URGENT: Options re Suspension / Withdrawal please?

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Ds has just started Yr1 at a Scottish Uni as a Home Student. Now wk 3 (inc Welcome week which included some talks - unclear if mandatory course ones)

It has become clear he is not coping so far. He has ASN & heart health issues.
He has not really attended lectures from what I can tell & is not eating either.
He is struggling to deal with the Uni academic system. He has not yet applied to SAAS (although I've sat with him it turns out he's not 'pressed the button' yet - frustrating as heck but I think it's indicative of how very ambivalent he is feeling)
He has reached out to Uni Counselling & said he is thinking of coming home.

I went with him to his DSA /support meeting yesterday. It wasn't very supportive.
We were told that, if he leaves now (after 5pm yesterday) he would be liaible for all of Term one fees. This plus his private accomodation would be a very big bill. Told a GP letter re his health (he has POTs & is in recovery from a heart issue) not relevant. Later we were sent an email by same adviser (please see below)

I am so stressed that I'd like someone else to look over it with me in case I misunderstand it (Ds Father not involved & I am not feeling well myself - I have an Angiogram on Weds)

Ds is now home for this weekend (his Birthday) This might prove the decider? I've encouraged him to take it day by day but I don't know if he wants to try to go back and 'give it another few weeks' (he's ASD & settling takes a LONG time).

IF I am reading the email from Uni properly it seems that, as a currently self funding Home student (who would be treated as this if he withdraws before 1st Dec even if he goes ahead & applies to SAAS this weekend ???)

He wouldn't be liaiable for fees if he withdraws before 31st Oct??

OR would it be 3rd October (important as that doesn't give him another 4 weeks to keep trying & also because at the end they say 'date is when we approve suspension/withdrawal not when you ask for it, so 3rd Oct is tight)??

THe Halls are private. I am told that if he withdraws from Study this year & we provide a GP letter they may consider not charging the whole year.
I am not sure if SAAS revoking funding (which he's not yet applied for...) applies to just his Tuition fees or his loan for living costs (he will get a full loan) ???

Sorry for length of post & seeming dopeyness at being worried about reading a probably straightforward email myself but as I say I don't feel well & it'd be good to have a '2nd pair of eyes' on it (usual caveats apply that my not MN issue!)

Info from UNI:

"I have checked your record and can confirm that if you have concerns about continuing your studies because of your health you would have the options of suspend or withdraw.

Self-Funded Students (Taught Courses):

• For UG Scottish (Home) students who join the university for the first time in September 2025 and fully withdraw prior to and including 31st October2025, will not be due any tuition fees.
• All other students, who withdraw/suspend after completing registration for term 1, but prior to and including 3 October 2025, will be liable to pay 10% of the year’s tuition fee.
• Students who register for term 1 and withdraw/suspend after the relevant cut-off date as stated above, but before 6 February 2026, will be liable to pay all term 1 fees.
• Students who withdraw/suspend after they have completed registration for term 2, but prior to and including 6 February 2026, will be liable to pay 10% of the year’s tuition fee.
• Students who withdraw/suspend after 6 February 2026, will be liable to pay all term 2 fees in addition to term 1 modules (if registered for term 1).
• For students who withdraw/suspend prior to and including 5 June 2026, will not incur any fees for term 3 (if studying in term 3), but will still be liable to pay for all term 1 and term 2 modules taken.

SAAS Funded Students (Taught Courses):

• For students who withdraw/suspend on or before 1 December 2025, SAAS will revoke any funding previously approved and the student will be regarded as a self-funding student. Students should refer to the self-funded section above to ascertain what their tuition fee liability will be.
• Students who withdraw/suspend after 1 December 2025, SAAS will still pay funding to the University in respect of tuition fees, but this will count as a full year’s funding for that student.

Withdrawal/Suspend Process
In order to withdraw/suspend, students must contact Student Advisory in the first instance. Students who do not follow the correct withdrawal/suspension process will continue to be classed as a current student and tuition fee liability will continue to accrue until (i) the University takes steps to withdraw them; or (ii) the academic year finishes.
Please note that the tuition fees are based on what modules a student registers for, not on what classes a student has attended. Similarly, the withdrawal date is based on the date that the Advisory team approves the withdrawal/suspension, not on date a student commences the withdrawal process last attended classes.

