Page 22 | University Offers Coming In 23/4 - part 2!

WombatChocolate · 2024-01-09T18:39:35+00:00

Following on from the old thread which was getting full….come and share the highs and lows of the journey that is A Levels and UCAS!

Rollergirl11 · 04/02/2024 13:38

I guess Exeter has the nickname “Surrey on sea” for a reason! Having said that it will likely be either firm or insurance for DD and we are from Surrey so maybe there’s something in it! 😂

TiaSeeya · 04/02/2024 13:47

WombatChocolate · 04/02/2024 13:07

Yes, the anti-posh people often don’t really know what they mean by ‘posh’ or what they don’t like about it, but have just decided they don’t like the sound of a particular place because of rumours.

Mention of Hooray Henry’s, Rahs and other similar terms fill them with dread as being an unknown. And they sometimes conclude that everyone from a particular school type, or a particular region of the country will be Hooray Henry’s. Some never visit, so never have their pre-conceptions dispelled (or confirmed) but perpetuate them further to other potential students. Often parents also use these terms to signify ‘other’ and often even a single encounter with boorish behaviour can make a massive impression and tar a university in the minds of the young person visiting. I suppose nuance is something that’s difficult to grasp and if you’re only visiting for a very few hours, things which are small can make a big impression, because you ultimately do need to weigh them up and discard some.

I suppose 17 year olds are trying to synthesise a lot of info about a lot of places they don’t know and have to narrow their choices. They have to make decisions about what they like and don’t like. It might be campus or city, north or south, catering or self catering, and types of people is another category they seem to use a lot. They do have to use some kind of criteria for narrowing their choices. I think some see it as an exciting opportunity to meet different types of people and broaden their horizons, but also in reality, many are quite fearful about the unknown. I think it’s a reason why many areas or schools or colleges have some popular unis which lots seem to go to every year. Many, if not all like the ides of the well-trodden path, that ‘people like them’ from their areas or school or college have gone on before.

Yes, that’s definitely the case round here where there are 1 or 2 unis that are the popular ones, as they are “known” despite being 3 hours away.

DD definitely is guilty of looking at people at open day and trying to work out if she’d feel comfortable with them. Of course uni is about stretching yourself socially as well as academically - I wonder if the Covid years have made our teens a wee bit more fearful. DD decided one uni had “mean girl vibes” (don’t ask, NO idea 🙄) and another where “all the girls are so well put together it’s intimidating”. I’m not sure it’s anything to do with “poshness” whatever that is. I guess the sweet spot for her is a place she feels at home but is still really diverse and it’s not all “copy and paste”.

stoneysongs · 04/02/2024 14:00

@TiaSeeya please do reveal the mean girl uni and the intimidating one - just the kind of thing DD would say 😂

I do think they are highly attuned to the different teen tribes. I miss most of it until she says something like look out for trainers, and then I realise they're almost all the same.

TiaSeeya · 04/02/2024 14:02

stoneysongs · 04/02/2024 14:00

@TiaSeeya please do reveal the mean girl uni and the intimidating one - just the kind of thing DD would say 😂

I do think they are highly attuned to the different teen tribes. I miss most of it until she says something like look out for trainers, and then I realise they're almost all the same.

LOL NO WAY!!! I’ll PM it 😂

Rollergirl11 · 04/02/2024 14:08

@TiaSeeya my DD was doing that at open days too and there’s nothing wrong with that! In fact when we went to the open day at Exeter both of us commented that the girls all looked the same, as did the Mum’s. It was like a uniform. 😂 We did think it didn’t seem particularly diverse but that’s not a deal breaker for DD. She loves the course and had a really inspiring subject talk and that is what cemented it as a favourite.

Original poster

WombatChocolate · 04/02/2024 14:37

My DS said a girl he knew who also went to a particular Open Day ranked the unis she visited by how attractive and well-put together the kids attending were. Apparantly she said here was a real difference in places where people had good haircuts, or were attractive! My DS fortunately had noticed nothing like this!

