How much allowance to give when 18 year olds living at home?

[Bougis123]

My 18 year old DD is about to start at a local college and will be living at home (London). We want her to manage her own finances but realise she won't have time to work during term time. We'll pay for travel, phone, family holidays, college supplies and any food at home. How much weekly allowance should we give her for everything else? Any thoughts?

@shirtyumbrellatree I disagree that working somewhere like Tesco wouldn't have taught you anything. It would have taught you a great deal of human behaviour. I think everyone should work a l
Period in retail or catering because it teaches them a huge amount.

The fact that daddy will buy you a new car in my.opinion makes it even more important to do such things.

@Bougis123 my dd3 is at uni and without a job currently we send her £250 a month to cover food clothing and treats.

For a student doing an art foundation I'd treat her the same as if she was still doing A levels. Pay for travel to college, phone, provide packed lunch food & essential materials for college. Provide basic toiletries and clothes. I would then give an allowance of approx £15 per week. Anything else has to come from a part time job.

We did give my daughter slightly more to be fair. I think it was about £35 per week. But that was because at the time dh was suffering a medical condition that meant he could not drive and we had caring responsibilities for mil who had dementia. She was of more use to us as a family helping to drive dh and providing care. When she did eventually come to apply for a job though she was able to use her experience as a young carer to help prove her worth.

DS did an art foundation last year, living at home. He had a part time job in pub along side. Other than a few intense weeks in Jan/Feb when he was putting together his portfolio and the last 4 weeks before submission of his final project he had plenty of time for his studies. He got a distinction so it didn't affect his grade, and got course he wanted next. The job was equally important in him maturing and getting ready to move away.

I worked whilst finishing my GCSE’s and at sixth form with no problems at all, one evening shift during the week and then at the weekend and took overtime in holidays if I wanted to. No allowance was given. Some of my friends got an allowance to top up their earnings which is also ok imo.

All the friends I had who’s parents “didn’t want them to work whilst studying” ended up being non starters who didn’t get a proper job until their mid twenties or beyond….

And with all due respect if she’s at an art college it’s going to be extremely hard to find a job in that field anyway, let alone an employer receiving a cv of someone in their 20s who’s never had a job and has an art qualification.

Look beyond the qualification. People who are hiring will have many suitable applicants straight out of education. They will chose those that also have some work experience. A work reference is just as important as the qualification.

They want someone who has a proven track record of being reliable, presentable, personable, able to acquire new skills, great communication etc. An art qualification does not prove any of this. Working in empoyment alongside the course does.

You are not doing your child any favours if you prevent them from acquiring these fundamental and necessary skills.

There are, of course exceptions. Someone who is neurodiverse for example may need all their efforts just to get through a course (not all ND people of course and it might even fluctuate).

I'm wealthy enough that I could support my two through their education. But I've seen too many young people who have become entitled through being given everything and not having to work for it. So I wanted to instil a good work ethic in my own kids.

Thanks for all your interesting comments. Food for thought!

If you are paying for all her essentials I would suggest giving her a minimal allowance that would pay for the odd (cheap) night out (ie a pizza and a couple of beers) or some essential clothing from somewhere like Primark - but if she wants any more then she needs to work for it. Maybe around £25 per week? But I may be completely out of touch on prices . I'm trying to think back on what we gave DS in 6th form (some years back now and he started FT work at 17).

I do understand that sometimes PT jobs that fit in with college hours can sometimes be difficult, but it's probably easier to get at 18 than younger (pub jobs).

Nothing, she needs to work. Mine worked through sixth form, they got an allowance as well but the understanding was no work and you lose your allowance. FWIW son later did a Masters alongside working full time, a part time role (for experience) and tutoring a couple of GCSE students.

my 18 year old received the maintenance payments that their dad used to give to me for her until she finished her education. she also got a weekend job to run alongside her learning... I continues to pay her mobile phone bill and her gym membership again until her education ended and she secured a full time job.

if they are not studying, then i firmly believe that they should not be getting 'pocket money'.. they need to be looking for work and supporting themselves

I give my 17 year old £300 a month but that is on the basis that everything comes out of that, such as makeup, going out, travel etc. I tell her that once it's gone then I'm not giving her anymore money. Trying to reach her how to budget although she is looking for a job in addition to college as she wants a car.

Most college students work, even the full time courses aren't very full time and the workload isn't particularly heavy. I'd encourage her to get an evening job waitressing or similar a couple of evenings a week. I'd then say if she did that I would top her up by £100 per month. No work, no money though.

Ultimately, having a job on your cv is extremely valuable when it comes to finding a job in the field you're interested in - even if it's unrelated like waitressing, working in a cinema/nightshifts in a supermarket etc. You could actually be harming her future chances by not encouraging her to have a job. It shows potential employees that you are hardworking, dedicated and able to organise and prioritise.

I recruit and I wouldn’t necessarily hold not having had a job against a young person.

