Current Oxbridge students - continued again...!

[Panicmode1]

Think the other thread is full....!

@juja yes, she's been doing shopwork but was hoping for something a bit more relevant to fill her time before her masters. She wants to stay in Oxford, her bf is doing his postgrad now and they've just moved flat so they are going to be there for at least two years.

@mutterphore - best of luck to your DS 1 & 2, it's so frustrating.

Hello everyone, another newbie here; my DS is off to Oxford 4 weeks today. He does now have a reading list, with a firm instruction about what he needs to have read, and a maths test (which he curled his lip at and said it was GCSE maths - looked horrific to me!).

No idea about accommodation either - it will either be in the old or new part of the college. I’m assuming a single bed but will see if he can find out. He is utterly unbothered about all the rest though has said he’d like to take some nice family photos (bless him). I keep having random thoughts - eg I wonder if the rooms will have desk lights etc!?

Good luck with all the preparations. DS is an only child so once he’s left it’s just the two of us - that really has not sunk in yet.

None of my DC had a desk or bedside lamp provided by their college. Soft bedside lamp was always on the essential purchase list. Nor have any of mine ever been given a double bed, even in newly built/ refurbished college accommodation.

Can someone explain how ‘keeping term’ at Cambridge works in practise? Does no one ever leave for the odd weekend?

Ds has always had a desk but I don't think he had a lamp - I'm sure we took one (he upgraded it at some point).

I meant no desk lamp or bedside lamp as opposed to not being provided with a desk!

Both mine had desk lamps provided - one year DD had three - and DS had a standard floor lamp in a set (Cambridge interconnecting study and bedroom).

DS's (Cambridge) college provides the following in all their undergraduate accommodation:
Mattress protector
Duvet (newer and nicer quality than anything we have at home)
Pillows x 2
Desk lamp
Ethernet cable

Official answer: If they leave for the weekend they are supposed to inform college. If the number of nights spent in college drops below 59 (Michaelmas / Lent) or 52 (Easter) then the college may ask the student to stay extra nights after the end of term (and depending on their room contract, charge for the extra nights).

For the occasional night or weekend away, I doubt anyone is checking. If they spend a lot of time / every weekend away from Cambridge then officially they could be denied their degree.

*extra nights after the end of term but still within the 80-day window for that term for it to count.

@Ironoaks thanks for this. Only heard about it today. I get that the workload limits trips away anyway but it still seems draconian😳.

Hi everyone, am a newbie here also. Thanks for the fabulous thread and the great advice on here. DC off to Cambridge and has had their room allocation already. They have been set some work to do so is back at the maths already! They are sooooo very excited about starting.

@SeaofTranquility welcome to this friendly thread - congratulations to your DC - it must be beginning to feel real now.

My top tip is to send them with a care package with vitamin tablets, paracetamol, stencils, lemsip etc for post fresher week colds and 5th week blues. They will probably forget they have them but you can remind them when they ring under the weather and exhausted. Ideally encourage vitamin tablets every day. I am not convinced college food is the most nutritious.

Thank you @Panicmode1 for the new thread, and welcome to all the new joiners.

I have name changed since the last thread, haven’t posted for a while and still catching up. This has been a lovely supportive thread since DD started last year, Can’t believe that was a year ago. She just finished her casual job with Costa for the summer, and having a bit of a break before travelling to Spain with some friends, and will go back early for preseason training for fencing 🤺 and get settled into her new room before the year 2 NatSci academic term starts.

Plea to new students! When you get the details of your college parents, please contact them asap, as it shows you want to be part of the system.

YOUR COLLEGE PARENT CANNOT MAKE FIRST CONTACT WITH YOU.

If your parent isn't particularly interested you can then be adopted by a willing volunteer but they can't do this unless you show you agree to participate in the first place.
My student and friends are desperate to hear from their new child if it is any encouragement!

also agree about care package and glad your dd is doing ok daysnconfuddled

👏 Similarly my DC2 is waiting to hear from her college children

DD's college parents sent a letter of welcome and introduction and have since set up a group chat. She's found them helpful and friendly, they all seem very excited to get to know each other. Looking at their interests, I think they're going to get on like a house on fire and and I reckon this will prove to be a valuable support unit. Once you get past the undeniable oddness of the family terms, it's an excellent idea.

In the care package, I added chicken noodle cup-a-soup. Both DDs said it was a life-saver when they felt rough but were able to stagger to the kitchen/gyp and put the kettle on.

@Daysnconfuddled hello from a former NatSci parent. Is your DC Bio or Physics?

@Malbecfan hello, you advice has been invaluable to us last year. It’s been an intense year, but hopefully she has adapted to the big changes and being independent, and found her feet somewhat at Cambridge, so she is looking forward to year 2 with more confidence. She did well at the end of her first year exam and gained a First overall and was awarded some scholarship money by the College which was a nice surprise. That has helped to close off any lingering thoughts of imposter’s syndrome, especially as she was selected through pooling.

I think she found the long summer living back home (even though she was working) to be a bit of a reverse culture shock, and has become more grumpy and less communicative, I’m hoping it’s some delayed teenage phase she will grow out of, or maybe it’s some instinctive developmental thing that she is preparing to be I dependent.

DD is a Physical NatSci leaning more towards Chemistry, so she’ll be doing double Chemistry in Year 2. Still undecided between quantitative environmental science and maths as the 3rd option.

Great results @Daysnconfuddled and I now think I've worked out what your previous username was. Maybe it's my advancing years but I can't keep up!

I can't help on the grumpy daughter thing. DD2 - a recent non-O/C/RG graduate is home for another 3 weeks. She is working hard in a local cafe but bloody hell, she is a grumpy mare. Today, I left the house at 7.30, she left at 8.10 and DH sauntered to his office in the garage at 8.29. DD was home at 5.20, DH knocked off at 5.30 and I got home at 5.58. No prizes for who cooked, checked in with my dad, sorted bits out. DD was "too tired" to help. Not too tired to eat though!

Those who gave their children some money for Freshers, how much did you give? I want to send my daughter with some so that she can enjoy it and not have to worry about dipping into her maintenance loan.

Re college parents, DD3 had an email from her college (Oxford) with details of her college parents, saying they would come and visit her on her first day. There was a welcome message from the parents attached, which basically just said to reach out if she had any questions, and as DD doesn’t have any (yet) she hasn’t responded. I think I’ll encourage her just to drop them a quick line to say hi and thank you! (She’s autistic and not always so good with social niceties)

Loans don't arrive before they start anyway. All the registration stuff has to be completed before SFE release funds.

We used to pay accommodation costs and let DD pay for the rest from a min maintenance loan. I think she had some savings she used initially each year. No idea on freshers, as she was in the Covid intake with no such frivolities, just strict isolation within a few days of starting. I think many of her college activities in later years were free, only having to buy drinks.

I didn't pay ds anything as he had some earnings from his summer job. I told him in no uncertain terms to come to me, rather than go overdrawn or get a loan or a job, if he struggled that first term. I did buy his gown before he went up, and I promised him I would pay for a college puffa jacket if he wanted one. He had a box of food when I dropped him off.

The loan didn't cone through for ten days or so and I think he did get a bit stressed, but as far as I know he didn't run out completely.