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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Uni starters 2024

733 replies

radiator2 · 09/09/2024 12:04

The countdown is on. Uni move in has started for some unis and is right around the corner for others. How are we all feeling? Wishing the best of luck to all freshers!

OP posts:
Pedestriancrossing · 22/09/2024 14:57

Dropped DS yesterday. He's a quiet person, very independent and capable but not into big social stuff. I was dreading the drop off, tried desperately hard to not get upset but did cry just as we left, and feel guilty about that as I didn't want to upset DS. Not heard from him today and don't want to pester him. Just hoping he's ok and settling in. The house feels very empty and the poor dog keeps looking for him. I have had a stern word with myself but still feel a horrible tightness in my chest. Hopefully we'll all adjust as the days pass.

PicklerOfCrochet · 22/09/2024 16:40

Yes, Dh cried, actually he sobbed before Ds1 had even gone off to uni, just the thought of him not being here every day was enough to set him off. He is 6'3" rugby player build but as soft as a marshmallow. I think this time round we knew what to expect so we are just really sad at the minute. However, because there is a 3 year age gap Ds1 is back home doing a grad job and saving for a house. Dh and Ds's offices are about 200m apart meaning if Ds is going to be in the office (hybrid working) Dh will also go in on the same day so they commute in together. It is adorable.

On an random note, does anyone have any recommendations for a zipped waterproof shopping bag? Maybe a much smaller version of those giant laundry bags which are fabulous for moving in and laundry but too big to take to the supermarket. Ds got wet doing his shop today. Amazon results give a mixed bag of reviews.

@mrsconradfisher there are lots of room tours for Loughborough on youtube on their official site, Dh went to Loughborough it honestly is like no other uni, I visited him for his final year. Your hall has its own identity, t shirts, sports teams, there is a real sense of belonging even if you don't play, you are your hall forever (Dh dictating what I write Grin ) here is the move in day video from 2023 which may help your son with expectations. Honestly Freps fall over themselves to help freshers settle in, answer questions etc. If he is catered then the whole everyone eating together is incredibly social. Ds2 had an offer from Loughborough so we toured it twice in the last year.

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Angrymum22 · 22/09/2024 16:50

Whoops! DS came down with a cold on Wednesday. He’d been out most nights, goodbye drinks mainly although most of his close friends are at uni in the same city. It was freshers week last week at our local uni city where he was socialising so I did suspect Covid/freshers flu.
Both DH and I have come down with symptoms so I did a test out of interest ( I’m an HCP so still have them in the cupboard) and yes it’s Covid.
We dropped off DS on Fri, I’m sure he will not be the only one arriving with Covid, his friends will no doubt have carried it with them too. At least he will get it over with before he starts. He’s feeling better today but I can’t help feeling that he’s likely to be a “Typhoid Mary”.

SwedishEdith · 22/09/2024 16:50

On an random note, does anyone have any recommendations for a zipped waterproof shopping bag?

Would a big rucksack or sports kit bag work if he already has one?

DizzyDandilion · 22/09/2024 17:44

There is a zipper bag for life you can get from Tesco. Big and rectangular. Bought by accident but was great for shoving towels and the like in! Probably ok for a medium heavy shop.

mrsconradfisher · 22/09/2024 17:50

PicklerOfCrochet · 22/09/2024 16:40

Yes, Dh cried, actually he sobbed before Ds1 had even gone off to uni, just the thought of him not being here every day was enough to set him off. He is 6'3" rugby player build but as soft as a marshmallow. I think this time round we knew what to expect so we are just really sad at the minute. However, because there is a 3 year age gap Ds1 is back home doing a grad job and saving for a house. Dh and Ds's offices are about 200m apart meaning if Ds is going to be in the office (hybrid working) Dh will also go in on the same day so they commute in together. It is adorable.

On an random note, does anyone have any recommendations for a zipped waterproof shopping bag? Maybe a much smaller version of those giant laundry bags which are fabulous for moving in and laundry but too big to take to the supermarket. Ds got wet doing his shop today. Amazon results give a mixed bag of reviews.

@mrsconradfisher there are lots of room tours for Loughborough on youtube on their official site, Dh went to Loughborough it honestly is like no other uni, I visited him for his final year. Your hall has its own identity, t shirts, sports teams, there is a real sense of belonging even if you don't play, you are your hall forever (Dh dictating what I write Grin ) here is the move in day video from 2023 which may help your son with expectations. Honestly Freps fall over themselves to help freshers settle in, answer questions etc. If he is catered then the whole everyone eating together is incredibly social. Ds2 had an offer from Loughborough so we toured it twice in the last year.

Yes he knows all about the hall etc, as he had an unconditional offer he could chose the room early so he got the halls he wanted…Hazelrigg Rutland. It’s more that he doesn’t know who his flatmates are as Loughborough don’t release which specific flat etc until the day you move in. His friends at other Uni’s knew weeks ago and made friends already.

