Annnddd they're off! Uni Starters 2023 Thread.

[Titsywoo]

Hi all,

I thought I'd start a different thread as the Alevels and beyond one is more geared to remarks and clearing at this point so didn't want to start derailing that with chat off packing and freshers week.

How is everyone getting on with helping their DC prepare and the idea that soon they will be moving away?

My DD is off to Cardiff to read psychology so will be about 3.5 hours drive away. I'm both nervous and excited for her right now! Packing is going well - pretty much all stuff has been bought and the induction pan set should arrive today. There is a large pile on the landing which keeps growing as we think of extra bits.

Due to a very lucky spot by me when scrolling Tiktok DD has found and been added to the Cardiff Psychology year 1 snapchat group. From that she got chatting to some others who aren't massively into drinking or clubbing and they have another chat for people who want to do other things than clubbing. They are organising meeting for some of the SU 'Give it a go' events such as an escape room and Ikea trip! Dd has also persuaded a couple of people to join the Hookers society with her (for crocheting! 😄).

Dd had a terrible time with bullying and social isolation from year 5 till the end of sixth form so I am praying this is the new start where she finally finds her tribe 🤞🙏

Looking forward to hearing how everyone's DC is getting on and how the first few weeks are for them. Not long to go now! DD leaves in 20 days 😬

@Lowther Oh, that sounds great, seems like she's really settling in well so far. DD has yet to discover the library .

Noisy idiots are annoying but hopefully we won't get any real horror stories like somebody on last year's uni starters thread whose dd was in a flat full of drug fiends. I think she ended up leaving and getting a place elsewhere.

My daughter went on friday ,so far shes been fine made some friends with some girls in her flat ,the other girl is not her type into drugs clubbing etc has already been bringing people back and being loud,where as shes not really a party person but shes been out everynight so far ,hence why i think she started crying on facetime today as i think shes just knackerd and overwhelmed one of the boys who arrived late never comes out his room and the other boy seems to spend time more time out with others and just comes back to sleep , ive suggested they stay in tonight and invite some people over so that this other girl realises that she dosent have full run off the flat

Wouldn’t be Newcastle would it by any chance? Our school feeds about 20 kids there every year (generally the rugby jocks), it’s bonkers.

Everything going great so far for my DS. He likes all his flatmates and has been socialising with them and some other people he knows from school. The course started properly yesterday and it's been good so far. He's doing a high contact hours subject so they are thrown together all day.

No, not Newcastle, Bath.
Jocks though- yep.
It does seem nuts. I mean, fair enough, the wanting to go somewhere because of its reputation in sports stuff, but what struck DD was that there was no mixing at all.

They invited the 2 guys to the various things they did as a "house" but it was always just "no thanks". Which is also fair enough but ..

So so lovely to hear so many DC settling in well. Hopefully @tribpot the rest of the flat can put the douchebag in his place. A bit odd requesting a quiet flat than behaving like that! I do love the other posters idea of early morning singing!!

@Seaweasel so good to know that the pastoral team were helpful! Hoping your boy feels a little more settled and that he can reach out if needed! It is such a weird thing to do isn’t it? A new city where you know no one, new room, surrounded by everything new. He’s doing well just being there and taking each day as it comes!

Hows your boy @dotty2?

Mine’s a DD. I have been on site with a client all day so told her she had to call her dad not me. He’s had one ‘I want to come home’ message but when he offered a chat she said she was busy. So maybe a little better?? Thank you for asking! Thinking of others who are others struggling.

Apologies @dotty2 no idea why I said boy! So pleased she’s ‘busy’ - it’s a huge change and I really don’t think we should expect them to find it easy / plain sailing.

So weird reading all of your updates of kids already at uni. Still 3 days to go here and DD is still packing (slowly). She has been chatting to several of her new classmates and some are also staying in her accommodation. She already has plans for Saturday (escape room) and a few bits next week along with her induction sessions and freshers fairs. She needs to look for a job too so hopefully she will have a busy enough week to stop her feeling too homesick but we shall see.

DS settling in well at Exeter. Woke up on Monday to a message, he'd sent at 4.30 am, saying "I think I'm going to like it here". Went to rugby trials on Monday and said they were much harder than club rugby training he'd been doing this August/September.

Like others, we didn't realise how much his absence was going to affect us - it hit me like a brick when we got home, and the house was empty. Plenty of random tears yesterday and this morning.

