Current Oxbridge students - continued again...!

[Panicmode1]

Think the other thread is full....!

Thanks!

If you are coming to C on Sunday (5th) it might be helpful to be aware that some roads will be closed (8am to 12noon) for the Town and Gown 10K race.

More info here www.musculardystrophyuk.org/get-involved/events/bidwells-cambridge-10k-2025/

Lovely to see everyone's updates - and see @Malbecfan has snuck back onto the thread 😊with exciting news too. I've just finished my first month in my new full on, full time job so have barely had time to breathe. DH is still applying for jobs and still not securing anything :-( so I'm now the principal breadwinner - even though my salary is about a quarter of what he used to bring in so it's a bit tough. Shame the economy doesn't look as though it's going to improve any time soon either 😔

DS heads back up on Thursday for his fourth year - he seems really excited about it and the modules he has picked, although will miss his GF who is doing her masters in Oxford, so they are trying to figure out the quickest way between the two cities...any tips?!

DD headed back for her final year (not Oxbridge) about 3 weeks ago, so it seems very late for DS to be heading back, even though it's 'normal time' for C! They have lecture strikes so her lectures, which were due to start last week, haven't.

I hope that all of the freshers are settling in well - and that those who are yet to arrive are excited (although nervous too I'm sure).

@pipgems and @Flamethrowers I also dropped mine off on Sunday. I wonder if we all listened to the same rather fabulous Master talk about creativity! I chatted to some very interesting mothers.

Not feeling bereft exactly because I’m used to him being away from home, but certainly very clucky about him settling in.

DD18 moved into her central Cambridge college yesterday - 1st year. Able to park in the grounds of her hall and her accommodation had a lift so no lugging up 5 floors of stairs. She had to be brave as her halls seemed completely empty but she went off to the JCR and has already met some likeminded freshers .Going to yoga, a Macbeth play and a mocktail evening this week so lots on for non drinking/ non clubbing freshers. The grounds of her college are so beautiful and peaceful.Room clean and big. Came away knowing she is in the right place so all very relieved.

@Malbecfan how exciting for her!

After having the flat to himself for the past few weeks, DS now has two new flatmates.

He'll be demonstrating lab practicals for first year undergraduates again - if anyone's DD/DS is doing Physics IA then he might be teaching them.

Thanks. We are returning DD - whose journey has been long, winding and difficult after becoming chronically ill - for what we hope will be the final year of an extended undergraduate degree. Think there is 1 other who matriculated with her who is also trying to finish their degree this year.

(If anyone ever wants advice about little known byways of intermission and ‘alternative methods of assessment / double time’ - and I pray you do not - do pm!)

@cantkeepawayforever I hope things go smoothly for your DD this year. I took extra time to finish my degree, back in the days when taking time out was called 'degrading'. Got there in the end, though. Well done to her for persisting and good luck for the last stretch!

I rarely see this thread but spotted @Malbecfan’s update; that’s great news and congratulations to your DD.

DS (graduated Cambridge two years ago) completed his two year grad programme at a well known Bank yesterday and is now officially an analyst. He is also completing a Master’s degree in Global Banking sponsored by his employer which is going really well. He has moved flats three times since moving to London so DH and I are still moving stuff around!

DD (graduated Oxford three years ago) has just accepted a transfer with her company to their Vancouver office. Amazingly, her boyfriend has also organised a transfer to Vancouver through his company so much excitement all round.

Very best of luck to this year’s freshers - hope they all have a fab time. And good luck to all the returners. Those three/four years go so quickly.

Sorry to hear about the bumps in the road cantkeepawayforever. The very best of luck to your DD.

ofteninaspin fabulous news for both of your DC. Impressive on the part of the bf too!

Malbec very well done as ever to DD1 - quite the powerhouse, albeit petite :)

I think one of mine (one that you taught) might be heading to a PhD in Cambridge soon. Not yet certain that that's what he'll choose.

Thank you. Quiet bravery and hard-won cheerfulness in the face of a changed life is not a thing that earns congratulations in the Oxbridge context, but I am extremely proud of DD.

cantkeepawayforever I think the tutors definitely give enormous credit to their students who've had genuine struggles, for whatever reason.

