They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

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I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

Ah no, @Lowther, that's a rough end to the term! Happy birthday to you and a quick recovery to poor old DD.

Oh no @Lowther hope she is feeling better soon, and you get a second chance to celebrate your birthday!

Thank you for the birthday wishes. We intend to celebrate a little over the weekend. DD is improving, bruised but headache better.
Fortunately I had nagged DD to make a pre 19 free eye check up and the opticians did extra scans and all is well. They suggested she has glasses for reading/computer work when necessary, so we ordered some rather nice nhs ones using a discount voucher. The choices now are so much nicer than when I was young!

I haven't seen mine at all really .He finished 2nd year in April ( !) came down with his girlfriend at Easter to see grandparents who were visiting. Went back up and has an internship until end of August. He's then off on holiday with girlfriends family. Then back for third year.
This was after me worrying in year 1 he was home too much.
Actually he's not that sociable with a few close friends so I think here or there is much the same really.

@Invent sounds just right! It's weird though isn't it. My ds phones me every day with a proper detailed chat - sometimes more often.

Sometimes it's inconvenient and my dp hates it. But I can already see it tailing off as he is mainly with his girlfriend in the evening. It will be strange when is stops.

In other news, he's talking about leaving uni. I knew this would happen as he has too much work. Which he loves and uni doesn't really interest him. His grades for year 1 are mainly 70% plus.

I am livid but it's his decision. His exams are really patchy because he was mainly home Ed for health reasons (tho he has 3 A levels). And a degree would just put that all to bed.
His work is a mixture of employed and free lance so it's not that stable really. Also it's a mixture of arts and politics and I know he will at some stage find the arts vacuous (tho much better paid and he gets a lot of freebies off it which is nice). I mean just carry on for another 2 years. Arghhh. I knew this would happen!

I am trying to tell him that if he stops now his sfe will be shot if he changes his mind (he has had 2 years of funding so has 2 left). Most exams you can do it any stage and I'm a fan of that, but he won't be able to afford a degree otherwise.

Could he go part-time on the degree @stilldumdedumming ? I hugely sympathise with no wanting to spend another 2 years doing something which increases debt and may not increase his employability in the short term. Or even defer year 2 for a year?

@tribpot I know! Maybe I am too attached to the idea. I just think work can change quickly and nobody can take the degree away. One of his jobs is teaching debate in schools. He absolutely loves it. If his circumstances change and he wants to teach then he will need his degree (I realise teaching is not an easy profession but there are often opportunities around it).

I have even pointed out that his girlfriend is from overseas. It's unlikely she would go back there but you can't rule it out. And then a degree would be handy for getting some kind of visa.

I mean I know I'm overthinking there but he has pretty significant ADHD and long term is not something he sees.

You are absolutely right though. He should look at all his options.

Dd has passed her first year. After the poor exam results in one module she scraped that one by 1% but the rest were good. No resits needed fortunately, such a relief.

@Downsidesupside Hooray. A relief indeed!

🥳 well done to your DD @Downsidesupside
How come he’s already had two years of SFE @stilldumdedumming - I did a degree much later in life so education is always there. BUT, not having the funding is an issue! Is he finding it boring, irrelevant? Could he switch to something more interesting?

@NotDonna he did a cert HE before hand - told him not to but he isn't good at taking my advice - other people's much better!

His degree is politics which he is fanatical about. so I don't think there's anything he would prefer really. He's got all his options lined up too for next year so it should be more tailored to his preferences anyway.

Hmm I know him well. He will push a decision to the back burner as he has more interesting things to do. So given that he wants to stay living in London and he has already done his SFE for year 2 I think I can hope he trundles into next year and goes from there. (I realise that sounds bad as he should be making a proper decision but as I say this sort of thing is so low down his list). He's bloody good at academic stuff too so it's frustrating (to me).

His political comms boss has told him to get his degree and I know he respects her. She was instrumental in securing the graduate visa his girlfriend is on!

Ah I see. That all makes sense. Sounds like it’s much better to take a step back and he’ll probs choose what you think anyway.

Agreed, it sounds like inertia will probably carry him in the direction you're hoping for anyway, @stilldumdedumming - fingers crossed.