It took my DC a year to find a part time job. Everyone has different circumstances. We live rurally, unless I bought in to driving DC to work they wouldn’t have a job here. How many parents can commit to that? Not everyone for varying reasons.

A kid that’s been super sporty or played in a band/orchestra would have developed lots of fantastic skills even if they’d never worked in a workplace.

I agree with others about work, I have hiring responsibility and it's very rare I would even consider someone for an interview if they are over 21 and never had a job - even its just part time stuff. I would still give her an allowance but also try and encourage that she tries to find something part time that may have scope to increase her hours during holidays

Op’s in London though so lots of jobs available and good public transport.
How does the work only in holidays materialise? I’ve lots of posts on another forum with parents complaining yp can’t get holiday work.
But they’ve never worked so no experience and are 18/19/20 competing with kids with experience. The holiday jobs are often filled by pt staff upping their hours.

I don't give mine anything? She lives at home and has had a job since she was 14. She is about to start university, will stay and home and continue to work.
I pay her phone bill that's it

Art foundation courses are quite intensive. Yes, if course students can work if they have to, but if they are already doing 40 hours plus at their studies, then having a job on top is quite an ask. If you can afford not to have her work, it would be better.
I'd sit down with her and discuss what she needs, what you both expect her to do, where savings can be made, and then cost it out.
Look at food, clothes, social life, health and fitness, and how much you can afford.
It might be you pay for eg gym membership, but she takes packed lunch so you don't have to pay for food out. Maybe you pay for basic clothes eg trainers and a coat, but she gets non-necessaries second hand.
I do know that my son doing art foundation and then an art degree worked on his studies for much longer hours-wise than his sibling studying maths. I didn't have much spare money, and didn't give them much, on the basis that they could get work ( eg occasional babysitting for younger siblings friends, tutoring etc) if they felt the need for a more expensive lifestyle, without it impacting on their studies. I didn't want to be paying for things like alcohol and takeaways when I could barely afford those things for myself.
As always, open discussion will help you here.

Thanks, DelphiniumBlue, for acknowledging how much work Art is. My DD spent 5x as long on her Art A level as her other subjects - and I'm aware that Foundation might be as demanding. It's important that she has enough time to get a good portfolio together for the next stage of her studies, so we've decided to give her some weekly money to pay for basics, then expect her to work in the holidays. There are loads of p/t jobs around here so shouldn't be a problem.

Would you not give the same as in 6th form? Student loans for living at home go up to 8400 which seems loads- only a little less than max grant! I gave mine £200 a month in y13 - including buying lunches clothes etc, London. I'd probably carry that on and encourage some earning asap, in holidays if not in term time (and I know the mythical mumsnet Saturday job is not so easy to get in London)

I can't comment on the pocket money as I don't know anything about that but I do get how much time art courses take up.
If she is looking for work later something I found really useful was taking evening babysitting jobs.
I used to do babysitting for young childrens whose parents were going on date nights. Normally from 6-11 or 7-12 pm - children into bed by 7 or 8 and then all evening to do art in their quiet house while getting paid for it.
I also used to sit for 8-13 year olds whose parents wanted someone to sit with them while they did homework, and then they mostly put themselves to bed. Its a good way to have quiet time to work.
Also cat and dog sitting is great for this if she is not into working with children.

Some ‘full-time’ FE college courses are 16 hours a week. There’s plenty of hours in the week for studying, working and socialising.

I have a dd who did art foundation whilst living at home. Tbf, it was more hours than her level 3 course (around 30 iirc over 5 days) but she managed a 12 hour McD contract with no serious effort and usually worked slightly over that (typically 3x5ish hour shifts) plus could pick up extra shifts in the holidays. She worked more in paid work than she did in y12/13 and got a distinction. Some weeks it did seem like a lot of hours but she had minimal extra responsibilities that other adults fit around working and studying. No kids or elderly parents to take care off, only cooking 1/2 evenings a week, minimal food shopping, no dog to walk boiler repair to sort out or vegetables to grow. She didn’t have to get divorced or repaint her hall, stairs and landing inamongst it all. One of the reasons she did it (she had already been offered her uni place without it) was to take time out to save up to do the expensive course at the expensive university she is now at so not working would have been pointless.
We treated her pretty much like she was still in y13 - transport costs and mobile phone covered, packed lunch food in the fridge, and a clothing allowance of around 300/year as a lump sum. I also bought her supplies for the foundation.

My daughter's state sixth form advises that working up to 7 hours a week is ok, but any more than that correlates with lower grades. They did quote references but I am not going to dig them out.

DD has a zero hours contract and works mainly in the hols. It's amazing for her but that is not right or possible for every young person. We still give her a bit of pocket money because it doesn't seem right to penalise her for working. This thread seems a bit one dimensional to me - there are loads of kids who can't or don't work at 18 alongside their studies, and it's just daft to believe that's condemning them all to joblessness for life.

She's an adult and should get a job. She's already saving money living at home. Adults don't get allowances.