Anyone Know Of A Pupil Returning After Leaving For Another Sixth Form?

[Charlysunnysky]

Our son wanted to go to the independent school he at as older boys on his sport teams went and enjoyed it. Of our closest secondaries 1 is in special measures ands the other 'requires improvement'. We were very borderline if we could afford it. However we made it work, doing overtime and going without holidays - nothing major.

He was certain she'd want to go it a mixed Sixth Form (you know what's coming next). Fast forward 5 years and he has thrown himself into everything cricket, rugby, music and doesn't want to leave. However, DH isn't massive on continuing to do overtime, and we needed to extend the house so I can work from home, and my Dad (who's recently widowed) can visit & stay over.

DS has been offered a place at a better-performing state grammar the same 30 min distance away, and has said he will go, but I can tell he is nervous and worried about the change. We could just about manage to keep him at the independent but I'd really like him to try another setting because I think it will grow him as a person and it looks like it would be a good fit for him.

I also don't want DH running himself into the ground if there's a good alternative to try. However I wanted to tell DS that if he really hates it after the Autumn term we could look into him re-joining his old school. It will mean adjusting our belts again but for less than 2 years and we will have tried the alternative. I thought it will make him feel more confident knowing there's a way back if he needs it. He's the sort of person that would still give the new opportunity 100%, as he knows the benefits of changing, and to that school in particular.

I just wondered if anyone else has done this or knows of anyone who has? I can remember asking a parent of an older pupil at the independent if anyone left to go to other sixth forms and she said yes, but 2 had come back after Christmas. I know there's no guarantee there would even be space for him in all his chosen subjects, but I was thinking to email the school and ask what the protocol would be.

My DH thinks this is a good idea, but I'd really like to know about any experiences of this. He will keep in touch with his current schoolmates as they play on the same sports teams, but I'm aware that the curriculum may not be taught in a the same order.

It happened at my school (state grammar) although in their cases they chose to go to a (very high performing) Sixth Form college but disliked it and came back to the grammar school however this meant they had to restart year 12 the next year so essentially redoing a year. This might have been to do with how far into the year they decided to move back, and if they also changed courses, but you’d need to check if moving after a term would be allowed and if they would even have space.

@miaoweeee Thank you - it IS interesting that it happened so often too. I'm glad your DD settled well and it wasn't necessary for her though.

@MargaretThursday Thanks. Yes, it's become really clear that a term (even a half term) is too long to recover, it will make it practically impossible to get good grades. We agreed no longer than 2 weeks. I don't know if that's long enough to decide but DS is now determined to give it a go.

@notalotofoptions Just touching on the female in male-dominated, DS's girlfriend (same school as him but a school year above), also wants to be an engineer and wrote to the local munitions factory as she wanted to do her EPQ on smart missile technology and they said they have a partnership with the local high school. She phoned to ask if they could make an exception given that she'd be unable to gain insight anywhere else, but she said they wouldn't speak to her. She was disappointed but said she would have been more annoyed if they are potentially favouring ambivalent kids that are forced to go, over someone who is very keen and appreciative of the opportunity. We'll never know that and can't assume.

@Bunnyannesummers Only issue with that is that I imagine not everyone dubbed middle class is well-connected enough to get work experience placements. I'm still massively in favour of social mobility though, and that students in from under-represented 'groups' and from difficult starts should be empowered, because they face many more challenges.

A boy in my DCs' state comp left to go
To a super selective grammar. He hated it and came back after a few weeks. He was welcomed back with open arms - he was a great guy and very bright.

@notalotofoptions You make so many good points there. Levelling up is essential, but the situation you describe is clearly unfair. I had this discussion about positive discrimination with a friend in HR and said it's completely legal if its to achieve a legitimate aim. She said equality will feel like dispossession to those who previously had the advantage.

Loads of children switch for sixth for college and do very well. I don’t think it necessarily follows he would do better staying put, especially if his social circle is being disrupted anyway. So if his new school looks good and gets good results I would go for it. Remember there is likely to be VAT on fees for at least one year - so 20% more. But I would be wary about telling him he can go back, it would mean he won’t have the same commitment to the new school.

Your friend is wrong. Positive discrimination in employment is illegal in the UK. It is worrying she works in HR.

Keep him at the indie.
iIt is only two years and crucial for him.

@KielderWater Apologies...my mistake there and you're quite right. It was in relation to GCHQ's invitation to apply which was restricted to underrepresented groups. DS sent it to me and I forwarded it to her but what is happening there is positive action as opposed to discrimination. Again, apologies and thanks for mentioning.