@cantkeepawayforever- sending your DD very best wishes. Both DS and DD have friends who’ve faced some really difficult times while studying at Oxford. Returning and carrying on isn’t easy. You absolutely should be proud of her.

DD is thoroughly enjoying life as a Clinical medical student. Lots of pictures of scrubs etc

First time for 4 years I’m not dropping off in Oxford as DD moved to Rome last week for her year abroad. Some may remember Oxford were particularly hopeless assisting finding a Uni to go to for the year abroad. In case anyone is looking to go abroad next year for MFL do ask. BTW I think this is an Oxford issue and Cambridge are much more organised.

On the plus side she is registered with an excellent language school in Rome for 21hrs classes a week. She says the teachers are great. Also she’s found somewhere to live which is quite a challenge. Sadly not with Italians but mixed nationalities.

Her visa allows her to work 20hrs a week and she’s got some offers of work already. No minimum wage in Italy so she’s hoping for something better.
The Uni she wants to study at are chaotic, they have no objection to her attending the classes but will not register her. And another positive it looks like she’s found a club for her sport.

So after feeling very daunted leaving home 9 days later things are coming together bit by bit. Certainly develops resilience.

In general, academics, tutors, admin etc are indeed kind and well-meaning when actively asked for support. The ‘disability tax’ of managing those 20+ e-mail chains / conversations and working out exactly who to ask for what (and indeed what can be asked for) tends to be invisible, and obviously a lot to take on for someone who arrived with no disability or illness.

Good training for life as a disabled adult, though.

I was thinking more of the respect and credit that the tutors give when someone has needed to take a year out but comes back and succeeds in completing their degree.

The real danger for students is, of course, when they're too overwhelmed by their circumstances to seek help at all. But yes, it's all a process, unfortunately - although I thought fairly well signposted these days? Perhaps not universally, from what you say.

The year off process is well documented (double time / alternate modes of assessment MUCH less so).

Ongoing support is much more of a wild ride. There is an underlying assumption that the year off / double time means the student is ‘fixed’.

As a really trivial example: a non- disabled student brings a bicycle to get to lectures. They arrive, porters register it, end of story. A disabled student needs a disability scooter (just to get to lectures / to buy food etc; they can walk short distances within department & college). They need to liaise with:

• Medics, to get a specific letter stating this is needed
• Disability services, to get this written into paperwork
• Senior Tutor, copied to College Nurse, to get permission
• Head porter, then multiple staff to find suitable storage
• Fire officer, re battery charging
• Electrician, re PAT testing
• DoS, as link to department
• Department secretary, re parking there, then multiple staff.

It is all process, but it is onerous.

It goes without saying that the scooter is an example of a single situation, repeated many, many times in all aspects of university life.

Also probably worth noting: invisible disability; significant energy impact; extremely high workload course. Our (slim) hope now is only that she can complete the course without becoming critically ill again.

Hello all, very sporadic poster here. We dropped DS’s possessions off in Oxford yesterday, in his brand spanking new year 2 college accommodation. He’s been there for a few days (rowing). The accomodation is great (interesting design, nice fit out, great kitchen) but is not great on storage - his room is ok but some literally have one small wardrobe. The other downside is that the rest of the accommodation is still being built so it is a literal building sight! He’ll be ok but I feel sorry for those whose windows look out on the building sight end!

He is so happy to be back which is just lovely.

Hope all your DD DS moves go well, whether they are just starting off or returning.

Second year drop-off accomplished. Much less distress 🤞 DD has lovely rooms in college which look like they could be much quieter than last year 🤞 She is even talking about eating in hall but I’m not holding my breath on that one…
May all the DCs flourish, particularly those who have been struggling.

Dd dropped off - first year undergraduate. Staircase socials tonight - hoping she’s got a nice bunch of people around her.

Dropped off DD yesterday - another first year but a good half of them have already 'met' on WhatsApp so loads of people already knew her name.

Room in 1970s building so quite small, with no shelves and no hooks for coats (and a door which won't take the IKEA over door hooks either). They are being kept busy for Freshers Week so I think she will be fine. I meanwhile am a soppy mess and really miss her.