Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued (2)

[Panicmode1]

The other thread is nearly full so I took the liberty of starting a new one...

One less thing to worry about then. Phew!

Glad he got that sorted, @LaundryFairy . But the question is, how can they be in third year already, when they only did their A levels the other day?

Does it speed up? 😂 I can't believe DS1 is now more than half way through (MEng so 4 years!)

And so glad all is well @LaundryFairy!

Thanks, and yes it is hard to believe that we are here already. I’m also struggling to get my head around the notion of DS as a postgrad next year!

Same here @LaundryFairy and @DahliaMacNamara! Seems only yesterday I was perched outside of her closed door trying to overhear her Zoom interview. Not helped by Facebook deciding to show me lots of photos of small DD lately.

God yes, the interview. First one at school: technical fuck-ups galore. I was banished upstairs for the second one, which she understandably elected to do at home, and could only hear measured tones floating up through the floorboards, but I was wildly impressed all the same. And now, no time at all has passed, yet finals are looming. Stop the bloody bus, someone. It's running away from us all.

DS was 2020 cohort so ths last to have an in person interview. His first year was a bit of a mess because of Covid so I glad he had had a 4th year. It has gone so quickly and I was thinking how much I will miss my lunch trips. Last term!

D1, 2020 cohort (graduated last Sept) is still in Oxford, sharing a house with friends and working. She's happy with having a year off from the pressures of academia and is getting her application together for a masters (staying in Oxford). Currently flat hunting with her bf for next year but OMG, the rents even for one bed flats or studio appts are just outrageous. They're going to try for Oxford University accommodation (not affiliated to specific colleges) as bf is just about to start his postgrad. Apparently this is very over subscribed though.

The price of accommodation is crazy. I'm not sure of DD's plans for next year yet but originally she was hoping to come home to save money as her funding only has 12 months more to run. She wants to see me next week (my birthday) but there is no need as we should be in C the weekend after Easter for the graduation. I can't believe she has been there for 6 years and 2 terms.

Reading all the postgraduate posts with some worry! Picking up ds tomorrow so time to stock the fridge today with enormous amounts of cards.

Don't worry @PermanentTemporary . DD is very much more self-sufficient, especially financially. I no longer have to guarantee her rent. She runs things past me mostly because I see things from a different perspective and may notice something she hasn't. Having typed that, I think she's working now - she is doing some shifts in a coffee shop but being evasive about where and when. Typically, it's now that I'm procrastinating from my marking mountain and have time to speak to her...!

I hope the students are able to find some time for rest & relaxation this vacation.

I'm singing in a big concert this evening at our nearest cathedral. Double choir, double orchestra, amazing soloists, all the German consonants (sometimes all in the same bar, or that's how it feels).

Sounds amazing @Ironoaks . What are you singing? I used to play in an orchestra most Saturdays especially towards the end of a term but I've given most of it up due to having my dad around and being sick of local choirs standing yacking behind me when the orchestra is still rehearsing but they are finished.

The St Matthew Passion.
A bit of a choral marathon, but worth it.

I promise we sit quietly when the orchestra is rehearsing; this afternoon we were so quiet that the director forgot we were still there and had to be reminded to dismiss us.

I would gladly play for you @Ironoaks . Unfortunately the mainly elderly choir members round here insist on parking as close to the church as they can without actually being inside. When I turn up with my large instrument, stool, hefty music stand, floor protector, music, stand-light or iPad and foot pedal plus food & clothes, they realise why I have asked for a parking place close to the venue. Still, I get my own back having blocked them in when I take ages packing the car at the end of the concert. Have you ever sung the B minor Mass? I love that piece!

I sang the B minor Mass 8 years ago; it's beautiful.

Having a panic now ds is home. Worries about him are always worse when he's here. He's approaching the age when his dad had his first breakdown (his dad had schizoaffective disorder and died when ds was a teenager). He'll probably be OK, and there is absolutely zero sign of any mental health issues. But I'm feeling the fear.

So sorry you are going through this @PermanentTemporary - I work in mental health and understand your concerns. I hope you can enjoy ds being home - he has done really well and as you rightly say he is likely to be fine. Doesn't necessarily stop the fear though. Hugs.

So sorry that the joy of having DS home is being marred by worry @PermanentTemporary I have a DD with MH issues and you never stop worrying, even when they are outwardly seemingly fine..... I hope that you can try and enjoy the time he's at home and be reassured that he's doing well.

My DS finally secured a summer internship (paid!) this summer for a big national civil engineering company yesterday - I think it would be fair to say that it's probably not his preferred option long term, but it is finally a placement so he's feeling relieved! However, I'm now stressing about how I'm going to get along with losing my 'work' car over the summer because he will be living at home, but will have to drive there and back every day so will have my little car....

So sorry your time with your DS is marred with worry @PermanentTemporary However old they get we still worry. Hugs.

DD is home but away soon for a few days to an European city with friends over Easter.

Well done @Panicmode1 to your DS, sounds like a fantastic opportunity even if not exactly what he hopes to do. Do you have any car pools near you? The nearest one to me is about a mile and a half walk so not ideal but I have similar issues when DH (blue badge so needs to drive) and DD (it is her car after all) is home and I don't have transport, I mostly commute to work by train though but struggle do my pastoral visits in the evenings and weekends without a car as that can involve transporting infirm people from place to place.

Thanks @PettsWoodParadise - there are a few car club cars where I am, but I am being a drama llama and will be fine really. We have a (big) second car but I prefer taking the little one because it fits into small spaces and is far more economical to run. (I don't live a million miles from you if you are still where your user name suggests (I'm in a in royal town ;-)) - and many of the outlying villages I visit have tricky or limited parking).

I've barely seen DS since he's been home - he's been head down catching up with work before he heads off on rowing camp next week - via a birthday catch up with friends at the Boat Race this w/e.

Sending best wishes @Panicmode1 . I understand the worry - my sister has a complex mental health illness which developed in her early twenties and I can’t help but be alert for signs in my family.
I hope you can relax and enjoy the time your DS is home.

Wrong name - I send best wishes to all but especially @PermanentTemporary.

@PermanentTemporary so sorry you're worrying about your DS and I think all young people do struggle to an extent in their teens and twenties but he's doing really well and given he has you as his mother, he's got a great foundation to support him. Hope you can just enjoy having him home.

@JulesJules it's lovely that your DD is still having a good time living in Oxford and I really wish DS2 had decided to stay on and see if he could do a Masters, as he misses his life there so much and feels cut off an isolated back at home. The ups and downs of a law conversion course with so many exams, the multiple choice format, which really doesn't suit him and the odds stacked against getting a TC, at every stage of the process, make me wish that he'd tried to stay in academia and History - his real passion.

@Panicmode1 well done to your DS getting a summer internship. These things are so so competitive these days and sacrificing your car for the summer will be well worth it to support him getting there and back. DS2 hasn't had any opportunity to drive since he passed his text, 2 days before starting at Oxford and DS1 - because of the pandemic - never got the chance to try a second time for his riving test and his theory test is now out of date. However, as both want to work in London, eventually, they're not in any rush to drive.

Meanwhile, DS1 and DS2 are working towards the next set of law conversion exams. They're really worried that the exam at the next stage (called the SQE1) has all multiple choice - 'best answer' format only. So all answers may be correct but only one is deemed the best one.

They'd much prefer essay based exams. Apparently some law applicants with TC offers this year, for one particular law firm, lost their TCs, as they failed by only one or two marks the SQE exam but weren't told that they wouldn't be allowed to resit. So that's it for them. It's so brutal out there!