Current Oxbridge students - continued again...!

[Panicmode1]

Think the other thread is full....!

It's nothing! It's just a thing you know you have.

There's usually sports kit in the O or C blue, with some sort of coded marking. He might have to buy it himself though - you could offer to pay for that.

@HoneyMobster congratulations to your DS1 on his graduation. Despite the cold weather, I bet it was a brilliant event and you must be very proud of him.

Lots of transitions happening on this thread. @Malbecfan it must feel really emotional to have your DD2 officially moving out. Good luck with the drive and it's lovely that your DD1 will help with the move too.

@LaundryFairy that's a big deal for your DS to be restarting at a different college to do his masters, even if he's familiar with Oxford generally. I hope he has a great time and still wish my DS2 (and DS1) had done masters after their first degrees, as the time went past far too quickly, especially with all the Covid restrictions in their first year and the second term done from home.

@PettsWoodParadise how nice that your DD is one of the Oxbridge mentors at her old school.

@PermanentTemporary good luck to your DS if he rows again this year and also if he does a fourth year too.

@Panicmode1 all the best to your DS returning for his 3rd year and I hope he continues to enjoy the rowing, if he keeps this up.

I expect many of those with DCs about to start at O and C are now only a short while away from moving in to college. I hope no one is too daunted and realises that everyone else, even those who appear to be at ease and very confident, are still full of trepidation and wanting to fit in, be accepted by their peers and do as well as they've done at school.

Loads of people think they have to shine academically straightaway and may have been used to being at the top, at school. It can be a huge adjustment to come to terms with just getting by and even struggling to keep up. So please emphasise to your DCs that they've done brilliantly just getting offered a place.

You too, as parents, have also done amazingly well to be there for your DCs through the ups and downs. Dropping them off for that first term is bound to be emotional. Hope everyone a has safe and easy journey to O and C, especially after the recent torrential rains.

I expect many of those with DCs about to start at O and C are now only a short while away from moving in to college. I hope no one is too daunted and realises that everyone else, even those who appear to be at ease and very confident, are still full of trepidation and wanting to fit in, be accepted by their peers and do as well as they've done at school.

Loads of people think they have to shine academically straightaway and may have been used to being at the top, at school. It can be a huge adjustment to come to terms with just getting by and even struggling to keep up. So please emphasise to your DCs that they've done brilliantly just getting offered a place.

This is so true and such wise advice @mutterphore - I know DS massively struggled with this bit of life at Oxbridge - he had never struggled with anything academically and it was a bit of an eye opener for him to no longer be the best of the best (he was part of an extremely academic cohort at a superselective grammar).

Good luck to everyone with the return to uni over the next few days/week or so - especially the new starters - I hope that they all take to it like ducks to water and that you, as parents, have a positive and happy 'drop off' day - despite the traffic challenges in the respective cities!

We dropped DS off in Cambridge today. Road closures and various other inconveniences made it more tiring and frustrating than previous drop-offs, but we got there in the end, and he has a nice spacious room very conveniently located for the lab and the department in general.

He has a gentle start this week, with only a handful of meetings and induction activities.

He has signed up to be a lab demonstrator for first year undergraduate practicals.

I'm with you on the road closures @Ironoaks ! DD2 loaded the car last night saying "um are you happy to see behind using only the wing mirrors?" The car was pretty full so I decided to use just motorways (M5, M4, M25, A1M) but the traffic gods conspired against me because part of the A1M was shut. DH made us late setting off - sadly not a unique experience - but we were on the road by 7:15. The diversion was not a huge issue and we made it by 10:45. DD told the LL it would be late morning or early afternoon so he and his wife were frantically cleaning the flat. DH, DD and I unloaded most of her stuff into her bedroom so as not to get in the way, then just as I was about to kill someone for a coffee and a wee, DD1 arrived from C. We had lunch together at a nice cafe sitting out in the sun watching the planes drop in to Luton. Then went to finish unloading the car - DD1 and DH carried the mattress up, then DH built the bedside table and the DDs and I listening to the football and sorted the kitchen. DD needs Virgin Media to come back to sort out a connection for her but she has done a great job organising all utilities etc by herself. DD1 now feels a bit left behind as she's the only one not working - ha ha! We did well coming home and were back just over 11 hours after leaving here.

I feel utterly exhausted Malbecfan. I hope you congratulated yourself with a take out from Krispies or whatever is the new best take out in town. I just couldn't do what you've just done, knowing the journey. Sleep well!

(This is the first late Sept/ early Oct since 2008 which doesn't feature a drop off. I actually enjoyed the drop offs, the new rooms, lunch out etc. 2020 was the big one: DS3's stuff to Cambridge, DS4's to Oxford and DD4's to Oxford too, all over a single weekend. That was the year I encountered the head spinning number of roundabouts in Milton Keynes (managed not to crash). It was a weird year for dropping off with both Cambridge and Oxford eerily quiet).