We’ve just moved DS to his second year house but was surprised that none of his housemates had parents helping and they are all moving over the course of a few days. One is an international student which is fair enough but the other two live prob a similar distance from the city as we do.
DS struggles w anxiety and when we turned up yesterday morning he hadn’t packed anything, just stripped his bed and took down his posters etc (white tacked so no marks). It took about 2.5 hours to pack, we bought suitcases up etc. They had to meet the landlord at midday for the key so was a bit stressful and they’re all going back to clean as the halls tenancy has a few more days on it as there’s no way they would’ve had time yesterday.
Next year he’ll have to move out before the 3rd year tenancy starts unless they stay put. I have also helped dd in the past - she has a lot more stuff but last year I left her snd her best friend to it - had to hire a removals firm and they helped them carry the stuff in. This year she’s staying put Tfft.

I don’t think very many are able to move straight from halls into their 2nd year house so that’s quite a bonus @Cattyisbatty DD will have gaps throughout I expect as she’s hoping for a year in industry for her 3rd year then return to uni in 4th.

@NotDonna - usually halls tenancies go in to July a bit so there’s overlap, but with the houses it’s the opposite so they can be cleaned. I know his tenancy ends 28 June next year so they’ll have two days in between.

That's interesting @Cattyisbatty where DS is, the private tenancies run from about 15th September of one year to about 7th September the year after, so you pay for the summer after the academic year rather than the one before.

My sons is the same (UoM) - we moved him yesterday. Dd however (Durham) had to be out of college by 22/6 but her tenancy for the house starts 15/07 so we’ll have to go back up to Durham over the summer to sort the house out and then she can go up on the train in September.

Same here @tribpot - DS's Exeter house is from mid September until end August.

And, for whatever reason, 1st month's rent had to be paid by 1st July, but then next payment isn't until mid October.

Landlord maybe going om a nice holiday lol

That’s the same as DDs in York. So going up during summer with the car load of stuff to move her in & then she’ll get the train up in Sept.

Hello, everyone, hope your summers are going well.

I'm having a bad wobble about dd's 2nd year accommodation - just read the Trustpilot ratings for the lettings agency that manage it and they are very, very, very bad. The rental market in Bristol is so awful that dd was just relieved to get anywhere and signed on the dotted line without doing any research. Now it seems the best I can hope for is that I get bilked for the deposit. The worst is unthinkable, given everything I've read about properties being left in a dangerous condition. But they seem to get away with it year after year - thanks to desperation in an impossible market, I guess - so I suppose there's no recourse.

Oh no, that is such a worry @ZittiEBuoni . I suppose if you accept the deposit is a write-off now, that's one thing. I thought this looked quite useful (although I'm not sure if it's purely for uni halls of residence, a lot of it is applicable to private rents as well: https://nexaproperties.com/navigating-student-housing-regulations-in-the-uk/)

I would:

• request sight of the gas safety certificate
• buy her several carbon monoxide detectors and smoke alarms
• have a poke about when she moves in and see if the windows lock (or, in the case of a flat my niece rented not too many years ago, open - they were nailed shut). See what the main door lock is like, is it worth putting a door chain on, or even replacing the lock (and change it back when they leave)
• test the appliances.

and hope for the best I guess 😬Surely most people manage to get through the year without too many major issues, but it's such a dreadful captive market, isn't it?

Thank you so much @tribpot , that looks like a useful website and it does make mention of private rentals so I'll have a good read of that. Yes, I've made a plan of what to check/test, plus I'll be video-clipping everything in her room and communal areas with date stamps in case of any attempts to claim damage etc. This agency has a very large share of the student market, so I'm hoping only the disgruntled leave reviews and the majority of reasonably content people don't...we shall see...

@ZittiEBuoni it makes me so angry! I bet it's not cheap either.

Is dd worried? Just wondered whether she knew the outgoing tenants at all. Given so many rent (I do) we really should be better represented.

I think you're right if they are a big agent then it could easily be disgruntled tenants. And hopefully it won't be too bad.

@tribpot's list is excellent. Dd may as well give it a go.

My ds is flat hunting in London. He enquired about a reasonable place in Stratford. The agent said the owner was looking for a family and that's why the rent was on the low side. So they are charging students more. I mean that could legit be for all sorts of reasons. But it does seem a bit off.

@tribpot @ZittiEBuoni Mine is in Bristol too and it has been a bit of a nightmare with people pulling out at the last moment and finding new housemates. The landlord appears to be more active now that it is time to pay up. I am not home at the moment so DD has been sorting things out and franticly texting/ calling me. Thank you for the link which I have sent her and hopes she reads. I very also told her video everything and check for certificates.
All very useful information. Enjoy the rest of the holidays!