Annnddd they're off! Uni Starters 2023 Thread.

[Titsywoo]

Hi all,

I thought I'd start a different thread as the Alevels and beyond one is more geared to remarks and clearing at this point so didn't want to start derailing that with chat off packing and freshers week.

How is everyone getting on with helping their DC prepare and the idea that soon they will be moving away?

My DD is off to Cardiff to read psychology so will be about 3.5 hours drive away. I'm both nervous and excited for her right now! Packing is going well - pretty much all stuff has been bought and the induction pan set should arrive today. There is a large pile on the landing which keeps growing as we think of extra bits.

Due to a very lucky spot by me when scrolling Tiktok DD has found and been added to the Cardiff Psychology year 1 snapchat group. From that she got chatting to some others who aren't massively into drinking or clubbing and they have another chat for people who want to do other things than clubbing. They are organising meeting for some of the SU 'Give it a go' events such as an escape room and Ikea trip! Dd has also persuaded a couple of people to join the Hookers society with her (for crocheting! 😄).

Dd had a terrible time with bullying and social isolation from year 5 till the end of sixth form so I am praying this is the new start where she finally finds her tribe 🤞🙏

Looking forward to hearing how everyone's DC is getting on and how the first few weeks are for them. Not long to go now! DD leaves in 20 days 😬

I just dropped DS off at Exeter 10 days ago (and had lunch with him last Friday) before DH and returned home to the US. I would love to join this group, as I feel very different to other college moms here in Virginia who are setting off for Family Weekend, etc ...

I have been on Mumsnet for close to 20 years, periodically checking in, but never expected to be back because my DS would be going to Uni in the UK. We have lived here for 14 years. I expected him to go somewhere on the East coast, so this has been a bit of a roller coaster.

He seems to be settling in quite well - had a pretty busy freshers week and is making friends. And I am doing better than I expected because I am so proud of how he is coping.

Welcome Spamm! I can only imagine how emotional it is with him being in the UK and you in the US. I too joined MN shortly before I conceived DS1 and we dropped him off at Southampton Uni last weekend. Still blows my mind! We're in S London so he's not even that far away and his younger brother still keeps saying it's so weird seeing him on snapmap (or whatever that Snapchat tracking thing is called) so far away from us sob! It's such a small world now and they're so connected with messaging and satellites compared to our day and I'm sure he's having a great time!

Thanks @Alstolemylunch. Yes - it is pretty surreal to see DS ( our only one) on my Findmy map. I am trying to wean myself off checking every 3 mins. I am so proud of him, but also dreading not hugging him for 3 months. I am trying to see if I can schedule a work trip to the UK in November so I can visit him for a day or two.

So far, so good. We are at least chatting/messaging every day for a few mins. He has been a bit poorly but seems to be coping well. I was surprised he wanted to move so far (my iPhone reminds me it is 3,558 miles every day) especially since he hated going away to Boy Scouts summer camp and got so homesick.

I have had to hide my feelings a bit, because he suddenly got so nervous as we were packing all his stuff upon the last 2-3 days at home. I really felt I need to be so positive, but actually I think it has really helped me and I have been less upset than I expected. I am sure it will hit me at some point, but I am so proud of him. He was diagnosed with autism around 10-11 and it has been hard work. But he has completely blossomed over the last couple of years and I am in total awe of how brave and amazing he is. I grew up in Switzerland, where you did not really leave home to go to Uni, so I lived at home until I was 24. His willingness to go on this adventure is so exciting!

Packing up today ready to take ds tomorrow. It feels like everyone else has been gone for ages! I’m really not sure how everything is going to fit in the car, particularly since younger DD has now said she’s coming.

Wishing the absolute best to you and your ds, @spamm . I'm always interested to hear tales of autistic dc at university - dd1 is on the spectrum and it seems unimaginable that she will ever be able to live away from home, her anxiety and other co-morbidities are quite extreme.

Friend's dd went to Exeter and did extremely well there, despite being in one of the covid cohorts.

Dd was celebrating yesterday because somebody must have dropped out of German and she got the place! No more unwanted Geography lectures.

Another one moving tomorrow - still lots to pack today. Seems like we are one of the last to move.

I presume it is the result of the two semester system because when I went to uni (just before it was introduced) pretty much all universities started at the very end of September.

I think many are on 2 semester years now. DD is, she went last weekend and this week has been Fresher's. Lessons start on Monday.
What surprises me is that the first week of Nov is already reading week!

Mine goes tomorrow. She is feeling quite anxious. I just need her to find some decent friends early on or she will panic.

