Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Missed Open Day visits

54 replies

PennywisePoundFoolish · 30/09/2024 12:13

As background to explain the situation, DS2 is ASD, he had quite severe anxiety and depression in YR11. He's recovering well and has gone from 50% school attendance to 99%. He still struggles a bit with stuff like choosing universities etc. He's predicted AA in Maths and Further Maths and B in Biology

I've been quite unwell myself (I had a breakdown) and also have 3 other ASD DC.

So we've missed the open days for universities he's interested in and I don't know what I can do, if anything.

What is my best way forward, I'd really appreciate any advice. The only person on either side of the family to go to university is my brother, and I'm struggling to read up and understand how it all works

OP posts:

BananaGrapeMelon · 30/09/2024 12:17

You can still go and look around a university, even if it's not an official open day, to get a feel for the town etc. Or he could fill in his UCAS form without seeing any universities, then if he gets an offer there will usually be an "offer holders day" at each uni next spring to help him decide.

clary · 30/09/2024 13:12

Yes agree - go and have a look at any he might be interested in. When DS was in year 12/13 it was in the middle of Covid and there were very few open days - so we just went for a stroll round the campuses of various unis. Yes we couldn't go into any buildings but we got an idea of what was where and how it felt.

With a uni being open (ie I mean in term time) you can certainly go into department buildings - maybe call or email and ask about it in advance? They will probs be happy to welcome you.

Also yy to offer days - DD found these really useful. Not everyone goes to or can go to open days. Loads of into online too.

Jamlighter · 30/09/2024 13:13

Don't panic. As well as going by yourselves and looking round there may be campus tours which show you round and show the accommodation, you just don't get to speak to subject tutors/clubs etc. These are listed on the websites. There are also virtual tours for many universities, some you have to book to watch on specific days, others are just there on the website to view at any time. Lots of places still have open days, there is an online list you can check.

It's all about lists really, what he likes and doesn't like. it feels like a lot to think about but you still have loads of time and it will become clear. The UCAS website, What Uni and Student room are all really helpful.

MelodyMalone · 30/09/2024 13:19

If you have the chance, definitely go and look around any he's interested in - it's the only way to really get a feel for a place. That's how DD decided on St Andrews, which she hadn't really thought about but loved as soon as she saw it (and is now in first year there).

As mentioned, there are also usually offer holder days, but that doesn't really help in deciding which to apply for in the first place.

MarchingFrogs · 30/09/2024 15:43

Googling 'university campus tours' brings up lots of places which have in person / virtual tours, or both. You can also usually download a guide to do a self-guided tour. You may not get to see into accommodation on a campus tour, but there are loads of 'room tour' videos on YouTube.

Some universities still have open days to come in the next month or so.

Which are the universities your DS is interested in, @PennywisePoundFoolish ? There are possibly / probably people looking at this thread who are familiar with them.

YellowAsteroid · 30/09/2024 16:00

Are you sure there NO Open Days left for the universities/programmes he's interested in? I'm still doing the next 3 Saturdays on shifts to staff our Departmental information desk! (so much for work-life balance BS)

I know most places ask you to book (we do), but really that's about numbers & stats. So if there are any Open Days near you, why not go along just to see the inside of a university?

Or as others say, just go & visit. It is unlikely that staff will be abre to show you around individually, but a lot of universities have a self-guided tour option, and many have open access to large lecture theatres & libraries, during 9-5 business hours.

There's also a lot your DS can do via university websites. Get him to go past the UCAS advertising, and look at the public pages for "Current Students." And look at the Student Union/Guild pages. There will be links to all the clubs and societies there.

Original poster

PennywisePoundFoolish · 30/09/2024 16:36

Thanks so much for the reassuring replies. I had no idea visiting at other times was a option, I'm completely clueless.

His aspirational choices are Durham, and Bath, with York as the safe choice. We're in Essex so a bit of a trek, but I'm determined to get this sorted out. He does have a few others he was interested in, but those are the top ones.

Durham's open day was the 21st so we've missed that, Bath is showing June, but I assume that's for the 2026 prospective students. York I couldn't find anything, just to sign up for emails about it.

I'll get him onto the online to the online tours and student pages too. He's open to other universities, Exeter and Chichester I think

OP posts:

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2024 16:40

What subject is he going to be applying for?

Lancelottie · 30/09/2024 16:41

I don't want to tread on his dreams in any way.

But.

If he has ASD, and has been quite severely depressed, you may find yourselves doing emergency runs to his university at short notice, or he may need to come home to unwind. A university that feels a long way for an open day is going to feel a very long way away if you get that call at midnight in November.

It's something we'd do differently if DS had his university time again.

Original poster

PennywisePoundFoolish · 30/09/2024 17:01

It will be a maths degree- he's particularly able with statistics.

I hear you, and I'm not going to pretend I'm not concerned at the distance, but we don't feel we can put him off his potential choices. His identity is (rightly or wrongly) very tied to his maths ability and these particular universities appeal to him.

