Missed Open Day visits

[PennywisePoundFoolish]

As background to explain the situation, DS2 is ASD, he had quite severe anxiety and depression in YR11. He's recovering well and has gone from 50% school attendance to 99%. He still struggles a bit with stuff like choosing universities etc. He's predicted AA in Maths and Further Maths and B in Biology

I've been quite unwell myself (I had a breakdown) and also have 3 other ASD DC.

So we've missed the open days for universities he's interested in and I don't know what I can do, if anything.

What is my best way forward, I'd really appreciate any advice. The only person on either side of the family to go to university is my brother, and I'm struggling to read up and understand how it all works

this weekend is fully booked but the 28th doesn't appear to be. However I'm not sure where I got the idea it was under consideration from.

Yes - https://www.exeter.ac.uk/study/undergraduate/visit/

It says fully booked but from my memory of the May open day, you will be able to wander round campus and go to the “subject fair”‘and you may be able to get on a subject talk if you arrive early and others don’t show up.

OP said so in one of her posts

I'd also like to remind him that don't feel pressured to go to university straight from school. My dd has asd too and benefitted from a gap year, in retrospect 3 years would have been better still (she dropped out due to COVID and since restarted and finished. Schools push kids to apply in year 13 but it's not right for everyone

I think the idea of an open day locally is a good one. Our local uni is always keen for bums on seats and thus has open days all through the autumn - just to get a feel of "a uni" and how it works could be really useful.

Also agree with those who say be aware of distance. I am very grateful that in the end DD ended up at a uni quite close by - it was a godsend in a number of ways.

Funnily enough although we booked all the visit days in advance, we were never asked for proof on any of them.

Might be worth him looking at UEA (Norwich) and University of Kent (Canterbury). Both a bit closer to home and good for ND students. Kent has 2 open days still to come, not sure about UEA as we went earlier this month but there is usually more than one. Always useful to visit more local ones to get a feel for what universities are about, I've done that with DS1 who didn't know where he wanted to go.

OP not all universities do contextualised degrees and they don't use the same criteria eg Durham don't score on first in family and their additional needs criteria is separate. Their list he needs to be getting free school meals and then two of the five criteria that are Deprivation of home address, being a care leaver, being estranged from your parents, being from a state school.

Makes sure he/you are speaking to individual universities he's interested in to check

@PennywisePoundFoolish , your ds he is relying on getting a contextual offer from Durham and Bath but those actually enrolled on the courses have achieved AStar A A as the lowest grades at Durham and AAA at Bath. This data is on the UCAS website for all to see.

Speak to his school about getting his B in biology up to an A via extra support and look at more local unis.

I know you aren’t looking for advice on his choices, but Chichester stands out as one that usually accepts candidates with much lower grades than your DS is expecting. Even if he wants a very safe option, I’d suggest he could aim higher.
Is he perhaps choosing unis in beautiful historic cities? Durham, York, Bath, Chichester- they have that in common! Perhaps less so Exeter …

DSD1 read Maths at York and loved it. There is a direct train from York to Stevenage a couple of times a day that takes less than 2 hours (although you'll need to drive cross country to pick up).

The pastoral care was excellent (albeit a few years ago).

Southampton has an open day this weekend I think? Any use? Or Sussex also coming up.

Worth going to look round any that you can fit in that are within reach grade wise because sitting in introductory talks in lecture theatres, looking round unions, visiting accommodation halls helps them to imagine being at uni and therefore what they would prefer is small vs large, city vs campus, trad v modern etc

I would avoid visiting any that grades are way out of reach though

Contact the uni/department and see if they will meet you during half term. Some may offer a one to one tour with a student. Also try to meet the Student Support office. You can still visit informally but you won't get sample lectures , tours etc. Otherwise most unis have virtual tours online and will answer questions by email . If he submits a ucas application he may be invited to applicant and/or offer holder days after Christmas which will cover similar to open days.

That's not been our experience of Bath. ASD child, struggled massively in yr1 of a maths degree. Completely useless personal tutor; Dchild was left in a sink or swim situation, with almost no "reasonable adjustments". If they finish their degree, it will not be because of any actual support that Bath university has given them.

Dchild regrets not taking a year out after a levels, thinks that would have prepared them better for living independently somehow.

I totally agree with other posters, saying that you might want to consider somewhere easy and quick to get to - your son might cope a lot better than mine have, but for my ASD kids at university, it's been one struggle after another. Mine still need a lot of emotional support, and it's been handy for us that the journeys between home and university are relatively short and straightforward.

Good luck.

We've only done one open day so far, and ASD yr13 kid found the sheer volune of people overwhelming.

We're planning to do self guided campus tours for the remainder.

I do appreciate all the replies but I'm really not trying to be awkward but I'm not getting into a discussion on his preferences; he's aware a couple are aspirational but it's his maths teachers who feel these aren't totally out of reach. You don't have to believe me, but his teachers tell me they've never had a student with maths ability like DS2 before and have said their input into his application will be reflecting this. I have no idea what weight it holds, if any.

On a personal level, a young lad at my work went to Durham and had a horrible experience as he didn't connect with the majority of students there. The lad and my son are similar in terms of backgrounds and personality. I've shared this with DS2 but he's still interested in it, so rightly or wrongly, I want to support him. It might be because my dad's side of the family are from Durham, though none live there anymore?

He's very against going to a London University, why I'm not sure. I think as someone said, the locations are a big pull to him.

I feel York would be a good choice for him and I actually have a lecturer from York on my FB friends list, so I may drop her a DM. The feedback here on it is reassuring.

he also feels he can get an A in Biology, time will tell.

I'm used to long distance emergencies as my mum moved back to Scotland, so I had a few dashes back and forth before she passed. I do also still have my dad who's up north who would help and my in-laws are retired but active, so can also help.

I think we'll see how the 3 top go and see if he wants to check some others when he has a feel for things.

I'll definitely make contact and see if we can get the logistics together for an October visit. Tricky with 3 other DC and work but I'll find a way.

Thanks again it's been so helpful to know we've tike yet to get this sorted

@PennywisePoundFoolish there’s open days at Warwick this weekend and Nottingham the following. Still places I believe. My DS wants to study maths and is going to them..

Yes, has he considered looking at Warwick, if he's a very able mathematician (and doesn't want London)? MORSE might be right up his street.

While it's fine for him to have a couple of aspirational choices which have standard requirements more than his predicted grades (especially if he may get a contextual offer), I'm really not sure it'd be in his best interests to encourage him to look at an even more selective one.

@PennywisePoundFoolish we went to Durham for an open day. There's a mobile app you can download with audio tours and general information on it. It's called DU Tours on the App Store. Worth an in-person visit if you can.

True enough. Typical offer A star, A star, A, with possible contextual reduction in the non maths grade, though?

If Warwick is one of the other possibles, there are open days on the 5th and the 19th of October and spaces available at both.

I agree with this

Hello, I thought I'd update this a little. DS2's UCAS application went off last week and he's had an offer from Exeter University ABB, which is under his predicted grades.
I'm so pleased for him, and again thanks for all the responses before

Well done both 😊
I was coming on here to say that DD2 went to no open days but did visit the cities and wander around the campus. There's plenty online.