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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

A level results disaster

324 replies

LadySadMum · Yesterday 14:15

DS was predicted CDD which was low and based on not doing much work in year 12. However he really started working much better in year 13 and seemed to be getting better marks in his results for mocks and class tests.

So we were hopeful that he would get better than the predicted grades. He seemed happy after each exam, completed all the questions. There were a few questions that he said were hard but this is normal, right?

Anyway he got CEU. Obviously he missed his firm and insurance but it’s not even enough for any foundation courses.

The C is fine and the E was in his worst subject so can understand that. But the U is unexpected and I feel it can’t be right as he wasn’t that bad at it!

We’ve asked for a review to make sure all the questions were marked correctly and if it changes to an E that would get him onto a foundation degree. We made a mistake as we didn’t ask for it at the time (we were shocked and didnt think to ask) and by the time we contacted the school again they had left.

The exam officer is not available until next Wednesday now so it’s an agonising wait.

The worst thing is we’ve had to lie to everyone that everything is OK and he’s been accepted into uni. His grandad is ill and would be devastated if we said he failed. We also don’t want to navigate all their questions and worries until we’ve worked out the next steps ourselves.

So now we’re getting congratulation messages from all the family and his uncle is also visiting later today, probably with a present. It’s all so so awful.

OP posts:
lordbaddingham · Yesterday 16:12

LadySadMum · Yesterday 15:59

You might think so but you don’t know our family.

DH’s side of the family will make him feel like crap. Even though they do care, they place an extremely high value on education. There would be a lot of handwringing and crying if we told them he failed. They would be constantly asking ‘what will happen now?’. Honestly, we don’t have a supportive family, they will make everything 100% worse. I honestly think his granddad would have a heart attack after this news - not joking at all.

There is a big difference in choosing not to go to uni and not getting good enough grades. If he finds work instead then we can say he chose that in order to avoid debt.

My DS knows and agreed with the reasons for lying right now. Our priority is to get him sorted first and the best way to fob them off was by saying ‘all fine, got into chosen uni’.

This is their problem though and it seems to have been made into your son's problem. Your husband's family will need to learn to wind their necks in and be proud of him for who he is. There is now so much pressure on him.

LadySadMum · Yesterday 16:13

CariadDarling · Yesterday 16:10

OP are you from an Asian background?

Yes, does this explain why we cannot say he failed. I think people really don’t get how big a thing this is. Education is literally everything in my culture

OP posts:
Phewmcgrew · Yesterday 16:15

My boyfriend at A-level got shit grades, I think his best was a D and he go a U as well. He redid the year and got really good grades second time around that got him into the course he wanted at Uni. He said it just all went into his head the second time around.

His older brother got terrible A-levels but got into Uni through clearing and went onto fail his degree.

I am a firm believer that it’s better to retake the A-levels. Firstly, depending on degree subject, you do actually have to know the stuff in your a’levels to help you get on at Uni. You start at a disadvantage you may not recover from if you don’t. Secondly, failing is a good life lesson. If you major to squeeze through on clearing you haven’t really learnt the lesson that not working hard has consequences.

LadySadMum · Yesterday 16:16

I don’t think retakes will be suitable for him, he already didn’t like his other 2 subjects so can’t see him doing better in them now.

OP posts:
Helpwithdivorce · Yesterday 16:16

Honestly I would steer well away from uni. He is not academic. You clearly cannot afford for him to go if he’s looking to commute from home to save money. Many go for the ‘experience’ which he won’t get living at home.

Just find an apprenticeship in IT or cybersecurity and work his way up that way. Uni is not the path for him, I would be discouraging anyone from going to uni unless there was no other path in to their chosen career. Who wants to come out with £60k or more of debt before their life has even begun?

concertinacornflake · Yesterday 16:16

LadySadMum · Yesterday 15:59

You might think so but you don’t know our family.

DH’s side of the family will make him feel like crap. Even though they do care, they place an extremely high value on education. There would be a lot of handwringing and crying if we told them he failed. They would be constantly asking ‘what will happen now?’. Honestly, we don’t have a supportive family, they will make everything 100% worse. I honestly think his granddad would have a heart attack after this news - not joking at all.

There is a big difference in choosing not to go to uni and not getting good enough grades. If he finds work instead then we can say he chose that in order to avoid debt.

My DS knows and agreed with the reasons for lying right now. Our priority is to get him sorted first and the best way to fob them off was by saying ‘all fine, got into chosen uni’.

I can't believe this level of toxicity is being accommodated by you, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.

maudelovesharold · Yesterday 16:18

What happens if anyone asks what specific grades he got for certain subjects? It can become a very tangled web… Can’t you say to Grandad and other relatives, that you don’t know the exact grades yet, as you’re going to try and get a re-mark done?

CariadDarling · Yesterday 16:19

LadySadMum · Yesterday 16:13

Yes, does this explain why we cannot say he failed. I think people really don’t get how big a thing this is. Education is literally everything in my culture

I understand the pressure you are under but I wish you’d had the courage to stand up and tell the truth.

