Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

The car is being packed atm, ready for an 8.15am departure tomorrow morning. Mostly focused on the practicalities right now, though he’s only an hour away and plans to come home in the next couple of weeks for a family birthday, so if he’s forgotten something it’s no big deal. Plus, you know, shops…

I suspect the reality of him actually leaving will hit me in the next few days. Itching to clean his room properly though! We still have DS2 at home, so not fully empty nesting for a while yet. Hope you start to enjoy the space and time to yourself soon @rhabarbarmarmelade.

Wow it's amazing that some have or are just about to move away. DS has still got two weeks to go.

He is very laid back and every time I've asked him about whether he has done something uni related he just rolls his eyes.

He is an only so it will be very strange at home. His dad will also be working away for November so I will be all alone and I think it will take some getting used to.

3 weeks still to go here and it really is dragging. Local unis start this week so all DD’s friends who are her year or the year or two above are all back at it, moving into halls or houses, or (if staying at home) at least gearing up for freshers.

I think the momentum is lost a little and she doesn’t really know what to do with herself.

Same here! It's ramping up the unspoken anticipation and anxiety. I'll be crying non stop when she goes bit it needs to just happen!

Totally get this. Got one more year of DS at home and then both of them gone and 20 years as you say (plus 4 years of infertility trying to get them in the first place!). DH totally chill and quite looking forward to it. Aargh.

Empty nester here on the long train journey home. If I think about it I can’t breathe but I know it will be ok so am mainly in distraction mode. She’s up and down on day 2, hopefully it improves

The two Countrys on this thread @Countrylife2002and @CountryShepherdhave left their precious DC in the same place as mine....oh Fife!

Moving in slot booked for the 12th. He’s more excited than nervous now he says. Pile on his bedroom floor looks suspiciously small because no clothes sorted yet and no cycling stuff gathered together either.

I did go with the cute little mini hospital tin someone linked. Keeping that as a surprise for the day.

We’re just back home after dropping off DS. Helped him with the basic set up, said hello to a couple of people in his kitchen, then cleared out. Feeling just a bit numb about it atm, I’m sure it’ll kick in!

Big hugs to everyone who has done their drop offs, it's such a strange feeling isn't it.

So, we have to go by train and take everything with us..... Arrggghh!!

DD is off on the 19th and her DP is driving her up there and staying the night.

Ooo you did it. That’s exactly how I’m imagining it. Sending support. Our turn on Friday.

Feeling so strange but she is wildly excited. Got her room all sorted, went to buy houseplants at the little market, some kitchen supplies at the home improvement centre and then she waved us off! 10hr drive home yesterday, didn't get to stay for the pier walk but I think we were making her a bit anxious hanging around. It feels so safe though, a bit more like boarding school at the moment as she is in a catered traditional hall - and a shared room (which she requested!)

DS goes on Saturday, but he is really not looking forward to it and is scared about the whole thing. I feel like a shit mum, tbh, like I am putting him to the sword, forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. (I know this is irrational: DS is not being forced to do anything, he could still halt the process if he wanted to, even at this late stage).

The issue here is that DS got his firm, but decided at the last minute to 'trade-up' to a university with a more highly-regarded degree, which his grades allowed him to do through UCAS. He immediately regretted what he'd done and wishes he'd stuck with his original firm. He could take a year out, but has no real plans, and his grades, whilst respectable, don't give him a rock-solid guarantee of getting a more congenial offer by going back through UCAS.

DH and I think he can make a go of it, but it's a bit of a mess, and I'm just sad that we don't have all the happy anticipation and excitement that a family would usually have around sending a DC to university. 😥

Sorry to be such a downer, and good luck to everyone else who is behaving normally and rationally!

Sending big hugs to all those that need them.

DS has managed his first week at his first pt job, applied for a couple more apprentiships was really happy just to have one register his application. As only pt he has been helping round the house.

We take DS2 on Friday. It’s a bit difficult because DS1 has multiple complex disabilities and will never be able to go to uni - and is finding it very tough that his younger brother is about to embark on the new life that he can’t have himself. DS2 is a mixture of excited and completely terrified I think. And we have piles of unpacked packing all over the house!

Good luck to everyone else!

Sympathies to all for the complicated emotions! @ChildrenOfAlbionRovers , I laughed (sympathetically) at your description of feeling that you're putting DS to the sword. And @CatkinToadflax , that's tough on your older DS.

DD comes back from (yet another) holiday tomorrow and intends to rope her boyfriend into finishing her packing with her and then it's ho for the open road on Saturday (and facing down my driving anxiety, which at least is distracting me from my waving-child-goodbye anxiety).

My DD is off on the 19th though she's currently on holiday with a pal so I've no idea how she's feeling. She's had a year out working so that's done a lot for her confidence, and bank balance, but being a home bird (though a messy one) she's had quite a lot of nerves to deal with. Her course is a long one so I have visions of this taking some time to finesse but hopefully we can refine the packing and storing of 'stuff' when she's not at university.

What's interesting is at school she wasn't seen as particularly academic but off her own back has done really well securing her place on a very competitive course after she'd finished her A Levels so I'm curious to see how she slots in with her peers when she starts. She's very self critical but can come across as quite sure of herself aka chatty but that's usually nerves.

We've got a mountain of stuff in the living room and that's before her endless supply of 'little black tops' and other clothes are added. Talking about which societies she wants to join has been an eye opener but I'm not sure she'll have much time for that and I imagine visits to pubs will be prioritised...

I'm excited for her but also anxious and my DS who is in Y12 is not looking forward to being the focus of our attention. He's had a tough time recently and I know will miss her despite the fact they constantly bicker.

DD2 (16) has spent the afternoon 'crying at tictocs of sisters going away to uni' which has very much surprised me! I thought she'd only miss her wardrobe. (She says it's because of her period)

DD1 is a bit worried that she's not anxious enough, compared to her friends. She's very ready to go and I'm pleased she's happy. Of course I'll cry a bit though. Think she'd be a bit put out if I didn't as I'm known to cry at adverts...

sad to read all your stories but it’s good to know we’re not alone.

DD2 (14) had a meltdown today about other things. Just remembered that she’ll be so sad to see big sister go off. Got to stay strong for her

Sending hugs and commiserations

I think we're all feeling a little more settled this week! Lots of exciting events happening during Orientation week - we've probably had more contact in the last few days from DD than probably in the last month of her actually living here! But happy, sharing news etc

We are on our way. Nervous and excited. Good luck to everyone else with DC moving in this weekend. We had leaving on a Jet Plane and slipping through my fingers playing in the car to make us all cry.

Oh my I think that would make me cry buckets and my daughter 'cringe'. (She doesn't like any show of emotion other than her flinging stuff in frustration it seems. 😂) Not sure what we'll listen to. I'm tempted to put some 90s bangers on to remind me of when I was heading up the M6 to uni! We've got until the 19th and her room needs sorting before then...I'm not going to hold my breath!

Dd is in charge of the playlist for our drive tomorrow, but she'd better not do that to me!

She's meant to be all packed up but there are random piles all over the place. It will be last-minute flinging things into bin bags.