Anyone Know Of A Pupil Returning After Leaving For Another Sixth Form?

[Charlysunnysky]

Our son wanted to go to the independent school he at as older boys on his sport teams went and enjoyed it. Of our closest secondaries 1 is in special measures ands the other 'requires improvement'. We were very borderline if we could afford it. However we made it work, doing overtime and going without holidays - nothing major.

He was certain she'd want to go it a mixed Sixth Form (you know what's coming next). Fast forward 5 years and he has thrown himself into everything cricket, rugby, music and doesn't want to leave. However, DH isn't massive on continuing to do overtime, and we needed to extend the house so I can work from home, and my Dad (who's recently widowed) can visit & stay over.

DS has been offered a place at a better-performing state grammar the same 30 min distance away, and has said he will go, but I can tell he is nervous and worried about the change. We could just about manage to keep him at the independent but I'd really like him to try another setting because I think it will grow him as a person and it looks like it would be a good fit for him.

I also don't want DH running himself into the ground if there's a good alternative to try. However I wanted to tell DS that if he really hates it after the Autumn term we could look into him re-joining his old school. It will mean adjusting our belts again but for less than 2 years and we will have tried the alternative. I thought it will make him feel more confident knowing there's a way back if he needs it. He's the sort of person that would still give the new opportunity 100%, as he knows the benefits of changing, and to that school in particular.

I just wondered if anyone else has done this or knows of anyone who has? I can remember asking a parent of an older pupil at the independent if anyone left to go to other sixth forms and she said yes, but 2 had come back after Christmas. I know there's no guarantee there would even be space for him in all his chosen subjects, but I was thinking to email the school and ask what the protocol would be.

My DH thinks this is a good idea, but I'd really like to know about any experiences of this. He will keep in touch with his current schoolmates as they play on the same sports teams, but I'm aware that the curriculum may not be taught in a the same order.

I have seen this happen at a school I taught at.

State in case it makes any difference.

In this case the parents were convinced that we were all bad teachers and it was a bad school so she moved elsewhere. She was back within 4 weeks and the complaining about the school was significantly less.

A girl I was at school (girls, state grammar) with switched to the local boys school (state grammar) which had a mixed 6th form. She came back after roughly a term, I think, and slotted in fine.

I wanted to tell DS that if he really hates it after the Autumn term we could look into him re-joining his old school.

You can’t tell him this because it really is academic suicide to switch schools in the middle of A levels. It is unlikely that the exam board with be the same for the A levels, even if the independent school somehow has extra places in the exact A levels he will have started at the grammar school. In addition, even if it all lines up perfectly, the two schools may not be doing the A level curriculum in the same order or be in the same place. So he will have catch up to do of one sort or another.

I thought it will make him feel more confident knowing there's a way back if he needs it.
The only thing some people do, is they restart Yr12 all over again the following year when they return to old sixth form. Which is doable. But he would be a year older than his peers, and that may cause bullying and it’s own issues.

better-performing state grammar
He is unlikely to perform better at the grammar school than in his current school where he is comfortable, happy and has a support system.

I've known it happen after a couple of weeks, but not after a whole term!

A levels are completely different from GSCEs - I think changing schools after a term would be really disruptive. Do the schools teach the same exam boards in the subjects your DS wants to do? Even if it the same board, do they teach the same options eg the same books for English, the same periods for history, the same topics in psychology and geography? If not, he may be needing to catch up on a whole term's work on his own.

If your DS wants to stay at the same school, fir the same if 2 years, I would bite the bullet and let him stay.

I think this would be an incredibly bad idea.
Firstly, it's clear that DS is unsure about moving but understands the financial imperatives. If you tell him he can move back if he doesn't like it then that will put him in a different mindset regarding settling in than if he knows that this is the only alternative. Or frankly, he will ask why, in that case, he can't just go to that sixth form anyway.

Secondly, I would think it would be incredibly difficult to move schools having missed a term of sixth form study. You'll not only need the same subjects, but the same boards, and the teaching of material in exactly the same order.

I do know people who have dropped out of one sixth form and moved to another, but they've restarted the year again in the following September, leaving 2 terms of alternative activities to find.