Both my children switched for sixth form - dd from a selective girls independent to a grammar, and ds from a grammar to the local comp (as we moved areas). We also initially lived in a deprived area (until we moved when ds was in sixth form). Dd actually got several contextual offers for uni, despite her previous education. Lots of universities just look at postcode.

I'd say both of them didn't really settle properly into friendship groups until Jan in my daughter's case, and probably March for my son. However, they were perfectly happy until that point. They both spent lots of energy on making new friends, but that was exciting and didn't make too much difference to their work. Dd got A star/A/A and ds is waiting for his results in August.

Ds switched one subject after October half term and that was manageable - any later, probably too much to catch up on. They're both really happy they moved schools. They have twice as many friends as they'd have otherwise, as they've both kept all their secondary school friends as well as making lots of new ones.

I'd say it's definitely worth doing. It also boosts their confidence as they have the experience of going to a new environment and making new friends. Both were more confident as a result and I'm sure it helped dd at uni.

@crazycrofter That's so very helpful - thank you. Very best wishes to your DS awaiting his results and wow...great results for your DD. It's good to know that although they spent energy making new friends but it didn't detract to much from their work (though they do sound very switched on in the first place!).

I think that how easy it is to change schools for 6th form depends to at least some degree on how many other pupils are also new. There's always quite a few new pupils at my DC's former school for a variety of reasons so the school is set up for handling a substantial number of new pupils into year 12 and there's plenty of kids in the same boat. Plus by the standards of our locality it's quite a big 6th form and whilst it is still very much part of the school it has it's own building which the existing pupils are also unfamiliar with, and the previous classes get mixed up so it is actually all quite new for everyone.
My DS who has just finished A levels made loads of new friends in 6th form, some who were new to the school but also some who had also been in the school since year 7 but he'd never had lessons with as they were in the other half of the year.
So I'd imagine it is very different moving into a situation like that than being one of a very small number moving into a small 6th form where everyone knows each other well. So I'd suggest looking quite closely at how the 6th form at the potential new school is set up and how many new pupils typically join in Year 12.

@MrsAvocet I'd imagine that the grammar has quite a few joining in year 12 if it's anything like the grammars where we used to live (Birmingham). Dd joined a boys' grammar so all the (40ish) girls were new and there were also a handful of new boys. At the comp ds went to, he wasn't aware of any other new joiners, although I'm sure there were some, but he was happy with that. He said he'd be able to assess what existing friendship groups were like and decide which groups he wanted to join!

@Charlysunnysky I'm not sure whether they're switched on particularly! The grammar was actually good for dd as they made them work in at least half of their free periods (and this was monitored), so she didn't get behind. I'd have liked it if ds' school had been that strict!

@crazycrofter They said there's no such thing as free periods and they will monitor this but I guess we won't know for sure till he starts. The independent definitely do hand-hold and it's the source of the chagrin from his older mates.

@MrsAvocet Good point, and you're right - he would be among 70 new starters in a year group of 172.So quite a big switch up. Apparently many have left to study courses not available at the grammar, and others dislike the business dress rule.

I'm surprised at a state grammar offering FM A-level that doesn't offer it as a 4th rather than 3rd A-level.

I’d definitely double check re fm. DDs grammar was take only 3 A levels but there was a definite exception for maths and fm with 4 being acceptable.

Yes, my ds did.
He decided he hated his private school & wanted to move after Christmas. Having missed half the previous term due to anxiety/depression. I struggled to find a school teaching the same exam boards, but one of the local six form colleges was a match. He lasted one day, was fairly ambivalent about going in & then said he didn't fit in🥴 I then I had no option but to beg his old school to accept him back . Which they very kindly did, after he wrote them a very sincere letter stating he was ready to knuckle down, as he had already missed a term of work. Otherwise he would have had to restart the year.
Fast forward another year & he's forecast A's this summer. It was an extremely hairy difficult time.

@Investinmyself and @Schoolchoicesucks Thank you - that does make sense. He has emailed them to ask, so hopefully someone will come back to him before results day. It was also that the independent teach the syllabus in a way that will allows you to take an A/S level at the ned of Y12 if you're performing ok at it but just don't want or need to continue it in Y13. The grammar say they don't offer this.

3 children left DD1's independent school before 6th Form and then returned during the course of the Lower Sixth Year - 2 in Jan and 1 in April. The January ones are staying with their age group & moving up to Upper Sixth in Sept. The Summer Term returnee is redoing their Lower Sixth year.

@Cantonet Goodness me! What a time for you all! I'm so glad he settled back okay and it sounds like it will be a good outcome too - best wishes to you both for results day.

@1stWorldProblems That's helpful to know - thank you!