Son not allowed to continue to second year at uni

[PocketSand]

DS2 has just completed his first year in an engineering degree. His results are all over the place from 1st in maths to 2:2 to required resits. He exceeded the A level grade requirements for MEng. He is autistic and has ADHD. He was un medicated prior to and during most of his first year due to shortages followed by referral to cardiology.

His DSA support didn't start til the spring term and one support worker provided 1 hour support when 30 hours was approved. He constantly tells the one he has seen that everything is fine and they believe him.

He always says everything is fine and doesn't ask for help. He has never been to the library and relies totally on lecture notes. He doesn't know what independent study is. I have always been his advocate but now he is expected to advocate for himself. No one at the uni knows these issues - he has not even contacted his personal tutor let alone disability services and just thinks he needs to work harder.

He found out today that he has failed his third submission of a lab report he initially submitted in February. He did not have DSA agreed support at that time so he didn’t have his own laptop. He borrowed another student’s at the time but when he had to resubmit no longer had access to his results and so he tried to cobble together a report using specimen (and maybe someone else’s results - not clear). He had previously received an email saying he couldn’t proceed unless he passed resubmission. I assume that’s where we are at now.

His feedback is harsh - shouldn’t study for a degree if not prepared to use feedback to improve his work. Trouble is he often doesn’t understand the feedback and he is unwilling to ask for clarification as he fears tutor’s anger. He says he doesn’t know who marked the work so doesn’t know who to talk to and seems generally clueless about most administrative issues.

I feel completely in the dark and don’t know where to go from here. Obviously I don’t want to just give up and accept his journey ends here as it seems very unfair but don’t know what I can do to try and enable him to fix this or if it can be fixed.

Can anyone who knows the system provide advice on next steps please?

Him saying fine is telling them he doesn’t want support. They will find it very difficult to support him if he isn’t honest.

the role of the DSA tutor isn’t to support him with specific learning that he needs for his MEng. For that he needs to go to lecturer office hours, ask the lecturer in a seminar, contact his personal tutor, email and ask a lecturer that way, ask a peer for help, go to the library, do the mandatory reading. But it’s not the role of the DSA supporter to help him with specific learning for his degree.

I'd complain about the disability team then, I'm not saying he made mistakes (he did but not his fault) just that he needs help and support to slowly learn to voice his needs without you (not for now, but gradually). However the fact they never reached out to him, didn't reply to your email is unacceptable. Most university Disability teams are excellent, complain - it may be that before when you emailed he hadn't give you authorisation so they ignored it (they still should have emailed him though). But now if they do that again, I'd definitely complain, they failed to contact him post DSA Needs Assessment as well which shouldn't happen since he consented.

This is excellent advice for OP and her son, (I am a lecturer at a university with a student support services that has a very good reputation.) So much better than all the pp saying he's not ready for university when it seems it's the route ge wants to take and that he is academically able to do this with appropriate support.

Saying you’re fine does not mean he doesn’t want support. Eg when I saw my GP face to face back in the day, they always used to say ‘how are you’ when I entered and I would automatically reply ‘fine thank you’. Obviously this was not true. Luckily they didn’t take me at my word. I would not be there if I was ‘fine’. Just like DS2 wouldn’t have been authorised 2 hours of 1:1 support is everything was fine. If they ask specific questions he tells them about his poor performance. I would expect them to understand how to talk to someone with a communication disorder as it’s an essential part of their job. .

Of course he needs to contact academic staff about course content. I have not suggested this is the role of DSA tutors as it’s obvious it’s not.

Good luck I hope he can get it sorted.

Exactly, well put, OP

OP: it does sound as though there were process failures. I hope his appeal is successful on those grounds. He’s clearly clever and deserves the chance to fulfil his considerable promise.

Your role is to champion him; the university’s role is to run the whole machine. When the machine is under strain, the most individual needs get missed. He won't be alone in that by any means. It's not fair, but is the reality.

From my own experience as a university tutor, I saw how easy it was for bright young people to stumble on one compulsory element and end up at risk of failing the year. Even with support in place, the way a course is structured – especially with strict accreditation rules – can create tripwires.

Some posters here seem to be saying that if he stays in this programme (or moves to another), he may hit similar roadblocks in future. Well-grounded appeals generally succeed but I'd agree that it's risky to rely on that - sometimes they don't. And sometimes I would encourage students to appeal but they just lost heart, possibly telling parents that the university had said 'no'. It's hard to always have to be in battling mode.

So, alongside challenging the university now, it’s worth thinking about how to reduce that risk going forward – because you and he both have a lot invested in this.

It’s sad that disability so often means working harder just to stand level with others. My own children are a lot younger but have similar challenges. I can already see I’ll need to help them (and battle institutions) to find their own ways of working, even when they resist it.

He sounds like a lovely, capable young man with huge strengths as well as challenges – and he’s really, really lucky to have you in his corner. I hope next year brings him the right routines and support, and that things fall into place so he can show the world what he can do.

I am not sure if I have missed this, but has your DS ever done work experience in the relevant engineering professional setting/spoken to engineers?

@mcqstar. Thanks for your post. It is hard to be in battle mode all the time. I have 2 DC and even when not actually battling (tribunal) there is so much admin dealing with schools, the LA, DLA etc on top of dealing with the actual issues. I just wanted a break from battles for my DC so I could focus on the financial dispute battle with STBEX! And then I want a break. So DS2 has to do things differently as I’m not going through this with him every year.

@goldsolidgold my brother is a structural engineer so DS2 has spoken to him but has not done relevant work experience. I’ll put that on his list of things he has to do. As well as finding out about switching to an option with a year in industry.

