He got a Third.

[DoNoTakeNo]

Firstly, I know this is not about me.
Secondly, that doesn’t stop me being devastated for my DS.
I just need to get this off my chest I suppose; any coping strategies appreciated.
DS got his degree result today; as per the title, it’s a 3rd - he missed out by half a percent. He studied at a prestigious university but has told me he feels that his degree is a waste & he can’t even apply for jobs he wanted (his original plan was a Masters but that’s not going to happen now).
He has had so much trauma and tragedy in his life, I’m honestly devastated that he has been hit with this (& yes I know it was his work that got him the result, not just chance).
He lost his father to cancer as a teen, he recently lost a cousin to murder, and he has a rare & complex life-long illness.
He always has a home here; DH & his siblings & I love him very much.
How on earth can I help him?
I hope others who are getting results now aren’t going through this.

To go through all that at such a young age and achieve a degree (so what if it’s a third!) shows what a resilient young man he is.
The world is his oyster now. I wish him all the best OP x

Please tell him not to be too hard on himself. He has overcome a lot. My dad also passed when I was a teen, 16 to be precise. I got pregnant in my final year and graduated with a 3rd, it never held me back. I worked in very well paid roles in several Fortune 500 companies.

Nothing to add to the excellent advice above but congratulations to your son. Fight for a re-mark. He sounds a wonderful young man who deserves the best.

I know people who have a masters but never did a degree

I've heard about someone doing this for an MBA. Now I'm wondering how

I would ask questions about remarks or appeals, but other university experiences and policies won't tell you much here. They also don't mean his tutors haven't done everything they can already. At my place, for example, the mark is the mark, once moderated, boundaries are absolutely fixed, personal circs are not considered once student was in sound mind when they submitted, and there is no such thing as a remark. Procedural errors are the only grounds for revision.

His place will have its own policies, and it's worth asking, but they will only be able to apply their own rules. So do enquire, but don't get too invested in this or argue his case on grounds from other places

On the other hand, admissions to master's programmes are flexible pretty much everywhere. A reference and personal statement referring to his extenuating circumstances is likely to get him onto many programmes with higher requirements on paper. Once he has the MA, nobody will pay much attention to the grade. Just think about whether he should rush on to "erase" that grade or whether a year's change of scene might not send him back stronger.

Also - happy to be corrected on this but I believe the Open University's limited range of master's degrees have no set grade for entry.

His future is not ruined, and having seen hundreds of young people through university, I can say not one thing makes as much difference as a supportive family - well done to both of you.

He has a degree. That’s great. If he wanted he could apply for a repeat year explaining his circumstances and their impact. He could also apply for a masters degree after messaging the course leader/director and explaining why he got the third - and highlighting subjects where he did better - e.g. I got a third overall in Biology, but I got a 65% in genetics and 68% in microbiology, so it suggests capability at the required standard. Unless the desired uni is v. prestigious and/or the course is very competitive, HE is a sector in crisis at the moment and if they think he is capable in some way they may be able to make him and offer.

Episode 3 of this programme OP (worth a watch generally!)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002cg5l

This (insanely productive and successful) guy (Henrik Stiesdal) didn’t finish university. Your DS did, and has his degree.

The world’s most powerful wind turbine, standing nearly as tall as the Eiffel Tower, powers around 20,000 homes and received zero planning objections from local residents. This acceptance reflects Denmark’s pioneering approach to community ownership of renewable energy infrastructure, where local groups own turbines and wind farms, ensuring public support for development projects.
Danish inventor Henrik Stiesdal, recently awarded engineering’s equivalent of a Nobel Prize, continues pushing boundaries with floating offshore wind turbines capable of operating in deep waters. His vision of generating ten times the world’s power needs through floating wind technology represents the ambitious thinking characteristic of Scandinavian innovation. Crucially, Stiesdal’s company prioritizes climate impact over profit, reflecting values that distinguish Nordic business culture from purely commercial enterprises.

https://whenigrowupstories.org/inspiring-stories/henrik-stiesdal/

I know it means alot to him now, but in real life the second he gets some work experience noone cares what he got at university. They will just see XXXX degree at XXXX university. For example when he has a couple of years of experience they will be begging him to take the masters as its more money for them.

