DD changed her mind about degree course to apply for - away from a useful/vocational one!

[Tortoise44]

My daughter was all set to apply to unis this autumn to study finance. We have done four uni visits already and have booked in three more (and already bought the train tickets!). She has now decided that although she wants to work in finance (probably), she would rather study languages! This is surely a very bad idea from a career perspective.

I am annoyed because she wants to look at different unis to the ones we’ve visited/booked up for so we have wasted time and money. In addition, she never reads books and I am told that languages require studying literature. A languages degree is also four years rather than three so extra funding required! All in all, she should clearly stick with finance but what do others advise? Her A-levels are Maths, Business and Spanish and she will hopefully get BBB in her mocks at least.

I trained in one of the big4, most people didn’t have a related degree so it doesn’t matter at all. Those that did maybe got one or two exemptions from the earlier exams (out of over 12 exams total) so overall not much less.
As someone who did a degree subject because I though it would be the right thing rather than what I was passionate about, I would never recommend picking a degree because it’s what someone else said you should do / you think it’ll get you a job - do something you love and are interested in, makes learning so much better

First off if you are so keen on finance take a huge look at what you are doing financially and if being debt free is the best way forward

second no it really doesn’t give you the right and if that is your attitude your daughter is best to go her own way and be her own person

you may not like it but it is her life her choice and you can control that by using money and threats. That isn’t good parenting

her new choice is fine valid and sensible

Language is a fantastic degree. For what it's worth, I know people who work in the financial sector and they would never employ someone who studied finance / accounting etc at uni. They much prefer traditional / academic degrees from good universities and then decide to study afterwards (ie, training contracts).
Their reason is - they'd much rather hire someone who has an interesting degree and more broadly read than someone who decided at 18 they want to be an accountant. To put it bluntly accounting and finance degrees are seen as boring and easy. Traditional degrees such as maths, PPE, English, languages will attract more interesting people and the courses are more rigorous. I'd know who I'd prefer to work with...

Oh wow, op, you know how to drive a kid away don't you? I'm paying so I get to choose? She has learned a lesson right there!

This is her future and she is old enough to decide what she does with it.

You're effectively going to bribe her into unhappiness or alternatively, force her away. I'd have a rethink about your strategy here.

As it is a sudden change maybe suggest that she considers a gap year in Germany to help develop the language before uni, or even study out there, she could still apply this year and defer but it would give her time to reflect on what she wants to do.

Ultimately if she isn't doing the right course for her she may struggle to motivate herself so the whole of your financial support will be wasted.

Just wow, what a controlling AN you are. It sounds like it is your way or no way.

OP, if you’re going to be this controlling you really need to be better informed about the options. Language grads are very highly prized and thin on the ground. She’s also likely to get into a more prestigious uni for languages as there aren’t many applicants. In my industry (City law) a language grad from a decent uni would have a much better chance than someone with a finance degree from somewhere less prestigious.

Can’t think of anything worse than forcing your child to study the subject you choose and then making a duff choice.

^in addition, she never reads books
she is suddenly “desperate” to learn German and fascinated by German history^
People do change especially young people and surely it is very much a positive that she is engaging with both the above and therefore the wider world and culture.
She should have course do her own research on courses once she has finished exams. Since you have the funds for tuition fees perhaps you could pay for her to do a Goethe Institute course this summer to confirm that this is not just a fad. Another possibility for her would be a business or finance type degree which has a year abroad.
https://www.reading.ac.uk/ready-to-study/study/subject-area/business-and-management-accounting-and-finance-ug/bsc-business-and-management-with-study-year-abroad

I was going to reply super nicely about how misguided you are about courses, but you’ve shown your hand here. This is about control, and your daughter doing what you want.

Not only are you wrong about what course is best for her, you’re also horrible about supporting her academic studies.

Honestly, the people with the best paid careers of my cohort are the ones who did non-vocational courses and languages give a HUGE step in the door to so many possible jobs. The idea that you are dismissing languages is laughable as it’s probably one of the most useful CV wise (and I’m no linguist!).

Seriously though I hope she takes the loans. The most toxic thing you can do is hold money over her head like you’re doing. She’d be better off with independence from you.

Think you really need to look at some of those university chemistry syllabuses.

Having done my degree in chemistry, it's really not that mathematical - a little bit beyond A'Level at most; and certainly not as maths heavy as an A&F degree.

Wow op, your last post is shocking.
No, you do not get to choose for your DD because you're paying.
So, you blackmail her into doing what you want, she hates it and drops out, and you've wasted your money and potentially damaged her future career. Not to mention your relationship with her. I was genuinely shocked to read your last post. You are very controlling.