If he is a Scottish home student then I think point 1 applies and he has until 31st Oct to decide. But it may take them time to approve things so don’t wait to the last minute.

the halls are a different problem and will have different rules.

Agree it looks like 31st applies. However, I’m not sure it would be in his best interest to drag out a decision that long. While I admire his and your determination to try to make this work, the amount of energy you are having to put into supporting him is not sustainable. I suspect the support person realises this , has probably seen similar situations before, and recognises the outcome is likely to be a withdrawal. That is not a reflection on you or your ds, but rather the unfortunate coincidence of asd and his health issues. The stress of his effort may be impacting on his wellbeing such that coping with the demands of uni life is not feasible right now. If he were to withdraw would something like Open University be an option, to keep his interest up and brain ticking over. There are free short courses online which might suit as a taster. Alternatively could he defer his place to next year and you have time to negotiate a better suited room in uni halls?

I would say that he shouldn’t be basing his decision on how much it might cost him. He’s clearly struggling at a very early stage - are things likely to get any better? I would be encouraging him to leave asap.

I'm so sorry to read this. You've tried so hard. We were all hoping it would work out.

If he withdraws before 31st October he won't have used up a year of funding and he can have another go at uni another time.

If he withdraws after that date then the university will look for payment for the year so that will be 1/4 of his funding wasted.

So if he wants to withdraw he has to do it in October with enough time for all the paperwork to be completed by the 31st.

The rules around halls will be specific to his landlord. I hope he can get so.ething back.

And I hope he's feeling ok in himself about (maybe) leaving. It's tough. I hope he doesnt feel he's failed in any way. He was brave to try with everything he's had going on.

@Soontobe60 Yes I agree.
(I was just not sure if he could apply to SAAS for any of the living % of loan if he leaves now as he might, worst case, have a £8.5K private Halls bill to pay)

@LIZS thank you, you make good points. I think he is just 'freezing' when alone in Uni town. His POTS makes attending lectures almost impossible. He is not coping with the mechanics of eating either (ie struggling to manage to heat a ready meal, not wanting to go into the kitchen to make a hot drink even).
I am doing a LOT of scaffolding atm but I cant get him up evey morning or microwave a meal each night (unless I suddenly moved up there & even then he'd need to come out of Halls & into a flat with me so that's not practical)

I think it's probably my fault for some 'wishful thinking' re his readiness. We were waiting on a letter from Consultant giving him the 'all clear' re his heart. The letter arrived, he moved up, but even though his heart seems recovered he clearly still has both PoTS and Anxiety, both of which are affecting him big time.

It's a question of which would be worse for his mental & physical health, staying home now or trying for a few more weeks. It is helpful to know that others are reading it that he has that option if he wants to take it. Deferral seems not to be an option, only withdrawal or Suspension. He might be best to suspend now.

@Randomchat thank you. Yes he's so VERY hard.
I guess if he can't get any money back re his room he would have the option of staying put & joining in with some societies / town life. THere is a good Autism support service in town who might be able to help him be more independent for next year. The healthcare will be better in his Uni town too (although I guess all Uni Counselling etc would stop if he suspends). I suspect he would feel a 'fake' living in Halls if he's not actively studying courses though. I think he'll feel a failure if he comes home (at which point I'll feel guilty for encouraging him to try)

It’s not just coping for a couple of weeks though is it? It’s getting through a long cold Scottish winter, then coping for the next three years. From what you have said my thoughts are that he needs to prioritise his physical and mental health and withdraw from the course. He will then have time to really think about what he wants to do, where he wants to do it and when he will be strong enough to achieve his aims. At the moment it sounds as though there are too many conflicting choices, responsibilities and expectations for him to be able to make rational and reasonable choices.

