Son not allowed to continue to second year at uni

[PocketSand]

DS2 has just completed his first year in an engineering degree. His results are all over the place from 1st in maths to 2:2 to required resits. He exceeded the A level grade requirements for MEng. He is autistic and has ADHD. He was un medicated prior to and during most of his first year due to shortages followed by referral to cardiology.

His DSA support didn't start til the spring term and one support worker provided 1 hour support when 30 hours was approved. He constantly tells the one he has seen that everything is fine and they believe him.

He always says everything is fine and doesn't ask for help. He has never been to the library and relies totally on lecture notes. He doesn't know what independent study is. I have always been his advocate but now he is expected to advocate for himself. No one at the uni knows these issues - he has not even contacted his personal tutor let alone disability services and just thinks he needs to work harder.

He found out today that he has failed his third submission of a lab report he initially submitted in February. He did not have DSA agreed support at that time so he didn’t have his own laptop. He borrowed another student’s at the time but when he had to resubmit no longer had access to his results and so he tried to cobble together a report using specimen (and maybe someone else’s results - not clear). He had previously received an email saying he couldn’t proceed unless he passed resubmission. I assume that’s where we are at now.

His feedback is harsh - shouldn’t study for a degree if not prepared to use feedback to improve his work. Trouble is he often doesn’t understand the feedback and he is unwilling to ask for clarification as he fears tutor’s anger. He says he doesn’t know who marked the work so doesn’t know who to talk to and seems generally clueless about most administrative issues.

I feel completely in the dark and don’t know where to go from here. Obviously I don’t want to just give up and accept his journey ends here as it seems very unfair but don’t know what I can do to try and enable him to fix this or if it can be fixed.

Can anyone who knows the system provide advice on next steps please?

I don’t think that means DS has not attended arranged sessions or that he has prevented further sessions from being arranged.

Maybe I’m reading it wrong. As I said.

im trying to help the op.

I read it the same as you did.

@Tippertapperfeet I read it the same as you . He may have had funding available for 30 hours but only had one, either because no follow up was arranged at the time or he said he did not need it. Technically it was one a week but that can be flexible as often there are periods where it is not required such as post exams and more when deadlines approach,

I honestly read it like he was saying no I’m fine I don’t need it.

And the issue is that because the op hadn’t been set up to speak on behalf of her son, to an extent they have to take him at his word. The support person kept reaching out and he said he was fine. What else are they meant to do?

Nothing. Support is offered, it obviously can’t be forced.

Perhaps OP could clarify because early in the thread StarlitPurple25 posted:

“DSA tutors are paid by the hour, so it’s likely that if only one hour of support is provided it’s because the student didn’t engage with support.”

And in reply OP posted:

“DSA support has been shocking. DS2 can’t have failed to engage with support that was not provided.”

I read that in the context of the statement in the op and that it hadn’t been provided because he had said he was fine.

the op has made it clear that part of his issue is that he won’t ask for help. But university isn’t school or home Ed where the op is standing over him to make sure he studies and attends and they can’t make him attend support sessions.

I am sorry op but your son may not be ready for university. He may need support and he should absolutely get that help but he also needs to want to access that support and be willing to engage with it. If he is not willing then neither you nor the university can do anything for him.

I say this as someone with a 19 year old woth ASD and ADHD so I am completely sympathetic but like a lot of tthings from now on, much of this is out of your control.

Ask you spn what he would like to do. Tell him his.options and ask him if he wants your help to proceed with his preferred option but he needs to decide what he wants to do and to put in the work to do it. Just like everyone else. If he is not capable of advocating for himself ( with your support at first) then he is not yet ready. He might be in a few years

I said perhaps the OP can clarify. Although if your understanding is correct I don’t see how OP saying “DS2 can’t have failed to engage with support that was not provided.” can be true.

Of course the university can’t force DS to attend. I didn’t say otherwise. But the support via DSA must be provided, which even if your reading is right, it didn’t start until the spring term, which is poor. It also won’t be a surprise to the disability services that some disabled students can’t ask for help.