Academia doesn't always bring the best out in people is a lot of circumstances. He will be fine, and maybe considering all the awful things he has been through a little break from exams will be a good thing.

I got a 3rd from a prestigious university. I managed to wangle myself onto a postgrad course at a not-very-prestigious by showing them the marks breakdown which laid out that I had got 1st class and 2:1 grades in the 2 topics that were most closely related to the substance of the postgrad course, and was dragged down by abysmal grades in other topics, and they agreed to give me a chance. From that I was able to get into a corporate graduate training scheme which normally requires 2:1 but accepted that the postgrad qualification trumped the 3rd. Once I had work experience, nobody gave a toss about the 3rd but I still got kudos from the prestigious university. It can all work out fine.

Personally I'd not waste more time on tertiary education. There are many good apprenticeships nowadays that lead to being things like a fully qualified accountant or an engineer with a degree and so on. Often paying in the £twenties and leading to decent professional salaries.
I'd cut his losses, don't get more student debt and start earning and building a career and self respect via an apprenticeship.

Good luck.

Please do push for a remark, he’s so close!

Please also tell him this doesn’t stop him having a great career/life, it just changes the way he might have to go about it.

I too got a poor degree result from a prestigious university. I too had exceptionally complex family circumstances and an also an undiagnosed health condition. At 20 I didn’t realise that these things would obviously impact my results, none of my coursemates were going through similar and I compared myself to them and assumed I should get the same results. I simply wasn’t mature enough to acknowledge the impact of my circumstances and still be proud of the result. For a couple of years I watered down my ambitions and took jobs in hospitality/admin, thinking that it was all I was good enough for.

Within a couple of years I was bored out of my brain, circumstances had changed and I chased down the investment banking career of my dreams. I couldn’t use a grad scheme because of my result + time passed so I used my admin experience to take an entry level role and worked my way up. Turned out it was exactly where I was meant to be and my suitability for the role and environment meant I shot up through the ranks. The tough circumstances that damaged my degree result turned out to be “resilience” and “grit” in the workplace. I now outrank and outearn all but a couple of my classmates who went into similar corporate careers, with their 2.1s getting them onto the grad schemes several years before I even tried.

It may take a while but this doesn’t define his life outcomes. He should take a step back and think about his skills and interests and what paths he can take. If he has a bar job in the meantime, so what? It’s not forever, I did this for a year and actually it was lighthearted and fun and exactly what I needed after so much stress.

Take a breath, take his time and don’t assume this is a reflection of who he is and all the other things that are so much more important in life. He will end up just where he needs to be.

My DH got a 3rd - civil engineering. It was a struggle getting a job to start off with, he couldn't get a degree level job, so took a technician level job instead in the end. Within a year they'd moved him up to a graduate post, and he's just gone onwards and upwards since then, retiring soon as an associate director.

My DHs problem is that he's clever but not really into studying, he also got heavily involved with student politics (ran for president of the SU) & was in various other societies, and in every single society he seemed to end up running it, hence no time for studying, which he didn't want to do anyway.

You DS will find his own path - he does still have a degree, so he can get degree level jobs, he just might have to go via a circuitous route to get his foot in the door, but he will get there, don't lose faith in him OP!

OP, you don't say if your son submitted mitigating circumstances in advance of the exam board?

There is a lot of incorrect advice on here. Universities don't remark on request to try to find some extra marks.

Where exam boards do have discretion is in relation to borderline cases and/or mitigating circumstances. Most places will push up borderline cases if they can (the case will need to fulfil certain criteria, e.g. preponderance of marks in the higher category; higher average than the boundary in the final year; performance in core modules, etc - it will vary by institution and these criteria should be available to students). That doesn't change the average mark (or any individual marks), it simply promotes the student to the higher classification.

