Oxbridge 2024 Entry Part 5

[YouOKHun]

Good Luck everyone whatever the outcome!

So true @Tindrum

I was helping at an event at school a couple of weeks ago - with 4 parents of current Oxbridge children and 2 hopeful ones - one O and one C. They were asking us whether our children were happy and enjoying it. All of us without exception said "Um, yes, but....." . We all have STEM students though, and the Week 5/6 crash is real - the workload is intense and whilst they do manage to row and have some fun, it's far less fun than contemporaries who were unsuccessful. I think DS sometimes wistfully wonders 'what if' he'd accepted offers from the other prestigious unis he had offers from......whilst accepting that he's immensely lucky to be studying where he is. Also, he has found the adjustment from always finding things easy academically, and being top of the class/school (literally won the prize for best A levels results at his superselective grammar), to being very much middle of the cohort and sometimes feeling totally bamboozled by concepts others seem to find incredibly easy to grasp.

However, I did ask if he ever thought about not accepting C in favour of Imperial or Bristol - and he looked at me as though I had two heads 😂

rather those who are suited to a very small intense almost boarding school environment in addition to be intelligent.

That's also the feedback I heard from an ex Cambridge grad. If there is an offer, I'm not sure it's an automotive yes from me...it might however be for my ds. We haven't discussed it since no point until we know if it's a reality.

Thank you. Dd didn’t go to Cambridge for UG so yes might take longer

I meant that the fact that he'd already graduated might have accelerated the process rather than that he did his undergrad at Oxford!

A couple of my other DC did / are doing postgrad at Oxford and heard slightly later, but applied while still undergrads.

But you know, different unis, although probably keep things roughly in tandem.

@mondaytosunday yes exactly, also the living style is a particular one - you effectively live, eat and learn in the same building (hence boarding school analogy) and there are a host of strict rules, though fines for parties probably are a badge of honour for some, this almost school-like restriction wouldn't be for some who are ready to stretch their wings. Your landlord is also your pastoral care provider and teacher which can be a bit conflicting. There is little inter-college mixing so it is worth considering the very small world you are signing up to, more like a collection of mini Unis that keep to their own - comforting for some, limiting and claustrophobic for others after 3 years. I was there an age ago but it doesn't sound like much has changed from what my DS's girlfriend reports. Still the secret clubs and events that you do or don't get invited to that could feel cliquey and exclusionary, not a problem if you are robust and simply don't care about that sort of thing though.

@Tindrum and @mondaytosunday It is the sort of environment DC is in at the moment, hence why we thought it would be a good fit ;-)

As we said, onwards and upwards!

@Panicmode1 ha, yes had they got offers I'd have thought they had lost their minds if they had turned down an Oxbridge offer down. I'm saying that despite my DD currently studying and loving it at Bristol lol. But that's on me right.

@RIPMatthewperry it could be they thought you DC had outgrown that environment? Who knows? You can be sure they will have got something valuable long term out of the process and will thrive elsewhere also.

There is the full range of personalities at Oxbridge, like anywhere else. Yes, there are some quieter students who prefer to socialise less, or just have friends in their college. But there is also the complete opposite and everything inbetween. DS has friends in almost all colleges. He's in other colleges every day. They are all over the place. Cambridge is massively social and it's hard to go out without bumping into anyone and everyone. There is the SU where loads of speakers come for debates and there events there and they can drop in any day for whatever. They have supervisions in other colleges; go to events / clubs/ formals all sorts all over the uni. It really doesn't need to be claustrophobic - like any uni, it's what they want make of it. I would argue it's easier to 'find your people' somewhere like Cambridge, Oxford or Bath or Durham etc than in large cities where everyone is quite dispersed (accommodation-wise) and people will hang out / socialise in different parts of town. The colleges aren't like a boarding school really. The tutors don't come into the accommodation or have anything to do with that side of things.

Oh sorry, misunderstood. Dd has graduated already.

I went to Cambridge and did find life pretty like a boarding school and didn't like it for that reason - I went back recently for a reunion and didn't find nostalgia made me like it any more. However, some people loved it precisely for that vibe. I'm not, however, convinced people are chosen who they think will enjoy the collegiate atmosphere, by interview stage it's all to do with the luck of which questions are put to you and then the college wanting to keep its intake as diverse as possible, for reasons I understand and have no problem with.

@Umbilicate very good point

This is the reason my son wouldn’t contemplate O even though he’s very clever. He wants a ‘lesser’ uni so he can have some fun as well. He had some MH issues last year so I think it’s very much the best choice for him, and to be honest even though he’s clever I think a place like O he’d be going from big fish in a small pond to small fish in a big pond when we see how clever some of those stem students are.

@Panicmode1 Thanks for your insight, very interesting. My son will also study Engineering but at Ox and since yesterday he's definitely been feeling the imposter syndrome, thinking he's just been lucky (despite having always been top of a very selective secondary school, academic scholar, all 9s and A stars* etc)... He knows his grades are a result of *consistent hard work over the years, not just natural abilities, and that all the other students will be g&t geniuses with higher natural abilities. He's also planning to do some work over the summer holidays and September to get a head start. Is this necessary? He told me he heard Cambridge sets some work for engineering over the summer holidays before they start, is that true?