I think you need to look at everything your son has achieved this year without the correct support. He has passed all his modules bar 1 lap report.

That specific issue can be dealt with, with videos and hopefully getting some support to read over what he has written.

He is doing really well, not perfect but he is certainly getting more right than wrong.

DH lectures in engineering, says reading lists and reading around the subject not as big an issue for undergrad engineering as some other subjects, and loads is online anyway. So I wouldn’t get hung up on that and going to the library. But when DC had to retake first year engineering, similar issues, I did buy quite a few books from the reading list on eBay so they were easily available just in case it helped, only a few quid each.
choose your battles and right now getting an appeal in likely to be priority, look at academic appeals on uni website and on students union website for guidance , maybe find them yourself first and then google them together to model doing this

Wishing you all the best. You are a hero

There has been no official communication since he failed his 3rd submission so DS2 wants to wait until he has spoken to his lecturer (should hopefully happen tomorrow) to see if he if has to just redo that experiment or submission or the whole module or the whole year or won’t be allowed to progress to the 2nd before working out the correct response.

@2025ishere I assume that’s why DS2 thinks textbooks on the reading lists are optional as essential stuff like appendices of tables are provided. Where he seems to have come unstuck is not being able to answer the ‘excellence’ questions where the content was not taught in the 1st year and questions are based on 2nd year syllabus/exam papers.

He has previously relied on past papers and mark schemes to learn by his mistakes and wrongly assumed that he could guess what was required in his first submission to learn what was required. Hence his lecturers being pissed off he did not make sure he knew the requirements before making his first submission. He now knows the expectation is to make sure you get it right the first time and he has to change his way of learning. This may reduce the workload of staff but I’m not sure it teaches the valuable lesson of learning by mistakes and seeing ‘failure’ as a means to improve and learn to pick yourself up to continue toward success.

He is lucky in that he is not plagued by anxiety and is very resilient. He started school with speech delay and was under SCLN and school arranged EP because they thought he had LD (as in IQ under 70). They were very surprised when it turned out his IQ was over 145. It was only then they considered autism/ADHD. He’s still quite hard to understand and a gentle giant at over 6”2’. He doesn’t come across as ‘bright’ and he’s used to being misunderstood and under-estimated. The progress he makes when he has appropriate support and his attainment matches his ability is extraordinary. But it’s always been tricky getting it in place. Partly due not believing he needs it and not wanting to need it but also partly due to the perceptions of others that he is not able and so it’s a waste of time and resources.

@Everyday99 I’m just a struggling mum with the experience of trying to support 2 autistic DC with very different profiles over 2 decades. Both DC1 and DC2 are the real heroes.

@JamesWebbSpaceTelescope thank you. DS2 had about 6 required resubmissions (!) but has passed them all so has passed 21 submissions and failed 1.

He was off his higher than normally licensed ADHD meds from May 2024 due to supply issues and then wasn’t able to restart them until cardiology gave him the all clear after 24 hour monitoring. Then late start and no start of DSA 1:1 support and no support from uni disability services.

He’s coped really well and the struggle has provided an important lesson to him of what HE needs to do differently.

I’ve told him how well he has done and that I will support him to iron out any ‘teething issues’.

Onwards and upwards!

I really think the life skill of being able to pick yourself up after failing is underrated sometimes! IME, it wasn't the more uber confident students who did well in the long run, it was the grafters, who made mistakes and did the necessary to correct them. Whether NT or ND!

And I think there are a large number of ND professionals around, for sure, even if never diagnosed.

It is he who needs to do the work, as any support can only go so far, if he is to actually earn his degree.

Have you thought of getting him a Personal Assistant to ensure all his necessary study skills and projects are better developed and explained to him. You can pay for this out of his PIP. The University can only do so much.

As someone advised earlier, I would advise he changes to Maths or whatever subject he really gets.

Engineering requires a full understanding of connected course modules and the ability to draw from each in order to finish any particular project.

Many students find they have chosen the wrong course, or over-estimated their abilities, or how demanding the course content actually is.

@PocketSand

Well done to all of you for your hard work over the years.

Our lives are like climbing ladders, some steps are more slippery than others.

NT doesn't exist.

Neurotypical does exist - I’ll continue to get my information on diversity from clinical experts

There is no such thing as a typical brain. It doesn't exist. All brains are different.

Crack on defining a typical brain....

Be amazing for teachers who wouldn't ever have to differentiate work for different learners as they would all learn in exactly the same way with their 'same brains' right?

He has previously relied on past papers and mark schemes to learn by his mistakes and wrongly assumed that he could guess what was required in his first submission to learn what was required. Hence his lecturers being pissed off he did not make sure he knew the requirements before making his first submission. He now knows the expectation is to make sure you get it right the first time and he has to change his way of learning. This may reduce the workload of staff but I’m not sure it teaches the valuable lesson of learning by mistakes and seeing ‘failure’ as a means to improve and learn to pick yourself up to continue toward success.

I'm sorry, but of course the 'expectation is to make sure you get it right the first time' when you're submitting coursework, papers, lap reports. If everyone treated the submission of work as a 'draft' the workload would be unsustainable entirely!

This exactly.

Didn't he have marked coursework to submit for A level that contributed to his final grade?

I do think he’s still in a school mindset, where the lecturers are teachers and he can do multiple attempts that they remark - and then sits an external exam. That’s not how it works at university.

I am worried that he hasn’t grasped this in a whole academic year, and indeed that he didn’t understand that difference before he went to uni.

6 required resubmissions is a very high number.

Looking at the A-level subjects OP has mentioned I doubt he did any coursework at all, he seemed to do STEM subjects and other than the practical components of the sciences he did, the rest would have been final exams.