Is Oxbridge to be avoided?

[ThunderclapNewman]

Firstly, I should say it is obviously up to DC where they apply to and where they choose to go. And our job to support.
DC is considering Oxbridge. The course is not available at all uni's and the O&C variants would be a good, although not perfect, fit - but nowhere is. The small city, slightly sheltered vibe would also suit.
Having followed the O&C threads over many years, the feeling on here seems to increasingly be that Oxbridge is something to avoided, due to huge amounts of work compared to other places, the stress that comes with this and the expectations, the difficulty of obtaining a high degree classification (combined with higher levels of blind recruitment), the lack of time for socialising etc.
DH went to Oxbridge in the 90's and simply doesn't recognise the issues with workload (non-STEM). DC also interested in non-STEM). Have things changed so much since then?

They are amazing places to study but to answer your question about whether the workload has increased, based on a sample size of 3 😂, I think it has.

Certainly, my DC seemed to have twice as much written work and tutorials/supervisions (all STEM degrees). Although they didn’t have to spend days in several different libraries searching through card indexes, waiting hours for things to be retrieved from the stacks or hoping that the book from the lending library they need will be returned before their essay is due 😂

From their friends’ experiences on non-STEM degrees, I think the difference is even greater. My boyfriend at college pretty much wrote one essay a week, went to his one hour tutorial and that was it. He got a double first in history in the 90s.

Well it's a deliberately slightly provocative title 😉.

Clearly most applicants do not get in, we all know that.
I am grateful for people giving their thoughts and describing quite a range of experiences.
'The point' was that I have seen more and more descriptions of Oxbridge as something to be avoided for the reasons already given; that it was almost bad parenting to not dissuade your child from applying. I was trying to get further into that.

'Bad parenting'? Wherever have you seen that put forward?
The overwhelming response I got when asked what my DD's A level results was 'why isn't she applying to Oxbridge?' She has, but did not want people to know as didn't want to face the (sympathetic but she would see as pitying) looks she'd get when she told them she didn't get an offer (still a week to go to find out). That tells me Oxbridge is still held as an excellent and one of the most aspirational places to go.

If someone wants to go a top university they should be expected to do the work