Thanks @pivoinerose . I cooked when we got home but I did have a large Pimms (or the cheaper Tesco equivalent). I don't actually mind driving but DH is a nightmare passenger. He can't/won't check Google maps, he moans about whatever I'm listening to on the radio, and when I rang DD2 from the car completely legally because he couldn't find HIS bloody car key, he yakked loudly over her. I was listening to a football commentary most of the way and the number of times he asked bloody stupid questions - it made teaching KS3 a doddle. In fact, KS3 kids would have paid a lot more attention. My dad is really missing her - now I have even less help...

Malbec you are legendary for having the patience of a saint :)

Oh dear Lord, I have zero patience. I just swear bloody loads!

@Malbecfan it was the closure of the Hatfield tunnel that started our run of minor hiccups, and then it just carried on from there.

DS has met one of his flatmates, who is going into the 3rd year of a PhD in Materials Science.

Was supposed to be driving DD back to Oxford today but she's decided she's not organised enough and wants to go tomorrow.

It suits me tbh. My Dad died unexpectedly this week and I'm exhausted. I need to have some difficult conversations with my sister today and the joy of the M40 would not make that easy.

@HoneyMobster I'm so sorry to hear about the unexpected death of your father. Just look after yourself and don't worry about getting your DD back to Oxford for now. She could always take a couple of days worth of belongings and go by train if she needs to be back soon and then at a later stage, you could drive her other stuff to Oxford then. I hope the difficult conversations with your sister are productive.

@Ironoaks well done to your DS for signing up to be a lab demonstrator for first year undergraduate practicals. I hope all goes really well for him this year. I'm glad he's now met one of his new flatmates.

@Malbecfan great that you've settled your DD2 into her flat but an 11 hour round trip sounds horrendous! Hope you can rest and relax a bit today, although it sounds like you always end up doing most of the work. Hope your Dad is doing as well as can be expected.

@pivoinerose it must feel really strange not to have a DC settling back into Oxford this term, after so many years with each of them there and sometimes at the same time as each other. End of an era for you.

@HoneyMobster I'm so sorry to hear your sad news - sincere condolences to you and your family and I agree with @mutterphore - I'm sure your DD could cope with a suitcase for now.

@HoneyMobster I'm very sorry to hear that. Hope you can get through one day at a time.

So sorry HoneyMobster.

Really sorry to read this @HoneyMobster . Condolences and love to all of you.

@Ironoaks - nice for your DS to be living with a 3rd year PhD student. There seem to be quite a lot of Materials Science PhD people. In DD's group there are at least 3 now writing up. In one of those life quirks, one of them who is DD's BF was taught by my new head of department in school when in years 7 & 8.

I have promised to proof-read DD1's thesis. Apparently there are only 8000 words at present. She blithely assured me it would be ready some time after Christmas, but that's when I will have 30+ Extended Projects to read and mark and another 70 or so to moderate. The look on her face was priceless. DD2's bed arrived this morning. She was going for a wander this morning but seems happy enough. Work starts tomorrow!

@HoneyMobster you did so well to hold it together for DS on Friday. Xx

So sorry for your loss, @HoneyMobster . It is so hard when there are multiple calls on your time and focus, right when you really need others to be supporting you.

So sorry for your loss @HoneyMobster

You're all very kind. It's hard having to deal with the death of a loved one when you still feel like a teenager impersonating a grown up.

So much stuff to sort out, including a very elderly cat with no one to look after it. DDog would see it off in 5 minutes.

@HoneyMobster so sorry to hear you’ve had to stay so strong at such a challenging time. I remember dropping DD off at her college for Y1 having recently heard DH was cancer free after a horrid horrid year during DD’s A levels where we didn’t know if he would make it. It was such a nice fresh and positive start for DD but for you I am so sorry it doesn’t have the same positive memories. I hope you are all able to look back in the long term and see the positives and the wins. Sending lots of hugs.

@HoneyMobster do very sorry to hear your news about your father - sudden death is so tough to process and exhausting. Do hope you can make some time for yourself amongst all the logistics of organising as well as supporting DC.

I'm so sorry to see your news @HoneyMobster. I hope the difficult conversations are not too bad. Sending love to you.

How are those of you with DC who are starting Cambridge faring? DD doesn't go til next weekend, but I know some have already started. She's my eldest and I am so excited for her but I also feel woefully unprepared - both with the packing (and not knowing if we have too much as she has to move out at end of term), and emotionally (it is going to hit me hard)!