Yeah too have only heard of switching A levels or schools within the first four weeks of the entire 2yr course. Many sixth forms won’t allow anything different.

My DS state school took back several pupils after autumn term of Y12 as they realised 6th form college didn’t work for them. Might partly come down to whether child is perceived as capable of catching up and fit with syllabus covered/timetabling etc. both my DC 6th forms also allowed them to switch 1 A level subject towards end of autumn term Y12. DS school in particular was very flexible and on the side of making things work rather than sticking to rules. Also very small (less than 60) so that might be a factor.

I think its a bad idea. There may not be space on his chosen subjects and if there is they may be doing different exams boards, different modules or doing things in a different order. The first year of A levels is really important the assessments and exams they do in the yr12 go towards the predictions they apply to uni with. These are given out end of yr 12 /start of yr 13. To miss a whole term could have a big impact

However I agree to an extent with the arguments above - I don’t think it’s a good idea to go into a decision with an escape route, and switching school/syllabus for 3 subjects is not the same as 1 subject at same school (FWIW my DC both got A* in subjects they missed almost a term of, so did catch up but they were already strong in those subjects from GCSE results so that was a factor in allowing them to switch). Not sure how the pupils who came from 6th form college managed having switched after a term. When we were considering different 6th forms for my son the school he was at offered to take him back if he didn’t enjoy the new setting (but ultimately he decided to stay put).

Thank you so much. I can't tell you how helpful it is to have the benefit of your experience. I do agree that to continue where he is would give DS the best chance of doing well, even though the grammar outperforms the current independent. The familiarity with the layout, teachers other pupils is a huge advantage, and I think the pressure on him to make friends and fit in at the Grammar may well distract him from his studies.

However, his 2 closest friends are leaving for a school near them, but too far away for him to travel so he'll have to join new friendship groups at the present school. And those very same older team mates wish they had left for Sixth form - one says it’s no different than middle school and you’re treated like small children and the other said his friends are having a better time at another Sixth Sixth form entirely. The grass is always greener though, I suppose.

we needed to extend the house so I can work from home, and my Dad (who's recently widowed) can visit & stay over.
Where are you currently working from and how long and how often would your dad be staying?

I work at an independent. Every year we have two or three who leave for a different school and come back within the first couple of weeks. We wouldn’t be keen for them to move beyond Oct half term, they will have missed too much.

For the sake of 2 years keep him where he is. The house extension can wait

One of my dc moved for sixth form and although the first week was a bit tricky has really loved the new school. It is worth considering how many new people are likely to move in to the school. Some just take a few more whereas others substantially increase the intake for sixth form in which case there will be lots of new people to make friends with as well as those bored with their old friendships.

And yes there is often movement back and forth between sixth form settings in the first two or three weeks.

The house extension is already done. Our eldest works nights and it was easier to have him up in the now converted loft space where his sleep can't be disturbed in the daytime. This left space for an office for me which had room for a sofa bed for my dad or any other family members to stay over. It needed doing years ago but we put it on hold to get DS through secondary school.

At the end of Y9 he was sure he would go elsewhere for sixth from and so we took out a loan to extend. Midway though year 10 he realised how immersed in the school he was and asked if he could stay as he wanted to continue captaining the rugby, do his Gold D of E, and keep his options open for medicine by taking Chemistry as 4th A level which he knows he doesn't need, but the curriculum at the independent allows him to drop a subject if not required at the end of Y12 and take it at A/S level. The Grammar doesn't do Gold D of E (which isn't a deal breaker), but doesn't do A/S levels and only allows a 4th A level to be taken in exceptional circumstances (which he won't qualify for as he works and plays sport).

This left us in a predicament as I'm not comfortable being in debt and DH doing overtime for an extended period. DS is a grafter - he has a part time job and ramped up the hours during the long summer which really helps.

@Unexpecteddrivinginstructor The current school's sixth from never seems to be oversubscribed as their results are not stellar and the imminent VAT addition won't do anything to boost numbers. They must get a few though as a significant chunk of his year are going elsewhere so they will need to replace them.

There will be 70 new starters at the new Sixth from so he won't be the only one. It's more that i know now the way back will be difficult, if not impossible so I can't factor that in.