And then he phoned at lunchtime and said he'd got timetable and has a reading week at end of October so would it be OK to come home. Flights booked, so only 5 weeks before we see him again. DH and I are in much better form tonight

DS2 seems ok. DD said he met a couple from his flat and was disappointed they weren’t going out tonight, but has messaged to say he’s in the pub watching football with a school mate and some others! He’s turned down a rave apparently 😂 So as long as he’s not on his own, all good I think

@tribpot 😅😅😅 pretty much sums up my morning in the uni laundrette with DS yesterday morning on live chat several times to Circuit!!

God it's absolute bullshit isn't it @One2threego - hope you got there in the end. I am so, so glad I was there to troubleshoot this in person.

Dd just messaged to say she and her boyfriend of one year have just broken up on the phone! Four days in to being away at uni. Feeling helpless that I can’t console her.

First load of washing underway just now. He took a drying rack with him (to halls, not the Landry room) so not sure if he will tumble or just dry in his room (not much room for the rack!). He has put his towel in (in a net) but I don’t think I tumble dried many of his clothes when he was at home as a lot said not to so it may not be worth tumbling unless for bedding and towels.

That is rotten. But it is also not uncommon. Four days is awful timing though. Could you get a ‘care package’ delivered for her?

That is a great idea. Gutted as they had a lovely year, never argued and had just come back from a trip to France together. But he had a less than good results day and is going to skip uni and I wonder if that changed the dynamic. Who knows? If anyone has any good suggestions of what would be helpful to her, care package wise and any words of wisdom, I’d be so grateful.

Dd is at a freshers event tonight. She apparently made it back for training yesterday but didn't drop by to say hello.

Despite feeling a bit sad about this, I'm actually pleased that she seems to have handled the transition well, isn't missing us, and- from the odd messages we've had- seems to be living her best life.

I'm super proud of her.

@Tindrum that’s rubbish! Crap timing when’s she’s probs not friendly enough with people to give her a hug! Love the ‘care package’ idea. What does she like? DD1 would like chocolate - and lots of it! Plus hot choc, marshmallows, squirty cream. Whereas DD2 would like the hot choc but with popcorn kernels to do her own popcorn, DD3 would probs still like the hot choc stuff but also pamper things. They’d all like a photo of the dog too! It’ll be lovely for her to receive a few bits! What’s your DD into?

My daughter is at Wrexham - 175 miles away from me. She had a few wobbles to start with but seems pretty happy today as lectures started properly. She’s with some lovely people in her flat who have been mothering her.

I’m finding it hard though!!

Yes I really do wish it had happened further into the term. She quite understandably isn’t replying to my texts so I’m leaving her be at the moment but boy I wish i could give her a hug. She loves art, music and makeup/products, I was thinking maybe some Glossier shower gel and body cream might be nice for a pamper maybe?

@Tindrum that's shit, your poor DD. I'm sure the dynamic of one at Uni and one not will have been part of it. But maybe better now than when she is about to sit an exam or knee deep in study? I mean it's awful timing, but possibly better than a dragged out scenario that impacts her studying for ages.

I sent DD off with a care package. It had:

Student Diary/Planner
Pretty Bullet Notebooks
Little Plant in a Buddha Head pot
Mini Bee Fairy Lights
Little Student Cookbook
Room fragrance stick things (same ones we have at home for familiarity)
Teapigs Peppermint Tea
Tony's Chocolate Bars
Chi Latte Tub
Mini string of photos of DDog DFamily DFriends DBoyfiend (you might want to swerve him)
Crispy Seaweed and Chili rice crackers
Cards Against Humanity game (for ice breaking!)
Pretty pastel highlighter Pens
And the thing she loved the most which was little squares of fabric in individual freezer bags. I sprayed each one with our signature fragrance and rubbed the last one on DDog for ages, then I labelled the bags. So she has a little bag of Mum Smell / Dad Smell / Brother Smell and DDog Smell.

Just some ideas that might work.

Oh and some face masks, moisturizer and face serum - pricier than she would buy herself usually.

She really loved all of it.

Well in 48 hours mine has had to ring maintenance twice in her flat, broken lock and light. Seems to managing the issues well thankfully.

Allegedly it’s a quiet night in tonight. Not sure if I believe her as somehow she has become a different person to what she was at home. It’s not a demographic issue as we live on the outskirts of a uni city.

But she’s always been set on moving there since we went a year ago, within an hour she’d decided that was where she wanted to live.

Ultimately, I’m happy if she’s happy but it’s tough.

Today is DDs 18th birthday and I feel suddenly really sad that DS isn’t here for it - I don’t think there’s ever been a birthday where they haven’t both been together (except for when there was only DS and as he was 22 months when she was born there was only one of those).

Need to pull myself together a bit and not be all maudlin. Am hoping he sends her a message….