Exeter uni reassurance please!

[seymour]

Hi there, my daughter just got into Exeter uni through clearing but while she liked it when she visited ahead of the application process, she didn’t plump for it as her first choice as she felt it was quite “posh” and wasn’t sure if she would fit in. We are from a big city and she went to a comprehensive. Not trying to cause offence to anyone from a privileged background btw, we very much take every person as we find them, as does my daughter but just wondered if anyone could share their kids’ experiences? Thanks so much.

@seymour All secondary schools were required by law to have outside sports space - it used to be a requirement before free schools were invented. That’s a shame there was no outside sport.

It’s very easy for students to home in on other students who are clearly “not like them”. They notice them because they are a minority. This isn’t necessarily because they are being discriminatory but probably because their eyes are being opened. So how someone speaks, what they wear, their hobbies and general chat might be different but I don’t like the idea that students actively dislike other students from day 1. I might draw a line at the drug taking or drunk ones after week 2 but no standard student is not worth knowing.

I think my DD’s fear is that there is a large “popular” overtly confident in crowd that she would be excluded from because she doesn’t fit. We all know unis are huge places with loads of different types of people, societies etc. I think though that there can be an over-riding vibe to a place that large groups of over confident loud people create.

So it’s not about not being able to meet one or two like minded individuals, or broaden your horizons and be friends with completely different individuals - it’s about being surrounded by groups of people that you don’t fit with, and feeling excluded.

DD FWIW also completely ruled out another Uni after being told by a head of dept that nearly all the students were from the south of the country and there were no international students. In her words “what’s the point of going to uni if I’m not going to meet anyone different?” So it’s not about that.

Honestly! How big do you really think that “crowd” is? That’s a totally overblown figure. Just look at the stats! These people who might have a similar upbringing are a minority. The crowds are the state educated. Some of whom will happily exclude the 7% as discussed above (private education all the way through!) . I think parents need to explain stats and there are definitely more than one or two like minded students everywhere. It’s such a narrow viewpoint.

Plus what uni has no international students? There are clearly unis with a regional bias, I agree. Especially in Scotland. But parents need to debunk the myth that a student won’t find friends. Interesting that overseas students are ok and southern students are not? Where does this come from? It’s just a load of immature excuses in my view to stay in a bubble. Many overseas students form their own societies too. However London unis have huge diversity so no need to look beyond London for international students. Are they too southern though?

Not sure you have understood correctly. It’s not a case of some students being OK and others not. She certainly wasn’t ok with the uni dept not having any UK students not from the south OR international students. It was UEA.

She’s not a fool. It’s not about me debunking any myths. It’s not about not making a couple of individual friends. She doesn’t want to go to a uni she doesn’t feel comfortable in. She knows well people that study at Exeter - she knows about the ski trips, the sports societies etc etc.

And the 7% is a red herring as we know Exeter’s private school intake is 30% +.

She certainly wasn’t ok with the uni dept not having any UK students not from the south OR international students. It was UEA.

Where was she getting her data from though? I've just had a quick look and 22% of UEA's undergrads come from London or the south east, 21% are non-UK domiciled. The majority are from the East of England unsurprisingly.

As stated, it was department specific and we are told it face to face by the department head.

UEA - only students from the south? That’s unlikely to be true is it? Yorkshire is not far away! I’m afraid she’s not open to any reasonable view. 30% isn’t 70% majority. Who on earth thinks only the privately educated ski? Or play sport? Surely you can see this is rubbish?

Why can’t people on this thread read posts properly?!

It was department specific. I understand a lot of the international students at UEA are postgrad. Not sure which depts.

And you have completely misinterpreted what I posted about people she knows at Exeter. Can’t say much more here without outing sadly.

This threaad is sad. My son went to a private school and is going to Uni in September. He is priveledged, sure, becasue I went to uni (where I was destitute) and worked hard and have a well paid job, but he is not a snob and doesn't judge people, at all really, and especially not for their background. His Dad did not go to Uni and comes from a WC Northern town, grandfather was a miner etc. My son has many friends, from private schools, state schools, grammar schools, church schools and I see none of the nonsense described here. Many of his friends from his school are from under priveledged backgrounds due to the large bursary support scheme. His best friend from the private school they attended is going to the same uni and was on a 100% bursary. His mum had him very young and he was in care when younger. I find it depressing that these 2 pleasant, likeable young men, from very different backgrounds, would be put on the 'post nob, ignore' pile becasue of where their parents/the local authority chose to send them to school. Reverse snobbery is still snobbery, as others have said. Sad to be so close-minded at 18.

And the only time I experienced this was went I went to university in Scotland myself as a poor person and everyone avoided me - wasn't rich enough for the 'snobby' crowd and hated by most of the locals for being English!

What student only makes friends with or sees students from one department? It’s just not a sensible way to judge a uni. Plus how does a lecturer know the precise backgrounds of Dc in any given year which undoubtedly changes with each cohort? What is the “south” to them? It’s probably untrue and is not validated data.

I haven’t come across unfair judging of individuals solely based on private education. Groups OTOH that can be intimidating are a different matter.

Loving the posters on here who know better than a uni dept head where his/her students come from

It was an informal conversation where we were breezily told that nearly all the students in that department were from E Anglia, Herts, Surrey, Sussex, Kent & London. I think there was one outlier from around Nottingham. International students were “mainly postgrad in all depts”.

😂😂😂😂

18 year olds shouldn't be judging anyone ime, they should be going out into the world open-minded. There are nice people and knobs from all backgrounds and all walks of life and if you go to uni with the attitude that there are hordes of people here who I won't like because of their perceived background (which will often be wrong - not all privatley educated students are wealthy, at all, lots of grammar/church school kids are very wealthy) then that it what you are going to find I think. It will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sad.

Isn't that to do with Goegraphy? Lots of kids don't want to go very far from home for uni. Do you think there are no poor/abused/in care/under-priveledged children in the home counties? Nobody whose parents work in minimum wage jobs? You think all 18 year olds in London have wealth parents and went to private schools?

There are some subjects with relatively few international students in most unis. For example, geography is not often chosen by internationals (although geology and earth sciences is). It doesn’t tell you much about the uni though.

It’s a tad naïve (or disingenuous ) to believe that 18 yr olds aren’t judging each other. It’s the perceived judging of large overly confident groups that is off putting. Why put yourself through that if you can go to a better uni where it’s not rife? A few posters on here have commented on it from first hand experience so it’s clearly a thing.

Why? Do you really expect academic staff members to know the background of all students in their dept? I'd hope they'd be very familiar with the proportion of overseas as this is probably a target, also the proportion coming from disadvantaged backgrounds, but why would they be familiar with data on which counties they recruit from? It's not something that is measured by the regulator, or affects any sort of internal KPI so no one will be providing stats.

If OP wants to give me the subject I can tell her the actual data for that subject.

Absolutely, but this was a subject that is often chosen by international students.

I can PM you but would rather it not be published here thanks.

Happy to be PM'd and won't state the subject!

@AIstolemylunch
I do actually see this attitude in relatives that live in the North. They do see London and the South as 100% privileged and not like them. I find it truly ridiculous. They won’t consider unis south of Nottingham. It’s ignorance and actually doesn’t serve them well in the long run. They spend more time judging others than a Judge!

So now we have a department with only international students at post grad. Do lecturers really spout out this detail? Only if asked I suppose. What department at UEA has this profile? No doubt the pp won’t say but it sounds highly dubious to me. Plus all those Dc from Norfolk and the rest are not worth knowing? How utterly blinkered is that?

Have PMd you.