But yes, I think they are hyper-sensitive about how they and others look and how they and others come across. They are quick to judge and decide they like or don’t like people or they are ‘their type’ or not. I think a lot of it comes from a lack of confidence and this can make them fearful and judgemental and a bit insular often. But hopefully uni will expose them to lots of new things and broaden their horizons and help them become more outward looking and embracing towards difference. Ali suppose that’s something we all hope for as parents and a big reason why we think going away to university is so important and beneficial. They aren’t 21 year old graduates yet. They are 16 and 17 year olds when they do most of their Open Days and 17 or 18 when they do their UCAS form and make their choices. Some are more open and flexible and confident than others and some have had broader experiences than others.

OP posts:

lastdayatschool · 04/02/2024 16:19

@WombatChocolate reminds me of my shallow 17 year old DS who, when I asked him what his biggest takeaway from his first open day was, replied: "English girls are fit".

His next uni visit was a minor, minor improvement with: "the rugby pitches are decent"

mondaytosunday · 04/02/2024 17:30

When I went to university I don't recall there was such a thing as open days (this was the US). You were interviewed so that was the only time you saw the place and it may have included a tour. So I never met more than one or two students as it wasn't like you were all interviewed in the same week or anything. So I chose based on course and location. Of course universities have a reputation but I don't think I knew enough (and no internet or YouTube then)! After a circuitous route I ended up in NY (not where I'd want to live) and I didn't see another student til the first day of classes. It was a means to an end, I don't think it really mattered to me who else was going.

Original poster

WombatChocolate · 04/02/2024 17:34

Haha! Reminds us that they are 17/18 doesn’t it. Supposedly very nearly grown-up and ready for the world, but still very young and not very worldly-wise or certainly don’t see things quite as us old parents do!

Reminds me of parents taking their 10 year olds to look at secondaries and asking which school they liked best. Kids always easily ‘bought’ by the schools that offered a few cakes or a chance to play football or showing a slideshow of an exotic foreign trip. It never occurred to them that they would spend most of the time sitting at a desk and writing in an exercise book!

Loved (or was amused is better word) that DS’s friend who is a girl was drawn to places with lots of girls with swishy expensive hair cuts. But I also know some other girls who wouldn’t want to be somewhere with those swishy expensive haircuts. But either way, both types of girls had clocked the haircuts and been influenced by these little details.

Perhaps us parents notice the other parents at the Open Days and are unwittingly thinking about if they look like us or not?? I suppose we all do it to a degree or other.

OP posts:

Delphigirl · 04/02/2024 17:43

WombatChocolate · 04/02/2024 17:34

Haha! Reminds us that they are 17/18 doesn’t it. Supposedly very nearly grown-up and ready for the world, but still very young and not very worldly-wise or certainly don’t see things quite as us old parents do!

Reminds me of parents taking their 10 year olds to look at secondaries and asking which school they liked best. Kids always easily ‘bought’ by the schools that offered a few cakes or a chance to play football or showing a slideshow of an exotic foreign trip. It never occurred to them that they would spend most of the time sitting at a desk and writing in an exercise book!

Loved (or was amused is better word) that DS’s friend who is a girl was drawn to places with lots of girls with swishy expensive hair cuts. But I also know some other girls who wouldn’t want to be somewhere with those swishy expensive haircuts. But either way, both types of girls had clocked the haircuts and been influenced by these little details.

Perhaps us parents notice the other parents at the Open Days and are unwittingly thinking about if they look like us or not?? I suppose we all do it to a degree or other.

