Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued (2)

[Panicmode1]

The other thread is nearly full so I took the liberty of starting a new one...

Oh @Riverpebble that would make me sad too (whilst being proud of them for doing an internship!)

I hope you manage to spend a bit of time together over Christmas...although we find that even when DS is home, he's mostly studying, but at least he appears for meals and it is comforting just having him under the same roof for a bit!

So true, @Panicmode1 . DD was visibly present yesterday, with all her things to sort and stash, relatives to visit, and home-cooked meals to wolf down. Today, not so much, and I daresay it'll dwindle down to brief appearances and operational text messages until she goes off to see friends at another university towards the end of the week.

Ah @Riverpebble that's a bit hard, especially as it has to be stiff upper lip from the parental end.

I got an hour of attention from ds today having picked up his stuff, and he may on fact come home tomorrow night after his random extra supervision, so it won't be long before he lands. I'm also expecting 72 hours of him in a dressing gown/asleep, followed by nonstop trips out to catch up.

I have to say that the second year is the best year imo. Ds seems pretty happy and we don't have yo think about the wider world or the future yet. He's thinking probably a post university travel/gap year, which for the Covid bunch seems very sensible to me.

@Ironoaks, as she has no firm
plans she’s going for an integrated Masters

@pepperaunt - good plan; I think the course includes a field trip in Spain.

@Riverpebble I hope you get to spend at least some time together

DS is home! This is the first time he hasn't had to clear out his room, so he has only packed the essentials: a small bag of clothes, a clarinet, a laptop, three lever arch folders full of lecture notes and a portable hard drive of lab data (lent by supervisor with permission).

DS is home here too, called on Saturday asking to be picked up yesterday. He had originally planned to stay this week to plod on with the endless interviews/tests he has scheduled but seems in need of a few home comforts. He's a 4th year do thus is likely to be one of the last holidays we have him for any significant time.

Mine is home too, having a productive day of admin. Am quite impressed!

Mine came home yesterday, has spent today washing and repacking, and leaves tomorrow for a few days away with her BF. They are celebrating both being elected to JCR committee -clearly a college power couple ! She is exhausted and missing college life already but has mentioned lengthy reading lists so not sure how much of a break she will get this time.

Hi there, a prospective parent here - wondering about the shorter terms and therefore shorter room lets in halls - is there ever options for students to extend room rentals into the hols by a couple ofweeks?? Or rent a room in ox/cam?

Do your DCs all come home for very long hols?

Many thanks!

@yogiannie it depends on college. DD’s college has both a ten week a term licence plus a continuous licence (covers Christmas and Easter but not the long vacation). She has a friend at Kings (Cambridge) who was out at the earliest opportunity this term and they are strongly encouraged out as they have lots of Christmas events as you might imagine. DD came home on 2nd December but a friend in her college is there another two weeks to help with interviews (accommodation and time paid for).

DD had a 39 week lease from Christmas 2020 onwards. The downside was that we paid for an extra 15 week's rent each year which is very pricey.

DS usually goes back a week early for rowing and stays a week later to use the library/catch up a bit, but it depends what is going on in college as to whether they can/do stay. He went back up in the summer to help with a summer school introduction to STEM for Y11 students, which he said he was fairly superfluous for but they got paid reasonably well!

DD's Oxford college have a scheme where you can pay to store boxes over the vacation

• you pay by the box. DS1's Oxford college don't. The box option has been very useful!

DD's Cambridge college also has a lease arrangement that extends through the Christmas and Easter holidays. It means we don't have to collect all her belongings every time, but as others have said it does increase the costs. She came back more or less as soon as term finished this time, because she had things to do at home, but she's going back next week for a few nights to use the libraries and go to a play rehearsal, and she'll go back soon after New Year to do the same. So it gives her a lot of flexibility and does make my life easier (if more expensive!)

My child came home and appears to have done nothing but eat and sleep.
started doing some work yesterday but is stressed they will fail prelims next term. apparently i cannot help, it is too dire a situation and all my suggestions are rubbish.
also stressed because rowing club have given them a training schedule and they haven't managed to carry it out yet (because of 3 days of vegetating). and don't have a rowing machine. so i have suggested going to local council gym and joining for a month. this has been met with approval, so hopefully that will resolve.
i thought it would be easier now they have made it to uni.

and i had hoped for lovely dog walks and hot chocolate watching christmas films!

@sytron hang on in there. They have just had the most intense 2 months of their lives so far and, having made lots of their own decisions, now have to drop back into the family hierarchy. Give them a few more days and I'm sure they will be fine.

In DD's college, most rooms have a lockable cupboard which students can use over the vacations. Getting "the key" was always a big moment and because DD is tiny and the cupboard is 2m off the floor, it was always a precarious experience putting stuff in and getting it back out again. No need for that any more as she is in a privately rented house with her mates.

@Malbecfan same for DD, her lockable storage is up high except for kitchen items and she has a lockable kitchen cupboard. She came home on Saturday with half of what she went up with as duvet covers, college gown, towels, dressing gown, blankets, lamp, dry food goods, kitchen paraphenalia are all left at College. Interestingly the only food she came home with was her tub of butter as it had cost her £4 and didn't want it to go to waste and wasn't allowed to leave it in her room fridge. I think that is her Scottish grandmother coming out in her 😆.

Completely echo @Malbecfan and the sage advice @sytron

I had completely rose tinted glasses on when DS came home for Christmas last year - like you, I thought long dog walks and chats! It took a few days, but once he'd de-stressed, realised that he knew more than he thought and that he had time to figure out the bits he didn't, he relaxed!

(And I wouldn't worry TOO much about the rowing - we do have a rowing machine and DS only used it once I think...he just went back early and put in some time on the ergs).

Thank you for your supportive messages. I do have to keep reminding DC that nobody 'sails through' university completely, and it is hard work.
Hopefully they are starting to return to normal - they sent me a meme about 'home to a full fridge' which they clearly identified with😂

and they have managed to go to the local gym, so that's another win!

Reintegrating is hard, isn't it? I do vaguely remember hating the first few days of the holidays when it felt like I was expected to go back to being a school kid again even though I'd been having independent adult adventures.

I did a six hour round trip on Sunday to pick DD up. She wanted to go out for lunch with her friends before she left, and we could only park in college for 30 minutes, so I really did just arrive, use the bathroom, help her with her bags and get back in the car. She slept all the way home, gave me a hug and a thank you for the lift, put on a load of washing and went out that evening. She's been at her dad's house since Monday and is off to visit her boyfriend tomorrow for three nights. So we've had about three hours of contact in total. Before she left, she had reverted to "velcro child", desperate to hang out with me, spend time together and bond so I expected something similar but in fact I've barely seen her. I'm sure she'll be around a bit more over the next week or so and she's actually just messaged me to ask if I want to go to the dentist with her later this afternoon. I don't - I'm not that desperate to hang out with her!!

@PepeLePew I read 'reintegrating' as 'regenerating'. I think I've been watching too much Doctor Who.

Since returning, DS has spent every day revising / doing past papers. He's going to come and watch me sing in a carol concert on Saturday though.

Regenerating is hard too!

@sytron mine is a second year rowing, no machine at home, uses local
council gym (sometimes) definitely not training as much as while at college. If they arr super keen, and depending on where you live, local rowing clubs are sometimes keen on extra bodies to make up boats for training sessions.

afterbthe excitement if admin Monday, Tuesday seemed to consist of lazing about and today some books have appeared and there’s studying going on.

@yogiannie seems to me the 8 week term is not accurate- mine always goes back a week before and often has exams that week. You can book extra weeks where he is.

happy holiday everyone