Annnddd they're off! Uni Starters 2023 Thread.

[Titsywoo]

Hi all,

I thought I'd start a different thread as the Alevels and beyond one is more geared to remarks and clearing at this point so didn't want to start derailing that with chat off packing and freshers week.

How is everyone getting on with helping their DC prepare and the idea that soon they will be moving away?

My DD is off to Cardiff to read psychology so will be about 3.5 hours drive away. I'm both nervous and excited for her right now! Packing is going well - pretty much all stuff has been bought and the induction pan set should arrive today. There is a large pile on the landing which keeps growing as we think of extra bits.

Due to a very lucky spot by me when scrolling Tiktok DD has found and been added to the Cardiff Psychology year 1 snapchat group. From that she got chatting to some others who aren't massively into drinking or clubbing and they have another chat for people who want to do other things than clubbing. They are organising meeting for some of the SU 'Give it a go' events such as an escape room and Ikea trip! Dd has also persuaded a couple of people to join the Hookers society with her (for crocheting! 😄).

Dd had a terrible time with bullying and social isolation from year 5 till the end of sixth form so I am praying this is the new start where she finally finds her tribe 🤞🙏

Looking forward to hearing how everyone's DC is getting on and how the first few weeks are for them. Not long to go now! DD leaves in 20 days 😬

@Lowther hope your DD is feeling okay once she's had some sleep. Thank goodness her friends were quickly on hand.

@Lowther hope she and you are ok. It's so frightening to think of them coping with things like that.

Ds is still here. Doesn’t move in until Sunday. Then has freshers week for a week before a ten week term. It seems like some started ages ago.

Every time DD logs in to the uni app more and more lectures have been added ,we started off with non on a mon and only 1 on a tues/thurs ,she now has 3 on mon ,2 on tues and 5 on thurs as well as the 2 that have always been there for the wed /fri ,i know its only 14 hours and on some days she has 2 hours between lectures but its a 30 walk back to her accommodation so not worth doing , it would be nice to just have one free day during the week as she also has a part time job sat/sun , i have suggested she ask to drop a day but it took her months to get a job so she reluctant to do this ,hopefully as her course starts tomorrow there wont be any last minute extras added in

14 hours doesn't sound too bad, but sometimes, I agree, the timetabling can be annoying. Ds has roughly 33 hours a week, it varies a bit from week to week, up and down. Fortunately one of these, which is timetabled to end at 9:30pm is pre-recorded and can be watched whenever.

The full day without a slot for lunch is going to be a bit annoying. Ds will need to be really well organised, as he's wheat and dairy free (and vegetarian!), so can't easily pick things up. Sigh.

DD just had pre's at another flat in her building and has just left to go to the club. She has never been clubbing in her life so I'm quite apprehensive as she gets overwhelmed easily (most like autistic like her brother and Dad but we never had her tested). As long as she can get home safe it should be ok - she is with several from her accommodation so they can walk back together she just needs to last as long as them! It is weird to be going to bed not knowing that she is alright. I know most parents have been experiencing this for years but since she has had basically no friends for years she has not had these experiences yet.

DS starts lectures tomorrow. He said he thinks he has three lectures probably in some big lecture room. Am hoping he wakes up at the right time.

DH and I tidied his room a bit earlier on partly because lots of things had been put in it that were in the spare room, which DD (year 13) has commandeered as a study. As this means she now is less likely to be found glowering in a corner in the living room I am all for it!

@Titsywoo up till this week mine had never been clubbing. Tonight is her 4th time this week.

I have normally a home body but her from home friend has said mine iS a different person.

Well same here apparently as she just messaged me from the bar saying she is having a good time and just having some shots 🫨

Honestly shocked but pleased she is having fun and meeting people!

@Titsywoo @Yoloohno My ds was the same. Never been clubbing, and he's been out every night last week!

Am looking forward to finding out how his first proper lectures go today.

We made drop off yesterday, as well as being ill DD has never been clubbing. She sent a text at 2.30 am to say she's loving it so far (from a club ....) .

ha! Glad theyre getting out and about and having fun. I also know DS1 is alive on day 1 as I got a blurry selfie of him in a club at 2am 🤣. I actually consider that a form of communication and am quite touched 🥲.