Love this. We went to a school open day one Saturday in April with DD2 aged 9. In the classroom they had a load of sweet baby chicks cheeping around. DD said “Oh I want to go here! They have chicks!”
I beckoned over a student helper and had the following conversation: “When did these chicks arrive?” “Thursday” “When will they go” “Probably Monday”. Early lesson in marketing techniques!!. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TenSheds · 04/02/2024 18:21

Rollergirl11 · 04/02/2024 14:08

@TiaSeeya my DD was doing that at open days too and there’s nothing wrong with that! In fact when we went to the open day at Exeter both of us commented that the girls all looked the same, as did the Mum’s. It was like a uniform. 😂 We did think it didn’t seem particularly diverse but that’s not a deal breaker for DD. She loves the course and had a really inspiring subject talk and that is what cemented it as a favourite.

Same here (though insurance rather than favourite). I think the thing is anxiety about being the odd one out - if the cohort seems to be dominated by one demographic, and you're not part of it, I can understand how that could be daunting, no matter how nice the people, especially if you feel in any way disadvantaged. DD really doesn't want to go to a uni where she knows a lot of people already - but she doesn't want to feel like an outsider either and needs only the smallest of connections to reassure her (a solitary other Welsh person, evidence of common interest or musical tastes) and preconceptions will be quickly overcome.

Tortiemiaw · 09/02/2024 17:39

On a slight tangent....we will be applying for the disabled students grant for dd. Has anyone had experience of this?

loobylou44 · 09/02/2024 20:49

@Tortiemiaw we applied for DSA this year for DD. What do you want to know?

Tortiemiaw · 09/02/2024 21:09

Thank you! Just how tricky the process is, really - and is the amount decided by them, or do we ask for certain things? It's for dds hearing impairment

loobylou44 · 09/02/2024 22:12

@Tortiemiaw it's really easy to apply for. You apply at the same time as student finance and send medical evidence when requested. Once approved you will be put in touch with an assessor who will have an 'interview' with you and your child to discuss needs and how they can help. I'm not sure what help is available for hearing impairment but my dd has ADHD and was given special software for her laptop, a printer with an ink and paper allowance, specialist mentor support for 2 hours a week and various other things.
We found the whole process quite straightforward and the assessor was able to suggest this to help that we hadn't even thought about. The only thing I would say is to apply as soon as student finance applications open so that you have plenty of time to organise things.
Hope that helps. If you have any other questions then I'll try to answer them.

Tortiemiaw · 10/02/2024 08:34

Wonderful. Thanks so much. She'd really benefit from such things as a recording device for lectures, potentially some software, not sure what else but we will definitely apply

OurspoonscamefromWoolworths · 10/02/2024 21:51

Congratulations to all of our young people. I have loved reading the good news and feel for those facing disappointment. It feels so much more high stakes than when I applied long, long ago. I have found the process for DD far more stressful than it was for me. Anyway, she just got an offer for Durham (her first choice) so big relief in the Spoons household. No other offers yet. A general thanks to you all because lurking has helped gather information as well as some perspective. Good luck to them all.

TheOnlyMrsW · 11/02/2024 11:11

Congrats to your DD @OurspoonscamefromWoolworths , she must be really pleased! Interesting reading about all the thoughts regarding people at open days etc. I often wonder what people think of us when we're out and about as a group (very rare as Dad's dad and I separated when she was 17 months), DD has blue hair, mine is any colour of the rainbow but currently pink plus tattoos and her dad is very straightlaced and grumpy-looking!!!! I've mentioned before that we haven't seen many of Dad's choices so based them on course content but DD did pay particular attention to t-shirts to see if there were band or geeky ones!!!!

About to start the whole round of offer holder days so we'll have a better idea of things after that.........mocks were pretty rough for DD and we now have 13 weeks til study leave starts, all coming in very quickly now!!!!

OurspoonscamefromWoolworths · 11/02/2024 15:12

Good luck to DD TheOnlyMrsW. It is interesting to see how our young people make their choices. Mine was looking at most successful on University Challenge! I am sure they will find their tribe.

WobblyLondoner · 12/02/2024 01:07

OurspoonscamefromWoolworths · 10/02/2024 21:51

Congratulations to all of our young people. I have loved reading the good news and feel for those facing disappointment. It feels so much more high stakes than when I applied long, long ago. I have found the process for DD far more stressful than it was for me. Anyway, she just got an offer for Durham (her first choice) so big relief in the Spoons household. No other offers yet. A general thanks to you all because lurking has helped gather information as well as some perspective. Good luck to them all.

