York, Durham, Exeter

[GodessOfThunder]

These universities seem feature in a disproportionate amount of discussion on Mumsnet as institutions commenters see as desirable for their DC to attend. Obviously they are well regarded universities, but why do they attract more discussion here than other Russell group universities, especially those in northern and midlands post-industrial cities such as Manchester, Sheffield, Leeds, Liverpool, Nottingham and Birmingham?

A few possible reasons were suggested by DH:

• They enjoy an undue level of perceived prestige due to being in smaller old cities/towns like Oxbridge
• The Mumsnet user base is skewed towards the SE and biased against post-industrial cities. Mumsnetters are less likely to be familiar with them and hold “grim up north” perceptions.
• There is a “showing off” factor in starting threads and commenting that DC has applied for, or attends, these institutions - the same goes for the “Oxbridge support” threads, the like of which you never see for red bricks.

Does anyone agree, or are there other explanatory factors?

Thing47 I agree. They have to pick their own path and find their own motivation, money or otherwise.

I'm conscious that we live in an area with wealthy people with nice lifestyles but there's also life beyond that. Realistically my kids are unlikely to be able to afford to live in the same type of house (given the rise in property prices) or necessarily send their kids to private school.

I hope they don't constantly strive for the unattainable and make themselves unhappy in the process.

Well, yes, agreed with all of that. We're Up North and that definitely colours my view of things.

Another northern inhabitant here, and I agree with @thing47 and @grass321 as well as @PhotoDad.

I left the London rat race in 1980 for Northern climes and have no wish to return.

But not everyone feels like that. Family might be around. Opportunities they want might be in the south. It’s a very mixed bag of reasons for wanting to be in a given place doing a certain job.

I know they don't but I wanted to add some balance as did the other posters I tagged. IMO there is too much London bias on this thread and on many other mumsnet threads.

Most graduates don’t earn the salaries posted about on Mn but still lead happy and successful lives. DD’s best friend had the grades to study medicine but wanted to be a nurse. She has no aspirations of moving back to London or progressing into senior management positions. She wants to nurse patients. When she has a family she plans on continuing nursing but part time.

Good points above. I am from Newcastle originally. I am certainly not a stranger to the North.

"They are certainly routes to getting paid at the higher end, but it’s all deeply conformist isn’t it? And rather materialistic." Look at MN threads today where women are very unhappy about food bills, heating bills, mortgages going up - I am not sure it is wrong that a parent may not want their child to go through that. That is why plenty of parents prefer their children earn more. I suppose if you are a true communist or a trappist monk of Catholic nun or something you might well eschew money. For the rest choose a career that pays a lot and you enjoy - works for me. Many women choose to serve men and children at home and earn pin money - in a sense that is the conformist choice rather than women who try to make the big bucks as an actuary, accountant, investment banker, quant, lawyer, management consultant etc etc

For the rest choose a career that pays a lot and you enjoy

It is entirely possible to have both of the above and not work in London nor have any of the London based careers that you have listed. It isn't a choice between being a fat cat lawyer or a trappist monk. There is a middle way.

Not everyone aspires to having their children privately educated either.

And that is not having low aspirations, but having different aspirations.

Absolutely. I am not London centric. Doctor father in Newcastle originally. Doctor sibling in Yorkshire. Plenty of people are doctors, lawyers etc and some of the other well paid careers ou t of London and of course as lawyers and accountants know only too well we are the poor ones in a sense - it is those clients who build up a massive business who make the real money in the UK. There was a Welsh lawyer with a conveyancing call centre in Wales which at one point was one of the most profitable small practices in the UK, ditto someone in Newcastle who bought part of one of my old schools to live in.

There are all kinds of middle ways as regards money and types of work and as I have said my son was a postman and now a food delivery driver and happily so. Nor I hope have I ever said it is a low aspiration to be a nun with vows of poverty nor all the other jobs in between.

However I stick with my point that if you want a certain standard of living then certain choices peopl emake as teenagers can matter (even if it is only to date very wealth men - women sometimes have 2 ways of making a lot of money - careers and marriage - not something where men usually have the same choice).

What about women who work 12 hour shifts as paramedics and nurses @xenia? You always seem to forget them. You always categorise people as high flyers or housewives. You need to open your eyes. One day you may need a highly skilled, hard-working but low paid woman and you may change your usual tune.

You can afford to be anything you want in a cheap housing area. Many with less well
paid jobs would go north, and do.

I don’t see that medical workers work more than others. Certainly others work exceptionally hard too. We also need high earners. They pay more tax! As do the companies they work for.

London is a big place. There’s millions of us in the SE. Far fewer in rural north Scotland. So inevitable views come from London snd SE if that’s where we live. Most of us can see regional differences in jobs, outlook and salaries though. If you are a nurse or teacher in the SE your money simply doesn’t go as far. You would be better off in a place with cheap housing. Obviously! But your friends and family might be in the south and you might love it there and be reluctant to leave support networks.

LaDeeDa123, I don't think anything I have posted whetehr about postmen, delivery drivers or anyone else means I have forgotten women who don't earn much. In fact it is because women can bust a gut for not much money whilst some men hog all the much nicer higher paid jobs that we need to ensure daughters are aware they have options of higher paid choices if they want to do so. Also even back in 1984 I was veyr much aware of lower earning women as we had to pay 50% of each of our net salaries for childcare in those days - your whole life, ability to work etc completely depends on that very hard working woman. Actually even this week nearly 40 years on in my head her birthday (our first daily nanny) is etched in my brain it was obviously so important in 1984 to make a lot of it because of her importance to our family.

Well I’m glad you value the importance of your nanny, who I am sure was hardworking and highly skilled. You wouldn’t have been able to do your job had she not done hers.

@LaDeeDa123 That applies to millions of working parents who need childcare! Some of us do not have handy cheap grandparents! We pay someone else.

👆100% what @TizerorFizz says.

Where did I say anything different @TizerorFizz? for goodness sake

@LaDeeDa123 Its the tone of the post. You implied the poster did not appreciate her nanny. All of us appreciate childcare.

Oh for goodness sake @TizerorFizz. Is that the best you can do?

? Why so aggressive?

What are you on about?

My post said I was well aware many women (and men ) work for lower wages and that even 40 years on I remembered the nanny's birthday this week - I was illustrating plenty of women do appreciate women who earn less than us and know a lot about them and their lives - sometimes enough to hope our children won't be in the same position and will make different choices; yet it is entirely for my children to choose. None of us are particularly materialistic in my family actually so it has never been about acquisition of things and if a child like one of my sons wants low paid work that's fine.

So in summary, the universities mentioned on the thread title are good ones. If some people from state schools think other goods ones are just as good or better that's fine too and some of those other are indeed good. So there are no issues. My only problem comes from some teenagers wrongly thinking certainly universities will get them where they want to be when that may not be the case.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/crackdown-on-rip-off-university-degrees

Interesting

Oh god, we went to visit Exeter and the campus is so lovely. I have to keep reminding myself that there are more important things about a university than how nice it looks.

For some reason MNers like to bash Exeter, but DS2 (just finished Year 2) said to me last week that deciding to go to Exeter Uni was "the best decision I've made in my life so far."
He is honestly the happiest I have ever seen him. He really struggled for a long time at school with friendships, dyslexia, 'fitting in' etc so I am so happy for him 😊