The exam board will have considered this as a borderline case, but if he hasn't submitted mitigating circumstances for consideration by the Exam Board, then he needs to find out if and how he can do so now, as it's highly likely consideration of these would promote him, at just 0.5% off the boundary. Timing is of the essence here: it may be that it is still possible to do so (just) without having to go to an appeal. An appeal is more tricky as there would usually need to be a valid reason why the student did not submit their mitigating circumstances in time for the exam board's consideration.

@FizerorTizzits a STEM subject

@pyzazThank you. I’ll never lose faith in him.

Having an easy home life doesn’t mean good grades at uni because you have to do the study - the same for a tough home life He can contest the result but he won’t get that extra half percent because of his experience of life. The illness should have been noted before the exams if it has an impact on him doing exams. He’ll need to show that information has been missed from the marking.

Agree with this - it's definitely worth a reassessment for such a close score.

I also think he needs to look at his distance travelled and how much he over came to get here. And I also think some careers advice would be good so he can see there's lots of ways to achieve the same end goal. I initially got a very low scoring 2.2 (scraped in really) and now I have another degree and a masters and a really high level job in my sector which I love. Life isn't linear as he knows from his experiences and neither are career paths.

Fellow third class degree holder here!

Your son has done a great job to make it to the end, and had learnt far more than simply what his grade classification says.

It'll be weird at first, but as others have said, once he's up and running with a job (anything half relevant to start) it'll all settle down, and in 2 years you'll laugh and think what was all the fuss about. Doubly so if he's STEM - regardless of classification, we need more people like him

By all means be supportive of remarks etc but don't push him too hard if he doesn't want to; projecting any feelings of failure you have onto him will make him feel really sh*t.

He'll find his way.

ps, my salary is now £140k. I'm not saying that to gloat, but to reassure as somebody who absolutely has been in your son's position and remembers that feeling on day 1!

You mention your son has a lifelong health issue. Is it something that could be considered a disability? And if it is, did he apply for Disabled Students Allowance and get appropriate support to help him overcome any barriers to learning?

An ex of mine at uni got a 3rd. Hes now a sky sports presenter. He can still go far, he did great to overcome so much!

A friend of mine got a 3rd. She took a few years off doing odd jobs and then did another degree in a completely unrelated subject. This was in the years when tuition was free though. Having said that, her determination to succeed led her to be head psychologist at a specialist hospital. Huge success 2nd time around.

He doesn't have to fix this now, just keep moving forward and remember has has a degree, he did not fail. There's a big difference there.

No @MaidOfSteel (love your name!) it’s not a disability - meds & appointments but doesn’t come under the scope of the act.

Uni have been wonderful to him, the care they’ve given pastorally has been second to none. I don’t think there’s a chance of a remark; he has looked into their policies and doesn’t qualify.

I think he feels lost, particularly as he now has to come home shortly - he’d planned lots of Uni-related activities over the summer but these aren’t possible now.
I need to get through to him how immensely proud we are of him & all that he has achieved - and also that achievements aren’t the only thing he should measure himself against!

Thank you all for your support. You’ve really helped me to cope.

I don't know if all universities are the same, but if you appeal you need to have a reason that you haven't disclosed before (and an explanation of why he hasn't). Has he always used the special considerations processes to support him due to his personal circumstances? If not I would suggest looking into an appeal and say he did not recognise at the time the impact of these events or illnesses.

If he was planning on doing university things over the summer, does that mean he was hoping to do a masters at the same university? Has he asked if they will accept him still because of his mitigating circumstances? Has he asked his tutors and careers department for advice?

Do you want to tell us what he was hoping to take a masters in or what he hopes to do after university so people can offer practical alternative routes to getting to where he hoped to be?

Keep reminding him that he has achieved so much under difficult circumstances and this is just a small blip in life. There is no need to give up on his hopes and aspirations, there is always another way to achieve what he wants or maybe he will find something better for him.