Current Oxbridge students - continued again...!

[Panicmode1]

Think the other thread is full....!

Thank you @PermanentTemporary! I think DH bought a dj from a charity shop too. Iirc it cost £1.50 😆. So perhaps we’ll try that again. DS’ll grow out of anything bought now, or rather fill out, so there’s not point in investing in fancy.

Congratulations to your DS Dunnet!

DS goes to a college where the May Balls are white tie, so he's had to hire that when needed, but he has worn his DJ a fair amount for various formals - I think we bought it for his sixth form ball (we decided at 6ft 4 he'd stopped growing and he wasn't going to find one in a charity shop 😂but it was an ex hire, so not new/from somewhere super smart). He does also have a suit, but he had to wear one for sixth form, so I don't think we bought one specially but they do have to be fairly smart for matriculation, so it may be worth checking what the college literature says about that (sorry, I can't remember - DS is going into his 4th year!).

Oh and belated hugest congratulations to your DD @Malbecfan - we've been away for a couple of weeks, and DH's father died whilst we were away so it's all been a bit mad. I'm sorry you won't be here as much - you've been so helpful and supportive - best of luck on the dark side 😁

Thanks @Panicmode1 and indeed everyone else for your warm wishes. Sorry to hear about your FiL - what bad timing.

We're back from the much needed break and within a minute of getting into DF's flat, all the good it had done had evaporated due to my sister. I'll save that for another thread in another place...

@Dunnet welcome to the nicest group you could ever wish for and congratulations to your DS. The others have given good advice already but one thing I would add is that many colleges have "parents" - 2nd years - who are allocated a couple of "children" - 1st years. DD had a mum who was doing something like English and a dad who was reading her subject, NatSci. They got in contact the week after results day and DD found it really helpful to ask those sort of questions. Things will have changed in the last 8 years but then Facebook was the chosen platform. I think DD was in a group called X College Freshers 2017. She already got to "know" quite a few people before she even arrived.

Current parents, did your DC have anything similar?

Yes, absolutely DS did have college parents@Malbecfan and in fact DS' now girlfriend is his college 'wife'!

His college also organised drinks in London for those that could make it, in about early September, so DS had met a few people before the start of term which helped on drop off day.

@DunnetI would really encourage your DS to read all of the 'bumpf' he will be sent - there is loads of useful info in it, although hopefully your DS is better at sharing than mine was!!

Thank you so much for the welcome and advice! Apparently he’s on a chat thread for offer holders and the freshers’ reps which is quite helpful.

Congratulations to your DS @Dunnet ! Now the hard work begins - both academic and social. DS started in 2022 and his return for his Master's degree is in October. In addition to the advice given, an undergraduate gown for the matriculation (Wk 1) and formal dinners is required. Gowns are normally readily available secondhand through the college and yes, our DS had college parents too.
Our experience at our first drop-off was that we saw him, through his suite's winow, approach a group of freshers outside his hall and when he'd melted into that embrace we left quietly and didn't hear from him again for 5 weeks. Fine by us. I wish your DC all the best at C.

Ooh yes @Panicmode1 DD also went to an informal local meet-up. It was held at the home of some graduates from about 10 years before who had a house on the most expensive road in the nearest city. DD met a girl that I had taught in a different school, although no-one else from her school went to it (school is 25 miles away). I was away then so it's all coming back to me.

Congratulations @Dunnet to your DS. Re the mention of meet ups, DD at C went to two after results day and before matriculation, we are on the border of two areas so she went to both. They were on a link buried fairly deep in one of her emails so she could have missed it but I had also seen it mentioned on the undergraduate fresher page of her college iirc. The meet ups by region around the UK were not college specific. As I have a DD I can't provide advice about a suit. DD went to C with one formal dress she could wear under her gown and now has a selection of a few lovely formal dresses she has worn to formals or balls, some charity shop purchases, one made by me and a couple nice treat purchases but apart from the tragic hems on the one I made you couldn't tell the charity shop dresses from the high end ones she purchased from regular shops.

@Dunnet Congratulations to your DS on their place. My DS didn't read most of the information and almost didn't have a room so do follow tips above to read the reams of stuff that come through.

Yes a DJ is useful - his college end of term socials were often black tie. DS grew 5 inches between leaving school and starting a year later after A Levels so his school suit no longer fitted him. Rather than have a separate suit I think he wore his DJ for matriculation (don't think you're meant to!). I couldn't even persuade him to accept a suit as a 21st birthday present...

@Dunnet Yes, they are likely to need both. My DC was at a newer C college, which on paper was less formal, but both were used regularly. Buy big and with legs that can be let down... mine has continued to grow. On gowns, check with the college, as they differ. Mine was provided with one on day 1, and we didn't need to do anything - the college went for cheap polyester one, for which we were very grateful! And re meet-ups and groups for offer holders - my DC didn't go to any of those. At that time he wasn't the most socially confident, so his idea of a nightmare. But he thrived when he got there! Enjoy your visits there - I'm going to miss it!

That which was thought lost...or the Mathmo's lament.

Towards the end of what might have been his final year DS sadly admitted in late June that his bike had been stolen from outside the university library - a hotspot for such thefts. As he was uncertain then as to whether he'd make his master's degree course this was put on the back burner. It was a solid old hybrid bike I'd bought from my favourite bike shop in Norfolk. As time wore on into some rocky days in July he overcame the latter hurdle (Master's entry) and during a flat hunt for next year on a hot day in C today he rediscovered his bike - tidily locked up in a bike shed at the Centre for Mathematical Studies - some distance from the main library; a fact sheepishly shared with me as I drove him home from C this evening. I think I may be collecting it this weekend to fettle it for late September.

