Reducing money for DD at uni

[Lana26]

DD is in her first year at uni. She’s only been there a month. We set a budget but I felt it was a bit low so against my DH wishes added an extra 100 a month.
since she’s been there all she has done is go out and get drunk. Keeps regaling us of stories of getting thrown out of nightclubs etc. I suppose she has only been there a month or so but there has been no mention of studying.
it’s costing so much money and I feel like I’m at home pinching my finance and she’s having the time of her life. Has anyone else dropped their child’s money. She has all her accommodation paid for plus 25 a week for food and her phone bill paid for. I think she should get a job as she’s only at college three days a week and this gives her loads of spare time which just seems to be spent drunk!

a@Andoutcomethewolves I dint know anyone who is able to live on £400 a month. No one can. UC or not.

I would leave it until December if you can and then review the budget as a family. If you can't afford the extra £100 a month then it will either have to reduce or stop. You could give supermarket vouchers rather than cash but I think this would be controlling and it would be better to learn to budget. Our DC gets minimum loan to live on and we are giving them enough to cover the rent in self-catered halls. We do expect them to have a summer job and use that to top up next year's expenses.

Minimum maintenance loan is £4767. Most universities have 30 weeks plus freshers week. Thats £153 a week or £22 a day.

In the first year when in halls that is doable. In the second year and third year when they have to pay for bills throughout the whole year it isnt a lot of money. But they tend not to go out as much in years 2 and 3

Your DD is now an adult and has to learn to budget and prioritise for herself. Once she gets given assignments she'll have to get on with those. Uni often has a very slow start. £50 a week is not just for food it has to buy toiletries, pay for laundry powder and fabric conditioner, photocopies, bus fares and stationery too.

I worked nearly full time up until about the Feb of my 3rd year to finish studying and got a 2:1, I got no financial help from parents. I loved my job and having uni/work mates to go out with, and had a very active social life!! To be fair this was 20 odd years ago and retail/hospitality don't seem to have the wages budget they did back then. I could literally tell them when I could come in and I'd get all the hours under the sun/full time + in holidays.
I'm a single parent now and I just couldn't afford to help my child with loads of money for uni if she chooses to go. I honestly don't know how people do it. By all means let her settle and have fun but getting a job and paying your way is an absolute necessity. The earlier you learn about paying your way the better!!

Wait until she has her first essay or other assignment due!

She’ll slow down then, or fail. Sounds like failure might be a good wake up call for her.

Part of the university experience is the social life. Especially in the first few months. I wouldn’t personally have an issue with funding my dc. I’d love that he was having the time of his life and would just remind him he’s also there to do some work. It calms down a bit once the initial novelty has passed as well. Did you not go to university ?

What @titchy said.

Also check if where she is there are student jobs/ reasonable part-time jobs around before you say she must get one. DS works to top up his funds but in the holidays at home not in term-time.

Assuming she’s getting her loan plus you pay her rent & phone and £25 on top then she’s getting loads more than my two get.

my son is on minimum loan. He uses all of that on rent plus we have to top up. He then gets about £65 per week from us. Food, phone, travel absolutely everything else has to come out of that plus he’s trying to save for postgrad costs.

so he works.

Does she have a student credit card or overdraft? I'd be worrying she's taking on debt to fund her socialising.

She's currently making friends and socialising so give her a break, she'll settle in and start studying soon enough
Just give her the first term or semester at least then job time

25 quid a week is pittance.

She's not going to be telling you funny stories of studying is she? It's boring, there's nothing to tell. And they're barely even starting studying, she isn't in the exams and coursework bit yet, she's in the settle in bit.

I’d be worried she’s burning through her first student loan payment at a rate of knots and will run out of money before the next payment.

So how much exactly is she getting a week - £25 + another £25 + £180 so £230 in total ? That sounds way too much to me especially if she is pissing it away, I'd stop giving her the extra money, £180 is enough.

She has all her accommodation paid for plus 25 a week for food and her phone bill paid for.

Do you pay for her accommodation? Does she get the maintenance loan?

I spend £100 a week or less on food now for 3 person household 🤔

More than enough I meant to say. My DD lives off £300 a month that we send and we pay her phone and sports club fees.

I have friends on UC. Unless you get extra money for PIP or something that is what you get as a single adult aged over 25. Maybe 'just about survive with the help of food banks and charity' might be more accurate.

https://www.gov.uk/universal-credit/what-youll-get

Obviously rent is usually covered by housing benefit.

How much money is she actually getting in total?
How much is left over after the accommodation is paid for?

I can't understand how she can be getting drunk on 25 quid a week.
There's just no way. Where's the money coming from?

If you explain exactly how much money she is getting, how much in loans and how much from you, maybe people might be able to give better advice.

If she's only getting 25 a week to live on, that's fuck all. I had that much 30 years ago and it was enough then, but no way would that be enough now.

I’d also add that just because she’s not talking to you about the academic side of her course, that doesn’t mean she’s not fully engaged in it. I never really spoke to my parents about the actual studying because a) it was so routine that when I was telling them about my week it wasn’t something that stood out as something important or fun to discuss, unlike a mishap on a night out; b) I did a degree that my parents couldn’t really relate to (English Lit) so even if I did mention what I’d been working on it wouldn’t have been an interesting topic of conversation for them; and c) I didn’t want to stress them out at all or have them micromanage me, which I knew they’d do if I discussed deadlines and essay plans - it might be that your daughter is similar.

Wow, you're all very generous! I had no financial help from either parent at uni and managed absolutely fine. Why are we not teaching kids independence and financial maturity!!?

There is a parental contribution built in to the student loan. Many students only get the minimum amount, so there is an expected £5000-6000 contribution from parents- per year. Which still won’t even cover living costs. I don’t know anyone who would expect financial independence from their 18 year old with those figures. So much worse than when I went to university.

Well aware of how much you can get with UC.
And ‘just about to survive’ is what I meant. It’s not living on £400.
You can’t. You survive thanks to charities/food banks/help with family&friends if you can.

fwiw there are many students who actually use food banks too.
The so called students loan is often nowhere near en
ugh when/esp if parents don’t contribute heavily too.

I think op is saying she’s got £4700 min loan plus they were paying phone and topping her up and paying halls.
Student live on min loan and parents pay accommodation is a very common set up - it’s over £100 a week for the weeks at uni.

If parents earn £60,000 between them yp gets £4700 loan. Rent in bog standard halls can be £7000 or 8000 a year or more. Parents are expected to top up min loan to max loan. They can’t be forced but the expectation is set out in the loan paperwork.
Unless they have worked a year and saved they will struggle to make enough from a pt job if parents don’t pay their required amount. Parental contribution to max loan from min is £5500 a year. This is for England. Wales and Scotland much more generous schemes.