Oxford/Cambridge - current students support/chat thread 2022 - cont

[Panicmode1]

@petitebleu - so sorry to hear about your DS. I hope that some time out over Christmas may help to give him some space and time to think about his next steps.

@pantjog that sounds lovely, a day to treasure!

Had a great day on the towpath yesterday, SO hot but eventually enjoyed the shade at Grassy Corner. Ds rowed over. I'm so explosively proud of him getting into the first men's boat as a fresher and pretty much a novice (I forced him onto a week's holiday rowing course three years ago which he didn't mind but didn't continue with). Now he has caught the bug seriously. I remember feeling as if I had fallen in love when I discovered rowing and he looks the same.

Very very brave indeed pantjog :)

I'm another in awe of your bravery @pantjog!! I asked DS once if they swim in the river after rowing in the heat, and he said "You must be joking"!

That is brilliant @PermanentTemporary . DS is a novice fresher rower too, but has only ever reached the dizzying heights of the M2 boat, and then got bumped to M3 for this week as two blues returned after the boat race proper. Still, they've had a good week and are aiming for blades today, so he's not too unhappy, and really loves the mental break that rowing gives him.

That sounds like a brilliant day @pantjog and I approve greatly of an impromptu swim.

Sounds great @pantjog . DD had one row-over then bumped 3 boats in succession so doesn't get blades this time. However, her record of never being bumped still stands. She's off to a conference tomorrow - the joys of a PhD compared to undergraduate life, but she is hoping for a visit home before the end of the month. If she does, I think it'll be the first time just the 4 of us have been home together since Christmas 2019 as my dad has stayed here on extended visits since March 2020.

Nice photo upthread @goodbyestranger although I'm not sure which one was your house.

It's barely visible Malbec but these photos give an interesting perspective of our bit of coast.

I guess DD4 has never been bumped either but obviously much less time on the river - but she was hopeful for blades until Oriel bumped St John's very early. Still, they did fine and she too is loving the rowing - says she's much better organised going out early on the river; a major plus.

I've been away from this thread as the above quote of what I wrote earlier in the year will explain. I guess some of you will now be at the stage of finals and graduation.

DS came home from Oxford some time ago to focus on revising for his "return-to-study" collections. He's now back in Oxford and those collections are this coming week. He thinks (hopes!) that these are a formality - he knows enough to pass these and everything else is lined up for this college to have him back next term and complete his degree. I'm still feeling a little nervous but I am sure he will be fine...

Hello DadDadDad. Will your DS go into the (new) college accommodation or rent in the private sector? Does he have people he knows at the college he was transferred into? Hope he's doing well.

I'm so happy to hear your son is back on track, dad cubed. Has he been keeping in contact with other students on his course? DD1 tells me that intermitting students can be vulnerable when they return to study and find themselves in a different cohort.

Glad to hear your news, Dads hope all goes well for DS next year.

Nice to hear from you @DadDadDad - really encouraging to hear of the supper your DS has received.

DS1 is home! He seems to have acquired a lot of stuff this year. Mainly books sold off by various libraries. He's exhausted and is having a week off before his internship starts.

All the best to your DS Dadx3. I hope collections go well and his new college/cohort are welcoming in October.

Very good to hear from you Dad x 3 and all best wishes to your ds for the next steps.

Good luck to your DS with his internship @HoneyMobster. And a rest is so very important too.

Last year, DS went from finishing second year exams to Varsity tennis and onto London for a two months internship. After that he started on his dissertation and grad job applications, went on a trip to the Atlas Mountains and then back to Cambridge for his final year. It was no wonder he succumbed to shingles part way through the year. He hadn’t had any downtime before he started the year.

@DadDadDad nice to hear your update and very good wishes to your ds for next term.

@DadDadDad it's really good to hear from you again and brilliant that your DS is back at Oxford, preparing for college collections. Good luck to him and I'm sure these are a formality only. I hope he settles back into student life in the next academic year and enjoys the rest of his time at Oxford. He's very courageous, as are all those who need to take time out and then return. Do keep in touch on this thread.

@Catsrcool69 and @HewasH20 thanks for those links to more information about the marking strikes and for your points made to the VC office, @Catsrcool69 . I drafted a letter to our local MP but I can't and won't send it or do anything unless DS1 (C) gives me permission. He remains utterly unconcerned and deeply involved in all night Balls, with 3 Balls across 5 days and nights, garden parties and various other social events, squeezing the very last 'juice' out of Cambridge life. He won't be home until after the 'mock' graduation ceremony. He's invited DS2 to one of the Cambridge Balls which is nice of him and DS2 then plans to travel straight back to Oxford from Cambridge, having stayed up the entire night. Oh the energy of youth!

Meanwhile, DS2 (O) has been moved to a different accommodation block in his college and as most people went home yesterday, it's a lot more quiet. However, he's got a few friends still around and enjoyed his last ever formal after his choir concert, which I'm sure practically all other parents must have gone to but he didn't really invite me! He's working on a research project/ writing thing and enjoying himself immensely. His proper graduation ceremony is later in the summer and I'm trying not to compare and contrast how Oxford and Cambridge have handled the marking strikes and looked after their students - or not, in the case of Cambridge.