@OurspoonscamefromWoolworths it's irrelevant to this thread, but an anecdote about your user name - my DP was reading that same book on a street corner in central London and a woman walked to him and said she was the niece (perhaps great niece??) of Barbara Comyns, its author. She'd felt she had to approach him as she'd never seen anyone reading her before. He was so chuffed!

OurspoonscamefromWoolworths · 12/02/2024 17:07

@WobblyLondoner what a great anecdote! Thank you for sharing. How many times do you get to share it? ! I am very envious. I love Comyns books but Our Spoons is my favourite.

catmomof3 · 12/02/2024 21:29

My daughter just firmed UCL for her course, she was really debating over going there or Kings but at least it's done now and tomorrow I think she will put in her accommodation application.

Angrymum22 · 12/02/2024 22:13

WombatChocolate · 04/02/2024 14:37

My DS said a girl he knew who also went to a particular Open Day ranked the unis she visited by how attractive and well-put together the kids attending were. Apparantly she said here was a real difference in places where people had good haircuts, or were attractive! My DS fortunately had noticed nothing like this!

But yes, I think they are hyper-sensitive about how they and others look and how they and others come across. They are quick to judge and decide they like or don’t like people or they are ‘their type’ or not. I think a lot of it comes from a lack of confidence and this can make them fearful and judgemental and a bit insular often. But hopefully uni will expose them to lots of new things and broaden their horizons and help them become more outward looking and embracing towards difference. Ali suppose that’s something we all hope for as parents and a big reason why we think going away to university is so important and beneficial. They aren’t 21 year old graduates yet. They are 16 and 17 year olds when they do most of their Open Days and 17 or 18 when they do their UCAS form and make their choices. Some are more open and flexible and confident than others and some have had broader experiences than others.

It’s so true that they change so much from when they visit to when they start Uni. My Dniece applied to her local Uni and had them as first choice for architecture then her insurance choice was a Uni all her friends had chosen. In results day she missed her grades, well wasn’t awarded the grades she was expecting (2020) she was in a brand new 6th form with no historical data so the algorithm didn’t work.
Anyway by results day she had changed her mind about architecture, had matured so worked out that going with your friends wasn’t really a sensible choice, so entered clearing and was offered Russell Group course she wanted and hasn’t looked back. My DSis suggested she rang her Aunts for their opinion. She admitted to me that she was an academic snob , realised that a degree in her subject was likely to give her a better start from a RG but was just wary about the distance from home. She is only an hour and a half from me so I just said if she struggled I wasn’t far away. That was that.
I think it is difficult for most yr11’s to decide what to do. DS’s yr (2023 A levels) had zero opportunity to do work experience. They missed out on so much career guidance. Having taken a year out he is far more focused and has a little more direction. He intends to do Business since he feels this will give him a good base. But in 6months a lot can change and he may change his mind and go through clearing.
He is still waiting for replies from 3 of his choices but has two unconditional offers, one is a niche course in a growth area of sport, which was his wild card. Hopefully he will go to offer days and make up his mind.

GoingDownLikeBHS · 17/02/2024 11:24

@Tortiemiaw and @loobylou44 my DD will need this as well. In fact I’m really worried how she’ll cope. DD is 21 soon; she’s been more or less housebound due to severe anxiety since she was 15. She’s determined to get to uni and is ploughing through an Access to HE course online. Based on that shes received 2 conditional offers and 2 portfolio requests (fashion). But I’m thinking how in the holy fuck is this even going to be feasible?!

BaileysAllRound · 17/02/2024 14:02

We're still waiting for 2 offers (Exeter and m'cr) to come in, I thought we'd be done by now! Offer holder days coming up for the ones she already has offers for, I hope they reply soon one way or another.