Law, Banking and Accounting firms have been keen on MFL for the last 30 years+ - that's nothing new.

Please don't be those sort of parents who offer support/help/money but with huge strings attached. It's not fair on her and will really cause issues in your relationship long term. Imagine she has this option and under such pressure does the finance degree as she's worried about debt.....then she hates the course, drops out after two years and has no degree. How much do you think she will blame you? A lot!

My mum used to try and control me like this. She didn't talk to me once for 6 months because she didn't like the car I'd bought. She threw temper tantrums when I was house hunting over certain houses she didn't like the location of. I went NC with her for the last 6 years of her life as I couldn't stand being controlled and criticised so much. She could never see it and said she was being helpful!

For what it’s worth, I have a weirdly high number of friends that work in finance, consulting and similar in London, all brilliantly paid. Two did economics, the rest (I count 14, possibly more) did sciences, languages or law at high ranking unis.

I don’t think I know of anyone with a finance degree, and to be honest, if your intentions are for her to get a swanky London job (to pay you back or make you look successful?), that’s not the way to go about it.

You also seem to think that a 17 year old should be able to choose their life path and stick with it. Finance is hardly the most enthralling prospect so my suspicion is you’ve pushed her towards it purely with a focus on her possible income later on, rather than her actually having an interest in it.

Leave her to it- I can promise you she will be more successful if she makes her own choices.

It must be a little frustrating to have trips booked when she's changed her mind but the money lost on train tickets will be insignificant compared to the debt she'd have from starting a degree that she would be unhappy with and either dropping out or getting a poor result.

Absolutely this! It's a crucial moment, don't blow it. You absolutely should not blackmail her into doing something she doesn't want to. Have you listened to any advice here? Have you heard the people with experience saying the finance degree isn't the amazing option you think it is?

If you are able to fund her degree you should and it shouldn't be conditional.
What will you do if she hates it and wants to change after 1st year? What if she fails? Threaten to withdraw the cash again?

Apart from anything she still has months before she applies so let things settle, she'll do her research then make a decision.

I think you are being very narrow minded. It is not necessary or even desirable to do a vocational degree.

I wouldn't be wholly convinced about the idea of German though. Imo the better route would be to get really fluent in Spanish and then add in Portuguese. That would set her up for working with LatAm and Lusophone Africa. Those regions will be fertile ground for business in the next decade and her skills will be valued.

What a dreadful and controlling attitude. Your "offer" to your DD clearly has strings attached to it. You want to control her choices so that she does what YOU deem acceptable.

@CremeEggThief is absolutely right. It is HER CHOICE, NOT YOURS! Quite frankly, she might be better off getting into debt than going in the direction you are trying to drive her.

Why do you think a languages degree is incompatible with working in finance? It isn't. I did a languages degree and then worked in insurance, which is still part of financial services.

Perhaps DD is not quite as set on working in finance as you seem to think and wants to keep more options open. Why shouldn't she? Why does a 17/18/19 year old have to be fully decided right now on what career to pursue?

The idea of joint honours might have legs, but if she no longer wants to do finance she may not want that either. If that is the case you really can't force it and should not try to coerce her with this strings attached "offer" of yours.

If you are going to make offers like that then it should apply to whichever reasonable choice of degree she makes. A degree in modern foreign languages is a perfectly valid choice and does not have to involve lots of literature.

There are plenty of worthy avenues open to graduates in modern foreign languages as others have already explained.

rubbish - we offered to pay both her tuition fees and living costs so she can go debt free. We have a HUGE say as a result. Or, if she doesn’t do vocational degree, she can take out the loans and go her own way - no probs - and we will do what most parents do and top up minimum maintenance loans to maximum

Oh my Lord!

I hadn't seen this before I posted.

I have a very controlling M. Notice I call her M and not DM. I see her once a week, I do it because that's what my DF would have wanted.

It's taken therapy and the support of amazing friends and family but going LC is one of my best achievements ever.

You DD will soon become an adult. Please think for a while about what kind of relationship you would like with her for the next few decades.

Wow OP - really not a good approach!!

Has your DD ever really wanted a career in finance or is it just what you have told her to do all along?

Good on your DD for saying what she wants! I hope her teachers continue to advise her and can provide her with unbiased information.

This isn't the case. DS has a Deloitte summer internship this year and is studying history

I’ve got a degree in Modern Languages (one very mainstream language and one very rare) and I work in a senior (director level) role in a large bank. Languages doesn’t close off those opportunities. Also in the third year she could work abroad, there could even be opportunities for paid work in the financial sector.

My advice to your DD is to study the subjects that interest her and get as far away as she can from her controlling mother.