Page 10 | Phone tracking while at university

Fenimore · 2025-10-09T04:04:32+00:00

Astonished that so many parents I know are tracking their kids by phone. These are 18/19 year olds. I guess the young people don’t mind or they’d turn off the tracking. I just don’t think it’s healthy. One parent I know is checking every day to see if their son is at lectures as well as what time he’s home from a night out. i don’t track DD. One, she really wouldn’t like it and two, I think it would be stressful as well as being an invasion of privacy. Does anyone do this?

UrsulaBelle · 09/10/2025 09:47

I have 3 DSes. I don't track the 23 yo or the 28 yo but the 26 yo has ASD and I do track him. He knows this and is fine with it, but I really would prefer not to need to.

Shr3dding · 09/10/2025 09:48

Invinoveritaz · 09/10/2025 09:10

what a huge jump/ hysterical over- reaction. Both my adult DC have had it since their teenage years. They are both emotionally mature and hold down very responsible jobs where they have to make big decisions ( one of them is a Dr in A&E). I hardly think having an app that allows family to track you ( if you want them to) is depriving people of executive function and decision making capabilities!

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But it might contribute to a lack of resilience or ability to problem solve if theybknow that someone is always there to swoop in and save them

I'm sure you're not suggesting that your two children are indicative of global population level trends/experiences are you?

PropertyD · 09/10/2025 09:48

omgno222 · 09/10/2025 05:40

Do you know how many innocent 18/19 year old have been attacked, stabbed, r*ped? Do you know how many have not made it home? We don’t live in 1990 anymore. We live in 2025 and it’s a very scary world. Remember the 2 uni students that got stabbed on way home??

my point is.. I track my daughter. She also doesn’t mind & totally gets that I’m protecting her. If anything was off.. or god forbid happened I know right where to go, to save her. We’re so close. Very very close.

for you to be “astonished” at anyone of uni age tracking their kids I think your pretty astonishing. Strange person.

Sorry, this sounds creepy.

Nanny0gg · 09/10/2025 09:48

omgno222 · 09/10/2025 05:40

Do you know how many innocent 18/19 year old have been attacked, stabbed, r*ped? Do you know how many have not made it home? We don’t live in 1990 anymore. We live in 2025 and it’s a very scary world. Remember the 2 uni students that got stabbed on way home??

my point is.. I track my daughter. She also doesn’t mind & totally gets that I’m protecting her. If anything was off.. or god forbid happened I know right where to go, to save her. We’re so close. Very very close.

for you to be “astonished” at anyone of uni age tracking their kids I think your pretty astonishing. Strange person.

Not at all

I think it's strange that teenagers aren't allowed independence

They're miles away. What can you do? Phone the police every time you're worried?

At what age will you stop?

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 09/10/2025 09:49

I track my 26 year old DD, who lives 80 miles away, on Life360. She's happy to be tracked and I'm happy to know when she's arrived home etc.

It would only be an invasion of her privacy if she didn't know about it. She can also track me, her dad and her younger brother. We all track each other - though in practice, it's mostly me checking where everyone else is.

It works for us so I'm not sure why so many people on here get their knickers in such a twist about it. I get that it can be used to control people or be stalky or whatever but we're a pretty normal family unit with nothing to hide from each other and it helps us manage our busy lives. It also helps smooth the edges of mine and DD's anxiety (the parts the Prozac doesn't always reach).

angelcake20 · 09/10/2025 09:50

Like PPs, we can all see each other on FindMy, DH and I included. Student DCs are free to turn it off if they want. We’re not stalking, it’s just handy to know not to ring them if they’re not at home and to know if DH has left work etc. The kids all follow each other on SnapMap so they think it’s normal.

Shr3dding · 09/10/2025 09:50

CatchingtheCat · 09/10/2025 09:45

There were 70,000 rapes reported last year. 700 people died falling down stairs. So you are a hundred times more likely to be raped.

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That is a ridiculous comparison, other than being mathematically accurate (I'm assuming your information sources are accurate) it's completely bonkers

What on earth is your point?