Hi, I need to go out now but I will come back and respond properly.
One thing to consider with suspension - and here he would need to talk to student advising - is whether he could go back in January and do the rest of the academic year, so a bit of time at home and more time to work on being independent and then still have some credits for this year, and then do the rest of the year one credits next year. And move into year two next year. Basically, how long would he be suspending for and what are the implications of that.

So for each year, I am assuming he needs 120 credits which is the Scottish degree structure.
he goes back in January and does 60 credits.
then another sixty in 2026-27 and then picks up the degree full time again in 2027-28.
Not sure how this would effect funding, these would be questions to ask.

You would need to check the smallprint of accommodation as to whether he can stay if no longer a student. Students are council tax exempt for example , but he may become liable if not enrolled.

What is suspending? I've never come across that. It sounds more uncertain thannwithdeawing or deferring maybe, which might not be a good thing?

Would deferring be a good option if he could start again next year? Then he's not giving up, just postponing a year, and he has a whole year to get ready for starting again? He made his decision in a bit of a rush this time.

Withdrawing means the student loses their place completely or gives it up, rather.
Suspending means that they still have a place. It’s basically a leave of absence.

Ah, suspending doesn't sound like a good choice to me then. Because then you miss a whole term or whatever of work and have to try to catch up? Sounds even more stressful. But I guess uni wouldn't approve it if they didnt think you could catch up?

A difficult choice op. Good luck

Sorry it hasn't worked out. You shouldn't feel a failure. You did so so much to help him settle.

I would expect suspension to be for a year rather than 6 months as in the early years courses built on each other and are not repeated each semester. I can only see negatives to suspending (usually you remain a student so private accommodation might not release him plus usually allowed only one suspension so you don't want yo use it up at the beginning). I don't think my DDs uni allows suspension at the beginning (just deferred entry). I'd be inclined to focus on getting the withdrawal done in time and getting out of the accommodation contract asap to save money. You dont want to use a full years SAAS if you don't need to (has he already used some of it on a false start at Napier)? If Abertay has a partnership with Student Roost then they might help persuade them to release him and you'd only be due 4 weeks rent. I think it could be really miserable for him staying in halls whilst not attending the course (particularly if he's already struggling to leave his room). Plus I can't imagine sustaining the level of help you have given him so far if you are not feeling tip top.

I remember your previous thread and as pp have said I'm sorry this hasn't worked out as hoped. This university sounded like the better option, but he seems clearly not in the zone to be doing this right now. If he's not able to microwave ready meals even, then he's some way off being able to manage life as an independent HE student. On that basis I would go decisively for the withdrawal and minimise losses for now. Many of the problems I see with struggling students stem from them insisting they want to keep trying and not suspend study when they're clearly not in a fit state to study, and taking time out would be better. He sounds like he needs more build up and therapy to be ready to do this.

For @Randomchat or anyone wondering, suspending is the 'stop the clock' option where you take a year off from your course, and then restart at the same point. So eg a second year student could suspend now at the start of the academic year, take a year off and recover/get support / earn money then come back in autumn 2026 and start their second year then. If a student is in difficulty it is often a good option, as it removes the need to 'catch up', but often they would rather push on even if that doesn't lead to a good outcome.

If any more support is coming in the next week or so - eg Mentoring from DSA or mental health support from uni, then I would give it a couple more weeks. If all his support is in place and he is still struggling then I would say to withdraw now and look at going to a uni close to home next year.

About the halls - it may actually not be possible to stay there if you are not a student - I know of a student who had to leave uni and couldn't stay in her accommodation despite having to pay for it! Check the t&cs.

Another one sorry it doesn’t seem to be working. Such a shame. But wanted to add that suspending may not be an option unless he manages to actually attend for a few weeks. After all he needs something to suspend from.

I followed your earlier thread on this and it's very sad that things have not improved. I would say that there's a strong chance your kid is not someone suited to living away from home and attending a university in this way, given the problems he is facing.

If he was my son (and I do have one who just turned 19 and who is not remotely conventional...) I would bring him home and get him signed up for an OU degree and see if he could get a part time job.

