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Original poster

Annnddd they're off! Uni Starters 2023 Thread.

1000 replies

Titsywoo · 02/09/2023 10:55

Hi all,

I thought I'd start a different thread as the Alevels and beyond one is more geared to remarks and clearing at this point so didn't want to start derailing that with chat off packing and freshers week.

How is everyone getting on with helping their DC prepare and the idea that soon they will be moving away?

My DD is off to Cardiff to read psychology so will be about 3.5 hours drive away. I'm both nervous and excited for her right now! Packing is going well - pretty much all stuff has been bought and the induction pan set should arrive today. There is a large pile on the landing which keeps growing as we think of extra bits.

Due to a very lucky spot by me when scrolling Tiktok DD has found and been added to the Cardiff Psychology year 1 snapchat group. From that she got chatting to some others who aren't massively into drinking or clubbing and they have another chat for people who want to do other things than clubbing. They are organising meeting for some of the SU 'Give it a go' events such as an escape room and Ikea trip! Dd has also persuaded a couple of people to join the Hookers society with her (for crocheting! 😄).

Dd had a terrible time with bullying and social isolation from year 5 till the end of sixth form so I am praying this is the new start where she finally finds her tribe 🤞🙏

Looking forward to hearing how everyone's DC is getting on and how the first few weeks are for them. Not long to go now! DD leaves in 20 days 😬

OP posts:
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FriendlyLaundryMonster · 25/09/2023 16:15

@NotDonna Computer science

SlightlyJaded · 25/09/2023 16:23

@ZittiEBuoni I think you might be right. She still hasn't really fully let go of what was 'supposed' to happen and where she was ''meant' to be. And until she does that, she can't fully immerse herself in the here and now. There does seem to be a determination for not all to be shit.

I think she just needs a bit of time. And one person. Just one that she really clicks with.

MargaretThursday · 25/09/2023 17:31

@SlightlyJaded
It's really tough for them to adjust to a different place. I think they invest such a lot when they're choosing that it's hard to give it up. Hopefully once she starts lectures then she'll have to go out and hopefully meet others. One of the people I got on very well with at university, we bonded over finding a particular aspect really hard and we ended up doing quite a few things together.

I sent DD a message just asking if she'd slept well. She's read my message but hasn't responded. I expect that's a good thing.

IWillNoLie · 25/09/2023 19:07

Met ds at grandparents yesterday (FIL birthday) midway between uni and home. Lovely to see him for first time in two weeks. He seems to be taking it in his stride and appeared happy. No clubbing as only 17 and that also limits involvement in some societies which socialise in bars but. He knew that would be the case with starting this year so seems fairly sanguine about it but looking forward to his 18th birthday next year! He seems to have a nice set of flatmates though - and quieter than the next door flat who are ‘lively’ every evening until they head out clubbing.

iwishiwasonhol · 25/09/2023 19:38

A few tears from DD today as first day of lectures a few people on her course that she has made friends with werent at lectures as they hadnt looked at the timetable since they got it on wedensday so didnt realise that extra lectures had been added and had gone home thinking they started tomorrow ,she asked a few people if they wanted to go for lunch but they had other lectures on so i think she just felt at a loose end untill she went to work

MirandaWest · 25/09/2023 22:31

No reply from DS to my text asking how lectures went but his instagram story was him drying a bowl. With his girlfriend watching. Good to know he has presumably eaten something and washed up and is drying the bowl 😂

Yoloohno · 25/09/2023 22:48

MirandaWest · 25/09/2023 22:31

No reply from DS to my text asking how lectures went but his instagram story was him drying a bowl. With his girlfriend watching. Good to know he has presumably eaten something and washed up and is drying the bowl 😂

Mine has been sending me daily meal pictures. Although today was meatballs at ikea.

Bit of a wobble for me today. Had to put something in her room. I’ve not been in since she left and it seems too tidy, no clothes chucked around, the bed made, apart from a couple of bits that she hasn’t taken it’s empty and feels cold in there.

poorbuthappy · 26/09/2023 08:10

Was having a lovely with dd last night until it was cut short with the statement...I have to go now, it's ABBA night Grin

MirandaWest · 26/09/2023 08:16

DS replied to my text around midnight (I was asleep by then so only saw it this morning) said lectures were good and that he was in A&E waiting with one of his flatmates who uses a wheelchair and had an incident with curb and floor. Flatmate had been out with others from the flat; they all came back and DS volunteered to go along to A&E with him. I felt proud of DS when I read that this morning. Also hope flatmate is OK.

Unmute · 26/09/2023 09:38

I had a flying visit from ds this week. He came home for a school friend's birthday night out and spent a few hours with me the following morning before heading back to uni. We're only 1.5hrs away by bus, and travel is free, so hopefully I'll get a few of these visits.

I posted in freshers week that I was quite worried about him - it seemed like he wasn't getting out much and it was hard to gauge how he was feeling from a few calls and texts. After speaking to him face to face and seeing how happy he is, I really shouldn't have worried.

A couple of his flatmates are only 17, so they can't go out out, but they are having a great time together - lots of flat dinners, movie nights and friends round for drinks. They're also getting out to a few events, exploring the city, and ds has found someone to go climbing with.

It's definitely not what my first few weeks at uni looked like (100 years ago), but it suits ds.

