Uni starters 2024

[radiator2]

The countdown is on. Uni move in has started for some unis and is right around the corner for others. How are we all feeling? Wishing the best of luck to all freshers!

Mine has too. Have Facetimed her tonight and she has introduced me to some of her flatmates. They all get on so well and have been out most nights. 3 girls and 2 boys. They are besties already. They have also adopted a few from other quieter flats who now come round and also go out with them. She has been so lucky. She really has struck gold.

Funnily enough DS has made a friend who lives relatively local to us and supports our rival football team…think Canaries and Tractors! They’ve bonded over football…DS said I never thought I’d be friends with one of them.

Fingers crossed. More opportunities open up over the next term, it is tough at the time but they will get through it.

DS seems to have settled in well. He's enjoyed freshers week and has been out every night except one where he felt under the weather

He likes all his flatmates except one.

They've been out together a few times

He's joined a couple of societies and explored the local area

He did his laundry tonight for the first time and sent me a text asking what temp to use

He's been shopping a few times for food and kitchen supplies

He starts his lectures next week so will hopefully feel less under the weather

I'm pleased he's settling in well so far

I’d definitely encourage him to ask to go on nights out with people he meets on course or societies. Loughborough has a reputation as social I’m sure he’ll be ok. My DD’s flat have two adoptees that now come each night out, they seem pleased to be viewed as a flat people want to join with.

@fussygalore118 That sounds emotionally hard for both you and your DD, I hope things pick up for her this coming week. My DD has been put in a tiny flat in halls and it’s been a non starter socially. She’s had to try find people from other flats in the halls to try to do things with.

Hi, she seemed to really enjoy the trip. She did go with one friend so not alone. But enjoyed the travelling around Morocco and meeting other international students. It was an experience and she could add it to her CV as a talking point. See how he feels but by next summer, they will be so much more grown up and independent than they are right now (most of them 😀).

Well...we visited DD in London on Saturday. She has changed so much - more grown up and capable. I was told off for fussing when I checked on something she had needed to do 'it's OK mum, I've got this. You don't need to worry'. The little girl has gone and she's toughened up. I have no concerns about her now and I believe she will be fine. She has reached out for support from the mental health team (she has EUPD) and they are putting things in place for if she relapses.

She started her course yesterday and had a blast - it's everything she hoped for. As a bonus, one of the tutors from her Art Foundation course here also tutors the Graphic Design degree course there.

@SedentaryCat this is so good to hear. I'm pleased for you.

My DD keeps on thriving and I keep on being delighted and blown away. In the dark recesses of my mind, though, there's a voice saying "this is too good to be true. Either it's all about to go horribly wrong or she's hiding something bad." I wonder if this is a feature of parenting adults in general?

I am in the exact same place as you right now. DD is massively happy, settled, enjoying it, thriving. But somehow I am still waiting for the wobble or the crash. It all feels too good to be true as its literally everything I wanted and wished for when she head off to uni. I hope as more time passes that I will relax and believe that this is it. I'm not expecting everything to always be smooth sailing. She will have challenging weeks but I hope she will reach out to us if she needs us, even if its just to moan about workload or have a rant. I guess this is the 'letting go' that people refer to.

Thanks, @Lulubellamozarella. I am finding relatively easy to let go because she seems genuinely sorted. She did call me last week for advice, although she didn't phrase it like that, and I only realised afterwards. That's encouraging.

Me too. I have found the 'letting go' to be much easier than expected but just because she is so sorted and settled. She is honestly just nailing it right now. Studying, washing, cooking, helping her flatmates, socialising, going out and generally adulting really well. She messages me often, but not too often, and I couldn't be more pleased and more proud. She has just made it all so much easier for me. I'm so glad yours has settled well too. xx

@SedentaryCat DD's dad visited her recently and said exactly the same thing about changing and growing up.
She's going to a social tonight but very nervous as it's the first one on her own. I completely understand the fear of it being too good to be true.

So glad to hear all your DCs are doing so well. DD has started lectures and so far it seems to be going better than she expected. Socially she’s at a weird stage. She’s made some friends, she has people to walk to lectures with or grab a coffee with but she hasn’t found a group yet. I’ve told her it takes time but someone has already started asking people about second year houses, which has thrown her a bit as she doesn’t feel close enough to anyone to house share with (she’s in a flat of 10, so it’s not really possible for them all to keep sharing next year). Personally I think it’s very early to be talking about second year houses as they’ve not even been there for two weeks yet. I’ve told her not to agree to share with anyone yet as again it’s very soon. I’m sure in time she’ll find her group, she’s lucky that she has made some friends already. But she’d worried if it doesn’t happen within the next week or so everyone else will all be grouped up

@radiator2 , at DD's uni's open day they were strongly and specifically advised by the admissions person doing the presentation NOT to commit to second year flat-shares with the people they'd just met during the first few weeks of the course. She said that these things change, relationships change, and there's no rush, although some students will make others feel like they have to commit now or there'll be nothing left.

It does seem quite common for people to start thinking alarmingly early about second year houses. I know one person who'd gone to Durham with school friends so they just agreed to house share for simplicity, and DD's ex got on really well with his Y1 flatmates so they were looking together, but this must be unusual. Quite different from my experience of getting to the end of the year, being too shy/ polite to ask to share until friends realised and abruptly started looking for bigger houses.

My daughter will be home for her birthday this weekend! She seems very happy, happier than she has been in a long, long time and she says for the first time ever she is making proper friends. She is enjoying her lectures and she is finding that everyone finds her slightly different background really interesting. She was even teaching ballet lifts to a strapping MMA fighter this week (in a session on balance and counter balance).

She's having pre birthday drinks tonight!

DD had a friend over and cooked dinner for the last night! A friend she made at one of the social events. She seems so much happier. It's such a relief, lectures have started and she loves them. Fingers crossed for this to continue and she starts to make more friends through the clubs etc!

I really wouldn’t want a yr2 flat committing to at this stage. It’s so early friendship wise.

Mine is at Glasgow Uni and hating it so far. Happy Days. Not.

What don’t they like? Mine is at Glasgow and loving it especially the social side.

He’s not met many friends and says a lot of
the people are weird when he tries to make conversation

I was surprised he went there as he knows I went to Glasgow and didn’t like it
either.

Where’s he living? Mine wanted social so deliberately chose mixed large flat in Murano. They have adopted a few from less social flats for nights out.
There seems to be so many societies and events hopefully he’ll find his people.
Is he enjoying the course?

its more during the day he finds it worse. Big gaps between lectures and finding it hard to make friends in the teaching groups. I’m not convinced it’s the right institution for him tbh and was surprised he chose it but hopefully he’ll settle soon. Course seems mixed he says some good lecturers and some rubbish ones but that’s probs same everywhere

Hope things start to go better for him.