Countdown to A level results day - 2023

[HereWeGo2023]

Following on from the A level support thread I thought I would create one for results day.
Hopefully you will all join me for the long nail biting wait and the big day at the end of it!

Also sometimes it is only by screwing something up that we really learn - I don’t think a parents role is to remove problems but rather give them the tools to deal with problems when they occur. Obv some may feel differently to me but you having all her log ins etc is essentially telling her that you are thinking she will have problems.

They lose their phone for all kinds of reasons.

It happens. Adults do it too.

And as a responsible parent there is nothing you can reasonably do, aside from replace it.

well as a responsible parent you could encourage them to take responsibility for their possessions and pay towards their replacement. If it’s happening repeatedly just replacing it solves nothing. I’ve never lost a phone and neither have my children - phones are expensive items and should be taken care of.

Ermmmm....

I'm not aware you have parental responsibility for my child Kitty.

Until and unless you do (and that would be my DD's absolute worst nightmare by the sounds of it!) I would suggest you tone your judgements of other's parenting styles ALL THE WAY DOWN.

Kid's lose phones.

Be grateful this post was successfully accomplished without further judgements of your own, and indeed swear words!

Seriously Forest I have no idea what your problem is with me! I have not commented on your parenting in anyway- I have merely given my view which is what you did - I wasn’t aware that your view carried more weight than mine? I am not judging anyone’s parenting style - what I did was present a view which differed from yours.

Seriously your the one who is being arsey just like you were the other day when someone else said they didn’t want to wish time away.

I am judging no one - I am presenting my opinion - that’s kind of how forums work. But seriously you are being rude and unpleasant and it’s not called for.

Anyway I stand by my view that if someone repeatedly loses something (and that they don’t face additional challenges which could lead to this) - so your average ND teen then to replace it endlessly is not helping them to take responsibility for their possessions.

Anyway you do you - that’s just fine but MN is not an echo chamber to reinforce your views - and really there’s no need to be rude - take a deep breath.

Actually Kitty, I thought your post was totally and utterly beyond rude.

So there you go hon. My opinion stands.

Don't judge other people's parenting.

I have as much right to be here as you have!

Your last post was totally and utterly rude beyond measure!

I've reported your post. You don't get to label someone 'arsey' it is disgraceful.

OK so if I’ve caused your offence I apologise- but really saying someone is arsey is hardly offensive - you were shouting at me. I haven’t judged anyone’s parenting I have presented a view which is different from yours. You have judged my parenting by saying I would be your daughters worst nightmare.

of course you have the right to be here - I haven’t said anything which suggests that you aren’t.

What exactly was rude in my post? As I say if I have caused you offence then I am sorry but what exactly have I said which was rude (and using your logic would you consider that you are being rude to me).

The post which I replied to re losing phones and suggesting looking at causes rather then just replacing was not your post and was asking for peoples opinions / advice - I gave that in what I felt was a supportive and constructive manner and you have jumped in the deep end. You don’t like me - I get that and it’s fine - bus seriously what have I done to harm / offend you?

I've reported your post. You have no right to go around labelling someone 'arsey'. The mods can deal with it now.

This is the definition of arsey - I think it’s accurate - probably accurate if me now as I am somewhat shocked and a tad irritated by your extreme reaction! As I said earlier take a deep breath!

I'll take a deep breath, when, if and how I need to.

It was abusive.

And the mods can deal with it now. End of.

Hi folks

Please can we get the thread back on track now?

Can I ask @KittyMcKitty what is "your average ND teen"?

@felissamy Im sorry your question has got kinda detailed. I’m sure your dd will thrive at Uni - young people never cease to amaze me with their resilience and zest for trying new things. I hope she has an amazing time! Where is she looking to go?

Typo sorry I meant NT!

Fat fingers, tired brain and an inability to proof read as my mitigating circumstances - apologies.

To a uni in Scotland, if she hits her grades. 4 years will be good for her. Sure she'll sort it all out. I guess I just feel some of the DC who were hitting adolescence during COVID have had less chance to be independent. And many seem so home based, screen based. My DD doesn't go out with friends ever. And many of her friends don't either. At her age I had already been abroad several times and was out down the pub every night! Uni is going to be a different and, hopefully, amazing experience.

Ah you’re co fusing me with a different name or maybe my brain is just addled! I hope she has an amazing time - I’m sure she’ll flourish. Yes Covid was strange (I also have a dc 2 years older) and speaking to friends in graduate recruitment they don’t seem to have necessarily developed the same levels of resilience- I guess you see this as a lecturer too. I hope we, as a society, have learnt much about the negative impact of locking away teenagers in isolation. Hopefully Uni will enable them to grow these skills.

My sons waiting his alevel results probably taking a gap year although undecided and may go .

These are my reasons :
-Degrees are too expensive to waste money if if is not mature enough to cope with attending lectures , meeting deadlines etc
-He hasn't decided what actually wants to do . And degrees are soo expensive .
-Covid had a negative impact on him socially, but he is catching up now .
-He won't be sitting around at home however

What are people thoughts

Also I don't have the time or energy to check up.on him digitally or otherwise to make sure he is attending lectures .
He worked so hard and ridiculous hours on alevel study it was exhausting all round and not at all balanced .
He needs a level of maturity to get the best out of university, I'm trying to find a cheaper way to get him to become independent and wordly then go to uni
Thoughts anyone ?

My eldest (2 years older) had a gap year and spent a good few months travelling through SE Asia and S America and found it really helpful to check that they wanted to go to Uni etc (they applied deferred) and also found it good to have a break after 14 years of continuous education. I also feel it did them good to spend time working to save the money for travelling.

Regarding DC’s navigating uni computer systems, uploading docs competently etc etc. Won’t they be shown this? If they struggle will they feel able to garner help from a lecturer, a classmate? Or if they’re shy call you as and when? Or Is there anyway you can practice some of the tech beforehand? As you would ensuring they can use a washing machine, cook a decent variety etc. I have the opposite problem that once my DD goes to uni I’ll not have a clue. I’m rather dependent on her explaining tech stuff - it’ll be me that needs a hotline!

@Whoknewitwasthishard Im with you that unless a teen knows what they want to study and has a reasonable amount of interest in that subject then university should wait a while. It’s not only too expensive but a 3 year minimum commitment. So taking a year out, working, travelling, thinking, isn’t a bad idea at all. It’s also an opportunity to decompress after a few rather weird years. The only caveat to this is if there’s any chance he’d want to do something mathsy as he should ideally aim to retain those skills. Uni aren’t keen on maths students taking gap years apparently. Given how hard your DS worked at A levels what makes you think he’ll skip lectures? If he’s remotely burnt out then a year doing something different could be a good tonic in that regard too.

Yes, sure there will be help. And I guess any WiFi enabled device will do, so will get her a second hand tablet. Should be fine.