Once he and his friend sort out the place for next year - they are on the verge - he will be able to relax and enjoy his summer now that there is more of a spring in his step. Even though his gf has split up with for reasons that don't involve him at all in the last week. One thing at a time.

Welcome to the thread @Dunnet congratulations to your DS. My DS has just finished his first year and he has a suit but not black tie, he has avoided going to any balls or really formal events. He needed the suit for matriculation and for his college subject dinner. I think it would be fine for formal hall at his college as well but he hasn't been, he lives in casual comfortable clothes. I figure he could always hire black tie if he needs to.

He didn't go to any meet ups before he started but I think was in a whatsapp group with his college family and also had at least one welcome email from his subject rep. He was so overwhelmed on the first day when we were dropping him off that he burst into tears in his room and it did take him a little while to find his feet but he is very happy to be there now. He has struggled a bit (had to have a meeting with his DoS and Tutor last term) but he got a 2.2 in his first year exams and hopefully will be able to choose his courses a bit more from now on. I am hoping he will be able to access more of the support that is available next year as well.

He managed to get a room in a college house near to the main college site so that should work well for him.

Glad your DS found his bike @Clemenc0 hope he can enjoy the rest of his summer. And to everyone else as well. I expect we will have an influx of new proud parents on Thursday - exciting!

We have had a similar experience with DS's bike too @Clemenc0 glad yours turned up - and congrats to your DS for moving into a Masters but sorry to hear about his GF.

DS comes home tomorrow (briefly) after finishing his internship today - and then goes travelling with his GF for a while. She hasn't secured a Masters in C next year so they will be separated - but still TBC where she will be......

Hello! My DD is now confirmed for Cambridge.

Do any of you more seasoned Cambridge parents have experience with DC arriving early to participate in pre-season sports?

Welcome and huge congratulations to your DD, @Stockpot

Can't help with info around pre season sport, sorry. DS only started rowing once he started at C (although has now stopped as he can't fit it in!), but I'm sure that someone will be along in a bit with some intel.

Also checking in here, after being helpfully pointed by another thread. DS will be off to Cambridge for NatSci after a gap year. Both I and my DW studied at Oxbridge a long time ago, and I'm sure some things are still the same.

Congratulations to your DS too @PhotoDad

You and your wife probably know more than some of us here who are first gen Oxbridge parents (and in my case a reject!).....

Hello @Stockpot congratulations due to DD and well done to the rest of the family - it all felt a bit of a joint enterprise 3+ years ago. I remember results day very well as it was touch and go from the night before. His sport is tennis and that started in Fresher's week with trials. A tricky time for first years as entry into the teams is competitive on account of existing players electing to move down to lower teams as academic commitments take precedence and reduces practice time.

Thanks for the insight @Clemenc0 ! I hadn’t considered that dynamic. At the moment she has been invited to arrive early to train with the team. Her college cannot accommodate her early, so she has to ask another college to house her in September. It seems like a lot….and quickly!

Welcome @Stockpot and @PhotoDad and congratulations to your DSs. DD is about to start Y3 at C.

I can't advise on sports, DD does drama as extra curricular and not remotely sporty unless you count being a fast pedestrian doging cyclists and tourists. DD's BF was a rower (he has just graduated) and think most colleges can often accomodate them but they may have to be prepared to move to different rooms depending on what is going on in their accomodation before the main term starts.

Hello again @Stockpot. I can see that for larger side team sports early trials/ practice might be needed but that is outside our DS's experience. A great way to meet people and I wish her well.

DD was in the lucky position of playing tennis for 3 years, but not having pre-seasons. She did get subsidised training (holidays) in Faro each Easter though. Technically she was also a blue for real tennis, but that's another story!

There are so many levels of sport that your DC is bound to find a team which suits her talent & commitment. It's also a great way to make friends and find your feet in a strange new world before freshers. Good luck to her.

Thanks everyone, I agree that it seems like a nice way to settle in, and get to know people. Not being familiar with Cambridge, I am trying to figure out how the logistics might work. Of course the team captains will share information and give her guidance.

@Stockpot firstly, congratulations!

Could you send your DC with clothes and sporting stuff early then rock up later with all the other stuff students need in time for freshers? I'm sure the sports captains will be able to help with solutions.

We found DD's college was really helpful about drop-off/pick up times due to the distance. My record time from home to college was 3hrs 40 with no stops; the longest is well over 7 hours, so we could never be sure of when we would arrive.

For Freshers we ended up taking 2 cars. Mine had both DDs in it plus all DD1's clothes, books, shoes (dear Lord, the shoes!), bedding, crockery, cooking stuff and whatever else. My car is used to transporting large musical instruments around, so is good for this. DH took DD's bike as we don't have a bike rack. He parked in the Park & Ride and rode it to her college, then set it up for her. I drove him back to the P&R and we raced each other home (sort of!) We didn't stay for too long as DD was keen to get to meet people so once we'd been to the new parents' tea at the Master's Lodge, we legged it.

Exciting times - welcome to all newbies. I keep saying I'm going, but am lurking! Today, I discovered that a couple of my y13s are likely to be taught by DD - how random is that?!