborough and Bath to see if they’ll accept him on a business degree with grades in hand for next September. That way he’ll know if that’s an option or not. After that, he’ll need to get a job. He’ll then have time to decompress from withdrawing from his current uni, settle a bit, then think about what he actually wants to do. In answer to some of the questions. No, he doesn’t have a Spanish girlfriend, his ex girlfriend was fluent in Spanish but they are no longer together. No, I will not be paying his fees but will give him a contribution towards living expenses (the same as I would do if he was at university here). The contribution would be £600 per month so he would absolutely have to get a job alongside studying (if he was in Barcelona) or use a student loan if he was in the UK. Thanks again for all the advice and options of things to look into. I think he’s really panicking that he’s not got it all figured out yet… but no one expects him to have, I just don’t want him to jump headfirst into another decision that’s not been thought about.

OP posts:
Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · Yesterday 18:49

How much are the fees Op? Is it realistic for him to self fund.
Plus if he has no EU passport he’ll have to look into logistics and finances of studying and working abroad.

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · Yesterday 18:50

He’ll need to apply through UCAS by Jan deadline for 2027 entry to York, Exeter etc.

clary · Yesterday 19:41

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · Yesterday 18:50

He’ll need to apply through UCAS by Jan deadline for 2027 entry to York, Exeter etc.

Yes this – he can't just email and ask! but there is nothing to stop him pulling together another UCAS application – and since he has grades in hand he may well get an offer quickly (and obvs it will be a firm yes or no). If his grades are their standard offer then he is very likely to get an offer. Bath asks for 6 in Eng and maths for business I believe.

I think the money needs a careful look too; your £600 pm might just about cover accommodation from a cursory google, but fees will be on top of that and living expenses too – so he would need to save a good deal in the next 10 months. How realistic is it I wonder that he would be able to find a job that paid enough in Barca itself?