PicklerOfCrochet · 22/09/2024 18:03

@mrsconradfisher ah I see, Ds was able to see his early for Warwick when he filled in his direct debit details for his rent payments, his whole address was listed so we knew before they officially told him. It is a bit shitfor your Ds and I understand his worry. Nice accommodation though, good choice.

mrsconradfisher · 22/09/2024 18:13

PicklerOfCrochet · 22/09/2024 18:03

@mrsconradfisher ah I see, Ds was able to see his early for Warwick when he filled in his direct debit details for his rent payments, his whole address was listed so we knew before they officially told him. It is a bit shitfor your Ds and I understand his worry. Nice accommodation though, good choice.

It’s just the unknown isn’t it. Ahh that’s good to know that’s it’s good accomodation, DS picked it as he wanted an en-suite and it’s the smallest halls I think so he figured it would be easier to get to know people.

murasaki · 22/09/2024 18:15

We all had unknown back in the the day, they will be fine. Sometimes I think the social media aspect puts more pressure on if they don't get it and hear that others do, and not all places work the same. They'll find their way, and I hope all new starters have a great time.

TrixieFatell · 22/09/2024 18:26

We had the drop off today as well. Went pretty smoothly, got her stuff in and unpacked some of it (left her the rest to do tonight). Met a few of her flatmates who seemed really nice l. Then went for a spot of lunch, a walk to the campus and then the dreaded goodbye. She's messaged usna few times since we've left her and sent some Snapchat. I feel sad. She was emotional this morning but seemed happier once she saw her new home. I just hope she is ok. I'm resisting the urge to keep messaging her as I know that won't be helpful.

Investinmyself · 22/09/2024 18:59

@mrsconradfisher Dd’s uni was same only found out on arrival so no pre socialising. The flat of 12 has hit it off and have been out 9 nights in a row. But I know dd was a bit put out as it seemed like all her other friends going to other unis knew.

ShanghaiDiva · 22/09/2024 19:13

mrsconradfisher · 21/09/2024 18:54

DS goes on Wednesday to Loughborough. It’s been a very long journey to get him
to this point, I did many posts about it last year. It feels like we’ve been in this weird limbo for the last 18 months and now he’s actually going.
Loughborough don’t tell you flat details until move in day so although he knows which hall he is in, he doesn’t know anything else which is making him really anxious (and he’s not the anxious type!)
His Dad and his girlfriend are taking him up there, Im a TA so can’t get the day off and tbh I think I’d probably make it worse. I’ve made plans to go in half term so at least it will only be a few weeks until I see him.

Remember your previous posts. Wishing your ds every success. He is a very determined young man and deserves to do well!

PicklerOfCrochet · 22/09/2024 20:16

I think the main thing to remember is that although lots of people will report back that flat mates are all amazing. the usual thing is you spend your second year trying to ditch some of the "friends" you made in first year.

Just because you are at the same university sharing a flat or even on the same course doesn't mean you will always be life long friends or have anything in common. I am not saying it doesn't happen but this is why clubs and societies are so important because you are expressing an interest in the same things. So if it isn't instant in halls don't worry so much. Ds1 hated freshers, just wanted to get started as he liked routine and was not a clubber or big drinker.

Ds2 has half his flat as international students who are only speaking their language and actively excluding Ds2 when he comes into the kitchen. Luckily he is a very resilient chap, off out exploring, shopping for food and cooking. He has met 3 other flat mates who seem much more approachable and yes he did try to engage the international students in conversation, after all every lecture they have will be in English so communication shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully he will find his tribe through his course and/or societies. Still feels pretty shit though as a parent.

TrixieFatell · 22/09/2024 20:26

Ive had quite a few messages showing her room now she's unpacked it all, her telling me about dinner she's made etc. She been brave and gone into the kitchen where she's been meeting her flatmates. She's happy tonight, I know it's the first night and things won't always be like this but I'm taking it tonight

HistoryMmam · 22/09/2024 21:41

where is he @PicklerOfCrochet? Could he move halls?

ShamblesRock · 22/09/2024 22:01

I hope all are settling in. I have DD for another week as Lancaster are one of the very last to start. She's my eldest so first to see off. I went to uni but my husband didn't, so it is all completely new to him.

I've upset the youngest, as I've said she can't come with us and has to go to a friend's house on the day, it's too long to leave her (12) and her brother (16) alone (he has autism) I've packed him off no problem, but she's been more difficult (we have no family locally). I think it will be her who will be most upset - to the point that I will probably contact pastoral support at her school to let them know.

PineappleCake100 · 22/09/2024 22:33

Did not realised how dc going off to university would affect everyone left behind. Shamblesrock, I hope the younger sister will be ok.

We moved dc into halls today, the whole process of collecting keys etc was great, however the room on arrival was musty/smelly and we discovered corners of the room smelt of urine.

We know it's not a hotel, but it felt like it hadn't been cleaned. We went for the mid-range halls, costing 7k pa. Not cheap! Accommodation ranged from 4.5k-10k pa

Dc is putting up with it, but we were disappointed for them.

