Teen son has absolutely no idea what he wants to do

[Kvec1507]

Hi all
My son is in year 12 and just had his mocks. They went really badly. We're trying to get him to focus on an end goal so he knows what to aim for for achievement. The thing is he has absolutely no idea what he wants to do after a levels. I completely understand this as I'm 41 and still don't know what I want to do with my life lol.
I think he's getting overwhelmed with all the options between unis, apprenticeships, travelling, work. I don't know how to help him.
I imagine lots of kids feel like this.
I want him to visit some unis but he doesn't know if he wants to move away or stay home.
All he says is that he wants to earn well. He has an interest in sport, biology and weirdly sales.
How can I help him? He's at a complete loss. I don't want to travel up and down the country looking at unis when deep down I don't think that's for him
He's a very stubborn person but I am getting frustrated with 'i don't know' as his answer for everything.
The school doesn't have careers guidance.
He's done tests online to see where his interests might be but it always comes up as police or teacher, neither of which he wants to do.
How did you help your teens navigate this time in their lives when they didn't have a focus?

I mean he can apply after the gap year after his A levels

My DD and pretty much all of her friends are taking a gap year after their levels this year.

They all feel burnt out and they all want a year together to hang out whilst working and some taking advantage of an extra free paid year of education at their local college which all DC get up till 19

your DS could look to do the same at a local tech / college and do anything he feels like doing. Look now to see when you have to apply for next year.

Then most of them will go to uni applying grades in hand

I have friends who have done sports massage courses, and then later (even as mature students) followed it up by going to uni to do osteopathy or physiotherapy.

www.eso.ac.uk

If he likes sport, and his career forecasts suggest the police, could he join one of the armed forces (if you’re happy for him to go down this route)? He could get qualifications whilst serving.

We had lots of conversations about what different jobs entail and what sort of things they could imagine themselves doing…
Things like - would you prefer to be office based or work outdoors/do you enjoy getting to know new people/do you prefer structure and routine or would you like each day to be different…etc etc.
There were a lot of jobs that my dc didn’t even realise existed before we started exploring it.
At least this might lead them towards doing particular subjects at A level or college. I’d recommend visiting a couple of unis as PPs have suggested, just so they get an idea of what it entails.
Have a look at some apprenticeship opportunities- but make it clear that things change so they’re unlikely to start a job and stay in it, so they’re not making a decision that they have to stick to forever!

Oh come on. I still don't know what I want to do when I grown up and I'm 56
Life is different these days. You don't go into a career for life you adapt and move around

It was someone that I already knew.

Perhaps encourage him to look into apprenticeships for trades such as plumbing, electrician, construction, engineer etc. Might be worth exploring if he doesn’t feel Uni is for him… these trades also have high earning power which he has stipulated.

OP
“He's a very stubborn person but I am getting frustrated with 'i don't know' as his answer for everything.”

so you need to stop asking. It’s great when kids know what they want to do but it’s very normal not to. My kids are late 20s and early 30s and lots of their friends muddled along not knowing where they were going but found their way sooner or later. Your son will probably have to work until he is 70 so if he takes a bit of time it doesn’t matter. One of my kids didn’t know what they wanted to do at all until they finished uni. They are now in their perfect career.
He’s got a lot to be thinking about with his exams so maybe he will be more in the right frame of mind.

It might be an idea to go to one or two uni open days - I loved going with my kids. I didn’t go into the talks or anything like that but it was a good way to have one on one time with each kid where they are the focus.

Stop asking and leave him to figure it out himself would be my advice. My youngest didn't want to go to uni like his brothers. Straight A student at gcse but lost focus at A level, can't remember what grades he got exactly in the end but poor. He had a gap year, tried a couple of jobs and the last one seemed to focus his mind (call centre for DWP😂).......sorted himself out, did an access course at college and then went to uni, all his choice and a significant shock to me what he chose to do!

The obvious place for him to focus sounds like maybe becoming a sports agent - it's bigger in the US than in the UK but there are definitely companies that do it and do it well. He could potentially make a killing, especially if he is into both sports and good at sales.

I don't know if any of these places have internships or similar but it might be worth investigating:

Unique Sports Group
CAA Stellar
Elite Sports Agency
Moyo Sports

There's a few - some specializing in Olympics / track and field and others covering a wide range.

