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Original poster

Annnddd they're off! Uni Starters 2023 Thread.

1000 replies

Titsywoo · 02/09/2023 10:55

Hi all,

I thought I'd start a different thread as the Alevels and beyond one is more geared to remarks and clearing at this point so didn't want to start derailing that with chat off packing and freshers week.

How is everyone getting on with helping their DC prepare and the idea that soon they will be moving away?

My DD is off to Cardiff to read psychology so will be about 3.5 hours drive away. I'm both nervous and excited for her right now! Packing is going well - pretty much all stuff has been bought and the induction pan set should arrive today. There is a large pile on the landing which keeps growing as we think of extra bits.

Due to a very lucky spot by me when scrolling Tiktok DD has found and been added to the Cardiff Psychology year 1 snapchat group. From that she got chatting to some others who aren't massively into drinking or clubbing and they have another chat for people who want to do other things than clubbing. They are organising meeting for some of the SU 'Give it a go' events such as an escape room and Ikea trip! Dd has also persuaded a couple of people to join the Hookers society with her (for crocheting! 😄).

Dd had a terrible time with bullying and social isolation from year 5 till the end of sixth form so I am praying this is the new start where she finally finds her tribe 🤞🙏

Looking forward to hearing how everyone's DC is getting on and how the first few weeks are for them. Not long to go now! DD leaves in 20 days 😬

OP posts:
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DrMadelineMaxwell · 14/09/2023 23:29

I'm not terribly emotional about it all, but it is very weird. It won't be empty nest, as DD1 didn't intend to come home after uni, but her plans didn't pan out. So she's home and working and saving for when she can afford to move out.

DD2 also says she doesn't intend to come home either after uni but in my head she will be too! But I have moments when I have a mini wobble thinking that she might not. She's said there are plans for flatmates to stay and have Christmas together so isn't even sure if she's coming back at Christmas. I know I'll miss her and worry about her a bit, but she is totally ready and cannot wait for the whole experience.

DD1 decided it would be nice if we went out to a dessert place on DD2's last night that we don't already have plans for. Tomorrow is a few last minute bits, a family dinner and then packing the car.

user746016 · 14/09/2023 23:30

I’m really worrying now. DS has been so excited about going away and making new friends but has just been on my bed sobbing in my arms because he’s discovered that since going away with his school friends (group of seven) at the beginning of the holidays they’ve all excluded him all summer long. He had suggested meeting up on numerous occasions but nobody had seemed interested. It turns out they’ve been out multiple times including a big night out tonight. He’s so sad but also now really panicking that he’s going to struggle to make friends because he feels he must have been difficult to live with on holiday. It’s really knocked his confidence. I was full of encouraging supportive words but now sitting here crying myself. So sad for him.

IWillNoLie · 14/09/2023 23:45

user746016 that is awful behaviour by his so-called friends. Time for a new start and new friends.

IWillNoLie · 14/09/2023 23:48

Feeling envious of everyone who is waving off an 18 year old. I expected another year and to do the same but have found myself waving of a 17 year old.

user746016 · 14/09/2023 23:52

IWillNoLie · 14/09/2023 23:45

user746016 that is awful behaviour by his so-called friends. Time for a new start and new friends.

That’s broadly what I said to him but it’s completely knocked his confidence. Apparently it was caused because he said he wasn’t washing up a mountain of stuff that one of them had let pile up all week. He’s now saying perhaps he won’t be able to live with other people at uni. He’s really worried about it. I just feel so sad for him.

Whiskeyinthejaroh · 15/09/2023 06:19

This thread is making me feel less alone! I don't have any friends with DC going to uni and most of my friends either don't have children, or have young children so they can't relate.
We are packing the car tonight and driving DS to university tomorrow. We have already got bedding, towels, some essentials etc. But will do an IKEA shop once we've been to his halls to see what exactly he needs for kitchen and bathroom.
I keep feeling really emotional and strange. I'm so so proud of him and excited for him to go out into the world and do all the things, but I'm also sad because I'll miss him so much. That guardian article is on the nose!

43ontherocksporfavor · 15/09/2023 06:34

Anyone been emailed about lecturer strikes for first two weeks of term?

Tabbytabs · 15/09/2023 06:47

@Whiskeyinthejaroh I'm the same. I’m 41, so most of the people I know are 10-15 years behind me. Having children young was great, but it was (and still is) pretty isolating.

@user746016 the same thing happened to dd between school and college and she was devastated and it really threw her. It took about 2 weeks before she made some amazing friends who have been her rocks for the past 2 years. It may seem like his world is falling down now, but uni is a fresh start and full of weird and interesting and fun people. Everyone will fun someone who gets them (I hope)!

