Oxbridge Rejects 2023 - Come this way and commiserate

[Rejects]

As mentioned on the other thread a safe space for those who'd like a bit of support while not dampening others' moods Sorry that I have gone on a lot about this rejection already on here - it's helped me keep outwardly calm and cheerful when my ds has been very upset.

I am acutely aware in the scheme of things a university rejection is not a huge deal and that amazing lives and outcomes no doubt await all our dc wherever they go, it's just getting through the time between now and A levels and/or offers from other unis arriving, keeping dcs' morale up. Good luck everyone

Cursory look at this thread. You are in Scotland @FriendlyLaundryMonster and your clearly brilliant DC has got offers for Edinburgh and Imperial. Both truly excellent courses. Are you SERIOUSLY thinking of Imperial - when, as a Scot, it will cost you many thousands more? Bonkers. You have gone down a MN rabbit hole. Crazy

@Privilegeentrenched Yes, Ds prefers Imperial. He’d like to go somewhere techie, Edinburgh’s reputation seems largely built on research and the undergrad teaching side seems to be a bit chaotic at the moment, with massive lectures and almost no access to staff, tutorials are in practice around 40+ students, the course seems to be more theoretical and they have just stopped allocating students a personal tutor. It also has a lower global and UK ranking than Imperial and everyone is aware that compsci is extremely competitive. Imperial seems to be more highly regarded by employers. 4 years at Imperial will give him an MEng rather than a bachelors at Edinburgh, there is a built in internship, quite a few students are offered future jobs following on from this, Imperial is routinely ranked as one of the top ten universities in the world (currently 6th)…

Earnings after Imperial should be better. Don’t Edinburgh offer MEng? I’m surprised if they don’t (haven’t looked). Edinburgh is wonderful but it’s not Imperial. I get why DS wants it. It’s a stem university and therefore unique and very diverse. He’s really investing in his career.

@Aurea will you and your Ds be going to the Informatics offer holders day at Edinburgh?

@TizerorFizz Edinburgh does offer an integrated masters, but it would be 5 years instead of four.

Yes. 😊 We are intending to go but apparently he hasn't received an official invitation, just an email saying they would contact him shortly with more details.

We are a 2.5hr train journey way so it'll be a long day trip.

I presume you're be going too? I recall you said it was on 12th April?

@Aurea Yes, we will be going. Ds booked before he got the email! It has now come through, but not sure what it said. You can just go on the informatics website and book.

@FriendlyLaundryMonster

Sorry to be dense, but any chance you can signpost me to where you book on the informatics website. Thank you!

I think it’s interesting that most people who have replied to this or people with successful children (possibly not all, I’m not sure… ) of course, if your child got a place first time you’re going to think that was the way to go, nothing ventured etc.

Personally, with the obvious caveat that in some subjects a gap year is not advisable, yes – if I could do my time again, I would definitely have encouraged a post A-level application.

I resent the occasional poster popping up here, saying it’s the parents who are more upset than the children, in my case, it’s most certainly the other way round. Again, easy for parents of successful applicants to perceive it that way. I am upset (less than I was) - and I’m sure that’s true of most - but that is from seeing my DS very upset, most of the time he’s fine but he had another wobble last night as his school was boasting on social media about its exceptional Oxbridge year, best-ever results bla bla. I have the perspective to see one university isn’t the be all and that he will be fine in the long run, but my words don’t make any difference to him – if anyone has any suggestion of helpful things to say to kids who self-confidence has been damaged by the experience, I’d love to hear it.

it’s also very hard to have friends hearing how close he got saying things like “but this could change the course of his life.“ And seeing on here endless quibbles over whether one excellent uni is better than another (not just talking about cs debate it’s raging on several subjects/u is) as if your dc’s life will be ruined by making the “wrong” choice can lead to a lack of perspective. It makes only there is only one correct path and if you fail to take it you’re doomed.

Anyway, yes, if you’re doing a subject, which lends itself to a gap year, I would take the approach you suggest - it’s what I’m going to encourage ds2 to do. Having one shot and failing won’t seem so bad if you’re confident of an offer elsewhere and have top grades in hand. Applying twice and failing twice would be shattering- dh wants ds to reapply but I am firmly against it. Good luck whatever you decide to do

@Aurea https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/informatics-offer-holder-day-2023-tickets-549515835657

Thanks laundry monster - but arghh it's sold out! 😩

You only need to look at the post in the previous page that I made which has links to their CS societies. The sheer number of sponsors from the most competitive firms like Citadel, Jump Trading, Jane Street etc which are very selective about universities compared to Edinburgh says it all. Imperial CS grads often get hired at places that DocSoc (their Computing society) is sponsored by and that's a known fact there. Thwre are just so many sponsor-led events that they get access to for networking over the usual milkrounds.

Edinburgh is really good for Computing but her son is not ludicrous for choosing Imperial over it given how the salaries at some of those firms that heavily target Imperial (often 6 figures in a few years or even 100k starting for those fiems mentioned) can easily make up for the differential in living costs in not that long of a period.

@Rejects I'm completely with you. We have been told to apply again by so many people, including teachers. He really was seriously thinking about it and I was so nervous that we'd maybe have to go through it all again next year. However, he's just come back from St Andrew's after having a total ball (he met up with some people from his school who are already there) and absolutely wants to firm his offer up there. He loved it, said it was perfect. Huge sigh of relief from me, although we live in London and it's MILES away.

Oh, I'm so pleased for your ds! Great to know he's made his mind up and loved what he saw, he will have a great time. My ds is still dithering between Edinburgh and St Andrew's, it depends on some issues to do with the course but both seem great,. As with you they're both miles away and dh is urging ds to reapply to O entirely because he can't face the long car journeys to Scotland. I say he can go on the train and we can use one of those courier services. Ds is generally much cheerier now his other offers have come in, it's just the occasional moment of sadness now - as you say, other people urging a reapplication makes it much worse as it gives the impression nowhere else will do, which is simply not true.

@Karmacat im so happy for your ds! It’s great to feel so excited about the future. I’m sure he’ll do really well. Ds is still waiting on a response from St Andrews, so we’ve missed the offer day, but we did visit on an earlier Open Day and both really loved it.

@Rejects if he goes to St A's we will only take him at the beginning and ending of each term to pick up stuff, if I really have to, the rest of the time he's on the train. Husband thinks it's ridiculously far and he should reapply for C next year. I'll do the drive, won't bother me and will also see if anyone else from his school goes then maybe share the trips. I'm SO happy my recently sad boy has a smile on his face again. I'll walk there if I have to!

@Karmacat and @Rejects DS is at St A and we live in London. I do envy my friends who can visit their student kids for lunch but that's about me, not about him. He is loving it and it's such a wholesome place to be a student and so different from where we live. I think he's got a lovely balance - he was never particularly outdoorsy but he goes on 15km walks just because it's so glorious. Then he comes back here in the holidays and goes clubbing.

The train is 5.5 hours and you just sit on it so in a way it's easier than some shorter journeys. He didn't take a huge amount of stuff which is no bad thing - just what we could stuff into large wheelie suitcases and take on the train - there's never any need to drive especially since if you need to buy them anything you just do it online.

Re. the person choosing between Imperial and Edinburgh, I really don't see that the fees should be an issue. The chances are that he'll be earning loads of money from either place and I think the 9k a year will end up being peanuts. Especially if he 'saves' a year by being at Imperial. If he were a dance student, it might be a different calculation. But CS from Imperial... reckon he's sorted.

Karmacat - he came home by train on his own at the end of the first term carrying a backpack because he could leave his stuff in his room. I'm hoping he'll find somewhere to store his stuff between the end of the summer term and his flat tenancy beginning. I'm sure he will. As it is, his stuff is almost worthless...

And the train ride is glorious.

DS1 rejected from Cambridge for Maths after interview. I'm really proud of him for getting that far. Has offers from Warwick, Durham, Bath, York. Current 1st choice is Durham, changed his mind about Warwick which was going to be 1st choice, concerned social life might not be good enough at Warwick. He's still trying to weigh up Bath/York for 2nd choice. Thinks York might not be academic enough for him. Bath offer grades are not very different to Durham, he seems to think Bath might be more flexible if he doesn't get the grades, I'm not so sure, but who knows? It's his decision in the end.

@Valleyofthedollymix thank you for the info that's made my evening!

@Rejects
I haven’t engaged with this thread much as it’s no longer an issue for me. However I can tell you, and everyone, that getting an Oxbridge offer and then missing a grade at A level is the cruelest rejection! DD went elsewhere and adjusted very quickly . I found it far more difficult. It felt like a massive punch in the stomach. You come through it and she’s done well since. It’s made little difference to her career. Or life really. So heads up and keep going.

Right but that would come into play when the supply of CS candidates outstrips demand. It is still an employee’s market which will mot change dramatically for at least a decade. No white shoe SW developers either. So if you want to get a foot in the door, you will be able to do so irrespective of whether your degree is from Edinburgh or Imperial. Nearly everything else (e.g. location) matters more than the brand name in my view

Tech is really not the employees' market you say it is and many of the big tech companies have been laying off and there are more kids going into CS each year, meaning that competition will inevitably increase...have you not seen the news on Meta, Amazon etc.. and we are not in the best economic environment either so not the best for hiring.

There is a list of tech layoffs below , many quite heavy.

www.google.com/amp/s/techcrunch.com/2023/03/30/tech-industry-layoffs/amp/