Suspension of studies would be for 1 year. At present he has all years of Uni funding left. The accom is not via Uni so I don't know if either Suspension or Withdrawal on medical grounds would help him be released from his contract. (I suspect not). There is no physically closer Uni except Edinburgh & I can't afford to move closer & commute would be lonely & too hard for his current health.

He's had no support in place so far except me (which is not enough re food, & obvs no good re academic support) Although DSA application already done it takes around 6 weeks to come through). I hope Uni would start academic support now (1 hr/wk organising & 1 hour academic writing). He's started Counselling (who suggested the gym for stress relief which is sensible advice but of course he can't as already Tacchycardic). 8 can ask a new GP for PTSD Counselling too.
There is a good adult ASD support place in town but again that will take time to set up.
All of this is much more than is available at home however so I don't how what framework will help him improve for next Yr.

He bought a Hoody yesterday. An old school friend is planning to visit next weekend. But he has to be able to manage food & attendance/ turning in enough academic work.

I still think if his health was better (& he'd had more time to prepare) he might manage it.

Currently 8 hours contact a week ; 2 modules which he likes & 1/3 online 'how to suceed' modules (92% in multiple choice Qu on that) If it doesn't work here I'm not sure it would work anywhere. It may be a case of, 'Yes but not now' re health. BUT I suspect if he Withdraws then they'd not offer him another place. Given all he's been through that's sad.

Ah right, okay, suspension for a year to start over next year would make more sense than go back in January - sorry I was posting in haste. I guess another way of framing it is whether part-time study is feasible but I am guessing from the accomodation cost, possibly not.
I take it the accommodation is self-catering, then. Is there no option to move to a catered one? I am guessing not.
I guess the other question is whether the DSA support and counselling would also be on hold during a suspension of studies because it seems like if that part is not sorted, all the same problems will be there in a year’s time.
Is there a student welfare service you can escalate this to? What you are saying about the GP letter not being seen as relevant seems quite far from my own experience. I would really push on better disability support. The university has a legal obligation to provide this. I would also see if there is any student representation organisation you can get to help, usually there is one at the university and they are used to helping students advocate for themselves.
The first few weeks or even months at university are difficult for many students even without the issues your DS has, so I think it is important to stress this to him. Many students feel lost and isolated. Regarding not being able to attend lectures, are these available online as recordings and is he able to attend any classes? That is how he will meet people. I think if he is not able to attend classes, he will really struggle if all the teaching is face to face and it will be an isolating experience. I say sympathetically and not as a criticism.
Regarding your DS being ambivalent, is the issue the support is missing or is the issue him being unsure about whether he wants to do it (which would be valid) in addition to the challenges? Or both?
I do also think the Open University suggestion by a previous poster is a good one. One of DD’s friends took this route for health reasons and she is doing well with it.

@TalulaHalulahthank you - good Qu's which are helping me think. It seems Suspension would be just coming home so any Uni help woud stop. Home NHS poor & ASD support non existant (a big reason for going in itself).

Part of his DSA agreement is for him to access all lectures online. It seems that, for the ones he's been too: 50% ?- though he's 'not sure' (!) must be a way of checking? they are sitting in rooms doing stuff online anyway rather than much direct teaching at this stage. In some ways that's all helpful as he could catch up but in others that doesn't suit him & he's wondering what the difference to an OU degree is, especially as he doesn't have physical energy to go to any societies either. On his Cyber course there is the 'sealed room' environment to learn in but I don't think that begins to kick in until later Y1.

I agree that there should be lots of support for a (multiply) disabled student. I don't think the person we met 'got' his heart history/ POTS at all but just said 'doesn't he understand he needs to go to lectures?' . I said of course, but POTS is proving more of a barrier than we anticipated. We were told that poor attendance can result in being asked to leave but no advice as to % level etc as 'its on an individual basis'. We were told they are busy & we can discuss DSA support OR leaving, which is pragmatic but difficult as they are intrinsically linked.

I tried to speak to him last night about going back Mon but he just says he 'doesn't know' He says he thinks he'll manage ready meals & he's getting to know his flatmates. I think we need to sit down this afternoon & log in & see how far behind he is (8 units of 'getting to know Uni' to do & he's only done 4, rest due Weds, not sure what Module work due). He's always managed by working harder/longer but that's not possible with current health.

