URGENT: Options re Suspension / Withdrawal please?

[siliconcover]

Ds has just started Yr1 at a Scottish Uni as a Home Student. Now wk 3 (inc Welcome week which included some talks - unclear if mandatory course ones)

It has become clear he is not coping so far. He has ASN & heart health issues.
He has not really attended lectures from what I can tell & is not eating either.
He is struggling to deal with the Uni academic system. He has not yet applied to SAAS (although I've sat with him it turns out he's not 'pressed the button' yet - frustrating as heck but I think it's indicative of how very ambivalent he is feeling)
He has reached out to Uni Counselling & said he is thinking of coming home.

I went with him to his DSA /support meeting yesterday. It wasn't very supportive.
We were told that, if he leaves now (after 5pm yesterday) he would be liaible for all of Term one fees. This plus his private accomodation would be a very big bill. Told a GP letter re his health (he has POTs & is in recovery from a heart issue) not relevant. Later we were sent an email by same adviser (please see below)

I am so stressed that I'd like someone else to look over it with me in case I misunderstand it (Ds Father not involved & I am not feeling well myself - I have an Angiogram on Weds)

Ds is now home for this weekend (his Birthday) This might prove the decider? I've encouraged him to take it day by day but I don't know if he wants to try to go back and 'give it another few weeks' (he's ASD & settling takes a LONG time).

IF I am reading the email from Uni properly it seems that, as a currently self funding Home student (who would be treated as this if he withdraws before 1st Dec even if he goes ahead & applies to SAAS this weekend ???)

He wouldn't be liaiable for fees if he withdraws before 31st Oct??

OR would it be 3rd October (important as that doesn't give him another 4 weeks to keep trying & also because at the end they say 'date is when we approve suspension/withdrawal not when you ask for it, so 3rd Oct is tight)??

THe Halls are private. I am told that if he withdraws from Study this year & we provide a GP letter they may consider not charging the whole year.
I am not sure if SAAS revoking funding (which he's not yet applied for...) applies to just his Tuition fees or his loan for living costs (he will get a full loan) ???

Sorry for length of post & seeming dopeyness at being worried about reading a probably straightforward email myself but as I say I don't feel well & it'd be good to have a '2nd pair of eyes' on it (usual caveats apply that my not MN issue!)

Info from UNI:

"I have checked your record and can confirm that if you have concerns about continuing your studies because of your health you would have the options of suspend or withdraw.

Self-Funded Students (Taught Courses):

• For UG Scottish (Home) students who join the university for the first time in September 2025 and fully withdraw prior to and including 31st October2025, will not be due any tuition fees.
• All other students, who withdraw/suspend after completing registration for term 1, but prior to and including 3 October 2025, will be liable to pay 10% of the year’s tuition fee.
• Students who register for term 1 and withdraw/suspend after the relevant cut-off date as stated above, but before 6 February 2026, will be liable to pay all term 1 fees.
• Students who withdraw/suspend after they have completed registration for term 2, but prior to and including 6 February 2026, will be liable to pay 10% of the year’s tuition fee.
• Students who withdraw/suspend after 6 February 2026, will be liable to pay all term 2 fees in addition to term 1 modules (if registered for term 1).
• For students who withdraw/suspend prior to and including 5 June 2026, will not incur any fees for term 3 (if studying in term 3), but will still be liable to pay for all term 1 and term 2 modules taken.

SAAS Funded Students (Taught Courses):

• For students who withdraw/suspend on or before 1 December 2025, SAAS will revoke any funding previously approved and the student will be regarded as a self-funding student. Students should refer to the self-funded section above to ascertain what their tuition fee liability will be.
• Students who withdraw/suspend after 1 December 2025, SAAS will still pay funding to the University in respect of tuition fees, but this will count as a full year’s funding for that student.

Withdrawal/Suspend Process
In order to withdraw/suspend, students must contact Student Advisory in the first instance. Students who do not follow the correct withdrawal/suspension process will continue to be classed as a current student and tuition fee liability will continue to accrue until (i) the University takes steps to withdraw them; or (ii) the academic year finishes.
Please note that the tuition fees are based on what modules a student registers for, not on what classes a student has attended. Similarly, the withdrawal date is based on the date that the Advisory team approves the withdrawal/suspension, not on date a student commences the withdrawal process last attended classes.

@TheLivelyViperhe's home for weekend. Good news is he's got 70% so far on 4 pieces of work. Bad news is his Tutor has asked for a formal meeting as they 'thought he had withdrawn' (struggling with POTS so not attending more than 50% of lectures OR tutorials/practicals in IT subject). This 70% is great but he's taking 8 hrs to do a 2 hr task as brain fog (POTS & Depression prob?)

Not able to socialise at all (again due to POTS, his h/r goes up to 150 if he tries to walk quickly so pub or even coffee/games place is out) so he has been able to make no friends.
Still eating via homesupplied batch meals but not washing up (keeping dirty cartons in room). Not managing any laundry or, eg chucking out mouldy bread / fruit in room

He has a prearranged MH appt here Tues & the Tutor one on Thurs at Uni. I'm going to encourage him to attend both & decide then which route seems less damaging for MH.

I'd hoped he'd be able to gain a qualification which would make him more employable (good friend whose Ds just finished this degree at risk Uni said 4th Yr support poor & none of his cohort are even getting as far as Interview). And/or it would increase his independence in a manageable way & so increase his confidence (not really he seems overwhelmed & depressed).
And/or he'd just meet people, make friends & have fun. He's actually really social, funny & interested in the world. POTS is really totally preventing that atm. He's chatted to the people in his flat (not on his course) but no one else.

He's tried amazingly hard but it's just cumulatively wearing him down I think.

Hi again,
That’s poor that the tutor said he thought DS had withdrawn if there has been no email contact to ask how he is. Your DS’s disability record should make clear why he is not there some times and what reasonable adjustments he has and the tutor should have read this. It’s inappropriate unless your DS said to the tutor he was going to withdraw but I doubt that. If the meeting is to see what additional support your DS needs, that is a different matter of course.
I think making the decision on what is best for DS’s mental health sounds sensible. It does sound like he is doing very well given the circumstances and with not very much support from the university but the question is whether it is sustainable. What is DS’s support network like at home - friends and so on? What does he want to do? It just sounds so hard.
Don’t feel obliged to answer all the details on here. The jobs market is tough right now, and I just try not to think about it and just go with DD is doing everything she can. What DC can do is going to be individual and one way or the other they will find their place in the world.

You know, there’s no harm in you emailing back and asking them what specifically applies to your son so it’s there in writing for everyone involved

@siliconcover Hopefully both meetings make the picture of things clearer. He does need to be able to independently cope, putting things in the proper bin and taking that outside, doing laundry, not leaving loudly stuff in his room as all of that is quite unhygienic and he shouldn't be in an environment like that.

How about his flatmates? Does he talk with them? Help them out with a cleaning schedule? Watch flims with them etc?

I agree. Re independence - he will get there. But the POTS is badly affecting his studies. He is quite behind & struggling now. (the other flatmates don't socialise with him no).

That sounds difficult and lonely.
I think whatever he decides, I hope he does realise this is not a question of his intellectual abilities and he has shown a good deal of tenacity to continue to this stage. I hope he gets the support he needs, and you have some support as well. You are carrying a lot as well.

I hope the meeting with the tutor is useful in helping him decide how to proceed. If he does decide to withdraw then make sure you leave enough time with respect to the cut off dates. In my DDs experience (she suspended for a year) it took a few weeks from making the request to the uni approving.