Current Oxbridge students - continued again...!

[Panicmode1]

Think the other thread is full....!

Have a wonderful day beeswain!

Have a fabulous celebratory day @beeswain!

Hope you enjoy today @beeswain

Hope your DC3 enjoys his trip @Panicmode1 I suggested to DS that he could take his sister to a formal hall but he didn't seem very keen on that idea!

Have a wonderful day @beeswain

Have a wonderful day @beeswain

Thanks, @PermanentTemporary She’s ok, I think but getting fed up with how restricted her life is, whilst not finding the courage to branch out yet. It’ll be interesting to see what she does next but so hard to watch and wait. Now we’re all slightly more used to her being there, I’m really missing her.

DP was made redundant this week so we’re all three not having the greatest time, to put it mildly. We’ll survive but I could do with a bit of a break!

Encourage her to reach out to someone in her college @FreddieStandensBFF. DD always found the welfare team got it, as they see so many who feel out of their comfort zone.

@beeswain he's done you proud xx

I hope you've all had a fabulous day!

So sorry to hear that @FreddieStandensBFF - we are 4 months into DH being made redundant and it's not fun. Doubly hard when your child isn't having the best time either.

@beeswain I hope you had a lovely graduation day yesterday for your DS. You must feel very proud!

@Clemenc0 good luck to your OH with further recovery and well done to your DS for getting into the C tennis team. That's a big achievement.

@FreddieStandensBFF I hope your DD settles in and it just sometimes takes a lot of time to adapt and decide the kind of student lifestyle that works best for you as an individual rather than feel like you've got to act as if you're an extrovert. Sorry to hear your OH has been made redundant. I hope it can be a transition point to better things.

@Panicmode1 I'm glad your DS is enjoying his subject again and I hope DC3 has a great time visiting for a formal tonight. Hope your DH also can use the time, post redundancy, to reconsider work/life balance and find something that suits him.

@Manahoy I hope your DS continues to recover from his illness and isn't too downhearted if he gets behind in work. His health is far more important than keeping up with assignments.

@beeswain many congratulations!

@Panicmode1 that sounds really positive.

@FreddieStandensBFF I hope she continues to make small steps forwards, it is so hard supporting them long distance. It sounds like she is sticking with it though, which a positive thing. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's job, such a lot of stress to deal with x

I've managed to see my daughter recently - just a couple of hours to take her out for lunch. It was SO reassuring to see her and see and hear in person that she is settling and adjusting well. Just three more weeks now until Christmas! She's already thinking about those January exams though.

Just wondered - are the group matriculation photos at Cambridge normally available to buy? Thanks

Not at DD's college @Chouffles .

DD has had a major setback in her research as the cells she has tried to tend lovingly appear to have been irreparably damaged by being deep frozen. Her bestie and BF have taken her out to see a show as a distraction but she is very frustrated. She did build in 3 months spare in case of such events but was hoping it wouldn't be necessary. I will chat to her over the weekend I hope.

At DD’s college they had the year group photo available with a gorgeous hand painted surround. I chose not to buy the frame as the only option was black, but as a non/standard size I had to get a bespoke frame made for it. I think it took a while to come through as an option and went to DD first before she sent onto me.

I was really lucky that DD’s college friend took a picture of her on her own and it was a rather well taken shot and I got that printed at our local photo outlet.

@Chouffles yes could buy group photo at DS college in nice frame

Thanks all - sounds like worth asking at least. My DD hasn’t mentioned it but will check again.

@Chouffles DS was able to buy the group matriculation photo at his college. That was back in 2020 during Covid. I like that it has all their names listed below - which his group graduation photo does not.

@ofteninaspin thanks for this. I assume order forms go to the student so I will have to check she hasn’t ignored an email!

Just checked our family group chat and DD got her email from the tutorial and academic office about her matriculation photo from Lafayette Photography on 23 November

Thanks - I checked and she had had an email but missed the internal deadline for ordering🤦‍♀️. I have managed to get one from the photographer direct.

@PettsWoodParadise is your Dd in Yr 2? Your earlier post about ADC rings true! My DD signed up for a play in week one, she is on one of the heavier essay loaded courses and is now drowning under the weight of play rehearsals (which she is also having to miss some lectures for this week) and totally overwhelmed. Hopefully she will be able to start afresh in Jan and manage things a bit better. It does seem sad though that, unless you are extremely efficient at writing essays, it can be so hard to actually enjoy all the opportunities on offer there? Glad to hear it gets better!

Hello @Chouffles glad you were still able to order the photo direct.