Sorry, I am posting in haste again and I will try and come back to this.

being multiply disabled, your DS should have reasonable adjustments in place. It sounds like lectures online is one of them. But on his disability record, you should be able to see the others - or he should know what they are from his meeting with the disability advisor. One of the adjustments should be, or sounds like it needs to be, flexibility with deadlines. Flexibility with attendance can also be a reasonable adjustment and the lecturers would then be legally obliged to provide the support.

Where DD went, what was mandatory was the seminars, labs, tutorials etc; and accessing lectures online if needed was fine. But even then, in my experience, a student can have a reasonable adjustment which gives some level of flexibility here and still allows them to keep up with content. It depends on the course and what would be reasonable to provide. It sounds like the person you spoke to was not helpful and this is why escalating to student welfare or student support, depending what the university offers would be good

I think the immediate things to clarify are which deadline for making a decision applies and what reasonable adjustments are in place - and if these are not enough, can they be extended?

in terms of disability support, my DD was also given a counsellor she met with weekly for the first semester, who helped her with things like planning and organising, plus a printer and things like that because she cannot read on screen for extended periods. So there is definitely more they should be doing from a disability perspective.

in terms of the immediate Wednesday deadlines, he should contact his programme convenor on Monday first thing and explain he is still trying to get disability support in place. There must be a process for mitigating circumstances where he will be able to get an extension. Basically, the more people he reaches out to, the better. It would be helpful for him to have a realistic idea of when he will be able to complete these to know how long he is asking for.

None of these help with the living arrangements and practicalities there. Dd was in catered halls for the first year and they only cooked for themselves at weekends.

I think the other thing is that even if your DS does not continue here and decides to go the OU path, none of this experience is wasted.

Sorry this is a bit rushed

Sorry, I realised it was not helpful to say Dd was in catered halls, if this is not an option your DS has. I am guessing I would explore whether there is any likelihood of a place in a catered hall becoming available and whether it would be possible to move, but you have probably done that already.

@TalulaHalulah THANK YOU for your suggestion about Weds deadline!
I am going to sit with him later & see if he can get through any more of these modules (multiple choice, one he already did he got 93% so I think he is just 'frozen' atm)

I think its reasonable to ask for 1st two weeks attendance to be 'discounted' if DSA provision not in place. They give 1hr / wk study skills & 1 hr/wk academic organsiation help. Plus exta time, extensions etc . All of which much needed.

I have realised I didn't open all the 3 attachments to the email (doh!)
They contradict the main body of it in that it seems 50% of fees due after end week 3 (some disagreement in email vs attachment whether that inc 'Welcome Week' or not - Ds didn't go to one of the talks & later found it was mandatory)
So, maybe 50% due as of Friday gone, maybe as of 3rd Oct, maybe as of 31st!
Clearly, £ the best thing to do is, apply SAAS & stay until Xmas so if he leaves SAAS will cover his fees & £8.5K hall bill.

His MH (& physical health) clearly trumps money (even in my situation as a DWP Carer to his younger sibling - having similar issues in College with less support) But I know that what would really be best for his MH long term would be to complete his year, even if he then moves / does OU / works in Tesco.

the other thing I wonder - but it depends on the distance and how easy your DS finds travelling - is how many days a week he actually needs to be at uni.
so if his face to face classes are say Tuesday to Thursdays, can he come home when he does not need to be on campus? Or would he find it easier to build a routine in one place?
My DD forgot to press submit on her SAAS form, but it was quickly sorted.

regarding what is due when, is there information available on the webpages of the university or the student intranet? Basically, I would go with what is in the formal documents rather than the email from the staff member as that person may have made a mistake. This information should be available online as well, but some university webpages are impenetrable or they don’t have the info available.

(edited to add: what you are looking for is the fee policy, I think; it might be easier if you search that term on their website or if that is what the document you have been sent is, then go with that).

If you want to PM me the name of the university, I will have a look.