I’m loving hearing about all the shy introverts getting out there and making friends!

Dd is feeling better today, so she’s off to the freshers fair. She has promised to show me all the freebies when she gets back, then she’s going to investigate the charity and second hand shops.

My mood is very low again today, I'm not sure why. DS doing alright as far as I can tell but didn't really leave the flat all weekend.

@tribpot dd only left the flat to go to the bank on Saturday morning. She was feeling ill, but I think staying in for a few days is quite normal. They need to get used to their space and make it their own. Also teenagers are pretty bloody lazy 🤣

@Titsywoo , I had never been out clubbing, or even to the pub, before Freshers and oh boy did I ever make up for it . Hope your dd had a fab night out.

Dd's first lecture today at 11, and I've pestered her to pester her tutor about wanting to change her open unit from Geography to German (suspect she may have got subject codes mixed up when she applied...)

I'm a bit worried that DD hasn't joined anything and hasn't gone to a single organised Freshers event. She's been clubbing a couple of times and went to campus to collect her Student Card, but no fresher fairs/society events/MMU organised day things at all. She hasn't met a single person on her course or engaged with anything really. She's been there over a week....

She called me yesterday to complain about the cost of doing Laundry and sounded quite flat really. First day of meeting her course people today. I've no doubt she is going to say no one talked to her and it was shit. She seems to be in a really negative head space.

She isn't a social butterfly and I just hope that someone (anyone) will 'spot' her and make an effort to talk to her.

I wasn't a social butterfly but met people on my course slowly doing labs seeing them at lectures and other by living round them - I even changed halls first weeks as well.

I met loads of people in first few weeks I literally never saw again in next 3 years.

DD1 can be very shy at times - so I'm pleased she seems to be doing well - do think college and her volunteering as she couldn't find work this summer all helped her. Summer between A-level we were really worried about her could barley get her to leave the house - her social group from school had moved on and her college friends weren't as sociable and some of them were moving on changing courses.

Grrrr I'm annoyed.
Got the bill through for dds accommodation today. I stupidly assumed that it would be 3 similar payments as we are paying termly. It's not, which would be fine if the maintenance loan payments correlated but no 3 equal payments.
So shortfall this term is £1,100, next term is
£900 and last term is £400.
Just a big bill I could have done without. Also needs paying by Monday.

Mine goes on Sat. Has a timetable 9-5 every day other than a half day on Weds it seems. And lectures every Saturday too. Ugh.

We had the same! We have had to pay the first term, and then the first maintenance loan instalment will have to go towards term 2. At least that way we are always pretty much ahead, but our savings pot has taken a tumble.

I'm new on this thread if I can join please? We moved my DS down to Brighton on Saturday and I feel so anxious, is that normal? I have never had more than a few days away from my DC. He seems OK though and been out clubbing for the last two nights, going out when I am just heading to bed. God I feel old!

dd has had three weeks at Uni now. She's autistic and has had awful mental health since she was 12, which resulted in her losing most of her friends along the way and lots of school refusals.

She's made lovely new friends at Uni, mostly with international students who she said are friendlier than home students.

Complete contrast to my eldest who always complained about internationals being closed off and speaking only to other international students.

She's been clubbing for the first time and is going to join some societies and the mental health support has been fabulous.
I was so worried that she'd hate living away at Uni, but it feels like she's going to make
up for some of the lost years when she was depressed and anxious and not really going out or enjoying herself. It makes my heart sing, it really does!

@SlightlyJaded , do you think in her head she still hasn't got over the shock of results day and is unconsciously self-sabotaging because it's the 'wrong' uni? I wouldn't be surprised if the last month has taken a bit of a toll on her and she's struggling to come back to herself. Hope she is able to shake it off and move forward if so. Does she have hobbies and interests? Clubs still welcome people after freshers week, she might find some like minds that way.

@FriendlyLaundryMonster that does sound like a full on timetable, what course is he doing?