Looks like freshers flu has struck already. Sore throat, raspy voice and headache. She said most people in lectures etc are ill too. She has a box of medicine and is signing up to gp today. Hopefully it doesn't hit them all too hard 🤞

I could sit and cry today. Miss DS so much, as does his sister, who is 14. But I am so proud, he is really having a ball so I'm really trying to pretend to both of them I am OK. Is it OK to not be OK? 😢

@AM130674 - of course you can feel sad, despite being happy for him and so proud. It is such a big step. So many people say that our job is to set them up to fly. But our job for so long has been to care and protect and hold them close. So the big empty gap is so hard to live with. Big unmumsnetty hugs. Keep posting - we are all living through a big jumble of emotions.

Do I have the first confirmed Covid case? DS seemed to be a bit on the up on Wednesday - this week's field trip wasn't a complete disaster, he got a few bits done on Wednesday morning and then bam. Started feeling feverish and exhausted and this completely knocked him for a loop. Even before the positive test he was talking about how if he came home he wouldn't want to go back. I drove over yesterday morning and by then he was talking about packing up everything because he was quitting university. In fact when I got there he started perking up immediately and before we'd even started the journey home he was talking in much more positive terms.

I'm really glad I didn't wait to go and get him (despite the 7hr round trip ending at 1pm yesterday), I think he really would have convinced himself to leave uni if he'd had to stay and be ill on his own.

Now aiming to return on Monday afternoon if I can avoid getting Covid in the meantime. He's looked at his timetable and realised he can come home every other weekend. I hope that over time he won't want to, but this is making these first months feel easier to handle.

DS and DH went and bought the additional kitchen items he realised he needed. And then showed me item by item very proudly 😃 He has never shown any interest in cooking before (and tbh I have limited interest) so is rather nice seeing him being interested

I have had contact!
She needs an airer. Apparently the tumble driers don't completely dry the clothes.
Obviously when I told her to make sure she used the washing machines early on, as it's easier to ask for help when you're not worried that someone might wonder why you haven't done any washing yet, she took it in. I'm not even sure what she was washing after only half a week, but I'm relieved she's doing things like that!

Oh no, what bad luck (and timing) for your DS, @tribpot . I bet many more have in than let on. Hope he feels better quickly.

Still ID-less DD is bored in her room. I hope the replacement won't be much longer...

Not for us. Lancaster which is still three ten week terms (but finishes in July, later than a lot of places)

We had prior warning of the need for an airer and picked up one at ASDA which expands so is pretty compact when put away, although ds said the tumble drier didn’t work last time and the drier is now taking up pretty much all the floor space in his room.

From friends and relatives experiences, it seems they can hit a bit of a low after 3 to 4 weeks. The initial excitement wears off. Friendships haven’t really been consolidated. It still feels a long way until Christmas. Coursework is beginning to hit and they miss the comforts of home.

DD did her first food shop today. Hates food shop but was very happy that a friend from course invited her out for a meal tonight. So now busy getting ready to go. She has had a good week but was still thinking of coming home this weekend, but I have encouraged a meet up next weekend at a literature festival. Not much flu going around her friends but I think they are exhausted from all the meet ups.
Hope your DS feels better soon @tribpot and you avoid COVID too.

When I was at uni We had 6 week blues.

When you were fed up of the routine of term, and end wasn't really in sight yet.

Hoping to pay DS a weekend visit around 6-week mark for DH birthday. Can't believe it's been a whole week since my last hug 😔

Sent him Nosh book which he was thrilled with and he trialed for badminton group yesterday. Not sure how he got on yet.

He really needs to start looking for work and I'm trying to guide him. His jobs he had whilst living at sort of landed on his lap.

DD seems much happier this week (week 2) now lectures have started, she even spent several hours sitting in one of chill put spaces on campus writing which is great (happy she's out and not in her room so much) and last night they had a cards night in the shared kitchen.
We'll be popping by to take her out for lunch over the weekend as it's her birthday. So pleased she chose a Uni close by.

Hope your son recovers soon @tribpot. My dd was ill on her first week, flu or Covid, who knows which. She spent most of it sleeping although she did manage to get into the kitchen to grab something to eat. She's much recovered now. I think half her Uni are ill currently. I guess it's to be expected. She's still loving it, having fun and being independent. She's made some nice friends in her class and likes her course so far. She's currently home for the weekend, she says practically everyone she knows has gone home. She's happy to see us but also missing her new home which is a positive sign for me!

DS says quite a few of his flatmates go home at the weekend so seems to spend most of the weekend by himself, as not great at finding other people to talk to. He doesn’t seem too bothered. Once train strikes are over I am hoping to go up one weekend