We went out for food and purchased marigolds and carpet cleaners and scrubbed the carpet. In hindsight should have raised to the block management but what would they have done?

Has anyone experienced the accommodation not up to standard?. If we had gone for the basic accommodation we would have had lower expectations I guess...

TicketyBoo11 · 23/09/2024 00:35

PineappleCake100 · 22/09/2024 22:33

Did not realised how dc going off to university would affect everyone left behind. Shamblesrock, I hope the younger sister will be ok.

We moved dc into halls today, the whole process of collecting keys etc was great, however the room on arrival was musty/smelly and we discovered corners of the room smelt of urine.

We know it's not a hotel, but it felt like it hadn't been cleaned. We went for the mid-range halls, costing 7k pa. Not cheap! Accommodation ranged from 4.5k-10k pa

Dc is putting up with it, but we were disappointed for them.

We went out for food and purchased marigolds and carpet cleaners and scrubbed the carpet. In hindsight should have raised to the block management but what would they have done?

Has anyone experienced the accommodation not up to standard?. If we had gone for the basic accommodation we would have had lower expectations I guess...

Yes. Felt a bit disappointed for my DS as his room clearly had not been cleared. We didn’t want to make a fuss so it was rubber gloves on and get stuck in. Not a great first impression. We’re all taken for a ride by these Unis and the cost is so high..

BoreOffAboutYerChickensEmma · 23/09/2024 01:00

PineappleCake100 · 22/09/2024 22:33

Did not realised how dc going off to university would affect everyone left behind. Shamblesrock, I hope the younger sister will be ok.

We moved dc into halls today, the whole process of collecting keys etc was great, however the room on arrival was musty/smelly and we discovered corners of the room smelt of urine.

We know it's not a hotel, but it felt like it hadn't been cleaned. We went for the mid-range halls, costing 7k pa. Not cheap! Accommodation ranged from 4.5k-10k pa

Dc is putting up with it, but we were disappointed for them.

We went out for food and purchased marigolds and carpet cleaners and scrubbed the carpet. In hindsight should have raised to the block management but what would they have done?

Has anyone experienced the accommodation not up to standard?. If we had gone for the basic accommodation we would have had lower expectations I guess...

A colleague’s daughter arrived at halls today to find the room seemed clean, but there was a lots of toenails clippings all over the carpet. 🤢 They went to the accommodation officer and they were moved immediately.

PicklerOfCrochet · 23/09/2024 06:17

@HistoryMmam he is at Warwick in his first choice hall. His room is perfect in terms of location for him, what it overlooks, the kitchen is amazing with plenty of storage and fridge and freezer space so there is no way I want to move him and he doesn't want to move either. I just hope as the term goes on the ESLs will start to practise their English more, I think it is more the familiarity of people speaking your language and the first weekend in a new country. Funnily enough Ds2 has had a set of friends since year 7 and 3 of them are ESL and only speak their own language at home so this isn't something he is unused to.

A lot of times the whole flat doesn't bond it is groups of 3 or 4 but everyone rubs along together. Ds1 had this in his first year too, 3 of them were neat and tidy and bonded over that, the rest lived like absolute filthy pigs. Warwick seem to have a more hands on attitude to this sort of thing that Ds1's uni.

@PineappleCake100 awful when the room isn't clean. I don't think you should expect less if they were in less expensive halls. Just a shame it wasn't cleaned well. I would have reported it but it might not have been something they could deal with there and then. They will have had a contract to deep clean all the rooms over summer. I like your can do attitude, buying gloves and cleaning products, I would have done the same.

@ShamblesRock it is hard for the ones left behind but your eldest can face time your youngest to help her with it. They will be home before Christmas, and usually the holidays are longer. Ds1 had 4 weeks off at Christmas, 5 weeks at Easter and then finished the very end of May when exams were completed so home for 4 months for summer!

HistoryMmam · 23/09/2024 07:02

I understand @PicklerOfCrochet I think there are halls at Warwick which are more social so maybe he’ll make friends there in due course. Once the societies and his course kick in I’m sure things will change.

PicklerOfCrochet · 23/09/2024 07:59

@HistoryMmam thanks, it's welcome week so it all starts today, he was just the first into his flat on Thursday, they all moved in Friday then more came in on the weekend. He is a very sociable chap so he should be fine. We are back down to him this weekend to bring more stuff as there was only so much we could fit in the car so that will be nice to see him.

daffodilandtulip · 23/09/2024 08:10

Slightly off topic, but for those who extended their child benefit to cover the college years, does that automatically stop or do we have to inform them somehow that they've gone?

ShanghaiDiva · 23/09/2024 08:16

@PicklerOfCrochet my ds studied at Warwick and there were a lot of overseas students. There were some people in his flat that never spoke to anyone else. Nevertheless he made some good friends and three of them shared a house in years two and three. Ds was in lakeside.

PicklerOfCrochet · 23/09/2024 08:20

@ShanghaiDiva thanks for that. I am hoping he meets some more people this week especially as he has intro to his subject today.