How much allowance to give when 18 year olds living at home?

[Bougis123]

My 18 year old DD is about to start at a local college and will be living at home (London). We want her to manage her own finances but realise she won't have time to work during term time. We'll pay for travel, phone, family holidays, college supplies and any food at home. How much weekly allowance should we give her for everything else? Any thoughts?

Of course they should be working, even in full time education, and even if their parents can support them. Why are you not applying the lessons you've learnt from your dad bank rolling you, to your DS, and only paying for essentials and him getting a job for non essentials. Work experience is what will help them get a job after education. I haven't had a penny from my parents since I left home at 18, thank goodness, it's taught me to be self reliant.

Well if your plan is to tell an adult what she can and cannot do with her time, it really doesn't make any difference how much you pay her. Maybe you should ramp it right up as compensation for the work ban.

The kinder and more constructive thing to do would be to make it clear you're respecting her adult autonomy.

We give DS £250/month which is a lot- I think less would be fine. Worked it out by imagining what the lifestyle we’d be happy to fund looks like- so a night out with friends once a week, cinema trip, a few coffees etc, x amount on clothes, x amount on gifts and so on.

She can still work weekends, there’s no way an art foundation course is that demanding she can’t get a Saturday job.

I worked during my GCSE’s, my A levels and all through uni, it’s absolutely what most students do, she needs to get a job.

Any reason why she can't get an evening or Saturday job?

Thanks for your helpful reply, OlPackingTape. Can I ask if you live in London? London costs make a difference1

I would encourage a very undemanding PT job - a couple of shifts a week in a bar or restaurant, a Saturday job in a shop or harden centre.

DS2 is autistic and he was not, aged 18, able or ready to do a PT job, but instead he sought out rare items and sold them to specialist collectors and earned as much from that, sporadically, as a regular job would have made him. I explained to him this was fine and as long as he kept the momentum up so overall he was making a profit equivalent to MW casual work, it was just as valid.
DS1 got lucrative freelance work as a virtual PA. Again sporadic and called for some overnighters but paid four times what a MW job would. he preferred this to regular drudge work.

If something like that would suit her better, suggest she sets herself a project that she knows can make money and sets aside time each week for it.

They do need to understand money comes from work.

Fair enough, but I don't think you need to dress it all up in some philosophy about freeing up Tesco jobs for the "desperate" poor people.

Your dad's rich, you're rich, your kid is rich, so budgeting and part-time job applications don't need to be in your family's skill set. That's all.

She absolutely needs to get a job for the sake of her future job prospects

Adults with no work experience are a red flag for hiring managers. Trust me, this is my area.

You are doing her a disservice giving her pocket money

None, adult so get a job.

Well if you are banning her from working I say you need to compensate her for that
£8.60 an hour for 7 hours a day, for the weekend for a month works out just under £500 a month

If she's arty she could do a proper face painting course and get her the proper supplies and insurance and she could do parties and events. Body painting adults is a thing. UV face painting adults for nights out and festivals etc. her initial outlay won't be massive but would require a level of self promotion and developing new skills

Yes, we always design person specifications to give due weight to any paid work experience at all when we're hiring junior roles.

Worse even than that is the more generally infantilised state of 80% of the graduate hires.

Coming at this from a slightly different perspective, I do think part time jobs can be detrimental to academic achievement (can be, not are) and I wouldn’t encourage my own children to work when studying. If family finances dictate they have to then of course that’s different.

Yes we are.

Nothing. Your daughter needs a part time job. It will be good for her. It's a rite of passage.

Do think it over. You're (eventually) denying them the edge in the graduate job market if you advise paid work right through their education. The cap will get wider, too, I think.

I gave mine £50 a month as a school sixth former plus paid her phone/gym/contacts/bus.

She also worked very pt at McDonald’s on a 0 hours usually one or two short shifts a week.
I really would rethink the no working. Holiday jobs don’t materialise out of thin air they go to teens with experience or who can up their hours in hols. As someone who hires graduates I’ve been shocked how many have zero paid work and they don’t make our criteria to interview.
Before anyone says what about teens with disabilities mine has a physical disability and several at work with her have autism.

Why can't your daughter get a job. Most students have a job whilst at college.

@LiterallyOnFire

Exactly this.

OP

I say this with kindness, Art foundation may or may not lead to a career path. It's tougher than ever before with AI generated art etc. Your DD needs to acquire a range of transferable skills. Encourage her to work, literally any job at all.

100% this.

@Peasatlast

Happily there is zero data to back your assertion up.

We gave my DD the Child Benefit as her allowance while in college. She could have the whole lot or have it drip fed to her so she could learn to budget. She could still make butties for her lunches and take snacks from home if she wanted her money to go further.
But she also had a bar job on the weekend evenings, a Saturday job in Wilkos and did after school care for a local doctors kids for a few hours each evening.

@LiterallyOnFire i think that depends. If it’s a job that directly relates to something they might want to do or with general useful skills that’s one thing. But I can’t honestly say I think serving ice cream in a cafe or being behind a till is going to give an air of superiority in the graduate job market (and incidentally I’ve never put any of the horrible factory, retail or care work I did as a student on my CV!)

I do know a lot of students who end up falling behind or doing OK, but not as well as they could have done due to the demands of delivering pizza or those Christmas shifts being just too insistent and it is a shame. I also know some students manage it brilliantly but I definitely wouldn’t expect any of my children to do demanding A level or degree courses plus paid work. As I’ve said I recognise some have no choice: I just don’t think repeatedly berating the OP because her DD ‘should’ have a job is fair either.

What most of the posters said.
This generation wouldn't last a week given
the same circumstances as we had to deal with.
45 yo.

I used to vet student applications for entry level runner jobs in the media. I wouldn't even consider anyone who'd never worked. A couple of years part-time in hospitality was the ideal - can't beat it for people skills and on-the-fly task management.