Tabbytabs · 15/09/2023 06:48

*find someone who gets them

stilldumdedumming · 15/09/2023 06:52

@user746016 your poor ds. This is the stuff that really gets you.

MirandaWest · 15/09/2023 07:41

We’re off in a few hours time. DS surprised me by saying last night we ought to pack (I suspected he’d want to wait until the morning!) but things are pretty much packed up. He’s recently had some medical issues diagnosed which has been a bit stressful but am hoping he’ll be OK now he has medication that will hopefully help.

He’s about 2 hours away so I’ll be back here later on - DH is off further away for his DS’s stag do so will just be 17 year old DD and me this weekend.

Off for a run now to calm me down a bit 😊

WednesdaysPlaits · 15/09/2023 07:47

Lots of kids seem to be going this weekend. Newcastle and Exeter I think? Also Manchester?

Era · 15/09/2023 07:47

And Reading

Loomy · 15/09/2023 07:58

Woke up this morning feeling really sad. Usually need to wake DS up and chivvy him out of bed, thought I wouldnt miss that but I do so much. I’m a single parent and have been for 18 years, I feel so alone right now.

Neversaygoodbye · 15/09/2023 08:36

Surrey also this weekend. Just popped the back seats down ready to begin loading the car and clear some space to finish packing clothes and other bits.

watcherintherye · 15/09/2023 08:37

Bristol too….

MermaidEyes · 15/09/2023 08:49

IWillNoLie · 14/09/2023 23:45

user746016 that is awful behaviour by his so-called friends. Time for a new start and new friends.

Agree with this. Those aren't the kind of friends he needs.

MermaidEyes · 15/09/2023 08:56

York this weekend for us. DD is feeling incredibly anxious. I think she just wants to get the first week or two out the way to feel more settled. She's said she's going to stick it out for at least 2/3 weeks before a visit home. We've said just message or FaceTime any time. I think she'll be fine once she finds her feet. I'm so proud of her but also feeling quite emotional. I recently lost my mum and now I feel like I'm losing her too, which I know is daft. I'm looking on the positive side of things as best I can.

catrescuelady · 15/09/2023 08:58

MermaidEyes · 15/09/2023 08:56

York this weekend for us. DD is feeling incredibly anxious. I think she just wants to get the first week or two out the way to feel more settled. She's said she's going to stick it out for at least 2/3 weeks before a visit home. We've said just message or FaceTime any time. I think she'll be fine once she finds her feet. I'm so proud of her but also feeling quite emotional. I recently lost my mum and now I feel like I'm losing her too, which I know is daft. I'm looking on the positive side of things as best I can.

DS is off to York this weekend too. He can't wait while I am dreading it. Haha.

MermaidEyes · 15/09/2023 08:58

Loomy · 15/09/2023 07:58

Woke up this morning feeling really sad. Usually need to wake DS up and chivvy him out of bed, thought I wouldnt miss that but I do so much. I’m a single parent and have been for 18 years, I feel so alone right now.

Sending hugs. I'm sure you're an amazing mum. You've given him the tools to feel confident enough to go out in the world on his own. Time for your life now! And don't forget, holidays will be here before you know it.

MermaidEyes · 15/09/2023 08:59

That's good @catrescuelady , better than the other way round!

IWillNoLie · 15/09/2023 09:04

user746016 · 14/09/2023 23:52

That’s broadly what I said to him but it’s completely knocked his confidence. Apparently it was caused because he said he wasn’t washing up a mountain of stuff that one of them had let pile up all week. He’s now saying perhaps he won’t be able to live with other people at uni. He’s really worried about it. I just feel so sad for him.

Show quote history

He shouldn’t try to win friends by doing other people’s washing up. If they require him to do their washing up before they are friends then they are not friends at all.

tribpot · 15/09/2023 09:21

@43ontherocksporfavor there's a separate thread here in Higher Education on the strikes, not heard anything from the uni. I really hope week 1 of teaching isn't a wash-out, it's so unfair.

We're packed and really just killing time before we go. DS very nervous.

troppibambini6 · 15/09/2023 09:30

@user746016 that's really shit I'm so sorry your ds is having to go through that right before he goes. Dd had something very similar on results day and it really got to her. She is feeling a lot better now though. Sometimes a break from a toxic friend group is exactly what they need.

MirandaWest · 15/09/2023 09:46

Hope all goes well for those coming to York (I will be prepared for the Aldi on Fulford Road to be full of students, with and without parents!)

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