A month or even to the October half term might be easier to recover, but I don't know if it's long enough to him to know if he's better going back.

I moved my sons from an Independent to a state 6th form college which had almost identical results to their school 6 form. Both really wanted to do it and apart from financial issues I actually thought it was a good stepping stone to University as they're allowed to be more independent at 6 form. But as I say both of mine were pretty keen and it wasn't an uncommon thing for boys from his school to do.

However one of their friends moved to a very good 6 form at a state school. He did appallingly in his A level mocks in the first year and ended up moving back to the independent school but he had to start 1st year 6 form again. It was very demoralising for him as he wasn't with his friends and he was going over the same work he'd done the previous year. He admitted that the state school gave him too much freedom and he didn't do any work and at the independent 6 form the teachers were very much on their back and spoon fed.

If your son doesn't want to leave I do think it's a bad idea to move him. Two extra years when you've come so far seems like a small amount of time in the great scale of things.

I have four dc. Three moved for sixth form for various reasons, they all loved the change, the new friends, the new teachers and new environment etc… said it really made it easier to move on to uni. My youngest who chose not to move for sixth form has just sat his A levels , but definitely regrets his decision.
If you want/ need him to move, encourage it, be positive, he’ll be fine.

My dd did this. Chose to leave private and move to state for sixth form. My understanding is it's possible to change school and/or subject within the first six weeks.

She lasted less than a week before realising she wanted to go back to her old school. Once back at her old school she started three subjects and the needed to change one subject as it wasn't going well.

She did very well in her Alegras and went to Uni.

I think it is possible to change in the first 6 weeks but not any later ideally.

@CountTo10 We're at a point where he's 50/50 as he can see all the advantages of switching (including that not paying fees will mean we can go on holidays, and he can learn to drive & get a car). He said he's also been knocked back for a few of the mentoring and industry experience opportunities he's applied for in the last yaer or so, because they're only open to state pupils. I've told him that most uni's will go off where he got his GCSE's so this isn't a reason in itself to switch.

My husband feels the same way as you...what's 2 more years after we've found fees for 5. It's just that if DS is 50/50 and the pro's and cons are neck & neck, surely you'd go for the one that isn't charging fees.

The independent definitely does hand-hold and spoon-feed, even at A level. DS is a self-starter...at least he was for GCSE. He gave up most of his sports to concentrate on GCSE because he had been ill and was worried he'd fallen behind.

However since they broke up early for the summer, he's been working at a trampoline park by day and socialising/doing sport every evening and not touched any of the transition work. I've checked in casually a few times about this and he says he'll do it but I'm doubtful as he's got out of the habit of studying and is enjoying his Summer!

The sixth form head at the grammar says there's no such thing as free periods - they are 'directed self study' for which they will be accountable but I doubt they'll be as 'on it' as the independent.

They still get better results though. I feel that's more to do with the fact it's a selective grammar and the entrance exam was harder than that of the current independent.

@BestSchool I'm so glad it worked out for your DD

@Pinkypinkyplonk That's really positive - thank you!

If he is planning to study medicine then many places do like you to have Chemistry and Biology so I would try to see those as the core subjects and then the other two as more flexible to drop. It is hard enough applying to medicine without narrowing the options.

@Unexpecteddrivinginstructor Thank you. Again he's undecided between dentistry and engineering - he is hoping the path will be come clearer in Y12 and would like to take 4 A levels which can only be done at the current independent setting. His plan was to work hard at all 4 but if it wasn't going well by the end of Y12, to reduce to 3 and do an A/S in the retired one if his performance in it is sufficient.

The Grammar don't do this because the way the syllabus is taught isn't conducive to taking an A level at the end of Y12.

This supports what was advised earlier about switching/switching beyond 4 weeks into Y12 being a bad idea.

My dc has just left a state grammar 6th form where lots joined yr 12 from other schools inc independents (the standards of entry exams are lower for private schools near us than the state 11+) As far as I know everyone integrated fine and where you previously went wasn’t an issue.
I’d definitely look into what is offered re Uni support. Some programs won’t be available to private schools.
Check exam board and syllabus. Unless exact same then I think chances of him slotting back in are unrealistic. Sixth form is so fast paced.