DS’ girlfriend broke up with him the day before we take him to University…

[loopylocks]

That’s it really. Taking DS to Uni today (1st year). Two and a half hours away. He has seemed down and distracted and told me last night his girlfriend had finished with him the day before. They’d been together for a year and he really liked her.

Argh - what do I do? Today was always going to be a tough day and now it feels likes it’s x100. Cannot believe the timing!

It's not an unusual occurrence. Many relationships end when people go to university. He will soon get over it when he meets new uni mates.

Horrible timing but I would be encouraging him to just put himself out there and focus on making the new friends that are just waiting for him to meet. My ds is second year and going back next week. He is not naturally the most confident but he just determined to speak to everyone he came across and he very quiickly got a lovely group of friends that he is now moving into his second year house with. I think in your position I would try and be positive and telling him that things happen for a reason. It’s better she has ended it now if she wasn’t feeling it and he now has a wonderful time ahead of him. I hope it goes ok - he will be absolutely fine and so will you. X

He’ll get over it much more quickly with the distraction of uni. Going to uni single is always better I think .

Just commiserate but also try to get him into the excitement of university. Remind him of the crazy array of clubs and societies that are there and talk about his new course. If possible remind we all go through this hence the reason there’s so many love songs out there but this one just wasn’t meant to be

Have you not talked to him before about the relationship and going to uni? It’s very common for relationships not to survive and really it would be a struggle to manage a home relationship with all the excitement of uni.

Agreed. He’ll feel understandably bruised for a bit, but it’s for the best.

There is no good timing. My DD was dumped about 6 weeks into her 1st year and that was just as awful.

It may have been better if he'd dumped her well before she went to uni, maybe straight after their exams, but she was besotted with him and it took her well over a year to get over him, so maybe it wouldn't have made any difference.

Bad timing but actually a blessing! He'll be distracted with his new uni life so will get over her quickly and it lets him fully embrace uni life without having that draw to home.

Give it a few weeks.
Girlfriend? What girlfriend.....

I think he will soon be glad. He can now have the best time ever, meeting lots of new people and not feel committed to a girl who lives miles away.
Wait fir freshers week, he is going to have a blast.

First year at uni is usually the most socially packed so it’s the best time to get over someone.

Obviously you do nothing & let him get on with his life as an adult

My boyfriend broke up with me the week after freshers week and I was furious because having a boyfriend made socialising slightly harder as it felt like boys avoided me / I avoided them slightly not wanting to give the wrong impression and the other girls wanted a wingwoman . Honestly it’s better now than the week after freshers.

Sympathies

Great! So now he’s free to enjoy his uni time !

I wish DD would split up with her BF. They’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of months, but it seems to be getting more intense the closer it gets to the start of uni. He’s a sweet boy, I’ve no complaints about him, but I think they’d both have a happier and less stressful uni experience if they went to their respective unis single, even if they felt sad initially.

Change is the best tonic for heartbreak. Tell him to throw himself into everything even when he doesn’t feel like it and time will do an even speedier job than usual of healing the pain.

Is the bf also going away to a different uni?

If going to a different uni she probably felt she was doing him a favour. The 1st year is very sociable and often relationships dont last anyway .

Ah. Poor thing. In a way it’s good timing as he’ll have loads to distract him. Maybe talk to him about not letting pain of letting go of the past inhibit natural joy and optimism about moving on to next stage of life. Off with the old, on with the new….

I clearly worded my original post badly. What I really meant was how do I help him get through such a big today when he feels so sad and withdrawn? And the next few days.

It feels so wrong to just leave him there feeling like this .

Poor DS. Mine and his gf tried to keep their 3 year relationship going when he went away and they lasted until Easter of his first year. He was/is devastated and I almost wish they had just called time before he started.
Your DS will be so busy meeting new people and having new experiences he will soon be distracted.

Ah OP, I have uni age kids and this would make me sad too! I hope it goes smoothly today and he settles in well and makes lots of new friends.

Its already hard to leave them, isnt it? I totally understand why you'd be worried.

Hopefully some of his flatmates will be there already or arriving and he will be too busy negotiating shelves in fridges and cupboards, where to go for a night out and getting to know them that his sadness will be soon forgotten.

But I get it. Are you dropping and running?

She probably didn't want a long distance relationship. In a way it leaves him more free to enjoy university. Hopefully he will get over it quickly.