Yes my DD is in Y2, she met so many friends through the ADC and other amateur dramatics in Y1. She is taking a partial step back but still seems to do a lot with other smaller acting groups including and the ADC is putting on a show she has written during Lent term. She has her Part I exams in Easter term so thinks she will be fully scaled back for that term.

DD has to plan really really well to juggle essays and drama, her DoS last year was good at letting her know in advance and she sometimes wrote well in advance if she knew she wouldn't have time, this term she also has an understanding set of tutors and has already had to submit some things early to get ahead and gets frustrated when extensions are asked by others for what she sees as less robust reasons. She has missed out on a few things including parts in plays as the timing just doesn't work, lectures this term don't seem to be on her radar and she says don't add anything, more as they are super niche and don't help so it is the reading, supervisions and tutorials she focuses on, she thinks the lectures will be more relevant next term for some reason, I think based on the subject matter she will be studying. How she fits in theatre, studying, helping every week with a Cambridge Brownie pack, being on the JCR, being a writing rep for another group, I haven't the foggiest but she seems to thrive on it and is gradually learning when to say no...

Good luck to your daughter, it is highly likely our daughters have crossed paths, the amateur acting community in Cambridge is fantastic.

Hello!

my DS would be horrified if he knew I was posting but I am very worried after chatting to him this weekend. He is in a real state and thinks he’s falling behind because thinks he’s working so hard but not really in his words ‘keeping up’. He’s doing engineering which is quite full on in terms of lectures etc

he was utterly realistic when he got in that his 4 A stars would make him decidedly average in terms of ability. But he feels he is at the bottom of the class and he genuinely is turning down offers of going to the pub to study instead. .

i personally think he didn’t have to work excessively hard for his a levels and so he might not have got good study technique for this new environment. He said he spent 15 hours on a piece of work for a supervison - and he gets serval a week. He said he’s not really got any negative feedback but other students are much quicker and much more relaxed.

I am worried he is making himself ill. I don’t think he is eating very well.

who should he speak to. ? His personal tutor. His DoS? He’s worried if he does say something that his card will be marked as unsuitable for the university !

Is it better to not say anything?

@Anonuser678543 I'm so sorry to hear about your DS but it's good that he's flagged up his worries with you. That's a great start. Is he at Cambridge? I'm pretty sure that at least 99% of everyone else on his course is, internally, feeling very similar.

Engineering is notoriously incredibly heavy as a subject. DS1 (C) had student friends who were engineers who were studying flat out whilst he was relaxing in cafes and joining lots of societies (he did English) and all of them without exception struggled, particularly in the first year. Two of his friends ended up taking time out and then returning for the following year, as the workload was just so overwhelming.

As far as I know, they give the engineers more work than is realistic to do , especially if, like most students, you're a perfectionist.

Yes, I think it'd be a very good idea that he lets his DoS know how he's feeling and if he has a good DoS, he'll be told that everyone feels like this and not to worry. In fact, if no one has said anything detrimental about his work so far, I expect he's actually doing very well and shouldn't overwork.

No way will be be marked as unsuitable for the university. His academic track record plus the fact that he was chosen in the very competitive assessments to be given a place, indicates they want him and think he can do well there.

If he feels he can't say anything to his DoS, he could also approach his pastoral tutor. He probably just needs some reassurance at this stage and permission not to attend every single lecture or complete every single piece of work perfectly and on time. Sometimes, students are allowed to complete the term's work in the vacation in any case.

My guess is he's nowhere near bottom of the class but he may need to hear than from his DoS, which is another reason why he should let them know how he's feeling.

Meanwhile, he needs a more balanced life even during term-time and it might take him some time to work out how to do enough academics but have space for a personal life and time out too. Overall, to reiterate, I think most of the others will be feeling just like him. He needs to remember how amazing he is just to have got on the course at all.

Good luck to him and to you as well. Worrying about your DCs as a parent in the background seems pretty universal.

@Chouffles Glad you have been able to order the photo.

@Anonuser678543 Your poor DS. Ideally he should contact his pastoral tutor and/or DoS for some guidance and reassurance. No degree is worth becoming ill over. DS found both pastoral tutor and DoS approachable, practical and supportive and hopefully it will be the same for your DS.

FWIW DS’s girlfriend found Cambridge engineering pretty tough. She came from a top London girls grammar and had not found A Level challenging. She says students at the top of her engineering cohort (predominantly from Pakistan and India) were way ahead of the rest from first year. She found first year the most difficult and it got easier as she learnt to manage the workload and choose her own modules. Fourth year was the easiest as the main focus was her project/dissertation. She graduated this year (in the middle of the cohort) with a hard earned 2.1 (and a very well paid job).

I hope your DS finds a better balance in his workload very soon.

@Anonuser678543 I have sent you a private message.