I didn't think staying at his school for A Levels would work at all as Yr11 was just hideous but, after a wobbly start (and beginning medication) he's really flourished.

It might well be visiting makes him think again.

OP posts:

Original poster

PennywisePoundFoolish · 30/09/2024 17:02

Sorry I keep forgetting to tag people

OP posts:

Era · 30/09/2024 17:07

Id second what a PP said about encouraging him to look slightly closer to home. Durham from essex is a long way and it's quite common for them to feel like they need to pop home for a weekend if they're feeling overwhelmed. If you add anxiety into that I'd recommend looking at a 2 hour radius

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2024 17:17

I think both Durham and bath standard requirements for maths are very high, the predicted B in biology may unfortunately make it unlikely either will give him an offer unless maybe he's eligible for some sort of contextual lower offer.

So he really does need to make sure his other 3 are realistic and acceptable to him.

YellowAsteroid · 30/09/2024 17:20

Why not see if a university near home has an Open Day - not to apply, but just to look at what a university might be like for him, and for him to start thinking through how he would live on campus and how he would cope?

That might be as important for him as the course itself. If he's looking at Maths, then he can see online at those universities you've mentioned what the course is like.

But the more general university environment might also be useful to look at, and say, at Essex (a beautiful campus!) he could go on a week day during term time and see what a university full of students feels like for him. You can go to the cafeterias in the Student Union, you can usually look around the Library, and just get a general feel for being at university.

harridan50 · 30/09/2024 17:21

I would say that Baths pastoral care is very good

DeadsoulsAngel · 30/09/2024 17:31

Bathdef have a virtual tour. DD missed their open day too 😀

Original poster

PennywisePoundFoolish · 30/09/2024 17:45

He will be eligible for contextual offers. I know the criteria varies but he ticks a few because of where we live, his school and no immediate family that has attended university, as well as autism and a couple of other diagnoses.

I do appreciate the input on his choices but I'd purposefully not put them in the OP as I'm not looking to talk him out of anything, and his mentor feels these are reasonable ones too.

I'll see if wants to have a mooch around our local one again, he did go on a school trip there but was a couple of years ago now. also to Oxford and Cambridge

OP posts:

RitzyMcFee · 30/09/2024 17:52

At least York and Durham are easily accessible on the train. You could get a 'just the two of us' or whatever it's called railcard and do it that way.

Bagualious · 30/09/2024 17:54

If you can, then October half term is a good time to visit as all the students will be at the universities. Durham can feel very quiet when the student population isn't there.

I would be looking at the pastoral and student support side of any university he is considering. I think he should also be looking at his school providing an exceptional circumstances part to his UCAS considering where he was in year 11 and where he is now.

I would consider logistics of if you need to go to him. Our child is about 2 1/2 hours away and should be fine but Dh has told him he can work from any hotel room so if we are needed we can be there.

Some people make a few days of it so start up in Durham, then stay overnight somewhere and come down the East coast to York for a visit.

Lenelovich · 30/09/2024 18:29

@PennywisePoundFoolish my son is hoping to study maths at uni next year and Durham and York are amongst his choices. Visited both and tbh we loved York, seemed very down to earth and lecturers approachable. Student residences weren’t amazing considering the cost but perfectly acceptable and the campus was very green and leafy with a lake in the centre. He doesn’t have ASD but isn’t the most extrovert and struggles in noisy busy places occasionally. He felt very much at home there. It’s a good idea to do some of the online visits as mentioned by pp. You could equally visit and have a mooch around yourselves. Maybe ring and find out if it’s possible to have a one to one tour or something ? Good luck anyway, it’s such a stressful time !

SockFluffInTheBath · 30/09/2024 19:10

Someone’s already mentioned applicant/offer holders days, but they’re a really good chance to get a good look into the department before you commit to a choice. DS didn’t apply to the unis he’d visited on open days, and the applicant days really swung it for him.

ThePure · 30/09/2024 19:18

There's so much info on uni websites these days. Many of them have virtual tours of the campus and the accommodation. I guess with so many overseas applicants. A lot have online Open Days too. I have taken DD to quite a few but honestly I think you could find most of it out just by researching on the website and maybe going for a look round the town.

Daisymay2 · 30/09/2024 19:20

My DC were not interested in Essex which is our nearest University, but both went to open days there.
Southend campus has open day on 12th October and both Exeter and Colchester campus on 28th October

SheilaFentiman · 30/09/2024 19:24

@PennywisePoundFoolish Exeter is this weekend, I think

FiveGoMadInDorset · 30/09/2024 19:25

my ASD DD only went to one open day which was Chichester, it was really useful to get a feel of a university but even more helpful to be made aware of what help is available (applied for DSA) which is universal in all universities, also how to apply for accommodation and finance, DH she has ended up at Queens Belfast which we only went to last February and walked around the outside and the city to get a feel for it

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread