Oxbridge Rejects 2023 - Come this way and commiserate

[Rejects]

As mentioned on the other thread a safe space for those who'd like a bit of support while not dampening others' moods Sorry that I have gone on a lot about this rejection already on here - it's helped me keep outwardly calm and cheerful when my ds has been very upset.

I am acutely aware in the scheme of things a university rejection is not a huge deal and that amazing lives and outcomes no doubt await all our dc wherever they go, it's just getting through the time between now and A levels and/or offers from other unis arriving, keeping dcs' morale up. Good luck everyone

I know a few who have reapplied and got in . I also know 1 who has reapplied, got in and is thinking of not going to uni at all as they sensibly took the opportunity in their enforced gap year to get a brilliant job in their field of interest that is very lucrative (this idea is obviously loved by oxbridge on their UCAS statement).

A word of caution about reapplying if I may. DS’ friend was pooled by O but didn’t get an offer last year. Feedback encouraged her to reapply so she did - with 3 A stars in hand. She was rejected in January and is totally crushed. She came from an inadequate state school too so had more chance of getting in than those from independent/highly selective schools

Sorry pressed send too soon - being a double Oxbridge reject is hard to take for most DC!

Yup @Holidayhunters - I think it's better to keep the encouraging feedback in the back of your head, to know you were definitely in the game, rather than actually act on it. Unless you're super, super robust.

@Rejects Absolutely agree. Do let us know if and when your DS gets his St A's offer - I feel rather invested in his future now after lurking on this and the previous thread! I wish him every success

Thank you, I will! Beginning to think it will never happen ... It would be really nice to have a next stage to look forward to, like @LanadelSlay he's rather lost interest in the other offers but there's no point me trying to big up other unis atm, so am just trying to keep the mood generally upbeat and generally, now his mocks are over and the illness he had over half term has gone, he seems quite cheerful.

@Rejects late offers are so stressful. My DS didn’t get his Durham one til early May last year (he applied in October). By then, he was so hacked off with Durham that he turned them down!

Early May is ridiculous!
It's just not fair to offer when all offer days are done and dusted and they're all heading into their A level exams.
My dc applied to three which are renowned for being late to decide and has had one "earlier than expected" offer and is waiting for two more, although is only now seriously considering one of those two.
They'll undoubtedly miss the last offer day.
I fear they might only get a decision in May and as the weeks pass it is definitely putting them off that university and pushing them towards the one which offered earlier!

It's really unnerving to go into A levels not knowing where you stand. I have an image of everyone at StA looking at the dusty pile of applications and then saying, 'Sod it, we'll go to the pub.' I KNOW really they are very hard-pressed and working their fingers to the bone but it ain't a lot of fun - at least O and C had their offer days so you knew when to expect news.

Yes the St A offer day is on the 1st April, but they often don't send offers out until after that! And even mid-March would be too late for many people to organise a hotel etc if they live far away (we're in the SW so definitely cannot go last minute!)

i have to agree with this. Reapplying is not a good plan unless DC know they can cope with a second rejection. And if you are reapplying with anything other than stellar grades and are from a private or grammar school, your chances are even slimmer. Of the three students I know from our private school last year who reapplied this year, none got offers. All had A stars without exception

Can applicants go to an offer day if they haven't heard from the uni yet?

I’m presuming you can’t go, no. @ACJane could you book a hotel and then cancel if you haven’t heard or (won’t happen) it’s a no? We’re not even going to bother trying to get there

Yes that's what we plan to do but we still might not hear before then, I suspect particularly not if it's a rejection.

just imagine if all top unis had set offer days like Oxford and Cambridge - would be great (and add to prestige). Durham offer 3 Feb, Warwick 5 Feb, Imperial 16 Feb etc. Great stress reliever. I still hold it against Durham that they didn’t offer DS a place til early May. My younger DC resolved not to apply there as a result - March Ok at a push but not May when they are literally walking into A level exams and get rejected from unis en route!

sympathies with @Rejects @ACJane and @Holidayhunters about ridiculously protracted offers. My DD rejected from Oxford last year and (in her head) had Durham in 2nd place and York in 3rd (for history). York offered within a fortnight of her application going in and were regularly in contact - by post (sending her a “golden ticket’) not just email, and providing all sorts of helpful advice (accommodation, finance etc). York made her feel wanted throughout the process.

By contrast, and In the meantime, nothing from Durham other than bland ‘we are considering your application’ for SIX months.

DD finally got an offer from Durham in late
April (after their offer holder days had happened!) but firmed York instead coz so impressed by their comms and fed up with Durham’s arrogance. She is at York now and loving it.

@Temporarilythis Great to hear your DD’s experience. My DS is also waiting to hear from Durham but is edging towards York and is going to an offer holders day this month. If he likes it he’s decided to withdraw from Durham and make a decision between York and Warwick. He wants to have some certainty so that he can then focus on his A Levels.

He hasn’t been to visit Durham as it’s a long journey and had only planned to go if he’d got an offer but it’s looking unlikely now that he’ll get an offer before the last of the offer holder days so that’s pretty much ruled it out for him anyway. I can’t help but feel that their protracted system means they’ll miss out on some very good candidates, but that’s their loss.

Durham’s admissions continue snail like process unless you’re contextual. Luckily DC have a Warwick offer which is a target university and higher for their subject. Their open day subject presentation was also much more impressive than Durham. Just waiting on open days this month to decide on insurance choices and then will probably firm and withdraw from Durham.

Because Bristol offered Ds so early I thought he would have the same experience as above and get bored with waiting for Saint Andrews and go for nice, reliable B, but his heart instead has hardened against Bristol. Clearly he prefers the ones that play hard to get, which doesn’t bode well for his future love life… It’s now SA or he goes to run a cafe in Australia…

Coming on to concur that reapplying is not a good idea unless your dc is mentally well and truly prepared to be rejected again. The statistics for success second time are not that encouraging, especially now when grades were, if not inflated, then a bit generous.

I think schools should impress on aspirants just how bad the odds are (except for Classics maybe!) . When ds arrived for interview the hopefuls were gathered together and told, “There are 40 of you here and we have 8 places; we may not even give those places to people here - you’ve all done well to get this far.” It was very sobering and made ds feel better about being rejected.

I think amidst all the effort of an application, the encouragement and the excitement and adrenaline of the interview process, what gets lost is that the competition is brutal.

I know someone who got a St. Andrews offer (humanities) so fingers crossed some offers are coming through.

Still waiting for St Andrews here. But, ds got an offer for Imperial, so pretty happy here.

That's brilliant @FriendlyLaundryMonster was hoping some great offers would be coming in for DC. 😁

@yoyo1234 Thank you. He needs four A levels, one at A star and three at A and Step 2. Jeez! How are offers going for yours?

Wow, computer science by any chance. Ds not heard from Imperial.