Very similar situation to my son. Same needs. However, my son was allowed to repeat his second year and then move on to third year. I wish he had chosen to transfer near us because he left Uni without a degree, didn’t pass his third year. Now he has transferred to near us, not sure how we will do this financially! Ensure that he is near you and you can support him emotionally. Also get a letter from the GP and complain about the way he was treated. You can acted as his support and approach the University. I hope everything works well for your son. My son had to reapply through UCAS.

Didn’t the Op say that her son had not responded to emails from DSA so support was delayed? That is hardly the fault of the university.
see post 06/08 18:55

I don’t know. But I do I hear from parents who bemoan that the support wasn’t put in place but that it was offered and the student didn’t engage.

It isn’t the same at uni as school. Especially when the student themselves hasn’t authorised a parent to talk to uni.

I am not sure that the op understands the difference from school - or at least that she understood it at the start of the process. I’m surprised that the education providers for her sons A levels didn’t assist them with the ucas application and with the navigation of accepting the uni place. I’m surprised she wasn’t nominated from the get go to speak on her son’s behalf. I have a sense that’s because he doesn’t want her to - he thinks it’s not a good look. And he’s being stubborn about that. Which isn’t helping.

To be perfectly honest I’m not even clear at this point if he has failed or not.

Lot of people here do not understand the need of someone with autism and ADHD! They will say they are fine! When they are not! They won’t talk, they will let you know or you will find out that there is a problem when it’s too late. OP, be close to your son, make sure his Uni is not too far. The world already has too many people who cannot understand his needs and don’t care!

She did say DS had not replied to an email. She also said there wasn’t a follow up. At least one more email should have been sent given DS is a disabled student with EF difficulties.

I do understand. I have autism and adhd and I’ve steered 2 kids with both through the uni system.

There is little we can do from the uni pov if the student doesn’t tell us honestly of their needs and doesn’t engage with service sans hasn’t authorised a parent to speak to us.

Absolutely. There should have been multiple follow ups.

Equally, it is just as common, if not more so, for provision that should be provided, not the have been.

To be fair, that is not my experience at an ex poly. It was my DCs at a Russell group.

Sadly, it is the experience of too many. Pleased to hear it wasn’t your experience.

However I was nominated from the beginning to speak for that DC and I pestered them.

DC was of the view that everything was fine.

I do find it hard to believe that they did A levels without a laptop or computer and didn’t think they’d need one at uni. One of mine took a laptop and their gaming pc!!

If you tell a support staff member you’re fine and if you don’t seek support outside that
It would be logical that they would not chase the students

Unis don’t do the chasing. They can’t make people attend.
They offer help but don’t force it on people who don’t take it up.

We see this regularly

Mine are at RG and their procedures and support are extremely thorough

If it’s not good I think it’s just down to the individual Uni, not what ‘type’ ( for want if a better word )

Im also an external lecturer at an RG and I’d say they are very thorough and supportive. A damn site more than in my day.

Disability specialists, which is who provide the study skills support via DSA, should be more than aware ‘fine’ or ‘OK’ doesn’t always mean that everything is ‘fine’ or ‘OK’. They should send more than 1 email to the disabled student with EF difficulties. That isn’t the same as forcing them to attend.

I am sorry op but your son may not be ready for university. He may need support and he should absolutely get that help but he also needs to want to access that support and be willing to engage with it. If he is not willing then neither you nor the university can do anything for him.

As another parent with a DS with asd and adhd, I think that sometimes they can want the support and be willing to engage with it, but will still wave away questions like ‘are you ok?’ and give the wrong impression of how they’re coping. It can be embarrassing to them that they do need help. (Obviously this will vary from person to person, but I can see DS doing exactly that.)

If the support were offered in a certain manner, eg a firm timetable of their support sessions given to them with a matter-of-fact expectation they’ll attend, that could go much better. If it’s up to them to chase the support, well… that won’t work nearly as well for some people.

I know it’s uni, but they have a disability where executive function is often impaired and they can be emotionally immature. That really does need to be taken into account. It’s no good considering what they should be able to do, and what others their age can do, as that may be simply setting them up to fail.