I wonder if he's overthinking... From the outside, he seems to have a healthy work life balance, doing a lot of sports/extra curriculars, socialising, going out, holidaying here and there (his moto is work hard play hard 🎉).

Two heads, made me laugh @Panicmode1 😂

Yes, it's not for all but the academic intensity and competition, and the more intimate setting, are exactly why I think mine will thrive at O too. She's hugely sociable and will make friends all over the place, but very much in a coffee and cake or society vibe - she's really not keen on the pub, club, party lifestyle and gets quite cross seeing Y14 friends casually skipping lectures. She has no time for slackers! She is sold on the charm and prestige, but I think the location is good for her as well - polarised feelings towards cities (likes vibrancy and character of Edinburgh and London, but found Liverpool and Glasgow uncomfortable). I'm grateful they have seen potential in her 😊

Hi @Blutides - congratulations to your DS. Yes, he had work set as soon as his place was confirmed in August, and he has small projects he has to work on every 'holiday'- a coding problem to solve or something like that. Not sure what it's like at Oxford, but I imagine it's similar.

Your DS sounds very similar to mine - he had all 9s at GCSE and all A stars in his 4 As and his EPQ, never really struggled with anything, but has found it difficult to be mid table; he resigned himself to not getting a first after his first year and says he will settle for a high 2:1 (fingers crossed!). I don't think he will ever work as hard again - they have to cram SO much into 8 weeks, when other unis have longer terms. At Cambridge, they tend to have to hand projects in around week 5 and he often phones in a total flap about how on earth he's going to get it all done - so often a 'care package' from home with some food or something silly around that time of the term is welcome, even if it doesn't solve the scheduling crises.....he also loves to live life to the full - but there just isn't that much time with which to play - he rows, goes to the union and the bops and socials but he certainly isn't partying as hard as some of his friends at Durham and Bristol! We aren't that far away so he sometimes comes home for a Sunday roast mid term which is lovely and it means we can go up for formal hall fairly easily too which is a special thing to do.

@Blutides you can reassure your DS that everyone at O will not be a genius. In fact the majority will be just like him - very bright, very good at their chosen subject and hardworking. I say this based on the experience of DC1 who is currently in their second year there, and knowing a lot of people who either went to, or are currently at O or C. DC1 is comfortably “in the pack” getting strong 2:1s rather than firsts, and happy enough with that.

Also, it is simply statistically impossible for everyone to be geniuses. If you consider a genius to be someone with an IQ of say 145 or above, they make up roughly 0.1% of the population - so c600 to 650 in each school year. Even if every single one of them went to O or C, the would still make up only about 10% of the year group.

If you are asking if my DS attends an I dependant school - the answer is no.

If you are referring to something else please specify. I’m new to MN so unfamiliar with all the functions. But if I’m referring/replying to a specific post, I quote it by using the 3 dots at the top right of the post. With the number of posts I between, this makes it easier to keep track who’s asking/saying something in relation to a specific post.

I would agree that the environment won’t suit everyone and what you’ve described in your post most certainly should be a big consideration. DS and DD are both academically able, but whilst we all agree C environment will suit DS down to a tee, it’s probably not the right place for DD’s personality.

Thanks again @Panicmode1 and @InvestedButNotOverinvested your insight is so valuable. I am going to do a copy and paste of many of these comments to reassure him. The only thing he might struggle with is to accept he should be content with a 2:1, both of you sound unanimous on that😬
I might also include the posts from the other thread about existing Oxbridge students having to work hard over the holidays so he knows what to expect... On this front I'm so glad I read this other thread last night (I didn't want to open it before finding out) as I was about to start planning a two weeks trip over the Christmas holidays, how foolish of me (I'm not from this country so totally new to this system).

https://thetab.com/uk/2023/04/19/these-are-the-russell-group-universities-where-you-are-most-likely-to-get-a-first-304186

Don't bother going to Oxford or Cambridge if you want to increase your chances of getting a first. The national average is 32%, Oxford gave 32.4% last year and Cambridge 29.4%. Imperial, UCL, Durham, Queen Mary, Kings etc all have better odds.

From the TAB article @HewasH2O linked to:

"In fact, at Imperial College London almost half of last year’s graduates (48.5 per cent) got a first."

That is crazy. And IMO undermines what getting a first should signify, and has signified in the past.

Sorry, I'm not a prospective Oxford 2024 parent, DD didn't apply but I am a prospective Uni 24 parent and I saw the above post and couldn't help responding. Hope you don't mind.

I don't think any of my DC would recognise Tindrum's description of contemporary Oxford (even though Tindrum was describing Cambridge, but I assume sliding the description across to Oxford too). It doesn't resemble the reality at all.

Mine graduated last year. It always surprises people when they see that you're more likely to get a first from (say) Leeds than Oxford or Sheffield than Cambridge. No disrespect to any of them BTW.

Yes but top employers know that and they're the only ones interested in firsts, so it's not a big deal tbh.