Completely agree with @Mossstitch- if your DS is losing focus at A-level and doesn’t know what to do, helping him step off the academic conveyor belt so he has time to mature and work out his place in the world is really the best option.

Not being ready to go to uni straight after sixth form isn’t a problem. Lots of kids who do just keep on going because it’s expected may end up changing courses/paths anyway, so why not encourage him to take a year or so to work, volunteer, and grow up a bit before deciding? Realising what the world of work really looks like can really help young people focus on what they do and don’t want.

If he was my son I’d suggest this - plan a year out. Don’t bother looking at unis. Get a job perhaps in a large sports centre (they have sales jobs for memberships etc) and give him time to breathe. He will soon work it out - if he wants a degree far better to go in a year or two IF he really wants it. I’ve known too many kids drop out first year so don’t focus on that yet

Sales is great btw - can get him into any industry. Sports, retail, clothing, IT…

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that teens are expected to have their life planned out. The education system is bonkers in that respect.

imo he should take a break from education, and have different experiences then come back to it later. Or not. If uni is not what he wants.

DD was the same this time last year. Our local university had an open day one weekend so I dragged her there for a look and lunch. She sat in a few talks. And fell in love with a subject she didn't even know existed.
Just expose him to all options you can get to, make him get a summer job so the reality of getting up to go to work day after day sets in.
Travelling can wait, all it does is avoid the issue for a while.

Bio medical sales perhaps? With a biology degree (or engineering) it would be a stepping stone.

This is a really good tool. It makes you think about different strengths & interests and how they might translate into a job.

It is a New Zealand site so some of the information won’t be relevant. But it might give him some ideas

https://www.careers.govt.nz/tools/careerquest/question

Careers that spring to mind are physiotherapy or sales for a medial/drug company.
Finding work experience with a physio would be a good step to see if he would enjoy that.
I work for a global diagnostic company and there are loads of varied jobs available- technician, sales, customer service, QC officer for example, all would need a degree in relevant field (sport science would be fine).
Perhaps a sport science course with a focus on sport biology would be a good option- find the courses he’d most enjoy and visit those unis to find out more.
Taking a gap year is also definitely worth considering, he could try and get a job at a sport shop or centre for experience.

Agree with this! Sales isn't a weird thing to be into. It's a really good steer on his abilities, a good earner and something that a lot of people aren't confident enough to do. Sounds like he should take a year out, take a sales job and start building that side of his CV. He may never need a degree, it's not mandatory.

He's definitely not yet ready for university. This isn't a bad thing. Some people mature slowly. He should go and work - in anything really - until he finds what he's REALLY interested in doing. Then he'll be ready to go for it!

Not being ready to go to uni straight after sixth form isn’t a problem. Lots of kids who do just keep on going because it’s expected may end up changing courses/paths anyway, so why not encourage him to take a year or so to work, volunteer, and grow up a bit before deciding? Realising what the world of work really looks like can really help young people focus on what they do and don’t want.

I teach quite a few of these students every year in a humanities discipline that's broad and so doesn't require them to really focus. And I wish they would have not come straight to university, but gone out into the world to find their real passion.

It's really frustrating to teach this sort of student, and I don't think they're happy deep down, either.

I didn't know either at that age. I worked for a few years to get an idea of adult life and then made my choice of education. I am not sorry I did that. What does a teenager know about work? It's ridiculous to make them choose something now when they have no obvious preferences.

I would tell him that he doesn't have to go to uni. As long as he works once he leaves school, he can always decide later what he wants when he developed some focus.

When you say he loves sports do you he loves playing sport or watching? If he’s shown a vague interest in physio I’d look at options around that. It very competitive to get into at uni so if he’s failed his mocks and is struggling academy I suspect it’s off the cards. But sports science might suit him as that’s a mix of all sorts of thing, occupational therapy can be similar (but most likely means working for the NHS), sports therapy & sports massage can be done without going to uni…..

I’m not sure why people are suggesting physiotherapy. It’s highly academic and competitive to even get on a course. I’m sorry OP but if he’s not doing well in exams, it’s unlikely to be a good fit.
I strongly suggest a year off to get some life experience be it working, travelling or volunteering (preferably a mix).
No need to rush in to a university course when he is so uncertain.