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Autistic DD struggling with Halle of residence kitchen filth

88 replies

Jeezitshard · 07/10/2026 15:43

My daughter is in her first year at Newcastle. She has a lovely room in halls with her own bathroom. The issue is the communal kitchen and lounge. She is autistic and has some sensory issues and experiences overwhelm when circumstances build up beyond her control. I’d warned her that student have dealt with kitchens could be grim but nothing could have prepared her like living with it. There are 8 of them sharing a kitchen. Both sinks are full with dirty dishes and bits of pasta, rice, soggy cereal, there are rotting vegetables leaking their juices over the worktops, if the bins are full they just keep filling it so there’s food all over the floor. She is loving uni but this three weeks in doesn’t bode well for the rest of the year. She’s living with mainly party animals - no one really like her. She’s making good friends outside of the flat but ‘home’ should be somewhere you can relax not somewhere you dread. She spoke to the accommodation office who said it wasn’t bad enough for an intervention. I’ve since emailed them to enquire about a smaller/ single sex/ quiet flat or even if there is any studio availability which she didn’t really want but might be better in the long run. Just wondering how other people’s YP have dealt with issues like this.

OP posts:
MrMurphysComeuppance · 09/10/2026 19:32

MrMurphysComeuppance · 09/10/2026 19:25

Perhaps they ought to put the students with autism and sensory issues all in together. Although my experience with a couple of young men with autism has been that they were the scruffiest, most undomesticated and disorganised people ever, with poor personal hygiene so I dread to think what their homes were like and the OP's DD probably wouldn't be happy living with them either.

I'm guessing if the ND kids had gone to student services and said 'we can't live with this bloke's stink and general chaos' they'd be told 'he's autistic, it's disability discrimination so you are stuck with him.'

Edited

Sorry that should have said if the NT kids had gone to student services, but it's too late to edit.

Jeezitshard · 09/10/2026 20:34

@MrMurphysComeuppance you're a real charmer aren’t you!

OP posts:
Orangerowanberries · 10/10/2026 10:20

She is going to be a lone and very unpopular voice trying to persuade a bunch of freshers to keep on top of their washing up just because it gives her the ick. Don't you think?

I disagree with this. Most students do not want to live in filth and would actually be relieved to have someone cracking the whip with cleaning rotas.

Orangerowanberries · 10/10/2026 10:26

In terms of people eating your food - do not store any easily consumed food in the kitchen. My first year in halls and we nearly all had cool boxes in our rooms by Christmas or milk was stored on the windowsill. My nephew got a cool box for similar reasons just a couple of years ago.

allthemind · 10/10/2026 10:28

Everyone with standards struggles with this. Its part of growing up and maturing - learning that you can't control how others behave. She just has to carve out some clean space for herself and keep stuff in her room.

ILoveKits · 10/10/2026 10:29

You need to contact Student Wellbeing/disability services and they should advocate for her with accommodation. You will need your dd's permission for you to be able to contact them on her behalf.

Honestly, retention of students is important and they should bend over backwards.

Good luck - staff in the aforementioned services are used to this.

cupfinalchaos · 10/10/2026 10:33

Thank goodness she has her own bathroom. Agree she needs her own cooking stuff kept in her room. If she could move to a catered hall that would solve so many problems. Meanwhile I’d be making her a few meals in disposable trays.

AlphaApple · 10/10/2026 10:41

That sounds tricky OP. There will be a lot of students in their first year who aren’t happy with their flatmates. She needs to keep hassling the accommodation office for a swap. If she can put in some coping strategies in the meantime and be patient but persistent it will work out.

Octavia64 · 10/10/2026 10:42

Newcastle does have studios for disabled students which my dd loved.

before that she had cereal in her room and had lunch out. She used a lot of deliveroo.

the people in her flat didn’t just (“just”) leave the kitchen a mess but had parties and socialised in there with other people so if my dd wanted to cook half the time there would be a party in there.

not good.

chickenwings2 · 10/10/2026 10:43

Ohhhh I had this too 15 years ago and took to publicly shaming them on Facebook and they fixed up veryyyyy quickly

Glosex · 11/10/2026 12:18

Several pairs of rubber gloves needed to be used to wash her own stuff and any space that she uses , its not ideal but it won't get any better so need to make the best of it

Tressyed · 11/10/2026 12:23

Im quite messy but uni is a whole other level mainly quite selfish as impacts others. I keps all my stuff in my own cupboard. At end of year everyones elses utensils just got chucked out..

Maybe she should just commit to emptying the bin as needed. Leave the rest of the mess.

WeDid2 · 12/10/2026 02:39

you will find that in a few weeks some kids will decide uni not for them and drop out before deadlines of having to pay more fees and I am sure more halls will have vacancies and she can go see the rooms before making a decision.

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