Students living at home - maybe an expected but saddening trend

[mids2019]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g09p93m29o

Anecdotally this is really becoming a thing and due to costs students are eschewing the whole student experience of living away from home. As well as cost savings I think there is a perhaps savvy realisation that being thrown into a house or hall with strangers is maybe a step too far from an exploratory point of view. No one wants to be quiet one in a party flat or corridor for instance. In addition I think parents of girls fully realise some of the dangers of being away from home for an extended period perhaps for the first time combined with plenty of access to drugs and alcohol is not perhaps the safest.

However could the prospect of university just being an extension of school from a living point of view limit social mobility with students preferring a home town university to one some distance away with a better reputation?.Does work need to be done (and ideally in some fantasy world funded)_to ensure working class kids are not being put off well regarded unis because of distance?

I lived at home and travelled 2 hours each way! No biggy i listened to music or slept on the bus (this was 20 years ago too so didn’t even have access to all the downloadable tv shows and films like now ) if id had that it would have been actual bliss 😂😂😂

I had a part time job to fund my nights out and partying - but lived rent free and had free food at my parents and a lovely cos room to come home to.

came out with zero debt (went to uni in Ireland so we had no big costs at the time)

Are other countries’ universities more equal, offer identical courses, are courses more limited, need similar grades?

Are the differences in English universities as supposedly shown by league tables really that marked?

DH is from a city where the uni was 5 minutes from his parents. Neither him or any of his friends went away or moved out. A few of them got a house in the 2nd year and then just moved out. They got full grants so instead they lived well and went on nice holidays in the summer.
That wouldn’t have worked for me. I wouldn’t go to my local uni or stay at home. I find halls horrific though. I went back to do a masters and was in halls again and it was so much nice as we were all 22.

DD is ASD and I worried. She doesn’t want to go to our local uni for good reason, we don’t have anywhere else commutable. I suspect she’ll stay during the week and come home weekends. I’d rather she stayed and did a masters and went away properly then.

@mids2019 that’s a really good point. Both of my DC have really good friends, their sixth form group is really tight knit and several of them are at local unis.

One of the girls in DS’s friend group was not invited to join her halls housemates in a flat share in year two, learned that the other five were viewing properties and hadn’t invited her along. She eventually decided to move home and commute so all was well but she was really upset and I remember thinking how difficult these things can be and glad she worked it out. Having a close group of sixth form friends lessened the blow, the fact that at least six of them are around/commuting helped massively.

I made a lot of lifelong friends living at uni so sad that many won't be having that immersive experience. I do think it's a useful part of growing up.

However... Accommodation is SO expensive now. A lot is geared to an international student market who can afford more and it's full of fancy amenities, and everything is ensuite. I don't feel that's at all needed, and it would be better to have it more basic and cheaper. But the only way to make building this accommodation profitable is often to market it to those who can afford the really high rents, the cost of land and development is much much higher than it used to be.

In some places there's a lack of accommodation still, and in others there's too much and some of it is empty. A lot of landlords of the cheaper student houses are expected to sell up in the near future too.

If it's necessary for a student to get a time consuming job in order to fund their accomodation, maybe it's a better option to live at home if possible and spend that time studying or socialising. But it doubles down on the advantage of your family living close to London or a major university city. Same for later internships and first jobs... Bad news for young people with a family home further away.

DS is ok since he has a friend from home at the same university and the friend has a couple of people in his flat who are sociable and so they've formed a four but it really shows that it is luck of the draw. My Friend's DS went to warwick and was the only home student in his flat, Every other student was international and whilst perfectly polite they stayed in their rooms with doors shut and didn't mix. He was miserable for three weeks and then gave himself a kick up the bum and went out and joined loads of clubs and eventually settled but was never really "happy" as such.

The other thing that doesn't help is the crazy scramble for year 2 accommodation before christmas of the first year. It's madness and put massive pressure on them and makes those who don't have a close group of friends by then feel very isolated.

