Phone tracking while at university

[Fenimore]

Astonished that so many parents I know are tracking their kids by phone. These are 18/19 year olds. I guess the young people don’t mind or they’d turn off the tracking. I just don’t think it’s healthy.

One parent I know is checking every day to see if their son is at lectures as well as what time he’s home from a night out.

i don’t track DD. One, she really wouldn’t like it and two, I think it would be stressful as well as being an invasion of privacy.

Does anyone do this?

Just thinking about my previous post about the accidental tragic death of a fresher student (basically froze after passing out some time in the night).

Maybe there could be a safety App developed that doesn’t track everything due to the ethics of autonomy, invasion of privacy and protecting independence. But how about an App that kicks in with unusual activity or inactivity? For example if it detected being outside in exactly the same spot for a long time (like with the drunk fresher who passed out unnoticed by friends). Or if was moved outside a normal expected perimeter. Just an idea.

She’s 26 and you are still tracking her?! Let her be a grown up and live her own life

Seriously what gave you that impression? Please don’t tell me the official stats.

I would never, ever track anyone, it’s an invasion of privacy and probably lack of trust too.
I do wonder if those young adults who consent to their mum tracking them do so because it’s not worth the aggro to say no.
I love my sons to bits but I’ve never been a helicopter parent and their dad & I let them get on with life. They know we’re there for them if need be.

It's good to know our 18 year olds care as it doesn't feel like it sometimes 🤣

Because if she wants help from us, she can look up where we are. And when she’s in hospital, I’ve a good chance of finding her.

What if she's met someone and is at their accommodation?

Will you ring her to check?

There are loads of cases where tracking could have helped in emergencies. It’s like an insurance policy except you are paying with a lack of privacy rather than money.

Annoying to pay, but you’d be very relieved if you needed it.

Crime is actually significantly lower now than in 1990! https://policinginsight.com/feature/analysis/most-crime-has-fallen-by-90-in-30-years-so-why-does-the-public-think-its-increased/

And by the way, I know the find my iPhone or Google equivalent for my dh, dc, step dc and my parents for actual emergencies, if my dh was 2 hours late home from a motorcycle ride I can look, and likewise he could for me but I don’t because that is just an emergency situation or mostly if phone was stolen!

This argument has been done to death. If everyone involved is ok with it there is no problem. Tracking can be turned off in a second.

This 💯

@SnowFrogJelly how am I preventing her from being a grown up or living her own life? I'm tracking the location of her mobile phone on an app with her full permission, not making her use a booster seat in the car or wear a bib to eat.

We didn't, but then dd went travelling in her first summer and she was followed and chased by a group of men in a town in France, she had to run and hide, become lost and her phone was dying, so I needed to arrange her Uber but she didn't know her exact location.

The first Uber couldn't find her and cancelled, then with her phone on 1% she tried telling me more accurately where she was, and we just hoped the Uber driver would find her. I contacted him and said I'd tip triple the fare just please find her and pick her up.
I could see him driving up and down round little back streets for ages, then eventually the car seemed to pause so I was hoping he'd found her.
I watched his car on the map driving towards her accommodation but didn't sit down and breathe normally until she rang to say she was in the flat and phone on charge.

So yeah, from then on she gave us access to her location, making me promise to only use it in emergencies and not sit there tracking her all day!

Sometimes the young person doesn't know they're being tracked, based on what parents have said on the Facebook group for dd's uni.
A mum asked if people wanted to set up a parent WhatsApp group for her dc's halls. I wouldn't want that either. I was imagining someone saying "My daughter said your son didn't wipe up after himself in the kitchen. Could you have a word?" It seems intrusive on young people's privacy and helicoptery.

She said she's happy to know when she's arrived home...
But what's the difference between having the access and using it? It's the same thing really. If you don't use it, why have the access?

My children whilst at Uni were before phone trackers were a thing. But we’d never have done that.

It’d give us more cause to worry and not done anything to prevent those, thankfully, rare stranger/random attacks.

Better to put your efforts into giving them risk awareness well before they go.

We've got an itag on our cat - but it’s not proved brilliant. He goes to quiet places, well away from others who are carrying a phone that could transmit its position. You just know he’s not in the house.

We did track my Mum’s movements around her house/area as her dementia was causing worrying wandering, behaviours and falls. She was well out of any meaningful discussions and we thought the protection offered outweighed the loss of privacy. (Safely in care now)

But she was 90+ not an 18 year old

Ok then. Which stats do you prefer?

Don't you feel that that illustrates the problem? Your in-laws would previously have been happily oblivious to the fact that that your husband was at a hospital, but because of the tracker they were straight into panic mode. It created totally unnecessary worry.

But how does tracking them stop those things happening?

No half as scary as having your bloody parents tracking you as an adult.

Sorry still think its creeepy and controlling. For all the parents (and it seems to be mainly Mum's). What if your child's new partner wanted to track them? Would you think that would be OK? Or is it just OK for you to do it? What if they suggested that now that they were tracking your child no need for you to track?

I track my daughter. She also doesn’t mind & totally gets that I’m protecting her. If anything was off.. or god forbid happened I know right where to go, to save her.

Anyone else imagining @omgno222arriving panting at her daughter's side every time she stops moving for a bit or her battery dies?

How does tracking prevent crime happening to them?

There is no safety aspect to tracking it‘s just people that have been believing the line that we are at war/under siege/under threat all the time. Being afraid serves a purpose.
I do not track my kids and find it very very odd to do so.