How would a tracker have prevented any of the 70000 rapes?

user1492757084 · 09/10/2025 09:50

It only tracks the phone.
It's useful to help find your phone if you lose it.
I know people who do have a tracker on their young adult child (with consent and all the family track each other) but it's only been used very few times a year; like when kid didn't answer phone for a few days and was expected to catch a flight, and when kid misplaced phone.

Nanny0gg · 09/10/2025 09:50

Fedupsky · 09/10/2025 09:38

This is a rare example but has always stuck in my mind as a sad tragedy, but years ago in the 2000’s a fresher student died on a night out in Exeter. They had drunk a lot and passed out somewhere in the city and tragically died of exposure. I think the body was found the next day (after the night out). So very sad, it happened during that first ‘fresher’s week’ of uni if I remember right.

I’m not advocating for tracking or not tracking but has always stuck in my mind that young people are still vulnerable in many ways and inexperienced about life’s dangers.

Perhaps if a parent had had a tracker they would have seen them stationary in some alley and called for help. Or I guess maybe they would assume they had just dropped or lost their phone somewhere?

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I doubt they'd be watching at 2am though

Toomanywaterbottles · 09/10/2025 09:50

ThatLadyLady · 09/10/2025 08:26

I think that if you truly don’t care where someone is, that shows a lack of love.

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Whoa, that is all kinds of wrong.

PollyBell · 09/10/2025 09:51

CatchingtheCat · 09/10/2025 09:45

There were 70,000 rapes reported last year. 700 people died falling down stairs. So you are a hundred times more likely to be raped.

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How many were stranger rapes?

Digdongdoo · 09/10/2025 09:51

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 09/10/2025 09:49

I track my 26 year old DD, who lives 80 miles away, on Life360. She's happy to be tracked and I'm happy to know when she's arrived home etc.

It would only be an invasion of her privacy if she didn't know about it. She can also track me, her dad and her younger brother. We all track each other - though in practice, it's mostly me checking where everyone else is.

It works for us so I'm not sure why so many people on here get their knickers in such a twist about it. I get that it can be used to control people or be stalky or whatever but we're a pretty normal family unit with nothing to hide from each other and it helps us manage our busy lives. It also helps smooth the edges of mine and DD's anxiety (the parts the Prozac doesn't always reach).

It's not a healthy way to deal with anxiety at all. Why do you need to know what time she gets home from work?

Labelak · 09/10/2025 09:51

Digdongdoo · 09/10/2025 09:40

You say that, but not everyone is as reasonable as you think you are.
Using the example of uni students - which ones are "happy" to be tracked, vs which ones are going along with it so mum doesn't get anxious and stop paying their rent?
How do you know your DS wants to be tracked, vs thinks its better than you being nervous and on his case?

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Because he would just say it.

He would say “I’ll let you track me so you’re not on my case” if that’s what he meant.

We speak plainly.

I am certain that he’s happy being tracked, as am I. in fact, I sent my dd a text yesterday - she didn’t have her car so I was going to pick her up, but not coming from home and it was 5pm rush hour so I sent her a text saying “track me”.

SnowFrogJelly · 09/10/2025 09:51

omgno222 · 09/10/2025 05:40

Do you know how many innocent 18/19 year old have been attacked, stabbed, r*ped? Do you know how many have not made it home? We don’t live in 1990 anymore. We live in 2025 and it’s a very scary world. Remember the 2 uni students that got stabbed on way home??

my point is.. I track my daughter. She also doesn’t mind & totally gets that I’m protecting her. If anything was off.. or god forbid happened I know right where to go, to save her. We’re so close. Very very close.

for you to be “astonished” at anyone of uni age tracking their kids I think your pretty astonishing. Strange person.

Sorry but this is clingy and creepy.. bad things happened in 1990 too but kids need to learn to be independent, look after themselves and not have mummy checking on their every move

Nestingbirds · 09/10/2025 09:52

Softcitrusfruit · 09/10/2025 09:18

Lighten up!

A bit tongue in cheek?

Do you really think I never ask anything at all.

I know I have raised confident young adults who are well equipped to take care of their own lives.

Bizarre response.

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Perhaps you should re read your own post

Sgreenpy · 09/10/2025 09:52

I think tracking people is weird.
Not for me.

