How often you speak with your kids after they have gone to university.

[Theyaregoingtomakeit]

DD has declared she only wants to speak with us once a month or maybe just on the holiday once she goes to uni. She also said she doesn’t want to do more holidays with us.

She took a gap year and is so ready to go and live alone. Not a huge amount of friends so I think she is ready for more fun too. She is very independent.

I told her as long as she is happy, healthy, safe and sourrounded it by nice people, that is all I care.

We have a good relationship, family life and done lots of holidays together; perhaps too many for her.

Approx once a week for a FaceTime and then several texts during the week. I would find once a month or longer to be too long a stretch.

Facetime about once a week and then lots of whatsapp messages inbetween.

I’m more laid back now than 2 years ago when DS started. He’s not always great at replying to messages quickly, but then we’ll have a flurry of messages in one go.

I wonder if your DD will still feel the same way once she’s there…

A phone call at least once a week, usually Sunday, then occasional messages/calls at other times.

Depends! My DD nearly daily, but she is at uni overseas so we see her v infrequently. ( not since Xmas and she will be home end June)
My DS's are not great at keeping in touch. I would say once every 2 weeks on the phone, but it can be less or more than that. Sometimes they reply to messages, but are not great at it.
However they love us to visit and will still come away with us, both coming to the Lakes for the Bank Holiday weekend.
When I was at uni I didnt call my parents (we had no phone in the house!) I did write tho!!!

A couple of times a week (and then also if they want something..)

DS is just coming to the end of his 2nd year.

Last year we spoke every couple of weeks (max) - normally initiated by me.
This year he's called at least twice a week, sometimes more. He's well settled and very happy, so I'm just going with whatever he wants. Obviously I'm always delighted to chat to him!

Lots of WhatsApp during the week. Phone call every couple of weeks with ds.

Every evening Facetime before she goes to sleep, and sometimes a few brief times during the day. We WhatsApp message pretty frequently too. She is doing a Masters but this has been the pattern all through.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong, it’s whatever works for your individual personalities and conversational style. If everyone is happy then there is no problem, whatever you work out.

DD requests cat pics every day, and calls while her food is cooking or she's waiting for the bus. I have to prod DS for proof of life - unless he's lost something.

I have 3 away at uni. I speak to all of them most days. I leave them to call me, mostly as I don’t want to call when it’s inconvenient. The girls call when they’re walking to the supermarket, or their job. My son has a reasonable walk from the library to his digs, so he’ll call then.

Not uni but my son joined the army at 19. Get a text every six weeks ish.

WhatsApp to family group daily, just joining in with whatever silliness, and FaceTime once a week.

Mine messages the family group probably weekly ish. Messages me separately less often lol.

I WhatsApp photos of the cats once a day. It's a super low key way of checking everyone is still alive without anyone feeling suffocated 😁 apart from that we just chat when we have something to say, can be every day or every couple of weeks.

I feel ok with a weekly call, I do struggle if it’s less than that. Any messaging in between?

Every two or three weeks on our family group chat.
i will pm them only about something specific, they usually reply in a day or two.

both dds we got a couple of interactions most weeks, one or two to dh but I would have more of a text conversation with them plus they would also send us photos of food they’d made and were proud of 😂

Generally FT /call daily and message to say morning.

Most days. DD has always been independent so didn't have to prove herself.

We are largely guided by DD. She was very anxious and shy, and term one was really hard for her (i think thats pretty common for first year students anyway)
So probably face timed once or twice a week to begin with and we visited probably every 2-3 weeks. Me and her WhatsApped each other every day.
Now at the end of second year we probably facetime every 2-3 weeks and she hasn't decided when she's coming home, she finished a couple of weeks ago! We still whatsapp just about every day.

Calls to both DD and DS about weekly. And daily swapping texts with DD, who likes to get regular pictures of the guinea pigs, and just to chat. DS does text too, when there is something to communicate, not just to chat / pass the time. Seems about right.

Speak daily with mine. Maybe she might change her mind when she gets there- while she is craving the independence of uni the reality of uni life isnt always what is sold to them!

My mum always messaged me daily. My partner's son went for weeks without replying to messages from us. I think there's a big difference generally between girls and boys!

Text virtually every day sometimes several times, speak twice a week roughly and see her every three to four weeks at a guess.
what has surprised me is that she also has text conversations with her dad and brother at least a couple of times a week which I’m delighted about (barely spoke to mum and certainly not to brothers when I went)
DS heads off this autumn, I expect him to contact less but will be hoping for every couple of days by text

DD only spoke if it was urgent (both agreed as DD hated talking on the phone)otherwise texts and whatsapp regularly- 2 or 3 times a day on average.
DS- I send a text every 3 or 4 days checking he is alive! He replies eventually.😂