DS is not nearly as sociable but had a nice flat in the first year but he told DS2 at christmas that his expectations were skewed. He said even in sociable flats he wouldn't expect people to just be hanging out unless it's arranged pre's or something (all done via phones even though they live in the same flat!). He said by the end of the year he'd only ever been in two other people's rooms.

In my day we all had our doors open and wandered in and out of each others rooms constantly. Only one person on our corridor had a tv and we'd all gather round to watch neighbours at lunchtime.

Yes I agree it's crazy they need to know a month or so in who they want to share with the next year. That's not enough time!

My son is at college. He has a 3 hour round bus trip plus a good walk to get to college. We just couldn't afford the accommodation (£1200 a month). Yes its a haul but having him home means its easier financially

Are the differences in English universities as supposedly shown by league tables really that marked?

No they are really not. The rankings are all different but they are completely skewed and all measure slightly different things.

Some universities actually incentivise their students to respond positively to the student surveys which then influences the ranking.

Outside of Oxford, Cambridge and possibly LSE all others in the top 20 are broadly similar at undergraduate level. Outside of the top 25 there is far more variation. Although you're not supposed to say it - very broadly the universities that were always universities are better than those which were formerly polytechnics or FE colleges. There are a few exceptions but not many at all.

DS is not nearly as sociable but had a nice flat in the first year but he told DS2 at christmas that his expectations were skewed. He said even in sociable flats he wouldn't expect people to just be hanging out unless it's arranged pre's or something (all done via phones even though they live in the same flat!). He said by the end of the year he'd only ever been in two other people's rooms.

DS1 is not nearly as sociable as DS2. Missed the editing window!

I think it's good that people don't feel they have to go away to uni. It was quite rare to commute in the 80s when I was that age. Conversely, it was relatively unusual to leave home until you were in your twenties if you hadn't gone to uni. I don't remember ever thinking that contemporaries who started work at 18 and left home when they got married were less grown up or independent. At 18 they seemed more grown up

I can't believe some of the views here - I've found it quite shocking.
Uni isn't for drinking and partying! Yes some do that a lot but it's the minority now, especially with the trend amongst Gen Z to prioritise their health, plus lots of international students who dont have pub culture. Crazy to say 'my DC isn't going because they don't drink!

'Halls aren't safe .... Women are at risk' Honestly?? Our young women need to learn to keep themselves safe, while we keep up the fight against VAWG, not just opt out of HE or living away from home!

Uni gives so much beyond education and pubs/clubs.
You join societies, you meet people from completely different backgrounds, you develop and change in ways you can't imagine. You build your network for future career.

Studying online is absolutely not the same. That's why there were so many complaints during lockdowns. My DCs course is v strict about attendance in person, often dont share lectures online, and absolutely don't want you sitting at home for it. My DC also spend lots of time studying in the library with their peers.

We live very rurally and I can understand if someone already lived in a big city, there would be less value added by moving to another one. But, we have a major problem with young people now not launching. They are adults at 18 and uni is a perfect way for them to move out whilst keeping the family home to go back to, with support mechanisms in place (student welfare etc) and with lots of others all going through the same thing. Far harder to do it alone at eg 21.

Dh lived at home - he’s 45 now. He’s an introvert and went to uni to study rather than party. By contrast dd1 will move into halls.

I stayed hime and commuted to uni ' about an hour away. I had absolutely zero interest in moving away - im not into partying, couldn't afford to move and I had a pretty decent weekend job near my home and had a long term boyfriend (who I have now been married to for 20 years!). I dont think i would have gone to uni if id had go move away for it. I wasn't ready to.

Certainly hasn't impacted my life negat7vely. Im now a fully functioning adult with my own fsmily. My uni experience was great - I made some good friends who I am still very good friends with.

Im surprised on the views too. Not the cost/benefit analysis as for many people a local university makes great sense and I think its good more people do it.