Ratafia · 09/10/2025 09:52

ThatLadyLady · 09/10/2025 08:26

I think that if you truly don’t care where someone is, that shows a lack of love.

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That's really quite worrying. When, say, my children were away at university, at any given moment they might be in lectures, at a tutorial, working in their rooms or in the library, out shopping or out for a meal, at a friend's place, at the cinema, whatever. I really didn't feel I have to be able to check up on where they were all the time. Now they work and, similarly, they could be in any one of a number of places, and I still don't need to check on them.

If you are going to claim that means I don't love them, or I don't love them enough, you couldn't be wider of the mark. It means I love them enough to trust them and let them live their lives without feeling I'm looking over their shoulders all the time. Your attitude really sounds quite suffocating.

Digdongdoo · 09/10/2025 09:53

Labelak · 09/10/2025 09:51

Because he would just say it.

He would say “I’ll let you track me so you’re not on my case” if that’s what he meant.

We speak plainly.

I am certain that he’s happy being tracked, as am I. in fact, I sent my dd a text yesterday - she didn’t have her car so I was going to pick her up, but not coming from home and it was 5pm rush hour so I sent her a text saying “track me”.

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Ok, but not everyone is you. And you aren't him, so you can't actually speak for how he really feels.

mamagogo1 · 09/10/2025 09:53

So weird but I found the pushy parents at university open days weird to start with, I did drive my dd1 to a couple of open days and did help with with the sen support side but not the academic stuff and dd2 went to open days with her friends. I’ve never had trackers on their phones and as adults they both appreciate the fact I gave them space

Hoppinggreen · 09/10/2025 09:53

I have never tracked DD without her deliberately sharing her location on WA BUT I actually do!
I discovered that for some reason if I go into Texts (which we never use) her location is shown, I have not set this up and I assume she does not know.
I should probably tell her but I won't, I am not checking up on her it just makes me miss her a bit less and I doubt she would care. If she ever asked I wouldn't lie
I don't generally look at it but I just did now
I am not going to tell her and I don't care what anyone thinks of that

Digdongdoo · 09/10/2025 09:53

SnowFrogJelly · 09/10/2025 09:51

Sorry but this is clingy and creepy.. bad things happened in 1990 too but kids need to learn to be independent, look after themselves and not have mummy checking on their every move

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The UK is safer now than in 1990 anyway. And not because of phone trackers.

Nanny0gg · 09/10/2025 09:54

Labelak · 09/10/2025 08:21

I track my 17yo and 19yo.

Both are driving themselves to school/uni
Both are happy being tracked.
They also track me and DH.
And my mum is on the tracking as well. She can track us all and we can all track her.
Various items are also airtagged - DS and DD have their keys and bags airtagged.

We find it useful.

It’s strange that people find it creepy. There’s nothing creepy about it. It’s practical and functional.

Sharing your location with immediate family is a lot less strange than posting stuff that randoms can see on Facebook, Instagram or whatever IMO.

DS’s friends’ parents also track them at uni.

I couldn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of this, unless they are a member of my family.

Why on earth do you and your husband want your mother knowing where you are?

It's none of her business!!

Poppinjay · 09/10/2025 09:55

Digdongdoo · 09/10/2025 09:51

It's not a healthy way to deal with anxiety at all. Why do you need to know what time she gets home from work?

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What makes you think the poster knows this information?

Having the ability to access the information isn't the same as doing it.

Hermyknee · 09/10/2025 09:55

A factor is that people including students don’t have a home phone anymore. There’s no way of ‘calling in’ to check if people are ok if they are not answering their mobile.

Everyone used to have a flat/home phone. You could remember your home number as you had to dial it.

Nowadays students don’t give their parents their flatmates numbers. They don’t know their parents numbers off by heart so everyone is lost without their mobile.

Everyone is ‘baseless’.

mamagogo1 · 09/10/2025 09:55

@Ratafia

well put. As parents our job is to give our dc the skills to be independent adults not to helicopter over them at 18+ my dc didn’t need to be tracked because there is trust. Suffocating your child isn’t love