MirandaWest · 26/09/2023 09:53

That all sounds great @Unmute :)

Unmute · 26/09/2023 10:46

Update from ds just now - he went to a bad film society screening last night (Troll 2 - not a sequel, not about trolls, a terrible masterpiece according to ds) and then to a pub quiz.

It sounds like he's settling in pretty well, so I can breathe a sigh of relief and start worrying about something else!

Tabbytabs · 26/09/2023 12:48

Dd just been to freshers fair and got free Dominos for lunch! She’s bought a Too Good Too Go bag to collect in a bit from the veggie cafe at the union. She should get 2 dinners and a lunch from it, so that’s a win all
round.

All of her flat mates have groups of friends from school and are never in, so she’s just bumbling around on her own. I think she’s feeling a bit lonely. She very good at putting herself out there though. She’s going to join some clubs tomorrow. Quiz and live music. She’s going to an accommodation social later. She just wants someone to go down the pub with! Poor girl!

MargaretThursday · 26/09/2023 16:46

Friends from school is a mixed blessing. At this point it seems good, but they may find that they miss out later by sticking to who/what they know. It's a good time to spread your wings trying different things, which with people who have known you a long time is harder to do.

I would just like a little something from dd. I know she only went on Sunday but a "all good" or something would be lovely. I'm trying not to text her again today, but wish she would send me something!

MirandaWest · 26/09/2023 17:27

I felt like that about DS last week - in the end I did text him and he replied 😊 I told him I wouldn’t keep being an over protective mother for too long 😃

Allloveisbeautiful · 26/09/2023 17:37

I agree with the friends from school possibly being more of a hindrance than a help. There are 3 lads from DS’s school at his uni and he has no interest in hanging around with them 😂not that he doesn’t like them but he sees this as a new start so new friends etc….

Tabbytabs · 26/09/2023 18:09

I know dd is feeling lonely because she has been messaging me all day! Not that I’m complaining, she does normally message me a lot when she’s not at home, but not this much. She got a load of drinks vouchers from the freshers fair earlier and she wants to keep them for when I go and see her! Love that girl! I suggested she wear a band tshirt to the social thing this evening, it’s a conversation starter and she’s more likely to find/attract like minded people.

ZittiEBuoni · 26/09/2023 18:43

Dd has a friend from school living in the Hall of Res opposite hers - I had severe misgivings about this at first because said friend had been quite intense and a bit possessive when they were at school. So far, though, they have been to each other's flats once and that's that - so I'm cautiously optimistic.

Had blow-by-blow WhatsApp commentary of dd's first visit to the launderette. It was all going so well - then she realised she hadn't got any detergent...

Susiesue61 · 26/09/2023 20:11

DS’s best friend from school is at the same uni. It’s been good so far, they’ve mixed together with a big group of others, which is what they did at school. He’s liked having to go shopping with and they went to freshers fair together. They’re deliberately not in the same halls

Lowther · 26/09/2023 20:52

DD came home Sunday and went back early this morning for her first lecture. I think, hope, that she will be ok. The girls who were out with her Saturday night have kept in contact and she hopes to meet up for chat and coffee soon. Had lectures all day, got a takeaway and now asleep. Said she will chat with me later but enjoyed her first day. No more lectures for the rest of the week but going in to sign up for clubs/societies and meeting up with friends.

Tabbytabs · 26/09/2023 21:02

Dd met some people from other flats at the social and she’s going to another flat for pre drink after the bake off. She’s not going to the club night with them, it’s £20 and she’s a tight arse, but the pre drinks will be good. She’s going to an indie disco club night tomorrow on her own! She won’t let not knowing anyone stop her from having fun. Bloody nutter!

MirandaWest · 26/09/2023 21:24

Tabbytabs · 26/09/2023 21:02

Dd met some people from other flats at the social and she’s going to another flat for pre drink after the bake off. She’s not going to the club night with them, it’s £20 and she’s a tight arse, but the pre drinks will be good. She’s going to an indie disco club night tomorrow on her own! She won’t let not knowing anyone stop her from having fun. Bloody nutter!

I think that’s great that she’s going to something she wants to go to - hope she enjoys it 😊

MirandaWest · 26/09/2023 21:24

DS will be back on Thursday for some amount of time as he’s playing in a gig 😊

Loomy · 26/09/2023 22:10

Spoke to DS earlier on videocall. I just burst in to tears after. Feel worse after see him. Miss him so much. He was going to come home for read week next month but has decided to stay there. Looks like I won’t see him until Xmas now. I’m so pleased he’s having a great time and isn’t homesick but also gutted he doesn’t want to pop back for the odd weekend or anything. It’s early days I know, maybe he’ll change his mind but knowing DS it’s unlikely and phone calls/messages will be few and far between.

northender · 27/09/2023 07:12

DD has been away 2 and a half weeks now & is doing ok. She has had a variety of health issues through A levels, one of the main problems being fatigue. She is doing ok away, desperately trying to balance sleep, socialising, study & sport. Had first proper fatigue episode on Monday but seems to have managed it well. Its so strange her being away & not being as involved in supporting her but she checks in regularly with video calls!!
She's very proud of having stuck to her budget so far & eating well. One of her big budget wins was buying a big bottle of vodka!! She's been rationing it.
She's doing 2 languages (1 post A level, 1 from scratch) & business so has a pretty full timetable & lots of work for the language from scratch. There is a girl from college doing similar so although they weren't friends particularly at college they are teaming up for study now.

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