Im surprised the move away is seen as a only for a party.

People do move for the actual course offered, the specific research the university is doing, a specific employer link or other things (performance center for a sport springs to mind).

but not everyone goes to uni
and what is this failure to launch
the issue is surely financial?
and certainly parents can help their offspring to launch without all becoming burdened financially

Student accommodation is big business now and rents in uni towns (for housing which isn't always particularly nice) aren't worth what is being charged. At some point there was bound to be some push back on that.

The uni experience has also changed - fewer people are going there to party now. It just costs too much money to waste time. The reality is that a degree doesn't guarantee a good job, so if kids are going to all the expense, they want to work and get the best they can out of it. So they are probably making the sensible decision to live at home, save money and not risk being in an overpriced house share with strangers.

There's plenty of time to live independently - if you have a nice family and home in a town where you can get a good education, why not use that to your advantage?

Uni gives so much beyond education and pubs/clubs.
You join societies, you meet people from completely different backgrounds, you develop and change in ways you can't imagine. You build your network for future career.

Totally agree. I am shocked at the number of "not into drinking or clubbing so there was no point" comments - that's so not the only reason to live away from home!

I do understand that for some it may not be financially feasible or desirable but it's really not all about drinking and partying

Is it? Where did you go?

I was in Manchester in mid 80’s. It was crazy. Clubs, pubs, student unions packed all the time. Parties every night. Madchester.

I mean l wasn’t partying on my own. Everyone did.

@Piggywaspushed - my DD had a 10 minute walk to bus, half hour bus journey to the station, (We did usually give her a lift to station though as it fitted in with my commute, her bothers close to ride their bikes to the station) 15 minute train journey, 25 minute walk to college when she was 16/17. Lots of kids doing a similar journey in reverse to get to schools in this town! From the age of 11 she had a ten minute walk, hour long bus ride. Inner city college and state school (although admittedly not the closest state school). DDs uni course is actually near the station, and if we lived near the station at this end I would have encouraged commuting, but the cost of the weekly train ticket and occasional uber at this end is almost as much as her student accommodation inc bills, so I’m not sure it would have been worth it (she missed a lot of college due to the train strikes and didn’t want to miss university for the same reason, so was adamant she wouldn’t commute).

If there are young parents reading this, I advise you to think about saving for the university years if you can (I hear your hollow laugh) , especially if you might have two at university at the same time.

DS certainly not a party animal but went away to university, partly due to course he wanted to do and partly for the chance to be independent. In his uni town there are quite a few options now for studio flats, with a range of prices and facilities so you don’t have to live in shared houses etc

Ds1 has just submitted his application. He's thrown a few other random Uni's on at my insistence (just in case) - but he only visited our local Uni and is completely adamant he wants to go there and live at home.

The 'commute' he'll have to Uni is a 15 minute walk followed by a 15 minute, £1 bus ride (special U21 rate). A tenner a week will be his entire travel cost. We won't take any money from him - as long as our dc are in full time study, they can live and eat for free at home which he's aware of.

He's done the maths and is confident he can pay his travel/study/social life costs from his part time job. We're in Wales so he'll get over £10k a year in maintenance loan/grant regardless of household income (mainly loan for him but he's unconcerned about repayments as it's more like a tax which he's fine with).

He intends to take the max maintenance, invest his full payment each term, and then finish Uni with circa £35k in the bank. He's doing a lot of research right now into stocks and bonds and whatnot. Unsurprisingly, he's doing a degree in Finance 😂

Obviously it's totally not in the spirit of what maintenance loans are for but I can't fault his logic!

I think partying was much more a thing when you got grants.

It has always been different in other countries though, much more of a culture of going to university near home, and students still manage to grow up and move out eventually.

The problem with "young people not launching" is not because of university or whether they live away, it's because secondary schools are not fit for purpose and neither is further education, and at the same time entry level jobs are being decimated due to AI.