Excellentsausages · Yesterday 16:22

But CEU is enough for some foundation courses! Four years instead of 3, with the first year a more supportive catch up type of year.

WannaSweetie · Yesterday 16:22

There are other ways to achieve the end result rather than straight into a degree, are there any local colleges or even Unis offering HNDs, sometimes the entry requirement is lower. Have seen students do a 2 year HND & then into 3rd year of a degree course.

Rainbowstripes · Yesterday 16:23

If it helps at all, I failed my first year of A levels (AS levels as this was a few years ago) and was kicked out of my (very academic) sixth form. While it felt devastating at the time I ended up going to college, getting on to the same degree I'd wanted to do a year later and graduated with a first class degree.
I'm also now very happy with my own successful business that's nothing to do with my degree and I could have done with no qualifications whatsoever although I enjoyed my course and did work in the industry for a while.

I agree that the worst thing in all of this is the lying - my extended family were similar but I handled it because I knew at least my immediate family still supported me.

RubyPowderPuff · Yesterday 16:23

@LadySadMum I agree with others, the lying is wrong. If family is as upset as you describe, I think the hands wringing will be worse when they find out. And they will, especially if he does an foundation course.

I'd encourage him to look at his grades and ask himself what went wrong. Did he misinterpret the questions or did he just not have the basics to answer the questions. Was he unwell, excessively nervous or just indifferent? Maybe he's not academic and peaked at GCSE.

Based on the answers to these questions, he needs to work out if university is the right route for him. There will be lots of self directed study, written exams and deadlines to keep. University can be challenging if there is a luck of discipline or academic ability.

titchy · Yesterday 16:24

Lancashire has Computer Science FY places for 48 points, as do Greater Manchester and Salford.

If he has to do a FY he’ll be graduating with £40k of fee debt regardless. An extra £15k for maintenance won’t make any difference to what he pays back so maybe reconsider the living at home to save money because it may well not save him a penny and be a wasted opportunity.

Rose213 · Yesterday 16:25

Fatsnowflake · Yesterday 14:17

I will join you. DD was predicted 4 A* and got an Oxford offer. She got AABB. She's got into York but she's obviously very upset. We have gone up 3 marks on two Politics papers after a remark which leaves her 1 mark off an A so I've put the third paper in for a review as well.

Yeah because that's the same lol

Fatsnowflake · Yesterday 16:26

Rose213 · Yesterday 16:25

Yeah because that's the same lol

No it's not the same. But still upsetting in a different way.

myheadsjustmush · Yesterday 16:27

I am so sorry you don't have a support - any family worth their salt would be totally understanding of the situation, and of how hard your DS tried in his exams.

There are some really good suggestions already. My eldest took a years break after her A levels. Whilst she still continued to work part time, picking up extra hours if needed, the year away from the academic side of things really did give her some much needed breathing space.

Maybe that is something to consider?

Excellentsausages · Yesterday 16:28

I'm sure you could find alternatives, that was just a quick look, I'd imagine there would be quite a few.

Rose213 · Yesterday 16:28

Fatsnowflake · Yesterday 16:26

No it's not the same. But still upsetting in a different way.

I know. Sorry for the sarcasm. Congrats to your daughter though. May not be quite what you all wanted but still a great achievement.

Fatsnowflake · Yesterday 16:29

Rose213 · Yesterday 16:28

I know. Sorry for the sarcasm. Congrats to your daughter though. May not be quite what you all wanted but still a great achievement.

Thank you. I did think after I posted that it is a different situation and I probably need to get a bit of perspective!

Sorry OP I don't mean to hijack.

BakersKitchen · Yesterday 16:34

Another one saying you are crazy to have lied. You could have just said “DS is working out his options as didn’t quite do as well as he hoped - well let you know what his plans are when we’ve had time to think things through”.

ScaryM0nster · Yesterday 16:34

I mean this kindly - but with those grades it really is worth reconsidering university level education at this point. Theres a lot of study and exam technique missing with grades like that and it would suggest that a different style of education or training may be a better fit.

University lets you focus on a single subject, but still broken down into different modules. It also expects you to manage your own study. If you haven’t got self direction vaguely sorted it’s not going to work.

So while the remark is one angle, other routes are definitely worth focussing on.

Sassylovesbooks · Yesterday 16:34

You should have never lied to your extended family. The truth will come out, and it's going to make it look as if you're ashamed of your son. You definitely can't be accepting 'congratulations' presents!

You need to see if there are any courses that will take your son. Is there a possibility of resits?

Goodluckanddontfitup · Yesterday 16:35

I am wondering if the pressure this boy has been put under to achieve has contributed here. A-levels, and degrees are not the be all and end all and it’s sad that he must feel that his results are so embarrassing his family have to be lied to about it. I am reading a lot of ‘we’ here - and while it’s good to help and be supportive, the next steps and future should be what he wants, not what you are any of the family think is right, this is his life nobody else’s, the family seem a bit too over invested to me