@pantjog how brilliant to have a dip in the river! We're a 'wild water swimming' family and nothing beats fresh water, whatever the temperature, provided it's fairly clean!

Thanks for all your kind wishes.

Yes, DS is in the strange position of a new college and a different cohort, so that's going to be a bit tough. Because he now has official diagnoses (the main purpose of taking this year out), to meet his needs he's get college accommodation next year, which will be very helpful. He's been good at making a circle of friends across Oxford, so I think his social group will work that way - I suspect he will remain a bit of an outsider to his year group in college.

@DadDadDad I'm so pleased to hear your update. DD has made some wonderful friends outside her college and I'm sure that your DS will do the same. He certainly won't be alone in taking some time out. DD said 25% of those taking her subject in her college rusticate this term and plan to go back next year.

Thanks for everyone's updates!
We're currently en route to Oxford to collect all DD1's worldly goods. She has to move out of her room on 22nd, but has two balls after that (one at which she's working) so is going to spend her last few nights of student life sleeping on a friend's floor She's going to be a wreck when she comes home on the train next weekend!

Meanwhile life has just become extra full-on for me because DD2 (year 12) is now doing the rounds of university open days. Had a lovely experience on Friday...in Edinburgh for the open day, we were shown into the lecture theatre for the presentation and I realised it was the very lecture theatre in which I had my first ever lecture, 33 years ago. It was surreal, amazing and traumatic all at once! I suddenly feel very old...

Even further back for me. As DS starts second year I shall remember the backdrop to my starting university as the Yom Kippur war (50 years ago) was in full swing not far away from us in two neighbouring countries. The department secretary - as they were then known - at Manchester took the trouble to call to let me know that there was a place for me the following Monday. This was Thursday. I made it.

I'm happy to see your update dad. It's good to know that he has lots of connections.

It seems like a lot of the finalists are having fun. DD (C) doesn't have to worry about a viva for her diss, as it's not getting marked for months yet, so she can have fun at the ball. She's just socialising now and practising French. She went to London the other day to get her visa, but the requirements recently changed, she was missing a form and by the time they got to see her 2 hours after her appt time, it was too late for her to quickly do it as they were closing, so cancelled her application completely and kicked her out! Now she has to start again. Annoying, but it's just admin.

@CinnamonJellyBeans My DD had similar admin nightmares with getting her French Visa at the Manchester centre. She had the correct forms but as applying for a long term visa and you can't get those more than 3 months ahead and her appointment was 3 months and 5 days in advance of her departure date so they made her book and pay for another appointment. Another post Brexit trip hazard

Lovely to hear about everyone's DC enjoying their final term. DC1 took a gap year so we are a year behind. Zoomed DC1 today and he fortunately / amazingly did get his 2nd year course work in on time on Friday. He heard this week he has received grants for his field work research this summer so that is a big relief. Seven weeks data collection in Paris...

@MiniJellyBeans I so remember doing two balls back to back and literally losing my voice half way through the second night.

@DadDadDad - all the very best for next term - while your DS may understandably be a bit nervous it sounds as though the year out has been what they required.

@Clemenc0 - that sounds a big challenge to get to Uni- while on another thread a parent is saying their child will not travel more than 3 hrs to Uni while you had to cross a war zone

@pantjog - I'm a big wild swimmer too - one of DC1's friends is doing their dissertation interviewing wild swimmers in Port Meadow

@Juja : Fortunately the escape route was straight over the eastern Mediterranean to Heathrow eventually. All much easier for DC now. C is 40 minutes away by car.

It's so lovely (and encouraging) to read everyone's updates.
I've lurked for a while and found so much useful advice ... thank you.

DS is just finishing his first year at O. His is one of the last subjects to sit their prelims and he's been so stressed about them. He phoned me today in tears saying there's no point sitting the rest and he wants to drop out now. I've persuaded him to sit the other exams so that he has concrete proof as to how he is doing.

He was equally stressed at last collections but did fine and his tutor assured him he's doing well.
I think his problem is the feeling he had to prove himself all the time. From a state school background, it was his decision to go the Oxbridge route and I've told him the fact that he managed to get in and stay the first year is a huge achievement. He says he has fallen out of love with his subject. His eyes used to light up when he discussed it and they don't now.

I just want him home now so he can clear his mind before he makes any decisions. Maybe O isn't for him, I don't know but I've told him if he wants to transfer to another Uni that's completely fine.
It's going to be a long week!

I've had a response from the Vice Chancellor's office at C (Professor Munir). He has stated that all exams will be marked eventually. He seems clear about that, so fingers crossed they will deliver on that. He also said that "where possible" students will be given "provisional" grades. I guess that implies it won't be possible for some and he does not expand on this. If required, those who are given a provisional grade can ask their college for a letter for employers etc. I get the impression that there is still some uncertainty for the university about who will be impacted and by how much.

I think I feel reassured that exams will finally be marked, but for this to happen the UCEA needs to get back into negotiations with the union. I am still mystified and furious that they are not doing so. And I'm really hoping the lecturers might take pity on finalists.

Otherwise DD appears to be making the most of her last May week!

@Bapple that sounds stressful and I hope it all works out okay. I dont think it's unusual for confidence to take a knock but your DD is there on merit and I will keep my fingers crossed it all goes better than he fears.